Received: from evaki.its.uow.edu.au (130.130.68.32) by staffmail.uow.edu.au (10.5.102.13) with Microsoft SMTP Server id 8.1.291.1; Sun, 13 Jul 2008 09:41:04 +1000 Received: from febris-nat.its.uow.edu.au ([130.130.68.210] helo=febris.its.uow.edu.au) by evaki.its.uow.edu.au with esmtp (Exim 4.69) (envelope-from ) id 1KHoi8-0003wq-UF for blane@uow.edu.au; Sun, 13 Jul 2008 09:41:04 +1000 Received: from c3.confirmedcc.com (c3.confirmedcc.com [64.95.77.164]) by febris.its.uow.edu.au (MOS 3.8.7a) with ESMTP id MEM93786; Sun, 13 Jul 2008 09:41:00 +1000 (EST) Received: from p1-ws008 (unknown [10.250.0.101]) by c3.confirmedcc.com (Postfix) with ESMTP id 1134898AFF for ; Sat, 12 Jul 2008 23:40:58 +0000 (UTC) From: Fatherhood Foundation To: Brian Lane Date: Sun, 13 Jul 2008 09:40:58 +1000 Subject: Time is Money Thread-Topic: Time is Money Thread-Index: AcjkeMAhenTI9EAATtWb04fEOIQ74Q== Message-ID: <1102162773312.1101938345415.1211.8.94194002@scheduler> List-Unsubscribe: http://visitor.constantcontact.com/d.jsp?p=un&v=001jm8CFGIzLJHYg-gJRLc-3d90mBLDU8ykD41BsCHeJe5H0RqEnWM7Cg== Reply-To: "info@fathersonline.org" Accept-Language: en-AU, en-US Content-Language: en-US X-MS-Exchange-Organization-AuthAs: Anonymous X-MS-Exchange-Organization-AuthSource: excasht01.ad.uow.edu.au X-MS-Has-Attach: X-MS-TNEF-Correlator: x-junkmail-status: score=10/49, host=febris.its.uow.edu.au x-junkmail-sd-raw: score=unknown, refid=str=0001.0A01020A.48794110.001B,ss=1,fgs=0, ip=64.95.77.164, so=2008-05-01 23:44:25, dmn=5.4.3/2008-02-01 x-return-path-hint: ESC1102162773312_1101938345415_1211@in.confirmedcc.com x-roving-id: 1101938345415.1211 x-roving-campaignid: 1102162773312 x-roving-streamid: 0 x-lumos-senderid: 1101938345415 x-junkmail-iwf: false Content-Type: multipart/alternative; boundary="_000_110216277331211019383454151211894194002scheduler_" MIME-Version: 1.0 --_000_110216277331211019383454151211894194002scheduler_ Content-Type: text/plain; charset="iso-8859-1" Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable [http://origin.ih.constantcontact.com/fs007/1101938345415/img/11.jpg?a=3D11= 02162773312] 14th July 2008 Inspiring Fathers Encouraging Families Issue 308 [http://img.constantcontact.com/letters/images/1101093164665/people3_header= 1.jpg] Time is Money Dear Brian, Welcome to the Fatherhood Foundation newsletter and email information servi= ce for the fathers and families as we present Time is Money. In This Issue Frontline...Great Fatherhood friends Laughter..What time is it? Grandfathers...A time for everything Single Dads...CSA Changes All You Need is Love..Online Marriage Counseling Special Feature...Plan quality time News & Info..News Links for Parents Dad's Prayer..Time is ticking away Next Week Living for Others Join our Mailing List! [http://img.constantcontact.com/ui/images1/ftf_btn_1.gif] Quick Links Fatherhood Foundation Family Law Web Guide National Fatherhood Institute National Marriage Coalition Camp Connect Men's Katoomba Convention Fathersafterdivorce.com Steve Biddulph Family Time CSA Adverts Thought of the Week [http://origin.ih.constantcontact.com/fs007/1101938345415/img/310.jpg?a=3D1= 102162773312] There is never enough time to do everything, but there is always enough time to do the most important thing. Brian Tracy Frontline It's great to have friends. Working in [http://origin.ih.constantcontact.co= m/fs007/1101938345415/img/305.jpg?a=3D1102162773312] the fatherhood movemen= t I am making new friends all over the world. One such friend is Rick Johns= on from www.betterdads.net in the USA. Rick sent me a copy of his book= 'Better Dads, Stronger Sons - How Fathers Can Guide Boys to Become Men of = Character' which I am currently rereading. Rick Johnson has also just relea= sed a new book called 'The Man Whisperer'. I recently phoned Rick to thank him for writing 'Better Dads, Stronger Sons= ' but said I would have to come to Oregon, USA to shoot him for writing suc= h a book as 'The Man Whisperer' because my wife has ordered it, is reading = it and is making me pick up my dirty clothes off the floor. Rick laughed w= ith me but was quite amazed that the book was already available in Australi= a. My advice is: don't let your wife get hold of it. To whet your appetite for Rick's down to earth story telling, here's a piec= e called 'Time is Money' from his Better Dads book. As an experienced 'older man', let me give you younger fathers a little adv= ice. That season comes around once in life, and it is fleeting. If I could = do anything over again, I would do a better job of decompressing before I g= ot home from work so I could enjoy rolling around on the floor for a few mi= nutes with the little rugrats. Now, with teenagers in the house, it seems a= s though no one cares when the old man comes home anymore - that is, unless= they need money. A man came home from work late again, tired and irritated, to find his five= year old son waiting for him at the door. "Daddy, may I ask you a question= ?" "Yeah, sure, what is it?" replied the man. "Daddy, how much money do you make an hour?" "That's none of your business! What makes you ask such a thing?" the man sa= id angrily. "I just want to know. Please tell me, how much do you make an hour?" pleade= d the little boy. "If you must know, I make twenty dollars an hour." "Oh," the little boy replied, head bowed. Looking up, he said, "Daddy, may = I borrow ten dollars, please?" The father was furious. "If the only reason you wanted to know how much mon= ey I make is so you can borrow some to buy a silly toy or some other nonsen= se, then you march yourself straight to your room and go to bed. Think abou= t why you're being so selfish. I work long, hard hours every day and don't = have time for such childish games." The little boy quietly went to his room and shut the door. The man sat down= and started to get even madder about the little boy's questioning. How dar= e he ask such questions only to get some money! After an hour or so, the man had calmed down and started to think he might = have been a little hard on his son. Maybe he really needed to buy something= with that tyen dollars, and he really didn't ask for money very often. The= man went to the door of the little boy's room and opened the door. "Are yo= u asleep, son?" he asked. "No, Daddy, I'm awake," replied the boy. "I've been thinking, maybe I was too hard on you earlier," said the man/ "I= t's been a long day, and I took my aggravation out on you. Here's that ten = dollars you asked for." The little boy sat straight up, beaming. "Oh, thank you, Daddy!" he yelled.= Then, reaching under his pillow, he pulled out some more crumpled-up bills= . The man, seeing that the boy already had money, started to get angry agai= n. The little boy slowly counted out his money, then looked up at the man. "Why did you want more money if you already had some?" the father grumbled. "Because I didn't have enough, but now I do," the little boy replied. "Dadd= y, I have twenty dollars now. Can I buy an hour of your time?" (This story = was taken from Inspirational Christian Stories and Poems Archive, 'Share Yo= ur Time'). Your kids aren't impressed with all your accomplishments. The only thing th= at really impresses them is your time and attention. Not spending enough ti= me with our kids creates anger in them. There's really no greater insult th= an being ignored. To realise that our kids love us, the want to respect us, and they want a r= elationship with us is a wonderful thing. "They just may be the only people= in the world who want to love you, who want to respect you. With everyone = else you have to work for those things. Lovework[http://origin.ih.constantcontact.com/fs007/1101938345415/img/306.j= pg?a=3D1102162773312] Cash in some time with your children. It is something that money can't buy! Yours for more time Warwick Marsh PS On Saturday 6th September 2008, the day before Father's Day, the Fatherh= ood Foundation aims to encourage dads all over Australia to hold 'Dads4kids= Fun Events' with their children. We would love these events to act as a way that dads and kids can do things= together and also have a fundraising component for the charitable work of = the Fatherhood Foundation. Anyone wishing to help please contact me at info@fatherhood.org.au Any ideas on how to make Dads4kids Fun Events happen would be appreciated. ____________________________________________________________________ Warwick Marsh has been married to Alison for 32 years. He is the grandfath= er of two children and father of five children, four boys and one girl, ran= ging in age from 27 years to 15 years. Warwick is a musician, songwriter, = producer and public speaker who likes to think he can still laugh at himsel= f. Laughter On some air bases the Air Force[http://origin.ih.constantcontact.com/fs007/= 1101938345415/img/309.jpg?a=3D1102162773312] is on one side of the field an= d civilian aircraft use the other side of the field, with the control tower= in the middle. One day the tower received a call from an aircraft asking, "What time is it= ?" The tower responded, "Who is calling?" The aircraft replied, "What diffe= rence does it make?" The tower replied "It makes a lot of difference. 1) If it is an American Airlines flight, it is 3 o'clock. 2) If it is an Air Force plane, it is 1500 hours. 3) If it is a Navy aircraft, it is 6 bells. 4) If it is an Army aircraft, the big hand is on the 12 and the little hand= is on the 3. 5) If it is a Marine Corps aircraft, it's Thursday afternoon and 120 minute= s to "Happy Hour." _________________________________ What Time is it? BLONDE: "Excuse me, what time is it right now?" WOMAN: "It's 11:25PM." BLONDE: (confused look on face) "You know, it's the weirdest thing, I've as= ked that question thirty times today, and every time someone gives me a dif= ferent answer." Grandfathers [http://origin.ih.constantcontact.com/fs007/1101938345415/img/307.jpg?a=3D1= 102162773312] There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven: a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot, a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build, a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance, a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them, a time to embrace and a time to refrain, a time to search and a time to give up, a time to keep and a time to throw away, a time to tear and a time to mend, a time to be silent and a time to speak, a time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and a time for peace. Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 Single Dads Changes to the Child Support System. There are various changes to the Australian Child Support Scheme. Most of t= hese changes are effective from 1 July 2008. Almost no one is happy with the changes. [http://origin.ih.constantcontact.= com/fs007/1101938345415/img/316.jpg?a=3D1102162773312] For example, neither the custodial parents nor the non-custodial parents ar= e certainly happy with the changes. The only ones who are happy with the changes are the 4,000 odd (1) employee= s of the Child Support Agency. This is because these bureaucrats will have = more resources and more power. One billion Australian dollars is "owed" in outstanding child support as at= 30 June 2008 (2). The changes have been sold to the Australian Government. This is on the bas= is that it will save the Government money and that the current child suppor= t debt will be somehow reduced. However this is an illusion. This is because the punitive action that has been legislated for, will no d= oubt, result in more and more non-custodial parents being forced out of wo= rk (currently about 45 per cent (3) ). This will result in even less child = support being paid. The current child support changes were originally proposed in the Parkinson= Report. The Child Support Secretariat drafted the Parkinson Report. The Ch= ild Support Policy Branch of the Department of Families, Community Services= and Indigenous Affairs (FACSIA) formed a large part of the Secretariat. Patrick Parkinson then signed off on the report. The Australian Child Support Scheme is fully funded by deductions from the = custodial parents' family tax benefit payments (4). Patrick Parkinson said in a Senate public hearing in 2006 (5) that there we= re going to be reductions in child support payments. However he added that = this would be counter-balanced by an increase in family tax benefits paid t= o the custodial parents (that most non-custodial parents lose from 1 July 2= 008). Parkinson did not highlight that the custodial parents themselves pay for t= he running of the Child Support Scheme. This is through deductions of 50 ce= nts in the dollar to family tax benefit payments to the custodial parents. Parkinson also did not highlight that the definition of income was being ch= anged in the same amendments. This is so that a child support payer child s= upport income may be actually higher than the payer's taxable income. The main reason for the apparent decrease in child support, that Parkinson = referred to, is that there is a 24 per cent reduction in child support. Thi= s is when the contact is above 14 per cent (1 day per week). This theoretical reduction in child support payments is illusionary. The custodial parent can also increase child support payments by 24 per cen= t. This is by reducing contact to below 14 per cent (i.e. below 52 days per= year). As from 1 July 2007, as noted above, the CSA changed the definition of inco= me. For example, fringe benefits will multiplied by a tax factor to gross u= p the income (6). This change will result in some child support assessments= being increased from 1 July 2008. As from 1 July 2009, the CSA will calculate "grossed up" salary sacrifice a= nd investment losses back into the new formula (7). These will not only inc= rease child support amounts to be paid by the child support payer, it will = also decrease the amount of family tax benefit payments to the custodial pa= rent. As a result of the recent legislative changes, the CSA will also have more = legislative power. For example, the CSA will have a greater ability to make a registrar-initia= ted assessments. As a result, more and more child support payers will find = themselves in greater debt. These non-custodial parents will simply dig themselves in deeper. No one wins (other than the CSA as noted above) The Government has not solved the problem. The solution is with both parent= s being involved in the decision-making process. This is without the involv= ement of the Government. Our Government has not realised this yet. John Flanagan Deputy Registered Officer Non-Custodial Parents Party (Equal Parenting)[http://origin.ih.constantcont= act.com/fs007/1101938345415/img/317.jpg?a=3D1102162773312] NOTES 1) There were 3,452 CSA employees in June 2006. 2) The Net Child Support debt was $801,200,000 in June 2006. 3) There were 333,610 child support payers (43.2 pre cent) effectively = unemployed in June 2006 and increasing at the rate of approximately 2 per c= ent per annum. 4) The funds clawed back from family tax benefits were $539,000,000 in = June 2006. 5) Senate Community Affairs Committee inquiry into the Child Support Le= gislation Amendment (Reform of the Child Support Scheme -New Formula and Ot= her Measures) Bill 2006. The Public Hearing was held on Wednesday 4 October= 2006 in Canberra. Both Patrick Parkinson and representatives of the Child = Support Policy Branch were before the Senate Committee 6) As a result of changes made by the Child Support Legislation Amendme= nt (Reform of the Child Support Scheme -New Formula and Other Measures) Bil= l 2006. Net fringe benefits are grossed up by a multiple of either 1.9417 o= r 2.1292. This is before fringe benefits are added back into the child supp= ort income. 7) As from 1 July 2008, the following applies for both payers and payee= s of child support, with respect to salary sacrifice: - (a) Salary =3D $35,000 per annum. If the salary sacrifice component =3D $14,500, then the income for ch= ild support purposes is grossed up to $47,603 per annum. (b) Salary =3D $40,000 per annum If the salary sacrifice component =3D $14,500, then the income for ch= ild support purposes is grossed up to $52,603 per annum. (c) Salary =3D $45,000 per annum If the salary sacrifice component =3D $14,500, then the income for ch= ild support purposes is grossed up to $57,603 per annum. (Ref. Based on the Uniting Care Submission to the Senate Inquiry into = Families, Housing, Community Services and Indigenous Affairs and Other Legi= slation (2008 Budget and Other Measures) Bill 2008) All You Need is Love MARRIAGE COUNSELING MOVES ONLINE By Marilyn Gardner [http://origin.ih.constantcontact.com/fs007/110193834541= 5/img/314.jpg?a=3D1102162773312] When troubles cloud a marriage, couples typically have several options for = resolving their differences. Some work out problems themselves. Others turn= to family and friends for advice. Still others head for a marriage counsel= or's office. Now, in a high-tech world, they have another choice: online marital counsel= ing. A computerized program called eHarmony Marriage seeks to help couples communicate better, rekindle roman= ce, and resolve conflicts more compassionately, says Les Parrott, who creat= ed the program with his wife, Leslie, a marriage and family therapist. The site is an offshoot of the Internet matchmaking service, eHarmony.com. "It's perfect for people not quite at the place to get counseling, who want= to do something practical to improve their relationship," says Dr. Parrott= , a psychology professor at Seattle Pacific University. That 'something practical' begins with a 40-minute online questionnaire cov= ering issues ranging from finances to housework, trust, family relationship= s, and spirituality. Each partner answers separately. Their responses gener= ate a computer report outlining their strengths and weaknesses as a couple. "It will reveal where you guys are really strong and where you will find th= e most benefit if you invest in this area," Parrott says. For instance, "Yo= u do really well in communication until you get to this area 'in-laws'." From that summary, the computer produces a 'marriage action plan' that incl= udes interactive video exercises, articles, and resources. Couples pay for the program, which typically takes six to eight weeks to co= mplete. Users are often in their 30s and 40s. "Women tend to be the first t= o move in this direction," Parrott says. "Men tend to be a bit more oblivio= us to the problems." Although online matchmaking is widely accepted, does Internet marriage coun= seling, with its click-of-the-mouse approach, hold a legitimate place? Diane Sollee, director of the Coalition for Marriage, Family and Couples Ed= ucation in Washington, D.C., thinks it does. Explaining that good counselin= g gives people new information, she says, "You can do that in any medium = =AD face to face, over the phone, by computer." It's also a way to help couples who are far apart,=AD a husband in Iraq, hi= s wife in the United States. "It's very cost-ineffective to require that a couple sit with a therapist i= n a private office, an hour at a time, to get information," says Ms. Sollee= , herself a marriage therapist. "It's more efficient to get that informatio= n on a DVD or a website. You can give couples an assignment: Watch this DVD= . Make a list of your 10 wishes, hopes, dreams for yourselves as a couple. = List five issues that give you the most anxiety. Then if you need more help= , more counseling, more coaching, the two of you can get on the phone with = a counselor." Parrott emphasizes that e-therapy is not a cure-all for every troubled marr= iage. "It's not a substitute for counseling," he says. "If a couple is on t= he brink of divorce or at a huge impasse, they need to see somebody in pers= on." Mort Fertel, founder of Marriage Fitness, an alternative to counseling that= uses a CD audio learning system, acknowledges that face-to-face contact of= fers certain advantages. "{Trust is very important," he says. "People can a= cquire that trust more quickly if they shake hands and look at each other." Noting that a lot of communication takes place nonverbally, he adds, "[A th= erapist] can see physically the couple's dynamics =AD if their arms are cro= ssed or their legs are crossed away from each other." Yet remote counseling offers advantages, too, Mr. Fertel says. People can c= hoose an expert anywhere, regardless of geographical location. For those wh= o find it hard to discuss difficult subjects, "It's easier to get to the he= art of the matter more quickly if you're not sitting face to face." Parrott finds that the No. 1 problem couples struggle with is communication= . Resolving conflict ranks second. "People ask, 'What's the one most importan= t thing I can do to improve my marriage?' We say, practice empathy." For Sollee, finding ways to deal with the nation's 'alarming and unacceptab= le' rate of divorce and family breakdown remains a challenge. "If we know w= e have something that can help couples," she says, "it's our responsibility= to get that information to them in a user-friendly, understandable, afford= able form. I really think the divorce rate can go down, and we can do bette= r." Special Feature Plan Quality Time[http://origin.ih.constantcontact.com/fs007/1101938345415/= img/308.jpg?a=3D1102162773312] by Robin McClure Make Unscheduled Fun with Kids a Priority Do you feel the only time your family is truly together is when you're in t= he car together, shuffling children from one activity to another? Are meals= together eating from bags from a drive-through? Is the only time you enjoy= "down time" when it follows the chaos of getting home, doing homework, get= ting baths, and finally bed--long after the pre-determined bedtime? If that= sounds like you, you are not alone. Child Psychologist and Co-Author Alvin Rosenfield of The Over-Scheduled Chi= ld: Avoiding The Hyper-Parenting Trap, states that family time is often bei= ng sacrificed in American lifestyles in order to fill the child's time with= enrichment activities. He cites one study indicating that unstructured children's activities have = declined by 50 percent over the past 20 years, family dinners have declined= 33 percent, and family vacations have decreased by 28 percent. What are ways you can reduce the parent trap of overscheduling your childre= n? * Make balance a priority and place a premium on time spent together. Creat= e solid relationships among members of the family, and strive for open, non= -hurried, and inviting communication. * Carefully consider the addition of each new activity in your child's life= . Is it something your child really wants to do, or is it perhaps an extens= ion of your own dreams and ambitions? * Serve as a role model for relaxation, enjoyment of leisure activities, an= d quiet times. Demonstrate how "doing nothing" can be enjoyable. * Encourage children to see the balance between work and play. * Have fun with your kids in a playful, creative, and imaginative way. Don'= t make competition a requirement in every activity. Spend time with your ch= ildren with no goal in mind other than spending time together. Remember that your job as a parent is to raise happy children who will beco= me balanced and successful adults! News & Info News Links for Parents[http://origin.ih.constantcontact.com/fs007/110193834= 5415/img/159.jpg?a=3D1102162773312] Drugs first option for Kids Parents have also been warned to ignore alternative treatments, such as die= t and exercise, which the guidelines claim have "limited or no benefit" in = treating ADHD. The draft guidelines have been compiled by the Royal Austral= asian College of Physicians, following a Government review last year. Dangerous fairytales - Kids warned Another example of the ever increasing political correctness being promote= d to children through education! ___________________________________________ [http://origin.ih.constantcontact.com/fs007/1101938345415/img/315.jpg?a=3D1= 102162773312] The 2nd National Conference of the Men's Advisory Network (MAN) will be hel= d from 3-6 August 2008 at the Fremantle Esplanade Hotel. It follows on from= the successful conference held in 2006. The registration booklet containing the program, plus the registration form= are attached. Early bird registrations have been extended to Wednesday, 9 = July 2008. A special discount of 20% applies to four (4) or more registrations from th= e same organisation, provided they are lodged at the same time. MAN has received funding from Lotterywest, which will provide a number of s= cholarships to assist people from Western Australian not-for-profit organis= ations to attend the conference. Information sheet and application form. Dad's Prayer [http://origin.ih.constantcontact.com/fs007/110193834541= 5/img/311.jpg?a=3D1102162773312] Dear God Time is ticking away. Help us grab the moments with our children as Rick Johnson encouraged us to do. Time is money when we are working but when we are with our families Time cannot be bought. As Brian Tracy says, "There is always enough time to do the most important thing". Help me to know what those things are - and then do them. [http://origin.ih.constantcontact.com/fs007/1101938345415/img/312.jpg?a=3D1= 102162773312] Help Us! The Fatherhood Foundation is a Harm Prevention Charity. Fatherlessness and inadequate fathering has been proven to be a source of h= arm. The Fatherhood Foundation helps children by promoting excellence in f= athering. Excellent fathers are in word and deed: responsible, involved, pr= otective, loving and committed to the well-being of their children and thei= r children's mother. If you would like to give financially to the Fatherhood Foundation Public F= und and receive tax deductibility: Fatherhood Foundation Public Fund (Name, address and amount details must be emailed for a receipt for tax ded= uctibility) Westpac Branch Wollongong DONATE ONLINE BSB: 032 695 A/C: 25-5558 Or mail cheque and address details to: PO Box 542 UNANDERRA NSW 2526 AUSTRALIA The Fatherhood Foundation Public Fund is a public fund listed on the Regis= ter of Harm Prevention Charities under Subdivision 30_EA of the Income Tax = Assessment Act 1997. You have received the fathersonline.org newsletter because you have subscri= bed, or you have been subscribed by a friend. If you do not wish to receiv= e future emails, please click the UNSUBSCRIBE button below. Forward email [http://img.constantcontact.com/letters/images/safe_unsubscribe_logo.gif] This email was sent to blane@uow.edu.au by info@fathersonline.org. Update Profile/Email Address | Instant removal with SafeUnsubscribe(tm) | Pri= vacy Policy. Email Marketing= by [http://img.constantcontact.com/letters/images/cc-logo-color-sm.gif] Fatherhood Foundation | P.O. Box 542 | Unanderra | NSW | 2526 | Australia --_000_110216277331211019383454151211894194002scheduler_ Content-Type: text/html; charset="iso-8859-1" Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable
=09
3D"FF
=09
=09
=09 = =09 =09 =09
14th July 2008   =       Inspiring Fathers&= nbsp; Encouraging Families Issue 308
Time is Money 
Dear Brian,

Welc= ome to the Fatherhood Foundation newsletter and email information service f= or the fathers and families as we present Time is Money.

=09
In This Issue
Frontline...Great Fatherhood friends
Laughter..What time is it?
Grandfathers...A time for everything
Single Dads...CSA Changes
All You Need is Love..Online Marriage Counseling
Special Feature...Plan quality time
News & Info..News Links for Parents
Dad's Prayer..Time is ticking away
Next Week&nb= sp;
 Livi= ng for Others
 =09 =09
 
Join our Mailing List!
 
Quick Links

Thought of the Week

<= img name=3D"ACCOUNT.IMAGE.310" border=3D"0" contenteditable=3D"false" alt= =3D"Fast Clock" src=3D"http://origin.ih.constantcontact.com/fs007/110193834= 5415/img/310.jpg?a=3D1102162773312" />
T= here is never enough time to do everything,
but there is always enough= time to do the most important thing.
 
Bri= an Tracy

Frontline
 
<= /font>It's great to have fri= ends. Working in 3D"Manthe = fatherhood movement I am making new friends all over the world. One such fr= iend is Rick Johnson from www.betterdads.= net in the USA. Rick sent me a copy of his book 'Better Dads, Stro= nger Sons - How Fathers Can Guide Boys to Become Men of Character' which I = am currently rereading. Rick Johnson has also just released a new book call= ed 'The Man Whisperer'.
 
I recentl= y phoned Rick to thank him for writing 'Better Dads, Stronger Sons' but sai= d I would have to come to Oregon, USA to shoot him for writing such a book = as 'The Man Whisperer' because my wife has ordered it, is reading it and is= making me pick up my dirty clothes off the floor.  Rick laughed with = me but was quite amazed that the book was already available in Australia. M= y advice is: don't let your wife get hold of it.
 
To whet y= our appetite for Rick's down to earth story telling, here's a piece called = 'Time is Money' from his Better Dads book.
 
As an experienc= ed 'older man', let me give you younger fathers a little advice. That seaso= n comes around once in life, and it is fleeting. If I could do anything ove= r again, I would do a better job of decompressing before I got home from wo= rk so I could enjoy rolling around on the floor for a few minutes with the = little rugrats. Now, with teenagers in the house, it seems as though no one= cares when the old man comes home anymore - that is, unless they need mone= y.
 
A man came home from work late again, tired and irritat= ed, to find his five year old son waiting for him at the door. "Daddy, may = I ask you a question?"
 
"Yeah, sure, what is it?" replied t= he man.
 
"Daddy, how much money do you make an hour?"
=  
"That's none of your business! What makes you ask such a thing?= " the man said angrily.
 
"I just want to know. Please tell = me, how much do you make an hour?" pleaded the little boy.
 
"If you must know, I make twenty dollars an hour."
 
"Oh," = the little boy replied, head bowed. Looking up, he said, "Daddy, may I borr= ow ten dollars, please?"
 
The father was furious. "If the o= nly reason you wanted to know how much money I make is so you can borrow so= me to buy a silly toy or some other nonsense, then you march yourself strai= ght to your room and go to bed. Think about why you're being so selfish. I = work long, hard hours every day and don't have time for such childish games= ."
 
The little boy quietly went to his room and shut the do= or. The man sat down and started to get even madder about the little boy's = questioning. How dare he ask such questions only to get some money!
&n= bsp;
After an hour or so, the man had calmed down and started to think= he might have been a little hard on his son. Maybe he really needed to buy= something with that tyen dollars, and he really didn't ask for money very = often. The man went to the door of the little boy's room and opened the doo= r. "Are you asleep, son?" he asked.
 
"No, Daddy, I'm awake,= " replied the boy.
 
"I've been thinking, maybe I was too h= ard on you earlier," said the man/ "It's been a long day, and I took my agg= ravation out on you. Here's that ten dollars you asked for."
 The little boy sat straight up, beaming. "Oh, thank you, Daddy!" he yell= ed. Then, reaching under his pillow, he pulled out some more crumpled-up bi= lls. The man, seeing that the boy already had money, started to get angry a= gain. The little boy slowly counted out his money, then looked up at the ma= n.
 
"Why did you want more money if you already had some?" = the father grumbled.
 
"Because I didn't have enough, but no= w I do," the little boy replied. "Daddy, I have twenty dollars now. Can I b= uy an hour of your time?" (This story was taken from Inspirational Christia= n Stories and Poems Archive, 'Share Your Time').
 
Y= our kids aren't impressed with all your accomplishments. The only thing tha= t really impresses them is your time and attention. Not spending enough tim= e with our kids creates anger in them. There's really no greater insult tha= n being ignored.
 
To realise that our kids love us, the wan= t to respect us, and they want a relationship with us is a wonderful thing.= "They just may be the only people in the world who want to love you, who w= ant to respect you. With everyone else you have to work for those things. 
Lovework3D"Kid
 Cash in some time with your children. It is something that money can't b= uy!
 
Yours for more time
Warwick Marsh
 
PS On Saturday 6th September 2008, the day before Father's Day, the Fathe= rhood Foundation aims to encourage dads all over Australia to hold 'Dads4ki= ds Fun Events' with their children.
 
We would love these ev= ents to act as a way that dads and kids can do things together and also hav= e a fundraising component for the charitable work of the Fatherhood Foundat= ion.
 
Anyone wishing to help please contact me at info@fatherhood.org.au=
Any ideas on how to make Dads4kids Fun Events happen would be ap= preciated.

 
_________________________________________= ___________________________

Warwick Marsh  has been married to Alison for&nbs= p;32 years. He is the grandfather of two children and father of five childr= en, four boys and one girl, ranging in age from 27 years to 15 years.&= nbsp; Warwick is a musician, songwriter, producer and public speaker who li= kes to think he can still laugh at himself.
=
Laughter
=
On some air bases the Air For= ce3D"Man is on one side of the field and civilian aircraft use the other= side of the field, with the control tower in the middle.

One da= y the tower received a call from an aircraft asking, "What time is it?" The= tower responded, "Who is calling?" The aircraft replied, "What difference = does it make?" The tower replied "It makes a lot of difference.

= 1) If it is an American Airlines flight, it is 3 o'clock.
2) If it is = an Air Force plane, it is 1500 hours.
3) If it is a Navy aircraft, it = is 6 bells.
4) If it is an Army aircraft, the big hand is on the 12 an= d the little hand is on the 3.
5) If it is a Marine Corps aircraft, it= 's Thursday afternoon and 120 minutes to "Happy Hour."   &nb= sp;
_________________________________
 
What Time is it?
BLONDE: "Excuse me, what time is it= right now?"
WOMAN: "It's 11:25PM."
BLONDE: (confused look on face) "Yo= u know, it's the weirdest thing, I've asked that question thirty times toda= y, and every time someone gives me a different answer."
 =    
Grandfathers

3D"Man

  There is a time for everything= ,
       and a season for every activit= y under heaven:
a time to be born and a time to die,
  = ;     a time to plant and a time to uproot,
a time= to kill and a time to heal,
       a t= ime to tear down and a time to build,
a time to weep and a time to lau= gh,
       a time to mourn and a time t= o dance,
a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
&nb= sp;      a time to embrace and a time to refrain,<= br />a time to search and a time to give up,
    =    a time to keep and a time to throw away,
a time to tear a= nd a time to mend,
       a time to be = silent and a time to speak,
a time to love and a time to hate,
&= nbsp;      a time for war and a time for peace. 
Ecclesiastes 3:1-8


Single Dads
Changes to the Child Support System.
 
Th= ere are various changes to the Australian Child Support Scheme. Most of the= se changes are effective from 1 July 2008.
 
Almost no one i= s happy with the changes. 3D"Child_2"<= br /> 
For example, neither the custodial parents nor the non-cus= todial parents are certainly happy with the changes.
 
The = only ones who are happy with the changes are the 4,000 odd (1) employees of= the Child Support Agency. This is because these bureaucrats will have more= resources and more power.
 
One billion Australian dollars = is "owed" in outstanding child support as at 30 June 2008 (2).
 <= br />The changes have been sold to the Australian Government. This is on th= e basis that it will save the Government money and that the curre= nt child support debt will be somehow reduced.
 
However th= is is an illusion.
 
This is because the punitive action th= at has been legislated for, will no doubt, result in  more and more no= n-custodial parents being forced out of work (currently about 45 per cent (= 3) ). This will result in even less child support being paid.
 <= br />The current child support changes were originally proposed in the Park= inson Report. The Child Support Secretariat drafted the Parkinson Report. T= he Child Support Policy Branch of the Department of Families, Community Ser= vices and Indigenous Affairs (FACSIA) formed a large part of the Secretaria= t. 
 
Patrick Parkinson then signed off on the report. =
 
The Australian Child Support Scheme is fully funded by de= ductions from the custodial parents' family tax benefit payments (4).
=  
Patrick Parkinson said in a Senate public hearing in 2006 (5) t= hat there were going to be reductions in child support payments. Howev= er he added that this would be counter-balanced by an increase in fami= ly tax benefits paid to the custodial parents (that most non-custodial pare= nts lose from 1 July 2008). 
 
Parkinson did not highli= ght that the custodial parents themselves pay for the running of the Child = Support Scheme. This is through deductions of 50 cents in the dollar t= o family tax benefit payments to the custodial parents.
 
P= arkinson also did not highlight that the definition of income was being cha= nged in the same amendments. This is so that a child support payer child su= pport income may be actually higher than the payer's taxable income.
=  
The main reason for the apparent decrease in child support, tha= t Parkinson referred to, is that there is a 24 per cent reduction in c= hild support. This is when the contact is above 14 per cent (1 day per week= ). 
 
This theoretical reduction in child support payme= nts is illusionary.
  
The custodial parent can also increase child support payments by = 24 per cent. This is by reducing contact to below 14 per cent (i.e. below 5= 2 days per year).
 
As from 1 July 2007, as noted above, the CSA changed the definition of= income. For example, fringe benefits will multiplied by a tax factor to gr= oss up the income (6). This change will result in some child support assess= ments being increased from 1 July 2008.   
 
As from 1 July 2009, the CSA will calculate "grossed up" salary sacrif= ice and investment losses back into the new formula (7). These will not onl= y increase child support amounts to be paid by the child support payer, it = will also decrease the amount of family tax benefit payments to the custodi= al parent.
 
As a result of the recent legislative changes,= the CSA will also have more legislative power.
 
For = example, the CSA will have a greater ability to make a registrar-= initiated assessments. As a result, more and more child support payers will= find themselves in greater debt.
 
These non-custodial pare= nts will simply dig themselves in deeper.
 
No one wins (ot= her than the CSA as noted above)
 
The Government has not so= lved the problem. The solution is with both parents being involved in the d= ecision-making process. This is without the involvement of the Government.<= br /> 
Our Government has not realised this yet. 
 = ;
John Flanagan
Deputy Registered Officer
Non-Custodial Pare= nts Party (Equal Parenting)3D"Child_1"
 
NOTES
 
1)&nb= sp;    There were 3,452 CSA employees in June 2006.
&nb= sp;
2)     The Net Child Support debt was $801,200= ,000 in June 2006.
 
3)     There were 3= 33,610 child support payers (43.2 pre cent) effectively unemployed in June = 2006 and increasing at the rate of approximately 2 per cent per annum. = ;
 
4)     The funds clawed back from f= amily tax benefits were $539,000,000 in June 2006.
 
5) = ;    Senate Community Affairs Committee inquiry into the Chi= ld Support Legislation Amendment (Reform of the Child Support Scheme -New F= ormula and Other Measures) Bill 2006. The Public Hearing was held on Wednes= day 4 October 2006 in Canberra. Both Patrick Parkinson and representatives = of the Child Support Policy Branch were before the Senate Committee
&n= bsp;
6)     As a result of changes made by the Chi= ld Support Legislation Amendment (Reform of the Child Support Scheme -New F= ormula and Other Measures) Bill 2006. Net fringe benefits are grossed up by= a multiple of either 1.9417 or 2.1292. This is before fringe benefits are = added back into the child support income.
 
7)  &n= bsp;  As from 1 July 2008, the following applies for both payers and p= ayees of child support, with respect to salary sacrifice: -
 
(a) Salary =3D $35,000 per annum.
 
   &nb= sp;  If the salary sacrifice component =3D $14,500, then the income fo= r child support purposes is grossed up to $47,603 per annum.
 (b) Salary =3D $40,000 per annum
 
   &n= bsp;  If the salary sacrifice component =3D $14,500, then the income f= or child support purposes is grossed up to $52,603 per annum.
 (c) Salary =3D $45,000 per annum
 
   &n= bsp;  If the salary sacrifice component =3D $14,500, then the income f= or child support purposes is grossed up to $57,603 per annum.
      (Ref. Based on the Uniting Care Submission to = the Senate Inquiry into Families, Housing, Community Services and Indigenou= s Affairs and Other Legislation (2008 Budget and Other Measures) Bill 2008)=   
 

All You Nee= d is Love
MARRIAGE COUNSELING MOVES ONLINE
=  
By Mar= ilyn Gardner 3D"Couple
 
When troubles cloud a marriage, co= uples typically have several options for resolving their differences. Some = work out problems themselves. Others turn to family and friends for advice.= Still others head for a marriage counselor's office.
 
Now,= in a high-tech world, they have another choice: online marital counseling.= A computerized program called eHarmony Marr= iage seeks to help couples communicate better, rekindle romance, and re= solve conflicts more compassionately, says Les Parrott, who created the pro= gram with his wife, Leslie, a marriage and family therapist.
 The site is an offshoot of the Internet matchmaking service, eHarmony.co= m.
 
"It's perfect for people not quite at the place to get = counseling, who want to do something practical to improve their relationshi= p," says Dr. Parrott, a psychology professor at Seattle Pacific University.=
 
That 'something practical' begins with a 40-minute online= questionnaire covering issues ranging from finances to housework, trust, f= amily relationships, and spirituality. Each partner answers separately. The= ir responses generate a computer report outlining their strengths and weakn= esses as a couple.
 
"It will reveal where you guys are real= ly strong and where you will find the most benefit if you invest in this ar= ea," Parrott says. For instance, "You do really well in communication until= you get to this area 'in-laws'."
 
From that summary, the c= omputer produces a 'marriage action plan' that includes interactive video e= xercises, articles, and resources.
 
Couples pay for the pro= gram, which typically takes six to eight weeks to complete. Users are often= in their 30s and 40s. "Women tend to be the first to move in this directio= n," Parrott says. "Men tend to be a bit more oblivious to the problems." 
Although online matchmaking is widely accepted, does Interne= t marriage counseling, with its click-of-the-mouse approach, hold a legitim= ate place?
 
Diane Sollee, director of the Coalition for Mar= riage, Family and Couples Education in Washington, D.C., thinks it does. Ex= plaining that good counseling gives people new information, she says, "You = can do that in any medium ­ face to face, over the phone, by computer."=
 
It's also a way to help couples who are far apart,­ a= husband in Iraq, his wife in the United States.
 
"It's ver= y cost-ineffective to require that a couple sit with a therapist in a priva= te office, an hour at a time, to get information," says Ms. Sollee, herself= a marriage therapist. "It's more efficient to get that information on a DV= D or a website. You can give couples an assignment: Watch this DVD. Make a = list of your 10 wishes, hopes, dreams for yourselves as a couple. List five= issues that give you the most anxiety. Then if you need more help, more co= unseling, more coaching, the two of you can get on the phone with a counsel= or."
 
Parrott emphasizes that e-therapy is not a cure-all f= or every troubled marriage. "It's not a substitute for counseling," he says= . "If a couple is on the brink of divorce or at a huge impasse, they need t= o see somebody in person."
 
Mort Fertel, founder of Marriag= e Fitness, an alternative to counseling that uses a CD audio learning syste= m, acknowledges that face-to-face contact offers certain advantages. "{Trus= t is very important," he says. "People can acquire that trust more quickly = if they shake hands and look at each other."
 
Noting that a= lot of communication takes place nonverbally, he adds, "[A therapist] can = see physically the couple's dynamics ­ if their arms are crossed or the= ir legs are crossed away from each other."
 
Yet remote coun= seling offers advantages, too, Mr. Fertel says. People can choose an expert= anywhere, regardless of geographical location. For those who find it hard = to discuss difficult subjects, "It's easier to get to the heart of the matt= er more quickly if you're not sitting face to face."
 
Parro= tt finds that the No. 1 problem couples struggle with is communication.
Resolving conflict ranks second. "People ask, 'What's the one most import= ant thing I can do to improve my marriage?' We say, practice empathy."
 
For Sollee, finding ways to deal with the nation's 'alarming a= nd unacceptable' rate of divorce and family breakdown remains a challenge. = "If we know we have something that can help couples," she says, "it's our r= esponsibility to get that information to them in a user-friendly, understan= dable, affordable form. I really think the divorce rate can go down, and we= can do better."

=09
Special Feature
Plan Quality Time=3D"Qualityby Robin McClure =20
 
 
Make Unscheduled Fun with Kids a Priority
Do you= feel the only time your family is truly together is when you're in the car= together, shuffling children from one activity to another? Are meals toget= her eating from bags from a drive-through? Is the only time you enjoy "down= time" when it follows the chaos of getting home, doing homework, getting b= aths, and finally bed--long after the pre-determined bedtime? If that sound= s like you, you are not alone.

Child Psychologist and Co-Author= Alvin Rosenfield of The Over-Scheduled Child: Avoiding The Hyper-Parenting= Trap, states that family time is often being sacrificed in American lifest= yles in order to fill the child's time with enrichment activities.
He cites one study indicating that unstructured children's activities h= ave declined by 50 percent over the past 20 years, family dinners have decl= ined 33 percent, and family vacations have decreased by 28 percent.
<= br />What are ways you can reduce the parent trap of overscheduling your ch= ildren?

* Make balance a priority and place a premium on time s= pent together. Create solid relationships among members of the family, and = strive for open, non-hurried, and inviting communication.

* Car= efully consider the addition of each new activity in your child's life. Is = it something your child really wants to do, or is it perhaps an extension o= f your own dreams and ambitions?

* Serve as a role model for re= laxation, enjoyment of leisure activities, and quiet times. Demonstrate how= "doing nothing" can be enjoyable.

* Encourage children to see = the balance between work and play.

* Have fun with your kids in= a playful, creative, and imaginative way. Don't make competition a require= ment in every activity. Spend time with your children with no goal in mind = other than spending time together.

Remember that your job as a = parent is to raise happy children who will become balanced and successful a= dults!  
 
 News & Info
=
 
News Links= for Parents3D"Man
 
 
Drugs first option for Kids
Parents have also been warned to ignore alternative treatments, = such as diet and exercise, which the guidelines claim have "limited or no b= enefit" in treating ADHD. The draft guidelines have been compiled by the Ro= yal Australasian College of Physicians, following a Government review last = year. 
 
Another example of the ever increasing political  correctness bei= ng promoted to children through education!

___________________________________________
 
3D"Man
           &nbs= p;     
The 2nd National Conference of the Me= n's Advisory Network (MAN) will be held from 3-6 August 2008 at the Fremant= le Esplanade Hotel. It follows on from the successful conference held in 20= 06.

The registration booklet containing the program, plus the re= gistration form are attached. Early bird registrations have been extended t= o Wednesday, 9 July 2008.

A special discount of 20% applies to f= our (4) or more registrations from the same organisation, provided they are= lodged at the same time.

MAN has received funding from Lotteryw= est, which will provide a number of scholarships to assist people from West= ern Australian not-for-profit organisations to attend the conference.
Inf= ormation sheet and application form.



Dad's Prayer

           &nbs= p;       3D"Time_Money"
Dear God
 
Time is ticking away.
Help u= s grab the moments with our children
as Rick Johnson encouraged us to= do.
 
Time is money when we are working
but when we ar= e with our families
Time cannot be bought.
 
As Brian T= racy says,
"There is always enough time
to do the most important = thing".
 
Help me to know
what those things are -
and then do them.=20
3D"Ist =


=09
=09
Help Us!

The Fatherhood Foundation is a Harm Pre= vention Charity.
Fatherlessness and inadequate fathering has been pro= ven to be a source of harm. The Fatherhood Foundation helps children b= y promoting excellence  in fathering. Excellent fathers are in word an= d deed: responsible, involved, protective, loving and committed to the well= -being of their children and their children's mother.

 

If you would like to give financially t= o the Fatherhood Foundation Public Fund and receive tax deductibility:

 

Fatherhood Found= ation Public Fund
(Name, address and amount details must be = emailed for a receipt for tax deductibility)

 


Westpac Branch Wollon= gong            = ;         DONATE ONLINE


BSB: 032 695
A/C: 25-5558
 

Or mail cheque and address details to:<= br />PO Box 542
UNANDERRA  NSW&nbs= p; 2526
AUSTRALIA

 

The Fatherhood Foundation Public Fund&n= bsp; is a public fund listed on the Register of Harm Prevention Charities u= nder Subdivision 30_EA of the Income Tax Assessment Act 1997.=

 

You have received the fatherson= line.org newsletter because you have subscribed, or you have been = subscribed by a friend.  If you do not wish to receive future emails, = please click the UNSUBSCRIBE button below.

=09
=09
=09
3D"Safe
This email was sent to blane@uow.edu.au by in= fo@fathersonline.org.
Fatherhood Foundati= on | P.O. Box 542 | Unanderra | NSW | 2526 | Australia
--_000_110216277331211019383454151211894194002scheduler_--