Received: from evaki.its.uow.edu.au (130.130.68.32) by staffmail.uow.edu.au (10.5.102.13) with Microsoft SMTP Server id 8.1.336.0; Sun, 22 Feb 2009 09:41:31 +1100 Received: from febris-nat.its.uow.edu.au ([130.130.68.210] helo=febris.its.uow.edu.au) by evaki.its.uow.edu.au with esmtp (Exim 4.69) (envelope-from ) id 1Lb0XK-0001WL-MK for blane@uow.edu.au; Sun, 22 Feb 2009 09:41:30 +1100 Received: from c3.confirmedcc.com (c3.confirmedcc.com [64.95.77.164]) by febris.its.uow.edu.au (MOS 3.10.3-GA) with ESMTP id QUC57219; Sun, 22 Feb 2009 09:41:26 +1100 (EST) Received: from p2-ws508.ad.prodcc.net (unknown [10.252.0.101]) by c3.confirmedcc.com (Postfix) with ESMTP id 5E2A234E8D95 for ; Sat, 21 Feb 2009 17:25:37 -0500 (EST) From: Fatherhood Foundation To: Brian Lane Date: Sun, 22 Feb 2009 09:27:52 +1100 Subject: Tipping Point Dads4Kids Thread-Topic: Tipping Point Dads4Kids Thread-Index: AcmUdYqsx/+MRyAXTqyADIUeObft2g== Message-ID: <1102470015080.1101938345415.1211.8.114172519@scheduler> List-Unsubscribe: http://visitor.constantcontact.com/d.jsp?p=un&v=001jm8CFGIzLJHYg-gJRLc-3d90mBLDU8ykWqdM4fOvbM2bum1hhjJdDQ== Reply-To: "info@fathersonline.org" Accept-Language: en-AU, en-US Content-Language: en-US X-MS-Exchange-Organization-AuthAs: Anonymous X-MS-Exchange-Organization-AuthSource: excasht03.ad.uow.edu.au X-MS-Has-Attach: X-MS-TNEF-Correlator: x-junkmail-status: score=10/49, host=febris.its.uow.edu.au x-junkmail-sd-raw: score=unknown, refid=str=0001.0A150204.49A0831A.005A:SCFMA772204,ss=1,fgs=0, ip=64.95.77.164, so=2008-09-22 23:22:13, dmn=5.7.1/2008-09-02, mode=single engine x-junkmail-iwf: false x-return-path-hint: ESC1102470015080_1101938345415_1211@in.confirmedcc.com x-roving-id: 1101938345415.1211 x-lumos-senderid: 1101938345415 x-roving-campaignid: 1102470015080 x-roving-streamid: 0 Content-Type: multipart/alternative; boundary="_000_1102470015080110193834541512118114172519scheduler_" MIME-Version: 1.0 --_000_1102470015080110193834541512118114172519scheduler_ Content-Type: text/plain; charset="iso-8859-1" Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable HTML Web Version Dads4Kids Newsletter [http://origin.ih.constantcontact.com/fs007/1101938345415/img/526.gif?a=3D1= 102470015080] 23rd February 2009 Inspiring Fathers Encouraging Families Issue 340 [http://img.constantcontact.com/ui/stock1/3m9q9k8q.jpg] Tipping Point Dads4Kids Dear Brian, Welcome to the Fatherhood Foundation newsletter and email information servi= ce for Fathers and Families as we present Tipping Point Dads4Kids In This Issue Frontline...Dads4Kids..Tipping Point..The Australian Family Landscape Link...Good Idea Laughter..Pass the peas Grandfathers...Ideas won't Keep..do something Single Dads...Good Co Parenting All You Need is Love..Love through Prostrate Cancer Special Feature...Dads4Kids Winners News & Info..Men's Health Enquiry Dad's Prayer..Actions speak louder than words Next Week Our Future Our Children [http://img.constantcontact.com/ui/images1/s.gif] Join our Mailing List! [http://img.constantcontact.com/ui/images1/ftf_btn_1.gif] Quick Links Fatherhood Foundation Family Law Web Guide National Fatherhood Institute National Marriage Coalition Camp Connect Men's Katoomba Convention Fathers after Divorce Steve Biddulph CSA Adverts Thought of the Week [http://origin.ih.constantcontact.com/fs007/1101938345415/img/628.jpg?a=3D1= 102470015080] [http://img.constantcontact.com/ui/images1/s.gif] The best way to have a good idea is to have lots of ideas. Linus Pauling Frontline [http://origin.ih.constantcontact.com/fs007/1101938345415/img/404.jpg?a=3D1= 102470015080] Dads4Kids has certainly made a mark on the Australian family landscape. Matthew Hayde= n appeared on TV asking people to send in their= best ideas for helping Aussie kids and that is exactly what happened. The = Dads4Kids Competition was inundated with good ideas on how to best help Aus= tralia's children. Five hundred and seventy-five entries from young and old= were received. Over 20 judges from 5 different states and many walks of li= fe worked hard to determine the winners in the final round. This week Dads4Kids Fatherhood Foundation would like to highlight the adult= winners of the competition so that you can get an insight into how many pe= ople are thinking about family out there because there was an overwhelming = consensus from all entries of 'let's get back to the basics'. The media, an= d our overwhelming lust for more possessions at the expense of family relat= ionships came under sustained attack from all concerned. Other themes raise= d were family breakdown, family communication, need for more male role mode= ls, the importance of fathers, family values, the need for more family base= d fun events, eating together as a family, healthy living, obesity, bullyin= g in schools, listening to children, the need for more parenting courses, t= he environment, better education and many other related issues. Many times = I was moved to tears as I read the heartfelt cries for action from children= who wanted their daddy back or other children were are being preyed on by = bullies. Every entry was personally read and there is now a lot of work ahead of the= Fatherhood Foundation in order to put the many great ideas into action. Be= low is one of our winners, Lyle Sims from Gunnedah. Read what he had to say= about how best to help Australia's children. Further winning entries are f= ound in our Special Feature. The Challenge The greatest challenges facing Australian Children today are threefold: A need for family relationships, A need for respect and honour for whom respect and honour is due, A galvanising of the gender differences. Why? because so many Australian children today are cut adrift from support= structures, role modelling, and acceptances of children's and young peopl= e significance and place in our communities. TV, SMS and peers have become= their parents, teachers and family. They are drenched with a culture of s= elf satisfying, self seeking, from the self absorbed media, so that healthy= attitudes to life and their place in life are often stunted and stifled. O= ur young peoples are the future of our nation. As they go so goes the natio= n. Our future is in their hands, their future is in ours. The Solution The best way to help Aussie children through these challenges is to proacti= vely involve ourselves in children's lives. All around them many children = are being sold the message that the way to be a winner is to disconnect fro= m parents, community and God. We need to spend time with children, see the= world from their point of view, not exclusively of course, but enough so = that we can see the problems and challenges that they face. We need to the= n put our hands back on the wheel of where the family is going. Children n= eed guidelines. Children need boundaries within which to exercise freedom o= f choice. Family relationships, even composite families, have a chance to = provide this, if we are willing to try. Allow TV and SMS, but set time lim= its. Allow only one family TV in the house. Talk about the values (positi= ve or negative) that those who produced the programs were trying to convey.= Be involved. Teach the proper place of respect for whom respect is due. = Begin with God. The Fundraising Since the problems are systemic both in society and in the media's attitude= s, a way forward would be to target both. First write to the top 500 wealt= hiest fathers & grandfathers in Australia asking if they would be willing t= o contribute 1% of their personal wealth to a trust to fund the promotion o= f family values through the media. This would be called the '1 from 500' = group, with these funds address the challenges as outlined above through th= e media. Additionally create an annual award to be given to given (possibl= y at the Logies) to the best free to air channel who promotes family values= (free of charge). Investigate if community announcements like 'kidsafe' ar= e currently screened free of charge. Lovework This is one of those times that we ask for your help. You could help us imp= lement Lyle's idea. Maybe you know one of the 500 wealthiest fathers or gra= ndfathers in Australia. Maybe you could approach him on our behalf. We are = happy to meet with possible contributors to ask for their help in promoting= family values if you can arrange an appointment. The dream of the Fatherho= od Foundation is to become a key part of the tipping point for positive cha= nge for the children of Australia. Together we can make a difference. Yours for our children Warwick Marsh PS The Senate is holding an Inquiry into Men's Health. We were= only notified of this last week. It is critical that as many submissions as possible are made to this indepe= ndent inquiry. The Dads4Kids Fatherhood Foundation has gained an extension = of time beyond the closing date of 27th February 2009. Let me encourage you to get your own submission together: 2 lines, 2 paragr= aphs or 2 pages ASAP. This is a golden opportunity to let your voice be hea= rd. See News & Info. PS2 The All You Need is Love Story is a must read for every man in Australi= a. Read it if you dare. ____________________________________________________________________ Warwick Marsh has been married to Alison for 33 years. He is the grandfath= er of two children and father of five children, four boys and one girl, ran= ging in age from 28 years to 16 years. Warwick is a musician, songwriter, = producer and public speaker who likes to think he can still laugh at himsel= f. Link of the Week Good Idea Laughter [http://origin.ih.constantcontact.com/fs007/1101938345415/img/626.jpg?a=3D1= 102470015080] An 80 year old woman was arrested for shop lifting. When she went before the magistrate in Parramatta he asked her, "What did you steal?"She replied, "A can of peaches." The judge then asked her why she had stolen the can of peaches and she replied that she was hungry.The judge then asked her how many peaches were in the can. She replied 6. The judge then said, "I will then give you 6 days in jail." Before the judge could actually pronounce the punishment, the woman's husband spoke up and asked the judge if he could say something.The judge said, "What is it?" The husband said, "She also stole a can of peas." Grandfathers [http://origin.ih.constantcontact.com/fs007/1101938345415/img/629.jpg?a=3D1= 102470015080] The vitality of thought is an adventure. Ideas won't keep. Something must be done about them. Alfred North Whitehead Single Dads THE KEY TO DIVORCED PARENTS HELPING THEIR CHILDREN THROUGH ECONOMICALLY STR= ESSFUL TIMES: WORK TOGETHER by Deborah Hecker PhD[http://origin.ih.constantcontact.com/fs007/1101938345= 415/img/631.jpg?a=3D1102470015080] A Few Basics About Good Co-parenting Before a discussion about how to communicate to your child/children about t= he financial turmoil your family may be going through, there are a few esse= ntial points that must be made: Co-parenting after a divorce is a very difficult job. Never underestimate t= he amount of effort it takes to establish a relationship that works. A comm= itment to the co-parenting relationship is especially important when helpin= g your child through stressful circumstances, such as a change in family fi= nances. If you are a divorced co-parent, please remember that both you and your for= mer spouse are mutually responsible for creating the foundation upon which = your child/children are building their self. Raising healthy children is a = team sport which requires the active contribution and collaboration of both= parents. Successful co-parenting depends on the ability of two people to successfull= y resolve their conflicts. It does not mean they must trust one another or = agree on all matters related to the children. However, like any good busine= ss relationship, each partner must value and respect the other and must be = receptive to their opinions. A good co-parent is someone who compromises. Successful co-parents try their best to keep their children's interests fir= st and foremost. How To Communicate Your Changing Financial Circumstances To Your Children Consider the following scenario; Your spouse gets laid off. You are not rec= eiving your monthly child support payments. The household bills are mountin= g. You feel guilty that you cannot afford to give your child the extras, pe= rhaps even the necessities. You try to cover up your anxiety and anger but = your child sees through your efforts. Now what? No matter how much you try to shield your children from the nation's worsen= ing financial picture, more than likely they have, at least, an inkling of = the hardships everyone is facing. The research shows that if family financi= al setbacks are not handled properly children will likely end up being the = silent carriers of that stress, resulting in behavioral or emotional proble= ms. Indeed, when children are kept in the dark about tough financial times = that are affecting their family, they have a tendency to exaggerate and ima= gine the worst. Like the uncertainty of your divorce, the impact of an unstable economy wil= l compromise your childrens' sense of security. Therefore, it is imperative= they know that both parents, the co-parenting team, is taking care of them= no matter what. The "we" message will not only minimize their fears, but k= eep them out of the middle of differences between you and your former spous= e.. The "we" message means you and your former spouse must put aside your d= ifferences, communicate, cooperate and compromise. According to Stanley Greenspan, M.D., Professor of Psychiatry and Pediatric= s, George Washington University, the best way to communicate to kids about = changing family finances varies by age. Toddler and preschool aged children= may see images on tv or hear things that scare them. Dr. Greenspan suggest= s reassuring them, for example, by explaining why you may be working later = hours. Children under the age of 11 tend to look at the world in black and = white, all or nothing ways. They need help with shades of grey; "Yes, we ha= ve to cut back in our spending, but it won't be forever." Preteens (11 to 1= 3 years of age) are cognizant of the news. Dr. Greenspan suggests giving th= em details, but in a realistic and positive way. Preteens like to help out = so you may reward them, for example, for remembering to turn the lights out= . Teens understand more and they may need reassurance that the future will = be better. You might encourage them to come up with different ideas about h= ow to cut back expenses. Create Stability by: Offering them reassurance and support. Reminding them they are not alone. Giving them extra time and attention. Listening closely to what they are sa= ying. Explaining and answering questions honestly. Working to improve their self-esteem. Reinforcing their strengths. Helping them to develop hope. Helping them visualize better times. Providing structure to their daily routines. Encouraging an environment of openness to the expression of their feelings. __________________________________________________________________ Deborah Hecker PhD Divorce Counseller Please visit my web site at www.drdeborahhecker.com where you can learn more about my counseling services for single dads= as well as watch a tv interview I did on divorce. [http://img.constantcontact.com/ui/images1/s.gif]All You Need is Love [http://origin.ih.constantcontact.com/fs007/1101938345415/img/622.jpg?a=3D= 1102470015080] Editor's Note: I don't know about you, but in the light of men's health iss= ues I think this is a powerful story. Times editor Dana Jennings writes eac= h week about his experiences coping with an aggressive form of prostate can= cer. Love in the Time of Prostate Cancer By Dana Jennings I vividly recall those first few hours in the hospital room after my prosta= te cancer surgery last July: the plastic thicket of I.V. tubes; the leg cuf= fs huffing and chuffing to ward off blood clots; my throbbing incision pack= ed with gauze. But, most important, I remember peering through the post-sur= gical haze to see my wife, Deb, sitting there, smiling at me. These days, I epitomize the 'in sickness' part of the wedding vows that Deb= and I took back in 1981. Since we learned last April that I have prostate = cancer, I've had my prostate removed, found out that the cancer was shockin= gly aggressive, undergone a 33-session course of radiation and am finishing= up hormone therapy. Right now, I'm not quite what you'd call 'a catch'. I wear man-pads for int= ermittent incontinence, I'm a bazaar of scars, and haven't had a full erect= ion in seven months. Most nights, I'm in bed by 10. The Lupron hormone shot= s, which suppress the testosterone that can fuel prostate cancer, have sent= my sex drive lower than the stock market, shrunken my testicles, and given= me hot flashes so fierce that I sweat outdoors when it's 20' Fahrenheit a= nd snowing. Even so, Deb has taught me that love is in the details. Humid professions o= f undying love and tear-stained sonnets are all well and good, but they can= 't compete with the earthy love of Deb helping me change and drain my cathe= ter pouches each day when I first came home from the hospital. Yes, in the details. She measured my urine, peered into places I couldn't (= literally and figuratively), and strategically and liberally applied baby p= owder, ice and Aquaphor to my raw and aching body. She battled our intracta= ble insurer, networked, tracked down the right doctors, and took thorough n= otes all the while. I was wounded. She protected me. She chose to do these things. Deb and I have been married for 27 years, have two sons (22 and 19), and ha= ve ridden the usual Ferris wheel that comes with a long marriage. But our l= ove for each other has deepened in this time of prostate cancer. We talk more often about the life we've built together, about sex and money= , about the joy we take in our sons, about the uncertain future. When cance= r moves in, there's nothing you and your spouse can't talk about. Our love has been seasoned with a bitter pinch of mortality, and the classi= c quarrels of marriage hold little power over us anymore. When I say to Deb= , "I love you," I mean it. And when she responds, "I love you more," she me= ans it, too. We understand that time, perhaps, is not on our side. Time, we are told, will give us our sex life back. As I said, the hormone s= hots have shut down my sex drive. And my poor penis is still in recovery, f= rom the surgery and the radiation. But as we wait, I'll tell you this: Love= abides. Yes, yes and yes - lust is essential. But right now, sex seems quaint, old-= fashioned. Oddly enough, it can't compete with the depth and gravity of a l= ight touch, a sly glance. I'm in the mood for the Beatles and 'I Want to Ho= ld Your Hand,' not Grace Jones growling, 'Pull up to my bumper, baby.' Don't get me wrong. I really, really like sex. But given a choice between t= he mere biology of lust and the deep soul of love, I'll take love. My body = has changed - but my doctors say my libido will be warming up again before = I know it. Deb understands, and we've adapted. Deb's love is one to live up to, one to reciprocate. Who else is going to s= nuggle up to me on the couch, smile, listen - and nod knowingly - as I comp= lain about my hot flashes? In the long shadow of prostate cancer, I've learned that I married the righ= t woman. Special Feature [http://img.constantcontact.com/ui/images1/s.gif] Other Winners[http://origin.ih.constantcontact.com/fs007/1101938345415/img/= 630.jpg?a=3D1102470015080] Dads4Kids Fatherhood Foundation Competition More Good Ideas Stuart Milne, Townsville QLD The Challenge I believe the greatest challenges facing Aussie kids today are: The lack of direction given from parents, The disintegration of the family unit, The error the world has made of straying from the traditional family unit t= hough economic circumstances in some cases and greed in others. The hedonistic world we live in today and the perceived need to keep up wit= h the Jones has destroyed the family and is doing so more and more on a dai= ly basis. Kids lack the guidance required from both parents in order to be = able to maintain their future relationships. The Solution A return to the teaching of traditional family values and education, beginn= ing when children are young. Teaching that marriage takes hard work and div= orce is a last resort, not a first one, would be a great start. Teach them = that happiness in the family is more important than money and worldly posse= ssions. Teach them to avoid the pitfalls of the hedonistic 'have it now pay= for it later' world we live in, and above all, teach them to value themsel= ves highly as humans. Leading by example is also a great way to start too! Show them the right way don't give them the example of do as I say not as I= do! The Fundraising Simple - hold a host of National Family Barbeques around the nation on a Sa= turday. Have them in parks and at beaches with organised activities and cel= ebrate families of all types, races creeds and religions. Have them set up = to embrace being a family unit. Three legged races fathers and daughters, f= athers and sons in sack races. Get them together just having fun, enjoying = each others time and company. Make them alcohol free, and everyone will enjoy themselves immensely. Set it up nationally on the same day in every location or major centre arou= nd the nation. I'm currently in the planning stage to do this and will be organising them = via a network of contacts and associates I have nationally. Fundraising cou= ld be done by way of donation (gold coin) at the events, in exchange for de= livery of information to the attendees. It gets the message out to everyone= and is quite easy and simple to deliver. Darryl Seip, Ipswich QLD The Challenge One of the greatest challenges for society is 'busyness'. Perhaps in an e= ffort to over compensate for lack of experiences in their own childhood, pa= rents today want to give their children a variety of opportunities. I am a= mazed at the number of social, sporting, cultural, academic and spiritual o= ptions available to a young generation. However herein lies the problem. In an attempt to give children as many choices as possible to enrich their = lives, family life suffers. Parents become chauffers. Meals are eaten on th= e run. The back seat of the car becomes the dinner table. Opportunities to= serve the community in other areas at this stage of life are reduced becau= se there is no time left. Children are given an amazing childhood. It's ju= st that family life is fragmented by children, mums and dads going in diffe= rent directions. I know. I'm one of those parents. The Solution Although this doesn't seem like a major problem, I believe that busyness ha= s the potential to disrupt family life. Children may reach teenage years a= nd be burnt out. Parents that want to enrich their children's life actually= sacrifice family time together and weaken their families. I propose - 'The Day Australia Took the Night Off'. I propose that we coordinate with sporting, singing, service, social groups= etc. in cities and towns and nominate a day and a night with no activity. Even though there may be a risk to a premiership, a performance or a presen= tation a greater goal would be to give families an opportunity to stay at h= ome. The Day Australia Took the Night Off would be a chance for families to slow= down and do things together as a family. Perhaps neighbourhoods or extend= ed families could come together. Perhaps those without close relatives cou= ld adopt a grandparent. The Fundraising I believe that many businesses would love to lend their name to a family fr= iendly night such as the one I am proposing. Companies could provide ideas= in the resource packs that go along with the night. For example food comp= anies could provide recipes for family meals that can be made and eaten tog= ether as a family. Board game makers could provide discounts or suggest dif= ferent games for different ages. Photo companies could provide ideas for sh= aring family memories. Those who are experts in family matters could write = ideas and short articles sponsored by companies willing to have their name = and logo on resources packs. We should start small. My local city, Ipswich, could participate in a pilot= program to begin with. Eventually, as the idea received support, many mor= e companies would get on board and families would love to participate in 'T= he Day Australia Took the Night Off'. News & Info [http://img.constantcontact.com/ui/images1/s.gif][http://origin.ih.constant= contact.com/fs007/1101938345415/img/625.jpg?a=3D1102470015080] Men's Health Inquiry Call for Submissions The Federal Senate has established a Select Committee on Men's Health to in= quire into general issues related to the availability and effectiveness of = education, supports and services for men's health. The Senate Select Commit= tee has extended the closing date for submissions' to the 13th March 2009. Many men in the movement have wondered why this inquiry is underway in the = light of the Labor Government's promise to institute a long awaited Nationa= l Mens' Heath Policy. Currently there are hearings for the same initiative = being held in several different states. The simple answer is this inquiry has come out of the Senate and is a Publi= c Inquiry with a transparent and open reporting to the Senate of its findin= gs, where as the current Labor Government process of consultations will ult= imately be decided upon by government bureaucrats behind closed doors. While hopeful of the ultimate policy recommendations we cannot be guarantee= d that the final policy will not be a based upon the" Male Deficit" governm= ental policy platform which has dominated government policy for the last 30= years. The Select Committee on Men's Health will inquire into general issues inclu= ding but not limited to: 1. level of Commonwealth, state and other funding addressing men's health, = particularly prostate cancer, testicular cancer, and depression, 2. adequacy of existing education and awareness campaigns regarding men's h= ealth for both men and the wider community, 3. prevailing attitudes of men towards their own health and sense of wellbe= ing and how these are affecting men's health in general, and 4. the extent, funding and adequacy for treatment services and general supp= ort programs for men's health in metropolitan, rural, regional and remote a= reas. The committee is to report by 30 May 2009. Submissions are due by the new c= losing date 13th March 2009. For information go to: http://www.aph.gov.au/S= enate/committee/menshealth_ctte/tor.htm or phone (02) 6277 3559 Men and Father's Health Fact Sheet Compiled by the Fatherhood Foundation, March 2008 =B7 Average life expectancy of men is 5 years and 10 months below wom= en (82 years for women and 77 years for men). =B7 The average life expectancy for Indigenous men in Australia is 56= years of age, 21 years less than other men. =B7 The Australian male mortality rate (the number of deaths from all= causes) is 146% of the female mortality rate. Overall, for every two women= that die, three men die. =B7 The death rate for men from injury is about 3 times the rate for = women as per NSW figures. =B7 Overall indigenous males die at 3.2 times the rate of non-indigen= ous men from injury - this includes motor vehicles, accidents, falls, homi= cides and suicides. =B7 Men die from ischemic heart diseases at 1.7 times the rate of wom= en. =B7 Men die from lung cancer at 2.3 times the rate of women. =B7 Men die from chronic lower respiratory diseases at 1.9 times the = rate of women. =B7 Men die from diabetes at 1.6 times the rate of women. =B7 Indigenous men die at 6.1 times the rate of non-indigenous men fr= om diabetes. =B7 Men commit suicide at 4 times the rate that women commit suicide. =B7 In 2005 1,657 men committed suicide whilst the Australian road to= ll was 1,636. =B7 Suicide for indigenous men is 70% higher than for non-indigenous = men. =B7 Rates of homicide for indigenous men are 7 to 8 as compared with = other non-indigenous men. =B7 Rates of expenditure on health care, in spite of the poor state o= f men's health is 34% higher on women than men. In 1993-94, 13.4 billion do= llars was spent on men's health care as opposed to 18 billion dollars on wo= men's health care (Mathers, Penm, Carter & Stevensen 1998). =B7 Death rates for men were greater than for women for: colon cancer= , influenza and pneumonia, blood vessel, heart and cerebrovascular diseases= . =B7 After the first year of life, boys nationally have a death rate 3= 5% higher than girls. In all areas of health status (death disability, hand= icap and illness) boys fare worse than girls (ages 0-12 years). =B7 Generally more boys than girls have mental health problems, inclu= ding conduct disorder, disruptive or anti-social behaviours. Young boys are= the predominant reported victims of physical violence, emotional abuse and= neglect from adults and carers. More men die annually from prostrate cancer than women die of breast cancer= . ___________________________________________ GOVT MESSAGE - PENSIONERS BETTER OFF DIVORCED THAN MARRIED The mooted $35 increase to the single aged pension sends a terrible message= to married pensioners - that they are better off financially if they divor= ce, Family First Leader Senator Steve Fielding said today. "The government has flagged it will increase the single aged pension but ha= s not said what it will do for the couples pension. "Does this discriminate against marriage? By just increasing the single pen= sion it sends a clear message that if you want more money in your pocket wh= en you're on a pension you shouldn't be married and I find that disappointi= ng. "Last year the Prime Minister, the deputy Prime Minister and the Treasurer = all admitted they could not survive on the existing pension. "Pensioners have been neglected by successive governments for too long. The= $35 will be a welcome bonus for Australia's many single aged pensioners bu= t I urge the government not to forget those many married pensioners also do= ing it tough. "I hope the Harmer Review recommends increases for all pensioners, whatever= pension they receive, and I encourage the government to provide Australian= pensioners with enough to live on to give them a reasonable quality of lif= e and the dignity they so deserve. Senator Fielding has been a long-term advocate for pensioners and in May he= lped organise the Pensioner Protest in Melbourne with pensioner advocate Sh= irley Grant that thrust the plight of the pensioners into the spotlight. The Harmer Review is due to be delivered to the government next week. For media enquiries phone Jo Robertson 0409 550 446 _____________________________________________ Government gets figures wrong on violence The NSW Government's Discussion Paper on the NSW Domestic and Family Violen= ce Strategic Framework has been criticised by a leading men's health organi= sation for overinflating statistics on domestic violence prevalence for fem= ale victims while at the same time understating the prevalence of male vict= imisation. In a letter to the Violence Prevention Coordination Unit, Greg Andresen fro= m Men's Health Australia writes that "Violence is an important issue impact= ing upon the health and wellbeing of our communities, and every effort shou= ld be made to reduce its incidence and impact. We believe that any approach= to reducing violence must be developed through robust debate based upon ac= curate representation of the best data available to us." He then details a = number of serious and misleading errors within the Discussion Paper. The Go= vernment's errors include: =B7 Falsely claiming that the majority of assaults experienced by women are= perpetrated by intimate male partners (the actual figure is 30 per cent) =B7 Falsely claiming that women who report violence in intimate relationshi= ps are significantly more likely than men to experience repeated acts of vi= olence (actually women and men reporting violence by previous partners in i= ntimate relationships experience repeated acts of violence at similar rates= ) =B7 Falsely claiming that males do not have prior experiences of violent re= lationships (actually 6 per cent of males and 17 per cent of females have p= rior experiences of violent relationships) =B7 Falsely claiming that males rarely experience post separation violence = (actually 367,300 Australian men have experienced previous partner violence= since the age of 15) =B7 Falsely claiming that, compared with male victims of domestic violence,= Canadian women are three times more likely to be injured as a result of vi= olence (actually similar percentages of female and male victims sustain inj= uries) =B7 Falsely claiming that, compared with male victims of domestic violence,= Canadian women are five times more likely to require medical attention or = hospitalisation (actually male victims of spousal violence are almost twice= as likely as female victims of spousal violence to suffer major assault) =B7 Falsely claiming that women are over five times more likely to be kille= d by an intimate partner than men (women are less than twice as likely to b= e killed by an intimate partner as men are). Men's Health Australia is calling upon the NSW Government to use the correc= t, readily available facts when addressing domestic violence. "We are surpr= ised and disappointed that the main government department dealing with dome= stic violence could be so misinformed about the reality of domestic violenc= e, and could mislead the public so profoundly," said Mr Andresen. "These misleading statistics could easily impact upon the funding and provi= sion of services to male domestic violence victims across NSW. Don't all vi= ctims of violence deserve assistance whether they are female or male? Domes= tic violence is a community issue, and community solutions are unlikely to = be effective if they are based on the Government's inaccuracies. Inflated a= nd misleading statistics only serve to create an unwarranted level of fear = and alarm within the community." Media contact: Greg Andresen | media@menshealthaustralia.net= | 0403 813 925 http://www.menshealthaustralia.net/files/MHA_Media_Release_20-2-09.pdf Dad's Prayer [http://img.constantcontact.com/ui/images1/s.gif] [http://origin.ih.constantcontact.com/fs007/1101938345415/img/623.jpg?a=3D1= 102470015080] Dear God Anatole France said: "it is by acts and not good ideas people live." Yet we need ideas on how to live so that we can act out our ideals. Give me your ideas so I can do more than just talk about them, but live them out because Anatole is right. "Actions speak louder than words." [http://origin.ih.constantcontact.com/fs007/1101938345415/img/624.jpg?a=3D1= 102470015080] Help Us! [http://img.constantcontact.com/ui/images1/s.gif]The Fatherhood Foundation = is a Harm Prevention Charity. Fatherlessness and inadequate fathering has been proven to be a source of h= arm. The Fatherhood Foundation helps children by promoting excellence in f= athering. Excellent fathers are in word and deed: responsible, involved, pr= otective, loving and committed to the well-being of their children and thei= r children's mother. If you would like to give financially to the Fatherhood Foundation Public F= und and receive tax deductibility: Fatherhood Foundation Public Fund (Name, address and amount details must be emailed for a receipt for tax ded= uctibility) Westpac Branch Wollongong DONATE ONLINE BSB: 032 695 A/C: 25-5558 Or mail cheque and address details to: PO Box 542 UNANDERRA NSW 2526 AUSTRALIA The Fatherhood Foundation Public Fund is a public fund listed on the Regis= ter of Harm Prevention Charities under Subdivision 30_EA of the Income Tax = Assessment Act 1997. You have received the fathersonline.org newsletter because you have subscri= bed, or you have been subscribed by a friend. If you do not wish to receiv= e future emails, please click the UNSUBSCRIBE button below. Forward email [http://img.constantcontact.com/letters/images/safe_unsubscribe_logo.gif] This email was sent to blane@uow.edu.au by info@fathersonline.org. Update Profile/Email Address | Instant removal with SafeUnsubscribe(tm) | Pri= vacy Policy. Email Marketing= by [http://img.constantcontact.com/letters/images/cc-logo-color-sm.gif] Fatherhood Foundation | P.O. Box 542 | Unanderra | NSW | 2526 | Australia --_000_1102470015080110193834541512118114172519scheduler_ Content-Type: text/html; charset="iso-8859-1" Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable
HTML Web Version Dads4Kids Newsletter
<= /tr>
=09
3D"Dads4Kids
=09
=09 =09 =09
 23rd February 2009      Inspiring Fathers Encouraging Families  Issue 340
 

 

 
=
Tipping Point
Dads4Kids
Dear Brian,
Welcome to the Fatherhood Foundation newsletter and email information = service for Fathers and Families as we present Tipping Point Dads4Kids
=09
In This Issue
Frontline...Dads4Kids..Tipping Point..The Australian Family L= andscape
Link...Good Idea
Laughter..Pass the peas
Grandfathers...Ideas won't Keep..do something
Single Dads...Good Co Parenting
All You Need is Love..Love through Prostrate Cancer
Special Feature...Dads4Kids Winners
News & Info..Men's Health Enquiry
Dad's Prayer..Actions speak louder than words
Next Week&nb= sp;

 Our Future Our Child= ren

 =09 =09
= Join our Mailing List!
 
Quick Links
 Thought of the Week
The best way to have a good idea
is to have lots of ideas= .
 
Linus Pauling
Frontline
=

3D"= 

Dads4Kids

has certainly made a mark on the Australian family la= ndscape. Matthew Hayden appeared on TV asking people to se= nd in their best ideas for helping Aussie kids and that is exactly what hap= pened. The Dads4Kids Competition was inundated with good ideas on how to be= st help Australia's children. Five hundred and seventy-five entries from yo= ung and old were received. Over 20 judges from 5 different states and many = walks of life worked hard to determine the winners in the final round.
 
This week Dads4Kids Fatherhood Foundation would like to highli= ght the adult winners of the competition so that you can get an insight int= o how many people are thinking about family out there because there was an = overwhelming consensus from all entries of 'let's get back to the basics'. = The media, and our overwhelming lust for more possessions at the expense of= family relationships came under sustained attack from all concerned. Other= themes raised were family breakdown, family communication, need for more m= ale role models, the importance of fathers, family values, the need for mor= e family based fun events, eating together as a family, healthy living, obe= sity, bullying in schools, listening to children, the need for more parenti= ng courses, the environment, better education and many other related issues= . Many times I was moved to tears as I read the heartfelt cries for action = from children who wanted their daddy back or other children were are being = preyed on by bullies.
 
Every entry was personally read and = there is now a lot of work ahead of the Fatherhood Foundation in order to p= ut the many great ideas into action. Below is one of our winners, Lyle Sims= from Gunnedah. Read what he had to say about how best to help Australia's = children. Further winning entries are found in our Special Feature.
  
The Challenge
The greatest= challenges facing Australian Children today are threefold:
A need fo= r family relationships,
A need for respect and honour for whom respec= t and honour is due,
A galvanising of the gender differences.
&= nbsp;
Why? because so many Australian children  today are cut adr= ift from support structures, role modelling, and acceptances of  child= ren's and young people significance and place in our communities.  TV,= SMS and peers have become their parents, teachers and family.  They a= re drenched with a culture of self satisfying, self seeking, from the self = absorbed media, so that healthy attitudes to life and their place in life a= re often stunted and stifled. Our young peoples are the future of our natio= n. As they go so goes the nation.  Our future is in their hands, their= future is in ours.
 
The Solution
The best way to help Aussie children through these challenges is to p= roactively involve ourselves in children's lives.  All around them man= y children are being sold the message that the way to be a winner is to dis= connect from parents, community and God.  We need to spend time with c= hildren, see the world from their point  of view, not exclusively of c= ourse, but enough so that we can see the problems and  challenges that= they face. We need to then put our hands back on the wheel of where the fa= mily is going.  Children need guidelines. Children need boundaries wit= hin which to exercise freedom of choice.  Family relationships, even c= omposite families, have a chance to provide this, if we are willing to try.=   Allow TV and SMS, but set time limits.  Allow only one family T= V in the house.  Talk about the values (positive or negative) that tho= se who produced the programs were trying to convey.  Be involved. = ; Teach the proper place of respect for whom respect is due.  Begin wi= th God.
 
The Fundraising
Sin= ce the problems are systemic both in society and in the media's attitudes, = a way forward would be to target both.  First write to the top 500 wea= lthiest fathers & grandfathers in Australia asking if they would be willing= to contribute 1% of their personal wealth to a trust to fund the promotion= of family values through the media.   This would be called the '= 1 from 500' group, with these funds address the challenges as outlined abov= e through the media.  Additionally create an annual award to be given = to given (possibly at the Logies) to the best free to air channel who promo= tes family values (free of charge). Investigate if community announcements = like 'kidsafe' are currently screened free of charge.
 
Lovework
&= nbsp;
This is one of those times that we ask for your help. You could = help us implement Lyle's idea. Maybe you know one of the 500 wealthiest fat= hers or grandfathers in Australia. Maybe you could approach him on our beha= lf. We are happy to meet with possible contributors to ask for their help i= n promoting family values if you can arrange an appointment. The dream of t= he Fatherhood Foundation is to become a key part of the tipping point for p= ositive change for the children of Australia. Together we can make a differ= ence.
 
Yours for our children
Warwick Marsh
 = ;
PS The Senate is holding an Inquiry into Men's Health. We were onl= y notified of this last week.
 
It is critical that as many= submissions as possible are made to this independent inquiry. The Dads4Kid= s Fatherhood Foundation has gained an extension of time beyond the closing = date of 27th February 2009.
 
Let me encourage you to get yo= ur own submission together: 2 lines, 2 paragraphs or 2 pages ASAP. This is = a golden opportunity to let your voice be heard. See News & Info.
 
PS2 The All You Need is Love Story is a must= read for every man in Australia. Read it if you dare.
_______________= _____________________________________________________

Warwick Ma= rsh  has been married to Alison for 33 years. He is the= grandfather of two children and father of five children, four boys and one= girl, ranging in age from 28 years to 16 years.  Warwick is a mu= sician, songwriter, producer and public speaker who likes to think he can s= till laugh at himself.
Link of the Week
Laughter
= =
3D"Old
 
An 80 year old woman was arrested for shop lifting.
When she went= before the magistrate in Parramatta  he asked her,
"What di= d you steal?"She replied, "A can of peaches."

The judge then ask= ed her why she had stolen the can of peaches
and she replied that she = was hungry.The judge then asked her
how many peaches were in the can. = She replied 6.

The judge then said, "I will then give you 6 days= in jail."

Before the judge could actually pronounce the punishm= ent, the
woman's husband spoke up and asked the judge if he could say<= br />something.The judge said, "What is it?"

The husband said, "= She also stole a can of peas."


<= /td>
Grandfathers
 
3D"ManLightBulb" 
The vitality of thought is an adventure.
Ideas won't keep= .
Something must be done about them.
 
Alfred North Whitehead
 

Single Dads
THE KEY TO DIVORCED PARENTS HELPING THEIR CHI= LDREN THROUGH ECONOMICALLY STRESSFUL TIMES: WORK TOGETHER
by Deborah Hecker PhD3D"Co

A Few Basics About Good Co-parenti= ng
Before a discussion about how to communicate to yo= ur child/children about the financial turmoil your family may be going thro= ugh, there are a few essential points that must be made:

Co-par= enting after a divorce is a very difficult job. Never underestimate the amo= unt of effort it takes to establish a relationship that works. A commitment= to the co-parenting relationship is especially important when helping your= child through stressful circumstances, such as a change in family finances= .

If you are a divorced co-parent, please remember that both yo= u and your former spouse are mutually responsible for creating the foundati= on upon which your child/children are building their self. Raising healthy = children is a team sport which requires the active contribution and collabo= ration of both parents.
Successful co-parenting depends on the abilit= y of two people to successfully resolve their conflicts. It does not mean t= hey must trust one another or agree on all matters related to the children.= However, like any good business relationship, each partner must value and = respect the other and must be receptive to their opinions. A good co-parent= is someone who compromises.
Successful co-parents try their best to = keep their children's interests first and foremost.

How= To Communicate Your Changing Financial Circumstances To Your Children=20
 

Consider the following scenario; Your spous= e gets laid off. You are not receiving your monthly child support payments.= The household bills are mounting. You feel guilty that you cannot afford t= o give your child the extras, perhaps even the necessities. You try to cove= r up your anxiety and anger but your child sees through your efforts. Now w= hat?

No matter how much you try to shield your children from th= e nation's worsening financial picture, more than likely they have, at leas= t, an inkling of the hardships everyone is facing. The research shows that = if family financial setbacks are not handled properly children will likely = end up being the silent carriers of that stress, resulting in behavioral or= emotional problems. Indeed, when children are kept in the dark about tough= financial times that are affecting their family, they have a tendency to e= xaggerate and imagine the worst.

Like the uncertainty of your d= ivorce, the impact of an unstable economy will compromise your childrens' s= ense of security. Therefore, it is imperative they know that both parents, = the co-parenting team, is taking care of them no matter what. The "we" mess= age will not only minimize their fears, but keep them out of the middle of = differences between you and your former spouse.. The "we" message means you= and your former spouse must put aside your differences, communicate, coope= rate and compromise.

According to Stanley Greenspan, M.D., Prof= essor of Psychiatry and Pediatrics, George Washington University, the best = way to communicate to kids about changing family finances varies by age. To= ddler and preschool aged children may see images on tv or hear things that = scare them. Dr. Greenspan suggests reassuring them, for example, by explain= ing why you may be working later hours. Children under the age of 11 tend t= o look at the world in black and white, all or nothing ways. They need help= with shades of grey; "Yes, we have to cut back in our spending, but it won= 't be forever." Preteens (11 to 13 years of age) are cognizant of the news.= Dr. Greenspan suggests giving them details, but in a realistic and positiv= e way. Preteens like to help out so you may reward them, for example, for r= emembering to turn the lights out. Teens understand more and they may need = reassurance that the future will be better. You might encourage them to com= e up with different ideas about how to cut back expenses.

Create Stability by:
Offering them reassurance and support. Reminding them they are not alo= ne.
Giving them extra time and attention. Listening closely to what they a= re saying.
Explaining and answering questions honestly.
Working to improve their self-esteem. Reinforcing their strengths.
Helping them to develop hope. Helping them visualize better times.
Providing structure to their daily routines.
Encouraging an environment of openness to the expression of their feel= ings.
 
__________________________________________________________________
Deborah Hecker PhD Divorce Counseller
Please visit my web site at www.drdeborahhecker.com  where you can learn more a= bout my counseling services for single dads as well as watch a tv interview= I did on divorce. 
=09
3D"AlluNeed"All You Need is Love
 3D"Couple
Editor's Note: I don= 't know about you, but in the light of men's health issues I think this is = a powerful story. Times editor Dana Jennings writes each week about his exp= eriences coping with an aggressive form of prostate cancer.
 
Love in the Time of Prostate Cancer
= By Dana Jennings
 
I vividly recall those first few= hours in the hospital room after my prostate cancer surgery last July: the= plastic thicket of I.V. tubes; the leg cuffs huffing and chuffing to ward = off blood clots; my throbbing incision packed with gauze. But, most importa= nt, I remember peering through the post-surgical haze to see my wife, Deb, = sitting there, smiling at me.
 
These days, I epitomize the = 'in sickness' part of the wedding vows that Deb and I took back in 1981. Si= nce we learned last April that I have prostate cancer, I've had my prostate= removed, found out that the cancer was shockingly aggressive, undergone a = 33-session course of radiation and am finishing up hormone therapy.
&n= bsp;
Right now, I'm not quite what you'd call 'a catch'. I wear man-pa= ds for intermittent incontinence, I'm a bazaar of scars, and haven't had a = full erection in seven months. Most nights, I'm in bed by 10. The Lupron ho= rmone shots, which suppress the testosterone that can fuel prostate cancer,= have sent my sex drive lower than the stock market, shrunken my testicles,= and given me hot flashes so fierce that I sweat outdoors when it's 20' Fah= renheit  and snowing.
 
Even so, Deb has taught me that= love is in the details. Humid professions of undying love and tear-stained= sonnets are all well and good, but they can't compete with the earthy love= of Deb helping me change and drain my catheter pouches each day when I fir= st came home from the hospital.
 
Yes, in the details. She m= easured my urine, peered into places I couldn't (literally and figuratively= ), and strategically and liberally applied baby powder, ice and Aquaphor to= my raw and aching body. She battled our intractable insurer, networked, tr= acked down the right doctors, and took thorough notes all the while.
&= nbsp;
I was wounded. She protected me. She chose to do these things. 
Deb and I have been married for 27 years, have two sons (22= and 19), and have ridden the usual Ferris wheel that comes with a long mar= riage. But our love for each other has deepened in this time of prostate ca= ncer.
 
We talk more often about the life we've built togeth= er, about sex and money, about the joy we take in our sons, about the uncer= tain future. When cancer moves in, there's nothing you and your spouse can'= t talk about.
 
Our love has been seasoned with a bitter pin= ch of mortality, and the classic quarrels of marriage hold little power ove= r us anymore. When I say to Deb, "I love you," I mean it. And when she resp= onds, "I love you more," she means it, too. We understand that time, perhap= s, is not on our side.
 
Time, we are told, will give us our= sex life back. As I said, the hormone shots have shut down my sex drive. A= nd my poor penis is still in recovery, from the surgery and the radiation. = But as we wait, I'll tell you this: Love abides.
 
Yes, yes = and yes - lust is essential. But right now, sex seems quaint, old-fashioned= . Oddly enough, it can't compete with the depth and gravity of a light touc= h, a sly glance. I'm in the mood for the Beatles and 'I Want to Hold Your H= and,' not Grace Jones growling, 'Pull up to my bumper, baby.'
 Don't get me wrong. I really, really like sex. But given a choice betwe= en the mere biology of lust and the deep soul of love, I'll take love. My b= ody has changed - but my doctors say my libido will be warming up again bef= ore I know it. Deb understands, and we've adapted.
 
Deb's l= ove is one to live up to, one to reciprocate. Who else is going to snuggle = up to me on the couch, smile, listen - and nod knowingly - as I complain ab= out my hot flashes?
 
In the long shadow of prostate cancer,= I've learned that I married the right woman.

Special Feature

 3D= 
Other Winners3D"Father
Dads4Kids Fatherhood Foundation Competition
&nbs= p;
More Good Ideas
 
Stuart Milne, Townsville QLD<= br />The Challenge
I believe the greatest challenges facing A= ussie kids today are:
The lack of direction given from parents,
The disintegration of the family unit,
The error the world has made o= f straying from the traditional family unit though economic circumstances i= n some cases and greed in others.
 
The hedonistic world we= live in today and the perceived need to keep up with the Jones has destroy= ed the family and is doing so more and more on a daily basis. Kids lack the= guidance required from both parents in order to be able to maintain their = future relationships.
 
The Solution
A= return to the teaching of traditional family values and education, beginni= ng when children are young. Teaching that marriage takes hard work and divo= rce is a last resort, not a first one, would be a great start. Teach them t= hat happiness in the family is more important than money and worldly posses= sions. Teach them to avoid the pitfalls of the hedonistic 'have it now pay = for it later' world we live in, and above all, teach them to value themselv= es highly as humans.
 
Leading by example is also a great w= ay to start too!
Show them the right way don't give them the example = of do as I say not as I do!
 
The Fundraising
Simple - hold a host of National Family Barbeques around the nation= on a Saturday. Have them in parks and at beaches with organised activities= and celebrate families of all types, races creeds and religions. Have them= set up to embrace being a family unit. Three legged races fathers and daug= hters, fathers and sons in sack races. Get them together just having fun, e= njoying each others time and company.
Make them alcohol free, and eve= ryone will enjoy themselves immensely.  
Set it up nationally on = the same day in every location or major centre around the nation.   
I'm currently in the planning stage to do this and will be o= rganising them via a network of contacts and associates I have nationally. = Fundraising could be done by way of donation (gold coin) at the events, in = exchange for delivery of information to the attendees. It gets the message = out to everyone and is quite easy and simple to deliver.
 
<= strong>Darryl Seip, Ipswich QLD
The Challenge
One of the= greatest challenges for society is 'busyness'.   Perhaps in an e= ffort to over compensate for lack of experiences in their own childhood, pa= rents today want to give their children a variety of opportunities.  I= am amazed at the number of social, sporting, cultural, academic and spirit= ual options available to a young generation.
 
However here= in lies the problem. 
In an attempt to give children as many cho= ices as possible to enrich their lives, family life suffers. Parents become= chauffers. Meals are eaten on the run. The back seat of the car becomes th= e dinner table.  Opportunities to serve the community in other areas a= t this stage of life are reduced because there is no time left. Children ar= e given an amazing childhood.  It's just that family life is fragmente= d by children, mums and dads going in different directions. I know. I'm one= of those parents.
 
The Solution
Alth= ough this doesn't seem like a major problem, I believe that busyness has th= e potential to disrupt family life.  Children may reach teenage years = and be burnt out. Parents that want to enrich their children's life actuall= y sacrifice family time together and weaken their families.
 I propose - 'The Day Australia Took the Night Off'.
I propose that= we coordinate with sporting, singing, service, social groups etc. in citie= s and towns and nominate a day and a night with no activity.   Even though there may be a risk to a premiership, a performance or a pr= esentation a greater goal would be to give families an opportunity to stay = at home.
The Day Australia Took the Night Off would be a chance for f= amilies to slow down and do things together as a family.  Perhaps neig= hbourhoods or extended families could come together.  Perhaps those wi= thout close relatives could adopt a grandparent.
 
= The Fundraising
I believe that many businesses would love to = lend their name to a family friendly night such as the one I am proposing.&= nbsp; Companies could provide ideas in the resource packs that go along wit= h the night.  For example food companies could provide recipes for fam= ily meals that can be made and eaten together as a family. Board game maker= s could provide discounts or suggest different games for different ages. Ph= oto companies could provide ideas for sharing family memories. Those who ar= e experts in family matters could write ideas and short articles sponsored = by companies willing to have their name and logo on resources packs.
=  
We should start small. My local city, Ipswich, could participat= e in a pilot program to begin with.  Eventually, as the idea received = support, many more companies would get on board and families would love to = participate in 'The Day Australia Took the Night Off'.  
 
News & Info
=
 
3D"NewsInfo"3D"healthy
 
=
Men's Health Inquiry
C= all for Submissions
The Federal Senate has established= a Select Committee on Men's Health to inquire into general issues related = to the availability and effectiveness of education, supports and services f= or men's health. The Senate Select Committee has extended the closi= ng date for submissions' to the 13th March 2009.

Many men in the movement have wondered why this inquiry is under= way in the light of the Labor Government's promise to institute a long awai= ted National Mens' Heath Policy. Currently there are hearings for the same = initiative being held in several different states.

The simple an= swer is this inquiry has come out of the Senate and is a Public Inquiry wit= h a transparent and open reporting to the Senate of its findings, where as = the current Labor Government process of consultations will ultimately be de= cided upon by government bureaucrats behind closed doors.

While= hopeful of the ultimate policy recommendations we cannot be guaranteed tha= t the final policy will not be a based upon the" Male Deficit" gove= rnmental policy platform which has dominated government policy for the last= 30 years.

The Select Committee on Men's Health will in= quire into general issues including but not limited to:

1. level of Commonwealth, state and other funding a= ddressing men's health, particularly prostate cancer, testicular cancer, an= d depression,

2. adequacy of existing education and awareness cam= paigns regarding men's health for both men and the wider community,

3. prevailing attitudes of men towards their own he= alth and sense of wellbeing and how these are affecting men's health in gen= eral, and

4. the extent, funding and adequacy for treatment s= ervices and general support programs for men's health in metropolitan, rura= l, regional and remote areas.

The committee is to report by 30 May 2009. Subm= issions are due by the new closing date 13th March= 2009. For information go to: http://= www.aph.gov.au/Senate/committee/menshealth_ctte/tor.htm
or phone = (02) 6277 3559

Men and Father's Heal= th Fact Sheet
Compiled by the Fatherhood Foundation, M= arch 2008

=B7       Average life expectancy = of men is 5 years and 10 months below women (82 years for women and 77 year= s for men).
=B7       The average life e= xpectancy for Indigenous men in Australia is 56 years of age, 21 years less= than other men.
=B7       The Australia= n male mortality rate (the number of deaths from all causes) is 146% of the= female mortality rate. Overall, for every two women that die, three men di= e.
=B7       The death rate for men from= injury is about 3 times the rate for women as per NSW figures.
=B7&nb= sp;      Overall indigenous males die at 3.2 times= the rate of non-indigenous men  from injury - this includes motor veh= icles, accidents, falls, homicides and     suicides.=B7       Men die from ischemic heart dise= ases at 1.7 times the rate of women.
=B7     =   Men die from lung cancer at 2.3 times the rate of women.
=B7&nb= sp;      Men die from chronic lower respiratory di= seases at 1.9 times the rate of women.
=B7    &nbs= p;  Men die from diabetes at 1.6 times the rate of women.
=B7&nbs= p;      Indigenous men die at 6.1 times the rate o= f non-indigenous men from diabetes.
=B7     &= nbsp; Men commit suicide at 4 times the rate that women commit suicide.
=B7       In 2005 1,657 men committed suici= de whilst the Australian road toll was 1,636.
=B7   &nb= sp;   Suicide for indigenous men is 70% higher than for non-indig= enous men.
=B7       Rates of homicide f= or indigenous men are 7 to 8 as compared with other non-indigenous men.
=B7       Rates of expenditure on health ca= re, in spite of the poor state of men's health is 34% higher on women than = men. In 1993-94, 13.4 billion dollars was spent on men's health care as opp= osed to 18 billion dollars on women's health care (Mathers, Penm, Carter & = Stevensen 1998).
=B7       Death rates f= or men were greater than for women for: colon cancer, influenza and pneumon= ia, blood vessel, heart and cerebrovascular diseases.
=B7  =      After the first year of life, boys nationally have= a death rate 35% higher than girls. In all areas of health status (death d= isability, handicap and illness) boys fare worse than girls (ages 0-12 year= s).
=B7       Generally more boys than g= irls have mental health problems, including conduct disorder, disruptive or= anti-social behaviours. Young boys are the predominant reported victims of= physical violence, emotional abuse and neglect from adults and carers.
More men die annually from prostrate cancer than women die of breast canc= er.   
 
___________________________________________
 
GOVT MESSAGE - PENSIONERS BETTER OFF DIVORCED= THAN MARRIED

The mooted $35 increase to the si= ngle aged pension sends a terrible message to married pensioners - that the= y are better off financially if they divorce, Family First Leader Senator S= teve Fielding said today.

"The government has flagged it will i= ncrease the single aged pension but has not said what it will do for the co= uples pension.

"Does this discriminate against marriage? By jus= t increasing the single pension it sends a clear message that if you want m= ore money in your pocket when you're on a pension you shouldn't be married = and I find that disappointing.

"Last year the Prime Minister, t= he deputy Prime Minister and the Treasurer all admitted they could not surv= ive on the existing pension.

"Pensioners have been neglected by= successive governments for too long. The $35 will be a welcome bonus for A= ustralia's many single aged pensioners but I urge the government not to for= get those many married pensioners also doing it tough.

"I hope = the Harmer Review recommends increases for all pensioners, whatever pension= they receive, and I encourage the government to provide Australian pension= ers with enough to live on to give them a reasonable quality of life and th= e dignity they so deserve.

Senator Fielding has been a long-ter= m advocate for pensioners and in May helped organise the Pensioner Protest = in Melbourne with pensioner advocate Shirley Grant that thrust the plight o= f the pensioners into the spotlight.

The Harmer Review is due t= o be delivered to the government next week.

For media enquiries= phone Jo Robertson 0409 550 446
 
_____________________________________________
Government gets figures wrong on violence=20

The NSW Government's Discussion Paper on = the NSW Domestic and Family Violence Strategic Framework has been crit= icised by a leading men's health organisation for overinflating statistics = on domestic violence prevalence for female victims while at the same time u= nderstating the prevalence of male victimisation.
In a letter&nbs= p;to the Violence Prevention Coordination Unit, Greg Andresen from Men's He= alth Australia writes that "Violence is an important issue impacting upon t= he health and wellbeing of our communities, and every effort should be made= to reduce its incidence and impact. We believe that any approach to reduci= ng violence must be developed through robust debate based upon accurate rep= resentation of the best data available to us." He then details a number of = serious and misleading errors within the Discussion Paper. The Government's= errors include:
=B7 Falsely claiming that the majority of assaults ex= perienced by women are perpetrated by intimate male partners (the actual fi= gure is 30 per cent)
=B7 Falsely claiming that women who report violen= ce in intimate relationships are significantly more likely than men to expe= rience repeated acts of violence (actually women and men reporting violence= by previous partners in intimate relationships experience repeated acts of= violence at similar rates)
=B7 Falsely claiming that males do not hav= e prior experiences of violent relationships (actually 6 per cent of males = and 17 per cent of females have prior experiences of violent relationships)=
=B7 Falsely claiming that males rarely experience post separation vio= lence (actually 367,300 Australian men have experienced previous partner vi= olence since the age of 15)
=B7 Falsely claiming that, compared with m= ale victims of domestic violence, Canadian women are three times more likel= y to be injured as a result of violence (actually similar percentages of fe= male and male victims sustain injuries)
=B7 Falsely claiming that, com= pared with male victims of domestic violence, Canadian women are five times= more likely to require medical attention or hospitalisation (actually male= victims of spousal violence are almost twice as likely as female victims o= f spousal violence to suffer major assault)
=B7 Falsely claiming that = women are over five times more likely to be killed by an intimate partner t= han men (women are less than twice as likely to be killed by an intimate pa= rtner as men are).
Men's Health Australia is calling upon the NSW Gove= rnment to use the correct, readily available facts when addressing domestic= violence. "We are surprised and disappointed that the main government depa= rtment dealing with domestic violence could be so misinformed about the rea= lity of domestic violence, and could mislead the public so profoundly," sai= d Mr Andresen.
"These misleading statistics could easily impact upon t= he funding and provision of services to male domestic violence victims acro= ss NSW. Don't all victims of violence deserve assistance whether they are f= emale or male? Domestic violence is a community issue, and community soluti= ons are unlikely to be effective if they are based on the Government's inac= curacies. Inflated and misleading statistics only serve to create an unwarr= anted level of fear and alarm within the community."

Media contact:        Greg An= dresen      |    media@menshealthaustralia.= net        |    0403 813 9= 25
http://www.menshealthaust= ralia.net/files/MHA_Media_Release_20-2-09.pdf

<= /div>

Dad's Prayer

3D"DadsPraye= 
3D"Anatole=
 Dear God
 
Anatole France said:
"it is by ac= ts and not good ideas people live."
Yet we need ideas on how to liveso that we can act out our ideals.
Give me your ideas
so I ca= n do more than just talk about them,
but live them out
because = Anatole is right.
"Actions speak louder than words."
3D"Megaphone=
=09 =09
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