Received: from beru.its.uow.edu.au (130.130.68.31) by staffmail.uow.edu.au (10.5.102.13) with Microsoft SMTP Server id 8.1.336.0; Sun, 18 Jan 2009 09:46:30 +1100 Received: from febris-nat.its.uow.edu.au ([130.130.68.210] helo=febris.its.uow.edu.au) by beru.its.uow.edu.au with esmtp (Exim 4.69) (envelope-from ) id 1LOJvx-0001FJ-O4 for blane@uow.edu.au; Sun, 18 Jan 2009 09:46:29 +1100 Received: from c3.confirmedcc.com (c3.confirmedcc.com [64.95.77.164]) by febris.its.uow.edu.au (MOS 3.10.3-GA) with ESMTP id QKM58532; Sun, 18 Jan 2009 09:46:25 +1100 (EST) Received: from p2-ws508.ad.prodcc.net (unknown [10.252.0.101]) by c3.confirmedcc.com (Postfix) with ESMTP id E34AB34E8E15 for ; Sat, 17 Jan 2009 17:30:42 -0500 (EST) From: Fatherhood Foundation To: Brian Lane Date: Sun, 18 Jan 2009 09:32:29 +1100 Subject: Matthew Hayden: Great Cricketer-Great Dad Thread-Topic: Matthew Hayden: Great Cricketer-Great Dad Thread-Index: Acl49XAznYLBB7EOSvWyvbt7hVRJ9A== Message-ID: <1102414161273.1101938345415.1211.8.113173019@scheduler> List-Unsubscribe: http://visitor.constantcontact.com/d.jsp?p=un&v=001jm8CFGIzLJHYg-gJRLc-3d90mBLDU8ykVH0jnmHZiA8JvzvxmOR8SQ== Reply-To: "info@fathersonline.org" Accept-Language: en-AU, en-US Content-Language: en-US X-MS-Exchange-Organization-AuthAs: Anonymous X-MS-Exchange-Organization-AuthSource: excasht01.ad.uow.edu.au X-MS-Has-Attach: X-MS-TNEF-Correlator: x-junkmail-status: score=10/49, host=febris.its.uow.edu.au x-junkmail-sd-raw: score=unknown, refid=str=0001.0A150205.49725FC5.0031:SCFMA772204,ss=1,fgs=0, ip=64.95.77.164, so=2008-09-22 23:22:13, dmn=5.4.3/2007-10-18, mode=single engine x-junkmail-iwf: false x-return-path-hint: ESC1102414161273_1101938345415_1211@in.confirmedcc.com x-roving-id: 1101938345415.1211 x-lumos-senderid: 1101938345415 x-roving-campaignid: 1102414161273 x-roving-streamid: 0 Content-Type: multipart/alternative; boundary="_000_1102414161273110193834541512118113173019scheduler_" MIME-Version: 1.0 --_000_1102414161273110193834541512118113173019scheduler_ Content-Type: text/plain; charset="iso-8859-1" Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable [http://origin.ih.constantcontact.com/fs007/1101938345415/img/526.gif?a=3D1= 102414161273] 19th January 2009 Inspiring Fathers Encouraging Families Issue 335 [http://img.constantcontact.com/ui/stock1/3m9q9k8q.jpg] Matthew Hayden Great Cricketer Great Dad Dear Brian, Welcome to the Fatherhood Foundation newsletter and email information servi= ce for Fathers and Families as we present Matthew Hayden: Great Cricketer-G= reat Dad. In This Issue Frontline...Tribute to Matthew Hayden Link...Video Tribute Laughter..Holy Humour Grandfathers...Fathering Rewards Single Dads...The Book for Single Fathers All You Need is Love..Good can come from Arguing Special Feature...Interview with Matthew Hayden News & Info..Smacking ?? Dad's Prayer..Help me to know the time Next Week The 80/20 Principle [http://img.constantcontact.com/ui/images1/s.gif] Join our Mailing List! [http://img.constantcontact.com/ui/images1/ftf_btn_1.gif] Quick Links Fatherhood Foundation Dads in Distress Focus on the Family National Center for Fathering Families for Life Pathways Foundation Marriage and Family - ACL Dads on the Air Equal Parenting Party CSA Adverts Thought of the Week [http://img.constantcontact.com/ui/images1/s.gif] [http://origin.ih.constantcontact.com/fs007/1101938345415/img/578.jpg?a=3D1= 102414161273] Darling I think I've had enough. I want to be here (with you). Matthew Hayden - while picking tomatoes with his six year old daughter. Frontline [http://origin.ih.constantcontact.com/fs007/1101938345415/img/577.jpg?a=3D1= 102414161273] The Australian tribute feature by Mike Coward was titled 'The = hard edge of faith'. The subtitle told the story: 'Matthew Hayden's calm ye= t powerful approach reaped extraordinary rewards on the cricket field'. It was hard not to be moved by Matthew Hayden's announcement of his retirem= ent from test cricket this week. His 15 year career had more than its fair = share of ups and downs but Coward, one of the world cricket's most famous r= eporters, tells the story well. In defiance of his imposing physical presence, natural aggression and an un= abashed love of the male kingdom that is the Australian cricket dressing-ro= om, Matthew Hayden has generally exuded calmness. While this redoubtable cricket player retired yesterday as statistically Au= stralia's greatest opening batsman he is predominantly a spiritual characte= r drawn to the greater forces through his love of the sea. . . While Australian cricket was blessed with some of its greatest players thro= ughout the late 1990s and 2000s it was Hayden and Langer who so often metic= ulously constructed the foundations on which so much such success was built= . . . Filled with an unwavering self-belief that he could make a difference in th= e rarefied Test match arena he proceeded to score 1000 or more Test runs in= five consecutive years from 2001. He won a swag of Australian and internat= ional awards, including the Allan Border Medal in 2002. He won widespread a= cclaim when he amassed a score of 380 against Zimbabwe at the WACA ground i= n Perth in October 2003. . . He was twice in World Cup-winning teams, and at the 2007 event in the West = Indies scored the fastest century in World Cup history. Hayden became only = the third person to score three centuries at one tournament. For good measu= re in 2007 he led the tournament scorers at the inaugural World Twenty20 in= South Africa with 265 runs at a strike rate of 144.80 per 100 balls. Once he entered the consciousness of the international cricket community in= 2001 he never left it. His physical and verbal aggression polarised some o= pponents and spectators. Some opponents thought that given his quick and often acerbic tongue it was= hypocritical for him to so elaborately cross himself after scoring a centu= ry. Away from the middle he can exude stillness, and he has always had an un-se= lfconscious faith in his God, even stronger than the faith in his ability t= o make a difference in test cricket. "I've always had a faith, I never try and hide that," he said at the time t= he Hindu gods shone so generously upon him. "Everyone knows I am a religiou= s person. "And I just think it is appropriate at one of the highest moments in your l= ife that you make a mark of respect like that. . . Like Langer and his contemporaries who have left the game, Hayden will be a= ble to spend precious time with his wife, Kellie, and their three children,= and lend his name to causes dear to his heart. Dads4Kids Fatherhood Foundation is privileged that Matthew Hayden agreed to= front our Father's Day promotional competition www.dads4kids.org.au on national TV. His interview is a must see - we have printed it again as Special Feature should you = not be able to view the link at the Dads4Kids website. I flew to visit Matt= hew Hayden at his home in order to do the interview and help produce the co= mmunity service adverts. I was immediately impressed with Matt's closeness = to his children and his love for his wife, Kellie. You can fool some of the= people some of the time, but you can't fool your wife and children at any = time. When it came time to film Matthew on the trampoline with his kids, you could tell by the interaction = that this was not something they were doing for the TV cameras but was just= a part of everyday life for Gracie, Joshua and Thomas. Dad loves to play w= ith them and they just love to play with Dad. Matthew Hayden's final decision to retire from the game of cricket was made= with his six year old daughter Grace while picking tomatoes in the backyar= d. Matthew said to Grace, "Darling. I think I've had enough. I want to be h= ere." When you have seen Matthew in action, with his kids, up close and personal,= you know it's not spin but the reality of a man who is as fiercely committ= ed to his family as his cricket. Mike Coward's article also reveals another= side of Matthew Hayden that is not always understood, that he is also a de= eply committed man of faith. A true man in every sense of the word. Lovework Check out the interview and catch a bit of Matt= hew Hayden's commitment to his family. It truly is contagious and inspiring= all at the same time. Matthew - keep being an inspiration to fathers and f= amilies everywhere. The Dads4Kids Fatherhood Foundation salutes you, as do our readers. Yours for more inspiration Warwick Marsh PS: 'A Father's Love' was advertised as this week's heading and although a = misprint (we used it already) it is still an appropriate sub-title for a tr= ibute to one of the greatest dads in Australian sport. Matthew Hayden took = his children almost everywhere he travelled. He redefined how to integrate = family as a professional sportsman. If you have any words of encouragement for Matthew, do send them to us at i= nfo@fatherhood.org.au and we will pass them= on. We do hope that Matthew will consider an invitation to award the prize= s to the winners of the Dads4Kids Competition. Your letters just may encour= age him to do so. ____________________________________________________________________ Warwick Marsh has been married to Alison for 33 years. He is the grandfath= er of two children and father of five children, four boys and one girl, ran= ging in age from 28 years to 16 years. Warwick is a musician, songwriter, = producer and public speaker who likes to think he can still laugh at himsel= f. Link of the Week A Tribute to Matthew Hayden Matthew Hayden Retires Laughter [http://origin.ih.constantcontact.com/fs007/1101938345415/img/579.jpg?a=3D1= 102414161273] A minister parked his car in a no parking zone in a large city because he = was short of time and couldn't find a space with a meter. Then he put a note under the windshield wiper that read: 'I have circled th= e block 10 times. If I don't park here, I'll miss my appointment. Forgive u= s our trespasses' When he returned, he found a citation from a police officer along with this= note 'I've circled this block for 10 years. If I don't give you a ticket I= 'll lose my job. Lead us not into temptation.' ____________________ The minister was preoccupied with thoughts of how he was going to ask the c= ongregation to come up with more money than they were expecting for repairs= to the church building. Therefore, he was annoyed to find that the regular= organist was sick and a substitute had been brought in at the last minute = The substitute wanted to know what to play. 'Here's a copy of the service,' he said impatiently. 'But, you'll have to t= hink of something to play after I make the announcement about the finances.= ' During the service, the minister paused and said, 'Brothers and Sisters, we= are in great difficulty; the roof repairs cost twice as much as we expecte= d and we need $4,000 more. Any of you who can pledge $100 or more, please s= tand up' At that moment, the substitute organist played 'Advance Australia Fair.' And that is how the substitute became the regular organist! Grandfathers [http://origin.ih.constantcontact.com/fs007/1101938345415/img/576.jpg?a=3D1= 102414161273] Nothing I've ever done has given me more joys and rewards than being a father to my children. Bill Cosby Single Dads THE Book for Single Fathers[http://origin.ih.constantcontact.com/fs007/1101= 938345415/img/575.gif?a=3D1102414161273] By Wayne Parker - About.com Authors Elaine Fantle Shimberg and Michael Shimberg have written the defini= tive guide for success for a single father. Whether the dad is divorced, wi= dowed or never married, The Complete Single Father is filled with great ide= as, meaningful insights and very practical approaches to the challenges of = single fathers. The Complete Single Father is one of the very best books I have seen on mak= ing the challenges of life for single fathers a little easier. Authors Elai= ne Fantle Shimberg and Michael Shimberg have distilled a great deal of info= rmation into an easy to find, easy to read format that will intrigue and, m= ore importantly, serve well any single father. Beginning with chapters on reassuring children after the family break up, c= ommunications, affection and discipline, the book continues on looking at t= he unique challenges associated with raising girls and boys. These chapters= I thought were especially helpful in coming to grips with the different ap= proaches needed for parenting each gender of child. The next part of the book looks at helping a single dad balance all the dem= ands on his life. From making a house or apartment a home and organizing and cooking to time = management and medical skills, these chapters are life savers for a single = dad. Some of the best life management advice I have ever seen in print is r= ight here. And the recipes in the cooking section are easy and inexpensive,= and the end product will please your kids at the dinner table. The next section of the book, called "Getting Your Life Back," deals with i= ssues less about parenting and more about other relationships. Figuring out= how to deal with people who were friends with both you and your ex, dealin= g with extended family, budgeting and finance and handling stress are all d= ealt with here. And again, the advice and tips for these difficult parts of= post divorce life are right on point. Finally, the book deals with the relationship between you and your ex. Effe= ctive communications, dealing with money, handling differences in parenting= styles and avoiding being manipulated by the children are some of the topi= cs covered. It is hard for me to imagine a more comprehensive approach to managing life= as a single dad. The Complete Single Father touches all aspects of a single dad's life and o= ffers solid advice, encouragement, practical steps and hope for making it t= hrough a major life challenge. This book is a must-have for every single da= d's library, nightstand and briefcase. Available from Seek Books in Australia or B= ooktopia All You Need is Love Good can come from arguing[http://origin.ih.constantcontact.com/fs007/11019= 38345415/img/573.jpg?a=3D1102414161273] By Rev. Bruce Swanson - Saturday, August 16th, 2008 Marriage is like twirling a baton, turning handsprings or eating with chops= ticks. It looks easy until you try it. For me the baton falls, I fall on my head on the handsprings, and the chops= ticks lead to a fork. I know there are people who can do all three, but I c= an't. But given time, perhaps I could learn. Marital conflict is similar for me. I went into this marriage thing 39 year= s ago and still have trouble with conflict. Stop and reread that last line.= Basically, I'm not a stupid person, but I do not like to argue with my wif= e. My wife and I came into marriage with different strategies for arguing. She= is much more sharply vocal - which is to say she shouts. I developed the h= ighly unsuccessful strategy of pouting, and I'm very good at it. [http://origin.ih.constantcontact.com/fs007/1101938345415/img/574.jpg?a=3D1= 102414161273]Pouting is the finely developed attempt to put the other perso= n down by giving them the emotionally silent treatment while at the same ti= me trying to intellectually rationalize my side. I found that one who shouts has no intellectual side ... at least in those= first few minutes of expression! I have learned that there are basically only five things that we will argue= over: miscommunication, money, sex, kids, time. Beyond those five there is= n't much. Each category has variables, but basically "till death do us part" that's i= t ... yet there are PhD's who cannot successfully navigate those five. As we reminisce over those amazing Olympic athletes who dedicated their liv= es to winning one race, let's take a couple minutes to ponder what it might= take to run the distance on one marriage. Here are some training tips. Conflict can be a good thing. It provides an opportunity to work through is= sues that can make the relationship stronger. This is not advice to make co= nflict into a sporting event, but it is advice to "not be afraid." Conflict is the result of unrealistic, uncommunicated or unmet expectations= . Therefore, conflict can clarify and remove roadblocks to a deeper marria= ge relationship. People marry people who are different from them. Intuitively, people sense = there is personal benefit in marrying someone whose strengths can complemen= t their own. Marriage makes two people stronger together than they would be separately. = This should be a cause for gratitude as well as conflict. "I love you" means I trust you. Trust means I know you have my best interes= ts in mind when you engage me in a conversation. Conflict need not tear a marriage apart; conflict should strengthen a marri= age and my view of me. It's incredible to think that someone would love us = enough to dare to risk conflict so that my life could be better. There are many rules to the concept of marital conflict. For instance, don'= t bring up the past, don't belittle or shame the other person, keep it betw= een you two and don't bring in reinforcements, take one issue at a time, an= d stay with it until you feel you have heard one another. Always remember that this is the person you have announced you love! Treat = them tenderly even in the midst of conflict, and remember you will always h= ave conflict, and much of it will be over the same issues. If I were reading this article and had been just been married, I would thin= k the columnist had a good idea but was nuts. When I was newly married and= begging, crying and pleading in what I thought was a somewhat dignified ma= nner for more sex, my only interest was in winning the argument. I firmly b= elieved my point of view was a win-win solution to the problem. When I was rationalizing the thirteen checks I forgot to write down which c= aused our bank account to go into overdraft, I could not believe she was no= t more forgiving. When I failed to communicate to her that on our first anniversary I was not= thoughtful or sensitive enough to take the evening off because I was doing= God's work, I could not believe she did not understand. Why the tears? Bec= ause I failed to love as I had promised. Today it's a little different. We have learned that conflict can work for u= s and not against us. I like what we do now, even though I can still be thr= eatened over where the argument might be going. And it makes me so mad when= she's right! This column is written by people associated with the Healthy Families-Netwo= rk. Rev. Bruce Swanson is the pastor at First United Presbyterian Church, N= ampa. The Healthy Families-Network is a local organization initiated by a faith-b= ased coalition committed to the well-being of children. www.healthyfamilies= nampa.org Special Feature Interview with Matthew Hayden[http://origin.ih.constantcontact.com/fs007/11= 01938345415/img/404.jpg?a=3D1102414161273] There's nothing that replaces the moment of joy in your life when you have = children. As a male I think you actually go through a bit of a chest beating stage. I= t's like, 'Gees, I've produced this beautiful baby, I'm a man.' It actually= physically does change you as well because suddenly it's not just your wif= e and you. It's a very unselfish thing, you've now got this beautiful littl= e individual and life, that you have to care and nurture and you become ver= y self-less and that's a difficult time in your life, but look, whatever yo= u put in in life you get back ten fold. With our three beautiful children, = it's just amazing how they give back to you in such simple but such rewardi= ng ways. I wouldn't change one damn thing. It's a difficult balance you strike as a professional athlete the reality o= f it is that because you are removed from your family roughly 10 out of 12 = months in the height of periods of time. So the work-place to family-life i= s an unnatural balance. I guess the way that our family has tended to deal = with it: firstly my wife Kellie has been amazing in bringing the kids to di= fferent parts of the world so you get that little bit of time in that worki= ng environment but then I think it is being able to just lock ourselves awa= y in places like Stradbroke and just whatever time that we have had at home= is purely about quality time with our children. There's no real story behind the Alligator business (the game I play with m= y children) other than it looked like a whole lot of fun when I started to = have a bit of a kip one afternoon. Grabbing the kids, and that sort of susp= ense element, like we all know even as adults in suspense films, kind of ge= ts you and it always creates a giggle. I think one of the great parts about= being a parent is the fact that you can always laugh with your kids. The kids and I just love getting amongst it. We're very lucky living in Que= ensland that we've got an opportunity to always be outside. There's no real= rules in our house with regards to watching TV or being on computers or wh= atever but generally speaking as a dad, where I like to be the most, is out= of the house. I think just the little skills that you can pick up bring ba= lance. My daughter has had a scooter since she was about 13 months old and = I remember always in Kensington on the Ashes Tour picking up this little sc= ooter, little three-wheeled scooter, the micro scooters, and we were just f= lying around through the streets of London. She was holding hands. It has a= little joystick so she could go in and out of the walking traffic. That's = been a real hand-me-down to other scooters. So now my one year old is getti= ng his balance and getting going on it and it's just a great way that we ca= n have fun together. That leads into the water sports. I absolutely love su= rfing so I'm kinda hoping that Nippers and so on will happen and that as th= e kids grow they will start to really enjoy the water as well. Surfing is a= big part of my life. Stradbroke is the most phenomenal place on earth and it's in our back yard = here. 20 km offshore from Brisbane is a paradise that exists to very few. T= he whales come past, back and forth, right in your back yard. It has great = fishing grounds. Straight off the back yard I can drop a line in and catch = several species of fish including blue water species. More than anything I = think it's about being able to lock away some time. I think nothing can rep= lace the actual physical time that you spend with your kids and we're all i= ncredibly busy people. We seem to becoming a lot more busier in life as a n= ation but I think just having that physical time whether it be to go out th= e back yard and teach your children how to tie a knot or catch a fish or go= into the kitchen and realize that pancakes, they're not that hard, it's ju= st an egg and some flour, straight in the pan and bobs-your-uncle. Just to = get that kind of tangibility with regards to what people are doing and what= you do in your own life. So that physical time is a great opportunity at S= tradbroke and for me, just to really surround myself in the environment. Ev= ery second of the day is another lesson whether it be moon phase, or tide p= hase or water conditions, what fish are biting, surf conditions, something = which you can communicate which is a living thing, rather than, there's the= TV, thanks for coming, you leave your kids and you're off and doing your o= wn thing. I think how to be a good dad is: Firstly: spending time, nothing obviously replaces that. Secondly: is having fun in the areas that you enjoy, so that you've got a n= atural gravitation towards a certain activity. I think the third thing is just love your family. Enjoy spending that time = around your family. Give back to your family as much as you can. In simple = ways whether that be cooking food, creating opportunities to have fun in th= e outdoors, snuggling up on the lounge. One thing about kids, right across,= in every nation that I've ever toured to, is that they're very tactile, ve= ry physical and very tactile and to have a hug from a child is by far the b= est thing in lif News & Info Smacking wrongly linked to child deaths[http://origin.ih.constantcontact.co= m/fs007/1101938345415/img/571.jpg?a=3D1102414161273] By Lyle Shelton ACL Anti-smacking campaigners continue to link loving discipline to child death= using discredited research. Click here to read a story published over the holiday peri= od. Family First New Zealand, a New Zealand-based research and advocacy group w= hich led the opposition against the hugely unpopular smacking ban in NZ in = 2007 (not to be confused with the Australian political party of the same na= me), says that the same lies and flawed ideology are being used in Australi= a as has been used in NZ by the anti-smacking advocates. "The 2007 UNICEF report on child abuse said that the likelihood of a child = being injured or killed is associated with parental drug or alcohol abuse, = weak family ties, single-parenthood, low maternal education, low maternal a= ge at birth, poverty, and poor housing," says Bob McCoskrie, National Direc= tor of Family First NZ. "In the 2003 UNICEF report on maltreatment deaths, of the five countries wi= th the lowest child abuse death rates in the UNICEF report, four allowed sm= acking. Of the ten safest countries for children in the 2007 report, six ha= dn't banned smacking." "The claim by Dr Olav Nielsen that the rate of child abuse in Sweden after = the smacking ban was nil is a complete lie. Morgan Johansson, the Swedish p= ublic health minister recently said 'Every year, eight to ten, sometimes as= many as twelve children die in Sweden due to violence. This has been true = for several years.' Mr McCoskrie says that the problem is that the anti-smacking advocates quot= e discredited Canadian research Joan Durrant. Durrant uses a completely irr= elevant definition of child abuse, and excludes the killing of children as = a result of neglect, intentional killings, post-natal depression, babies ki= lled within 24 hours of birth, and those accompanied by suicide by the abus= er. She has adopted a definition by Somander and Rammer (1991) which also e= xcludes child deaths due to poverty, marital conflicts, alcohol abuse, spar= ing the child the kind of life led by the perpetrator, and giving no reason= for killing the child. "This is why she has misrepresented the effect of the Swedish smacking ban = on child abuse rates. Even UNICEF reports have ignored her definition and A= ustralians would do well to ignore these outlandish statements also," says = Mr McCoskrie. After the smacking ban in Sweden, child abuse increased 489% in the 13 year= s following ban, and assaults by kids against kids increased 672%. A Swedis= h government report in 2000 said 'we see no tendency to a decrease in bully= ing at school or in leisure time during the last 20 years'. "The smacking ban in NZ has done more harm than good with a 30% increase in= parents being referred to social agencies yet a decrease in cases warranti= ng further investigation. And the child abuse rate continues unabated," say= s Mr McCoskrie. "No decent research shows a smack by a loving parent breeds= violence." "That's why a petition signed by over 300,000 kiwis has forced a referendum= on the issue, and polls show that around 80% of NZ'ers continue to oppose = the anti-smacking law." "NZ'ers want laws which target rotten parents who abuse their children, but= doesn't criminalise good parents who use a non-abusive smack as part of co= rrection," says Mr McCoskrie. "I would assume most Australians would agree = with this. It's time we targeted the real causes of child abuse but we need= an honest and factual debate on the issue." Letters Dear Fatherhood Foundation, Your newsletter 11/01/09 has a link to an article re: smacking of children.= I found this puzzling, expecially since you did not comment at all. Surely, you don't agree with the New Zealand smacking ban? Kind regards Dieter Fischer www.driving-school.com.au www.dieterfischer.com driva@kern.com.au NA 115 PS The article posted a few comments, which are worth considering. Dear Dieter A smacking ban would be entirely counterproductive in the overall scheme of= things. The main problems to do with child abuse are in order 1 Fatherlessness 2 Violence in entertainment 3 Porn which is dehumanizing and encourages violence against the most = defenceless 4 Drugs and drink 5 Moral relativism Fatherhood Foundation PO Box 542 UNANDERRA NSW 2526 Ph: 02 4272 6677 Fax: 02 4272 6680 Email: info@fatherhood.org.au Web: www.fatherhood.org.au To Smack or not to Smack UK = experience 2008 The real losers in this whole fiasco are the scores and scores of deserving= and needy children who are being denied a loving home because of over-zeal= ous regulation," he continues. "That is the real tragedy." ______________________________________________ Dear Fatherhood Foundation I feel I should draw your attention to the sale of blue tyre tube valves to= raise money for prostate cancer. I have purchased mine from the counter at= Lowes Menswear in Figtree. You might consider mentioning this in your newsletters. Regards, Bob Patrech _________________________________ Daughters & their Dads Order 'Daughters & their Dads' by Dr Bruce Robinson for only $35 (includes = P&H). A great gift for adult daughters, dads or an inspiring read. Dr Bruce Robin= son is a medical doctor based in Western Australia. In Daughters and their Dads Dr Bruce Robinson explores the importance of fa= thers and father-figures in a girl's life and the long-lasting effects thos= e relationships have. Dr Robinson interviewed over 400 people. The stories = and quotes from these men and women reveal lots of novel strategies and ide= as. They provide a unique insight into many different types of relationship= s. Tips for fathers, adult daughters, husbands and father-figures. We still have several copies of this book available. Email: info@fatherhood.org.au to order you= r copy. ______________________________________________ Fathering Adventures 4-9 July 2009 'Fathering Adventures' operates out of the stunning beauty of Tropical Nort= h Queensland. Our next 5-night father-son adventure will be held from Satur= day afternoon, July 4th to Thursday morning, July 9th 2009. The minimum age= requirement for the 'sons' is 13 years, and there is no upper age limit. W= e are limiting these 5-night adventures to a maximum of 12 father & son pai= rs. A typical day features an exceptional full-day, professionally-guided o= utdoor adventure / activity e.g. white-water rafting down the Tully River, = snorkelling and glass-bottom boat viewing on the outer Great Barrier Reef, = dual sea kayaking between Mission Beach and Dunk Island, and hiking to the = summit of Mount Tyson. The outdoor adventures / activities selected cater f= or all fitness levels. A typical evening features a multimedia presentation= and small group interaction on topics such as 'Authentic Manhood versus Co= nventional Manhood', and 'The Four Marks of a Real Man', followed by time r= elaxing around the fire sharing stories of the day's adventures. Far more d= etail can be found at the website www.fatheringadventures.com.au . To apply for sponsorship, please email me at darren@fatheringadventures.com= .au giving a brief explanation of your current family, and financial situa= tion, and why it would be beneficial to your son and your relationship with= him, for 'Fathering Adventures' to offer your family a sponsorship package= . Please ensure sponsorship requests are kept to just one page in length. A= ll requests will be read and considered. Alternatively, if your financial situation is such that you or your busines= s are able to contribute to offering financial support to others through th= e 'Fathering Adventures' sponsorship fund, then please also contact me at d= arren@fatheringadventures.com.au = or phone: 07 47232941 Dad's Prayer [http://origin.ih.constantcontact.com/fs007/1101938345415/img/572.jpg?a=3D1= 102414161273] Dear God Help me know when it's time to pull back from the things in my life that take me away from my family. Give me the courage to follow Matthew's example and say the words to my wife and my family: "Darling I think I've had enough. I want to be here, with you." Help Us! [http://img.constantcontact.com/ui/images1/s.gif]The Fatherhood Foundation = is a Harm Prevention Charity. Fatherlessness and inadequate fathering has been proven to be a source of h= arm. The Fatherhood Foundation helps children by promoting excellence in f= athering. Excellent fathers are in word and deed: responsible, involved, pr= otective, loving and committed to the well-being of their children and thei= r children's mother. If you would like to give financially to the Fatherhood Foundation Public F= und and receive tax deductibility: Fatherhood Foundation Public Fund (Name, address and amount details must be emailed for a receipt for tax ded= uctibility) Westpac Branch Wollongong DONATE ONLINE BSB: 032 695 A/C: 25-5558 Or mail cheque and address details to: PO Box 542 UNANDERRA NSW 2526 AUSTRALIA The Fatherhood Foundation Public Fund is a public fund listed on the Regis= ter of Harm Prevention Charities under Subdivision 30_EA of the Income Tax = Assessment Act 1997. You have received the fathersonline.org newsletter because you have subscri= bed, or you have been subscribed by a friend. If you do not wish to receiv= e future emails, please click the UNSUBSCRIBE button below. Forward email [http://img.constantcontact.com/letters/images/safe_unsubscribe_logo.gif] This email was sent to blane@uow.edu.au by info@fathersonline.org. Update Profile/Email Address | Instant removal with SafeUnsubscribe(tm) | Pri= vacy Policy. Email Marketing= by [http://img.constantcontact.com/letters/images/cc-logo-color-sm.gif] Fatherhood Foundation | P.O. Box 542 | Unanderra | NSW | 2526 | Australia --_000_1102414161273110193834541512118113173019scheduler_ Content-Type: text/html; charset="iso-8859-1" Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable
=09
3D"Dads4Kids
=09
=09 =09 =09 =09
 19th January 2009       Encouraging Families  Issue 335
 

 

 
Matthew Hayden
Great Cricketer Great Dad=
Dear Brian,
Welcome to the Fatherhood Foundation newsletter and email information = service for Fathers and Families as we present Matthew Hayden: Great Cricke= ter-Great Dad.
=09
In This Issue
Frontline...Tribute to Matthew Hayden
Link...Video Tribute
Laughter..Holy Humour
Grandfathers...Fathering Rewards
Single Dads...The Book for Single Fathers
All You Need is Love..Good can come from Arguing
Special Feature...Interview with Matthew Hayden
News & Info..Smacking ??
Dad's Prayer..Help me to know the time
Next Week&nb= sp;

The 80/20 Principle

 =09 =09
= Join our Mailing List!
 
Quick Links
=09
 Thought of the Week
3D"Tho= 
3D"Matthew 

Darling I think I've had enough.
= I want to be here (with you).
 
Matthew Hayden -
while picking tomatoes
with his six year old daughter.

Frontline
=
3D"Matthew

The Australian tribute feature by Mike Coward was titled 'The = hard edge of faith'. The subtitle told the story: 'Matthew= Hayden's calm yet powerful approach reaped extraordinary rewards on the cr= icket field'.
 
It was hard not to be moved by Matt= hew Hayden's announcement of his retirement from test cricket this week. Hi= s 15 year career had more than its fair share of ups and downs but Coward, = one of the world cricket's most famous reporters, tells the story well.
 
In defiance of his imposing physical presence, natural ag= gression and an unabashed love of the male kingdom that is the Australian c= ricket dressing-room, Matthew Hayden has generally exuded calmness.
&n= bsp;
While this redoubtable cricket player retired yesterday as statis= tically Australia's greatest opening batsman he is predominantly a spiritua= l character drawn to the greater forces through his love of the sea. . .  
While Australian cricket was blessed with some of its great= est players throughout the late 1990s and 2000s it was Hayden and Langer wh= o so often meticulously constructed the foundations on which so much such s= uccess was built. . .
 
Filled with an unwavering self-beli= ef that he could make a difference in the rarefied Test match arena he proc= eeded to score 1000 or more Test runs in five consecutive years from 2001. = He won a swag of Australian and international awards, including the Allan B= order Medal in 2002. He won widespread acclaim when he amassed a score of 3= 80 against Zimbabwe at the WACA ground in Perth in October 2003. . .
&= nbsp;
He was twice in World Cup-winning teams, and at the 2007 event i= n the West Indies scored the fastest century in World Cup history. Hayden b= ecame only the third person to score three centuries at one tournament. For= good measure in 2007 he led the tournament scorers at the inaugural World = Twenty20 in South Africa with 265 runs at a strike rate of 144.80 per 100 b= alls.
 
Once he entered the consciousness of the internation= al cricket community in 2001 he never left it. His physical and verbal aggr= ession polarised some opponents and spectators.
 
Some oppo= nents thought that given his quick and often acerbic tongue it was hypocrit= ical for him to so elaborately cross himself after scoring a century.
 
Away from the middle he can exude stillness, and he has always= had an un-selfconscious faith in his God, even stronger than the faith in = his ability to make a difference in test cricket.
 
"I've a= lways had a faith, I never try and hide that," he said at the time the Hind= u gods shone so generously upon him. "Everyone knows I am a religious perso= n.
 
"And I just think it is appropriate at one of the high= est moments in your life that you make a mark of respect like that. . .
 
Like Langer and his contemporaries who have left the game, Ha= yden will be able to spend precious time with his wife, Kellie, and their t= hree children, and lend his name to causes dear to his heart.
&nb= sp;
Dads4Kids Fatherhood Foundation is privileged that Matthew Hayden = agreed to front our Father's Day promotional competition www.dads4kids.org.au  on nation= al TV. His interview is a must see - we have printe= d it again as Special Feature should you not be able to view the link at th= e Dads4Kids website. I flew to visit Matthew Hayden at his home in order to= do the interview and help produce the community service adverts. I was imm= ediately impressed with Matt's closeness to his children and his love for h= is wife, Kellie. You can fool some of the people some of the time, but you = can't fool your wife and children at any time. When it came time to film Ma= tthew on the trampoline with his kids, you = could tell by the interaction that this was not something they were doing f= or the TV cameras but was just a part of everyday life for Gracie, Joshua a= nd Thomas. Dad loves to play with them and they just love to play with Dad.=
 
Matthew Hayden's final decision to retire from the game = of cricket was made with his six year old daughter Grace while picking toma= toes in the backyard. Matthew said to Grace, "Darling. I think I've had eno= ugh. I want to be here."
 
When you have seen Matthew in act= ion, with his kids, up close and personal, you know it's not spin but the r= eality of a man who is as fiercely committed to his family as his cricket. = Mike Coward's article also reveals another side of Matthew Hayden that is n= ot always understood, that he is also a deeply committed man of faith. A tr= ue man in every sense of the word.
 
Lovework
 
= Check out the interview and catch a bit of Matthew Hayden'= s commitment to his family. It truly is contagious and inspiring all at the= same time. Matthew - keep being an inspiration to fathers and families eve= rywhere.
 
The Dads4Kids Fatherhood Foundation salutes you, = as do our readers.
 
Yours for more inspiration
Warwick= Marsh
 
PS: 'A Father's Love' was advertised as this week's= heading and although a misprint (we used it already) it is still an approp= riate sub-title for a tribute to one of the greatest dads in Australian spo= rt. Matthew Hayden took his children almost everywhere he travelled. He red= efined how to integrate family as a professional sportsman.
 
If you have any words of encouragement for Matthew, do send them to us at= info@fatherhoo= d.org.au  and we will pass them on. We do hope that Matthew will c= onsider an invitation to award the prizes to the winners of the Dads4Kids C= ompetition. Your letters just may encourage him to do so.
 ______= ______________________________________________________________

W= arwick Marsh  has been married to Alison for 33 years. = He is the grandfather of two children and father of five children, four boy= s and one girl, ranging in age from 28 years to 16 years.  Warwic= k is a musician, songwriter, producer and public speaker who likes to think= he can still laugh at himself.

Link of the Week
Laughter
= =
3D"Church
<= /font> A minister parked his car in a no parki= ng zone in a large city because he was short of time and couldn't find a sp= ace with a meter.
Then he put a note under the windshield wiper that r= ead: 'I have circled the block 10 times. If I don't park here, I'll miss my= appointment. Forgive us our trespasses'
When he returned, he found a= citation from a police officer along with this note 'I've circled this blo= ck for 10 years. If I don't give you a ticket I'll lose my job. Lead us not= into temptation.'
____________________=20
 
The minister was preoccupied with thoughts of = how he was going to ask the congregation to come up with more money than th= ey were expecting for repairs to the church building. Therefore, he was ann= oyed to find that the regular organist was sick and a substitute had been b= rought in at the last minute The substitute wanted to know what to play. 'Here's a copy of the service,' he said impatiently. 'But, you'll have = to think of something to play after I make the announcement about the finan= ces.'
During the service, the minister paused and said, 'Brothers and = Sisters, we are in great difficulty; the roof repairs cost twice as much as= we expected and we need $4,000 more. Any of you who can pledge $100 or mor= e, please stand up'
At that moment, the substitute organist played 'A= dvance Australia Fair.'
And that is how the substitute became the regu= lar organist!
Grandfathers
3D"Cosby 
Nothing I've ever done
has given me more= joys and rewards
than being a father to my children.
&nbs= p;
Bill Cosby


Single Dads
 
THE Book for Single Fathers3D"Bookcover2"
By Wayne Park= er - About.com
 
Authors Elaine Fantle Shimberg and Michael = Shimberg have written the definitive guide for success for a single father.= Whether the dad is divorced, widowed or never married, The Complete Si= ngle Father is filled with great ideas, meaningful insights and very p= ractical approaches to the challenges of single fathers.
 
<= em>The Complete Single Father is one of the very best books I have see= n on making the challenges of life for single fathers a little easier. Auth= ors Elaine Fantle Shimberg and Michael Shimberg have distilled a great deal= of information into an easy to find, easy to read format that will intrigu= e and, more importantly, serve well any single father.
 
Be= ginning with chapters on reassuring children after the family break up, com= munications, affection and discipline, the book continues on looking at the= unique challenges associated with raising girls and boys. These chapters I= thought were especially helpful in coming to grips with the different appr= oaches needed for parenting each gender of child.
 
The nex= t part of the book looks at helping a single dad balance all the demands on= his life.
 
From making a house or apartment a home and or= ganizing and cooking to time management and medical skills, these chapters = are life savers for a single dad. Some of the best life management advice I= have ever seen in print is right here. And the recipes in the cooking sect= ion are easy and inexpensive, and the end product will please your kids at = the dinner table.
 
The next section of the book, called "G= etting Your Life Back," deals with issues less about parenting and more abo= ut other relationships. Figuring out how to deal with people who were frien= ds with both you and your ex, dealing with extended family, budgeting and f= inance and handling stress are all dealt with here. And again, the advice a= nd tips for these difficult parts of post divorce life are right on point. =
 
Finally, the book deals with the relationship between you= and your ex. Effective communications, dealing with money, handling differ= ences in parenting styles and avoiding being manipulated by the children ar= e some of the topics covered.
 
It is hard for me to imagin= e a more comprehensive approach to managing life as a single dad.
The Complete Single Father touches all aspects of a single dad'= s life and offers solid advice, encouragement, practical steps and hope for= making it through a major life challenge. This book is a must-have for eve= ry single dad's library, nightstand and briefcase.

Available from Seek Books in Australia  or Booktopia
All You Nee= d is Love
Good can come from arguing3D"Couple
By Rev. Bruce Swanson - Satur= day, August 16th, 2008
 
Marriage is like twirling a baton,= turning handsprings or eating with chopsticks.  It looks easy until y= ou try it.  
 
For me the baton falls, I fall on my hea= d on the handsprings, and the chopsticks lead to a fork. I know there are p= eople who can do all three, but I can't. But given time, perhaps I could le= arn.
 
Marital conflict is similar for me. I went into this = marriage thing 39 years ago and still have trouble with conflict. Stop and = reread that last line. Basically, I'm not a stupid person, but I do not lik= e to argue with my wife.   
 
My wife and I came i= nto marriage with different strategies for arguing. She is much more sharpl= y vocal - which is to say she shouts. I developed the highly unsuccessful s= trategy of pouting, and I'm very good at it.  
 
<= img height=3D"319" name=3D"ACCOUNT.IMAGE.574" border=3D"0" width=3D"280" co= ntenteditable=3D"false" alt=3D"Pouting Man" src=3D"http://origin.ih.constan= tcontact.com/fs007/1101938345415/img/574.jpg?a=3D1102414161273" align=3D"le= ft">Pouting is the finely developed attempt to put the other person down by= giving them the emotionally silent treatment while at the same time trying= to intellectually rationalize my side.
 
I found that one = who shouts has no intellectual side ...  at least in those first few m= inutes of expression!
 
I have learned that there are basica= lly only five things that we will argue over: miscommunication, money, sex,= kids, time. Beyond those five there isn't much.  
 
Ea= ch category has variables, but basically "till death do us part" that's it = ... yet there are PhD's who cannot successfully navigate those five.  =
 
As we reminisce over those amazing Olympic athletes who d= edicated their lives to winning one race, let's take a couple minutes to po= nder what it might take to run the distance on one marriage. Here are some = training tips.
 
Conflict can be a good thing. It provides a= n opportunity to work through issues that can make the relationship stronge= r. This is not advice to make conflict into a sporting event, but it is adv= ice to "not be afraid."  
 
Conflict is the result of u= nrealistic, uncommunicated or unmet expectations.  Therefore, conflict= can clarify and remove roadblocks to a deeper marriage relationship.
=  
People marry people who are different from them. Intuitively, p= eople sense there is personal benefit in marrying someone whose strengths c= an complement their own.
 
Marriage makes two people strong= er together than they would be separately. This should be a cause for grati= tude as well as conflict.
 
"I love you" means I trust you.= Trust means I know you have my best interests in mind when you engage me i= n a conversation.
 
Conflict need not tear a marriage apart= ; conflict should strengthen a marriage and my view of me. It's incredible = to think that someone would love us enough to dare to risk conflict so that= my life could be better.  
 
There are many rules to t= he concept of marital conflict. For instance, don't bring up the past, don'= t belittle or shame the other person, keep it between you two and don't bri= ng in reinforcements, take one issue at a time, and stay with it until you = feel you have heard one another.
 
Always remember that thi= s is the person you have announced you love! Treat them tenderly even in th= e midst of conflict, and remember you will always have conflict, and much o= f it will be over the same issues.
 
If I were reading this = article and had been just been married, I would think the columnist had a g= ood idea but was nuts.  When I was newly married and begging, crying a= nd pleading in what I thought was a somewhat dignified manner for more sex,= my only interest was in winning the argument. I firmly believed my point o= f view was a win-win solution to the problem.
 
When I was = rationalizing the thirteen checks I forgot to write down which caused our b= ank account to go into overdraft, I could not believe she was not more forg= iving.=20
 
When I failed to communicate to her that on our first anni= versary I was not thoughtful or sensitive enough to take the evening off be= cause I was doing God's work, I could not believe she did not understand. W= hy the tears? Because I failed to love as I had promised.
 
= Today it's a little different. We have learned that conflict can work for u= s and not against us. I like what we do now, even though I can still be thr= eatened over where the argument might be going. And it makes me so mad when= she's right!=20
 
 
This column is written by people associated wi= th the Healthy Families-Network. Rev. Bruce Swanson is the pastor at First = United Presbyterian Church, Nampa. 
The Healthy Families-Network = is a local organization initiated by a faith-based coalition committed to t= he well-being of children. www.healthyfamiliesnampa.org

=09

Special Feature

Interview with Matthew Hayden3D"Matthew

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
There's nothing that replaces the moment of = joy in your life when you have children.
As a male I think you actuall= y go through a bit of a chest beating stage. It's like, 'Gees, I've produce= d this beautiful baby, I'm a man.' It actually physically does change you a= s well because suddenly it's not just your wife and you. It's a very unself= ish thing, you've now got this beautiful little individual and life, that y= ou have to care and nurture and you become very self-less and that's a diff= icult time in your life, but look, whatever you put in in life you get back= ten fold. With our three beautiful children, it's just amazing how they gi= ve back to you in such simple but such rewarding ways. I wouldn't change on= e damn thing.

It's a difficult balance you strike as a professio= nal athlete the reality of it is that because you are removed from your fam= ily roughly 10 out of 12 months in the height of periods of time. So the wo= rk-place to family-life is an unnatural balance. I guess the way that our f= amily has tended to deal with it: firstly my wife Kellie has been amazing i= n bringing the kids to different parts of the world so you get that little = bit of time in that working environment but then I think it is being able t= o just lock ourselves away in places like Stradbroke and just whatever time= that we have had at home is purely about quality time with our children.
There's no real story behind the Alligator business (the game I p= lay with my children) other than it looked like a whole lot of fun when I s= tarted to have a bit of a kip one afternoon. Grabbing the kids, and that so= rt of suspense element, like we all know even as adults in suspense films, = kind of gets you and it always creates a giggle. I think one of the great p= arts about being a parent is the fact that you can always laugh with your k= ids.

The kids and I just love getting amongst it. We're very luc= ky living in Queensland that we've got an opportunity to always be outside.= There's no real rules in our house with regards to watching TV or being on= computers or whatever but generally speaking as a dad, where I like to be = the most, is out of the house. I think just the little skills that you can = pick up bring balance. My daughter has had a scooter since she was about 13= months old and I remember always in Kensington on the Ashes Tour picking u= p this little scooter, little three-wheeled scooter, the micro scooters, an= d we were just flying around through the streets of London. She was holding= hands. It has a little joystick so she could go in and out of the walking = traffic. That's been a real hand-me-down to other scooters. So now my one y= ear old is getting his balance and getting going on it and it's just a grea= t way that we can have fun together. That leads into the water sports. I ab= solutely love surfing so I'm kinda hoping that Nippers and so on will happe= n and that as the kids grow they will start to really enjoy the water as we= ll. Surfing is a big part of my life.

Stradbroke is the most phe= nomenal place on earth and it's in our back yard here. 20 km offshore from = Brisbane is a paradise that exists to very few. The whales come past, back = and forth, right in your back yard. It has great fishing grounds. Straight = off the back yard I can drop a line in and catch several species of fish in= cluding blue water species. More than anything I think it's about being abl= e to lock away some time. I think nothing can replace the actual physical t= ime that you spend with your kids and we're all incredibly busy people. We = seem to becoming a lot more busier in life as a nation but I think just hav= ing that physical time whether it be to go out the back yard and teach your= children how to tie a knot or catch a fish or go into the kitchen and real= ize that pancakes, they're not that hard, it's just an egg and some flour, = straight in the pan and bobs-your-uncle. Just to get that kind of tangibili= ty with regards to what people are doing and what you do in your own life. = So that physical time is a great opportunity at Stradbroke and for me, just= to really surround myself in the environment. Every second of the day is a= nother lesson whether it be moon phase, or tide phase or water conditions, = what fish are biting, surf conditions, something which you can communicate = which is a living thing, rather than, there's the TV, thanks for coming, yo= u leave your kids and you're off and doing your own thing.

I thi= nk how to be a good dad is:

Firstly: spending time, nothing obv= iously replaces that.
Secondly: is having fun in the areas that you en= joy, so that you've got a natural gravitation towards a certain activity.
I think the third thing is just love your family. Enjoy spending = that time around your family. Give back to your family as much as you can. = In simple ways whether that be cooking food, creating opportunities to have= fun in the outdoors, snuggling up on the lounge. One thing about kids, rig= ht across, in every nation that I've ever toured to, is that they're very t= actile, very physical and very tactile and to have a hug from a child is by= far the best thing in lif
News & Info
=
 
Smacking wrongly linked to c= hild deaths3D"Child=
By Lyle Shelton ACL
Anti-smacking campaigners co= ntinue to link loving discipline to child death using discredited research.=

Click here to read a story published over the holiday per= iod.
Family First New Zealand, a New Zealand-based research and advoca= cy group which led the opposition against the hugely unpopular smacking ban= in NZ in 2007 (not to be confused with the Australian political party of t= he same name), says that the same lies and flawed ideology are being used i= n Australia as has been used in NZ by the anti-smacking advocates.
"The 2007 UNICEF report on child abuse said that the likelihood of a chi= ld being injured or killed is associated with parental drug or alcohol abus= e, weak family ties, single-parenthood, low maternal education, low materna= l age at birth, poverty, and poor housing," says Bob McCoskrie, National Di= rector of Family First NZ.
"In the 2003 UNICEF report on maltreatment = deaths, of the five countries with the lowest child abuse death rates in th= e UNICEF report, four allowed smacking. Of the ten safest countries for chi= ldren in the 2007 report, six hadn't banned smacking."
"The claim by D= r Olav Nielsen that the rate of child abuse in Sweden after the smacking ba= n was nil is a complete lie. Morgan Johansson, the Swedish public health mi= nister recently said 'Every year, eight to ten, sometimes as many as twelve= children die in Sweden due to violence. This has been true for several yea= rs.'
Mr McCoskrie says that the problem is that the anti-smacking advo= cates quote discredited Canadian research Joan Durrant. Durrant uses a comp= letely irrelevant definition of child abuse, and excludes the killing of ch= ildren as a result of neglect, intentional killings, post-natal depression,= babies killed within 24 hours of birth, and those accompanied by suicide b= y the abuser. She has adopted a definition by Somander and Rammer (1991) wh= ich also excludes child deaths due to poverty, marital conflicts, alcohol a= buse, sparing the child the kind of life led by the perpetrator, and giving= no reason for killing the child.
"This is why she has misrepresented = the effect of the Swedish smacking ban on child abuse rates. Even UNICEF re= ports have ignored her definition and Australians would do well to ignore t= hese outlandish statements also," says Mr McCoskrie.

After the s= macking ban in Sweden, child abuse increased 489% in the 13 years following= ban, and assaults by kids against kids increased 672%. A Swedish governmen= t report in 2000 said 'we see no tendency to a decrease in bullying at scho= ol or in leisure time during the last 20 years'.
"The smacking ban in = NZ has done more harm than good with a 30% increase in parents being referr= ed to social agencies yet a decrease in cases warranting further investigat= ion. And the child abuse rate continues unabated," says Mr McCoskrie. "No d= ecent research shows a smack by a loving parent breeds violence."
"Tha= t's why a petition signed by over 300,000 kiwis has forced a referendum on = the issue, and polls show that around 80% of NZ'ers continue to oppose the = anti-smacking law."
"NZ'ers want laws which target rotten parents who = abuse their children, but doesn't criminalise good parents who use a non-ab= usive smack as part of correction," says Mr McCoskrie. "I would assume most= Australians would agree with this. It's time we targeted the real causes o= f child abuse but we need an honest and factual debate on the issue."
=  
Letters 

Dear Fatherhood Foundation,
Your newsletter 11/01/09 has a link to an article re: smacking of chil= dren. I found this puzzling, expecially since you did not comment at a= ll.
Surely, you don't agree with the New Zealand smacking ban? <= br />
 
Kind regards
 
PS  The article posted a few comments, which are worth considerin= g.
 
 
Dear Dieter
A smacking ban would be entirely counterp= roductive in the overall scheme of things. The main problems to do with chi= ld abuse are in order
 
1    Fatherlessness2    Violence in entertainment
3    = Porn which is dehumanizing and encourages violence against the most &n= bsp;  defenceless
4     Drugs and drink<= br />5     Moral relativism
 
Fatherhood Foundation
PO Box 542
UNANDERRA NSW 2526
= Ph: 02 4272 6677
Fax: 02 4272 6680
Email: info@fatherhood.org.au  Web: www.fatherhood= .org.au
 
 
To Smack or not to Smac= k   UK experience 2008
 
The real losers in this whole fiasco are the scores and scores of dese= rving and needy children who are being denied a loving home because of over= -zealous regulation," he continues. "That is the real tragedy."
______________________________________________

Dear Fatherhood Foundat= ion
I feel I should draw your attention to the sale of blue tyre tube = valves to raise money for prostate cancer. I have purchased mine from the c= ounter at Lowes Menswear in Figtree.
You might consider mentioning thi= s in your newsletters.
Regards,
Bob Patrech

___= ______________________________
Daughters & their Dads=
 
Order 'Daughters & their Dads' by Dr Bruce Robinso= n for only $35 (includes P&H).
 
A great gift for adult daug= hters, dads or an inspiring read. Dr Bruce Robinson is a medical doctor bas= ed in Western Australia. 
 
In Daughters and their Dad= s Dr Bruce Robinson explores the importance of fathers and father-figures i= n a girl's life and the long-lasting effects those relationships have. Dr R= obinson interviewed over 400 people. The stories and quotes from these men = and women reveal lots of novel strategies and ideas. They provide a unique = insight into many different types of relationships. Tips for fathers, adult= daughters, husbands and father-figures.
 
We still have sev= eral copies of this book available.
Email: info@fatherhood.org.au   to = order your copy.
 
________________________________________= ______


Fathering Adventures 4-9 July 2009
 
'Fathering Adventures' operates out of t= he stunning beauty of Tropical North Queensland. Our next 5-night= father-son adventure will be held from Saturday afternoon, = July 4th to Thursday morning, July 9th 2009. The minimum age requ= irement for the 'sons' is 13 years, and there is no upper age limit.&n= bsp;We are limiting these 5-night adventures to a maximum of 12 father & so= n pairs. A typical day features an exceptional full-day, professionally-gui= ded outdoor adventure / activity e.g. white-water rafting down the Tully Ri= ver, snorkelling and glass-bottom boat viewing on the outer Great Barrier R= eef, dual sea kayaking between Mission Beach and Dunk Island, and hiking to= the summit of Mount Tyson. The outdoor adventures / activities selected ca= ter for all fitness levels. A typical evening features a multimedia present= ation and small group interaction on topics such as 'Authentic Manhood vers= us Conventional Manhood', and 'The Four Marks of a Real Man', followed by t= ime relaxing around the fire sharing stories of the day's adventures. = Far more detail can be found at the website www.fatheringadventures.co= m.au .
 
To apply for sponsorship, please email me at darren= @fatheringadventures.com.au  giving a brief explanation of your curren= t family, and financial situation, and why it would be beneficial to your s= on and your relationship with him, for 'Fathering Adventures' to offer your= family a sponsorship package. Please ensure sponsorship requests are kept = to just one page in length. All requests will be read and considered.
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Alternatively, if your financial situation is such that you or = your business are able to contribute to offering financial support to other= s through the 'Fathering Adventures' sponsorship fund, then please also con= tact me at darren@fatheringadventures.com.au  or phone: 07 47232941

Dad's Prayer

 
3D"Father&= nbsp;
Dear God
 
Help me know when it's time
to pull back from the things in my life
that take me away from my fam= ily.
Give me the courage to=20
follow Matthew's example
and say the words to
my wife and = my family:
"Darling I think I've had enough.
I want to be here, w= ith you."
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Help Us!

3D"HelpUs"= The Fatherhood Foundation is a Harm Prevention Charity.
Fatherles= sness and inadequate fathering has been proven to be a source of harm.= The Fatherhood Foundation helps children by promoting excellence  in = fathering. Excellent fathers are in word and deed: responsible, involved, p= rotective, loving and committed to the well-being of their children and the= ir children's mother.

 

If you would like to give financially t= o the Fatherhood Foundation Public Fund and receive tax deductibility:

 

Fatherhood Found= ation Public Fund
(Name, address and amount details must be = emailed for a receipt for tax deductibility)

 Westpac Branch Wollongong      &nb= sp;            =   = DONATE ONLINE

BSB: 032 695
A/C: 25-5558
 

Or mail cheque and address details to:<= br />PO Box 542
UNANDERRA  NSW&nbs= p; 2526
AUSTRALIA

 

The Fatherhood Foundation Public Fund&n= bsp; is a public fund listed on the Register of Harm Prevention Charities u= nder Subdivision 30_EA of the Income Tax Assessment Act 1997.=

 

You have received the fatherson= line.org newsletter because you have subscribed, or you have been = subscribed by a friend.  If you do not wish to receive future emails, = please click the UNSUBSCRIBE button below.

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3D"Safe
This email was sent to blane@uow.edu.au by in= fo@fathersonline.org.
Fatherhood Foundati= on | P.O. Box 542 | Unanderra | NSW | 2526 | Australia
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