Received: from evaki.its.uow.edu.au ([130.130.68.32]) by anubis.ad.uow.edu.au with Microsoft SMTPSVC(6.0.3790.3959); Sun, 22 Jun 2008 09:26:08 +1000 Received: from febris-nat.its.uow.edu.au ([130.130.68.210] helo=febris.its.uow.edu.au) by evaki.its.uow.edu.au with esmtp (Exim 4.69) (envelope-from ) id 1KACTA-0001Th-E2 for blane@uow.edu.au; Sun, 22 Jun 2008 09:26:08 +1000 Received: from c3.confirmedcc.com (c3.confirmedcc.com [64.95.77.164]) by febris.its.uow.edu.au (MOS 3.8.5-GA) with ESMTP id LPM69283; Sun, 22 Jun 2008 09:26:04 +1000 (EST) Received: from p1-ws008 (unknown [10.250.0.101]) by c3.confirmedcc.com (Postfix) with ESMTP id A236898BE5 for ; Sat, 21 Jun 2008 23:25:58 +0000 (UTC) Message-ID: <1102137283791.1101938345415.1211.8.103192502@scheduler> Date: Sat, 21 Jun 2008 19:25:58 -0400 (EDT) From: Fatherhood Foundation Reply-To: info@fathersonline.org To: blane@uow.edu.au Subject: Heavyweight Champion promotes Fatherhood Mime-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: multipart/alternative; boundary="----=_Part_27674802_224801125.1214090758943" X-Mailer: Roving Constant Contact 0 (http://www.constantcontact.com) List-Unsubscribe: http://visitor.constantcontact.com/d.jsp?p=un&v=001jm8CFGIzLJHYg-gJRLc-3d90mBLDU8ykXn0smYHSzSTD5H852sDmPQ== X-Return-Path-Hint: ESC1102137283791_1101938345415_1211@in.confirmedcc.com X-Roving-ID: 1101938345415.1211 X-Lumos-SenderID: 1101938345415 X-Roving-CampaignId: 1102137283791 X-Roving-StreamId: 0 X-Junkmail-Status: score=10/49, host=febris.its.uow.edu.au X-Junkmail-SD-Raw: score=unknown, refid=str=0001.0A0B020A.485D8E10.0009,ss=1,fgs=0, ip=64.95.77.164, so=2007-07-31 18:51:00, dmn=5.4.3/2008-02-01 Return-Path: ESC1102137283791_1101938345415_1211@in.confirmedcc.com X-OriginalArrivalTime: 21 Jun 2008 23:26:08.0466 (UTC) FILETIME=[2F0A0320:01C8D3F6] ------=_Part_27674802_224801125.1214090758943 Content-Type: text/plain; charset=iso-8859-1 Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~= ~~~~~ 23rd June 2008 Inspiring Fathers Encouraging Families Issue 305 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~= ~~~~~ Heavyweight Champion Promotes Fatherhood ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~= ~~~~~ Dear Brian, Welcome to the Fatherhood Foundation newsletter and email information servi= ce for the fathers and families as we present our heavyweight champion special In This Issue Frontline...The hardest thing in the world. Laughter..When Men speak Grandfathers...Your life goes swiftly All You Need is Love..The Soul Mate Quest Single Dads...Female Supremacist Courts Special Feature...See'in my Father in me News & Info..News Links for Parents Dad's Prayer..Dad-The greatest title ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~= ~~~~~ Next Week The Things that Matter ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~= ~~~~~ [http://visitor.constantcontact.com/email.jsp?m=3D1101938345415] Join our Mailing List! [http://visitor.constantcontact.com/email.jsp?m=3D11= 01938345415] ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~= ~~~~~ Quick Links Fatherhood Foundation [http://rs6.net/tn.jsp?e=3D001Srugl3TxW29Djzr4Pq42NV= JLaVIEbbHYBZmx82fvD-X5WO0wH9_IyPRRsP3Z_GFnMb1eijpk0snyHLQEpKXa6yUcEPYlTDeW-= OqSZLxiPZNrkXJgeWa3Zw=3D=3D] Dads in Distress [http://rs6.net/tn.jsp?e=3D001Srugl3TxW2-MxgaAWuDGFt6KzvKv= 4NU3wjtZuKDK89vdiQevbzQMImYMDBtqYuE3lJcSatc3mwMQ5ONj-evI8bpV0RvBEXfHSo__KSF= mRFy0OA5O3QS1H6s7m0rQ4MHQ] Men to Men [http://rs6.net/tn.jsp?e=3D001Srugl3TxW28gxTHpxG5hgVWEXZwtwhtCVm= gMP7srlgxcgalVQbXTKUsJI9IqpfPwOalCbi07Lk_TlggvJBD2nCX4_pVR4dlUKszq0RE9U-ZLu= K2s6Kfm2hHrH6yylk7FSeMjm89LZUE=3D] Malachi Global [http://rs6.net/tn.jsp?e=3D001Srugl3TxW28ifwcBS7W4NxyamZVU9O= T7-XzQY-DEUfIXh9SDcpRAEwZyG4elRNTeStS7kWnF5jLJ6zOXAB6aM6Mx8wnnyipQj6-RdBynD= x2I6Zdo76Pg9WqaViLDmqlAD-Mrz-t8wXdMo-Ij3nyyQA=3D=3D] Marriage.com.au [http://rs6.net/tn.jsp?e=3D001Srugl3TxW29YWuXNHS1hQHFvtM1VM= DOTxdqHagkXI2LOHrDCH8KIX0cKxBImesWNEqyQ5M3-Ol7wI3glcJ48SZXSDItE1E5MFss6mV5D= 9YOjNdP-1zKFLg=3D=3D] Mannet [http://rs6.net/tn.jsp?e=3D001Srugl3TxW28m1rmN7mm51uKIfyPU4YaK0pHo89= WbaHmVhSSGMIgiuHXJ2uCAk4hn9hW9mkUUj1aVDN1zAWXTbfNQm9KPEQBq4yM6GLz7Jyii4QCO_= _yHPYYOwRUA7Mik] Living Waters [http://rs6.net/tn.jsp?e=3D001Srugl3TxW2_7O0tcCEZwRKN2122klpY= DVUgSaOyb2G8NjpdTbtGX1oyhcX69yjYjNEG0dBUEc_GK3v00XjgZ6lrhsjIzvNUiAOE4NpASBc= 1f6orGlx83vnIDzFvlHrLc] Care for the Family - UK [http://rs6.net/tn.jsp?e=3D001Srugl3TxW2-1io8tvkAR= x7K_jCyqurjBT5zbjxV0YD9BTWaGLep2blrGkPaNBFfsN-U__002hqEu1JfDA4LmDiqOEdr1Nig= 9a0rt3g-zsmNWqv7OfK6xcQFxU2E1Bjx31ic8T0ApK0s=3D] Wild at Heart [http://rs6.net/tn.jsp?e=3D001Srugl3TxW28ySM0ERdYLxQFwH2Gcxlo= MCg5i0J1V2EU8t7q5UkOOqTuNHf8sB46_GToUQIooA-nH4wj-Y6z_KtaVlyqvAATAkj41H2-0wY= l6L6I5jWUhKQ=3D=3D] CSA Adverts [http://rs6.net/tn.jsp?e=3D001Srugl3TxW29c2k_4WG8QCd1qCXt8Zj15k= -so7ayY70Skqb6Fqc8GltLou_BDs5xYKI_tr7dJLi7CgILjqWxQHMd5RQUDv8f7IMO-oR-fVmfa= GpSelhD1SSAYd68pQNTdZc7q1XJjKmX11BpxiCnQNQ=3D=3D] ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~= ~~~~~ Thought of the Week You must learn to say sorry to your children. George Foreman ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~= ~~~~~ Frontline George Foreman is an Olympic Gold Medalist and is the two time heavy weight= champion of the world. He is the greatest knock out boxer of all time with 68 of hi= s 76=20 wins coming by knock out (KO) decisions. In 1975 George Foreman www.biggeorge.com [http://rs6.net/tn.jsp?e=3D001Srug= l3TxW29jiig-TVjyRzfyMe_3s8UhASL1tMKBtOzB33kcWQU0Kf0wb8TQMHrJ3RC-n_Hu3L_oW1u= JQw68z-iNLYJ5qohs3qdNAuD--v_J-5xiZgUXyQ=3D=3D] fought 5 heavyweight boxers in one night, knocking out 3. He won his first = 40 fights in a row 37 by knockout. He is universally regarded as one of the greatest fighters of all time but = the truth of the matter is that George Foreman will gladly tell you the greatest titl= e he=20 has is 'Dad'. He has 10 children, 5 sons who all have the name George Edwar= d and 5 daughters, who have the name George. He claims in jest, "That being a bo= xer he names his children like that in case he lost his memory later in life." A s= ense=20 of humour is one thing that George has not lost. He claims "Food makes me h= appy. I am on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it." For Father's Day in the USA George Foreman released, 'Fatherhood by George:= [http://rs6.net/tn.jsp?e=3D001Srugl3TxW28wbaX76szJvAD3Zh1aW-5L4cfZDgyoywp_= hatH40IMh-izVHOLf2gP1gJGW9ht6fRT7aaCm79cgBdwXUUoiy5oP2Ca-fSjIGaqySyo-d7vcH-= 6-znVMRl0b4STYiL3iL-SCt7rHg53wlsfS2A9aaGWwZ_FMzYo0jiH6LOSCvVoXAjto6yaEqYJ]H= ard - Won Advice on being a Dad [http://rs6.net/tn.jsp?e=3D001Srugl3TxW28wbaX76= szJvAD3Zh1aW-5L4cfZDgyoywp_hatH40IMh-izVHOLf2gP1gJGW9ht6fRT7aaCm79cgBdwXUUo= iy5oP2Ca-fSjIGaqySyo-d7vcH-6-znVMRl0b4STYiL3iL-SCt7rHg53wlsfS2A9aaGWwZ_FMzY= o0jiH6LOSCvVoXAjto6yaEqYJ]' I haven't read his book but I have seen the video interview [http://rs6.net= /tn.jsp?e=3D001Srugl3TxW2_sD8GfZCOHwgQ0_vETnOTTvFOFJaFr2GL4KQ2o1HHVPVu0fvBm= D7U7XJftJrcMxUhMKqaaWxuLytMQGtj0rHMP1z6LJdzAQ3X6KpVmdkkVI-Q49RzbQtNub8BCMVw= E4XgrqYn30PvkTg=3D=3D] with George that has just been released. I watched it with my wife and we both found it incredibly inspiring. George= 's advice is priceless, but it is his humble and humorous mode of delivery that makes= it all the more interesting - a must see for all dads everywhere. George Foreman is the first to admit he is not without his problems. In the= early part of his career he was known for his nasty streak. This may be reflected= in the fact that he has had 4 failed marriage, however his marriage to Mary Joan M= artelly in 1985 has stood the test of time. Mary Joan has also borne 6 of his 10 ch= ildren. It would seem that George Foreman has come to grips with his predicament be= cause he has said that you can have an ex-wife but you can never have ex-childre= n. Something our family law court system has yet to come to grips with. (Read the amazin= g story by single mum Stephanie Ramage in Single Dads this week.) What really shines on the interview are the testimonies of his children. Hi= s grown daughter Georgetta says on youtube, "Dad has ten kids but growing up he mad= e sure that we all had our special time. There was a time when we had our own days= . There was a Georgetta Day, George II Day or whatever and he took that time out to= make sure you had on that day whatever you wanted to eat or whatever you wanted= to do and he took time to get to know who we were and who we are now." Natalie Foreman tells the story of when she was 4 years of age and her dad = bought a pink bike with training wheels. "I loved it. One day my dad said to me, '= I'm going to take the training wheels off your bike and help you learn to ride on you= r own.' I was so afraid, I thought I was going to fall. He said, 'Don't worry, I wi= ll hold on to the back, you won't fall' and I was riding but I didn't realize that = he had let go and I was riding on my own." Perhaps George Foreman's most priceless advice is towards the end of the cl= ip when he talks about the importance of asking your children's forgiveness when yo= u do=20 the wrong thing. "The hardest thing in the world is to go to your children = and say, 'I am sorry'. But you must learn to say it to your children. 'I am so sorry= for=20 what I have said, would you give me another chance'." Lovework Practice saying sorry in the mirror to yourself when you are alone. It will= then come easier to you in real life. You don't have to knock out 68 people to = say it, but if you don't learn how to say sorry soon you might knock your children = out of the race of life. Those words, "I am sorry" bring healing to the heart and = save=20 us getting knocked out by pride and knocking others out in the process. Yours for less knock-outs Warwick Marsh PS Later this week I will be writing you a special letter. I trust you can = find=20 time to read it in your busy schedule. ____________________________________________________________________ Warwick Marsh has been married to Alison for 32 years. He is the grandfath= er of two children and father of five children, four boys and one girl, ranging = in age from 27 years to 15 years. Warwick is a musician, songwriter, producer and= public speaker who likes to think he can still laugh at himself. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~= ~~~~~ Laughter When Men speak: The exchange between Churchill and Lady Astor: She said, 'If you were my husband, I'd give you poison,' and he said, 'If y= ou were my wife, I'd take it.' Gladstone, a member of Parliament, to Benjamin Disraeli: 'Sir, you will either die on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease.' 'That depends, sir,' said Disraeli, 'On whether I embrace your policies or= your mistress.' 'He had delusions of adequacy.' Walter Kerr 'He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.' Winsto= n Churchill. 'A modest little person, with much to be modest about.' Winston Churchil= l 'I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great ple= asure.' Clarence Darrow 'He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dict= ionary.' William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway). 'Poor Faulkner. Does he really think big emotions come from big words?' = Ernest Hemingway (about William Faulkner) 'He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know.' = Abraham Lincoln 'I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of= it.' Mark Twain 'He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.' Oscar Wild= e 'I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a frie= nd.... if you have one.' George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill 'Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second... if there is one= .' Winston Churchill, in response. 'I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here.' Steph= en Bishop 'He is a self-made man and worships his creator.' John Bright 'He is not only dull himself, he is the cause of dullness in others.' Samue= l Johnson 'He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up.' Paul Keating 'There's nothing wrong with you that reincarnation won't cure. Jack E. Leo= nard 'He has the attention span of a lightning bolt.' Robert Redford 'They never open their mouths without subtracting from the sum of human kno= wledge.' Thomas Brackett Reed 'In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily.' Charl= es, Count Telleyrand 'He loves nature in spite of what it did to him.' Forrest Tucker 'Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?'= - Mark Twain 'Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.' Oscar W= ilde 'He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts - for support rather t= han illumination.' Andrew Lang (1844-1912) 'He has Van Gogh's ear for music.' Billy Wilder 'I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it.' Groucho M= arx ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~= ~~~~~ Grandfathers Your life goes so swiftly. You wake up one day you're a teenager, next day you are a grandfather. George Foreman ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~= ~~~~~ All You Need is Love The Soul Mate Quest It sounds so romantic: 'Destiny' has each of us perfectly matched with some= one with whom we will form an instant rapport. All we need to do is find that specia= l someone and bliss will surely follow. All our heartache, all our problems will be h= istory as we lose ourselves in the rapture of each other's love... The Soul Mate Quest has become somewhat of an obsession in our society. Sin= gles=20 hold out for it, Hollywood gets rich on it and disillusioned couples abando= n perfectly normal marriages for it. The truth is the soul mate quest is more fantasy t= han reality... and holding onto this myth will more often deliver disillusionment and pain= than the promised ecstasy of perfect, unending love. The Soul Mate Quest implies that sustaining a successful relationship is ef= fortless: find the right person and everlasting happiness will follow. Yet no real re= lationship can survive for long without active investment and conscious self-sacrifice= ... true love is about giving rather than getting. When a relationship inevitably gi= ves us grief, rather than helping us to be resilient, the Soul Mate Quest numbs us= to growth... "it's not my fault" we tell ourselves, "we just chose the wrong person". The implication of the Soul Mate Quest is that the other person is expected= to be 'my everything'. People expect their 'Soul Mate' to meet their every need -= to be a best friend, an ideal lover, a healer of past wounds, a dedicated cheer s= quad=20 for their personal development, a companion for their every interest, their= intellectual, physical, social equal in every way. It's an impossible job description and= a nightmare for anyone foolish enough to think they can fulfil it. 'Soul Mate Believers' are far too quick to pass over a perfectly good marri= age prospect, or give up on a perfectly normal marriage, for the fallacy that there must = be someone else out there who is 'The One'. Take a reality check: put the Soul Mate fa= ntasy aside and start living the relationships you've got instead of wishing on = a star for something that will never satisfy anyway. =A9 2008 Celebrate Love Australia. Authors: Francine & Byron Pirola. www.CelebrateLove.com.au [http://rs6.net/tn.jsp?e=3D001Srugl3TxW28gCUTn_Y4L= kfK-NV_LFu5SSIbfu1YnjXKWFzfxcQ3y2jyUnlij8NVTiLlSrOPqN5BpoP0PbZSS21KoVJdQ3IL= 0spmjwSArfQGs5WbLAIiiq523t5pzVb1m] ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~= ~~~~~ Single Dads Editor's note: Reading this article I could not contain the tears. God help= me and help our society!!!!! What have we become? But thank God for brave individu= als who do have a heart and do have a conscience. We honour Simon Hunt, who sent us= this article, for his fight for the truth and Justice for the children of Austr= alia. Keep up the great work. This article's honesty is searing. Stephanie is a = great woman. Oh for a thousand like her. Georgia's female-supremacist family courts By Stephanie Ramage 15 June 2008 Father's Day will have passed by the time you read this, but as I write it,= I'm=20 making a mental note to take my son shopping for a gift for his dad. My ex-husband and I divorced when our son was a toddler, and we got what my= attorney called Georgia's "standard boilerplate custody agreement." It gave me custo= dy of our son 70 percent of the time. My son's father basically got to see him o= n weekends. But as I looked around at other divorced moms, I became almost panicked by = what=20 I saw: sons who seethed with resentment against their mothers, whom they fe= lt sure had driven away their fathers, and daughters who so desperately wanted a da= d in=20 their lives that they would latch on to just about any male authority figur= e who came along. Though in some cases the now-departed dads were truly bad news= , in=20 others, moms merely cooked up tales of atrocities committed by their former= hubbies as part of a propaganda campaign designed to justify Daddy's exile to their= children. When I asked why a father isn't as much of a parent as a mother, those moms= were speechless. Furious, but speechless. A few confided that they were afraid = of what people would think of them if they didn't have majority custody. "Only a mo= m who's a heroin addict doesn't get majority custody and if you tell people it's eq= ual custody, in their minds it's the same," one said. By the time our son was 4, we were already phasing him into shared equal jo= int custody - not a legally hammered-out agreement, mind you, but our own arrangement, = based on a mutual desire that our child not be deprived of either of us, no matt= er our personal grievances against each another. Such informal arrangements are no= t a matter of public record, so when the courts look at the number of shared equal joi= nt custody agreements, they draw the conclusion that it's a rare thing. It's not, but = most=20 of the people who eventually do it have no interest in going back to an adv= ersarial legal system where only the attorneys win to make it official. Our arrangement has worked beautifully for our son. It has also, quite fran= kly,=20 required substantial sacrifice by my ex-husband and I. I have turned down h= alf a dozen job offers that would have required me to move out of state - taking= my son away from the man who means more to him than anything. I remember once, several years ago, getting the job offer of a lifetime, on= e that was just astoundingly good. And it came at a time when I really needed some= thing good to happen; I was working two part-time jobs to make ends meet. An old= friend had risen in the ranks of his organization, and when there was an opening, = he remembered me, recommended me and was assured that I could cakewalk my way into the pr= estigious position, located about a thousand miles from Atlanta. It would pay three t= imes=20 as much as I had ever made in my life, but he needed an answer within the w= eek. I stayed up nights wondering what to do. Finally, I talked with a couple of= relatives who told me, "One day your son is going to grow up and go away and what wil= l you have? Be smart, take the job. You know the courts will let you take him wi= th you. You're his mom." Friends also said "Take it." No one, not one person, said,= "But what about his dad?" The next day, I met my ex-husband to talk with him about working out a new = visitation schedule based on my anticipated move halfway across the country. As I trie= d to=20 make my point, I could hear my voice, like the voice of a stranger, oozing = across the table, and I felt ashamed. My heart was listening and, no matter which = words I chose, what it heard was: "I am a selfish woman who would willingly ruin= her=20 son's happiness by taking him away from you, his father, for the sake of a = big,=20 fat paycheck and a respectable job. I am greedy and heartless and too self-= absorbed to even acknowledge how important you are to him." I felt my face redden and tears stung my eyes. I blurted an apology, said s= omething like "Never mind, forget it. Just forget I ever said anything," and excused= myself. I emailed my friend as soon as I got home, saying, "I can't take the job. M= y son's life is here and mine is with him." I love my son with the profound love that just about any parent feels for a= child, but the greatest example that I have of that love is my decision to share h= is time equally with his father. (By the way, I have never, ever regretted my decis= ion not to take that job.) As my son has grown with both his dad and I as equal partners in his life -= spending one week with Dad and the next with me (and seeing each of us sometimes whe= n it's not "our week") - I have reaped more joy in his well-being than any paychec= k could have given me. I know it's not for everyone, but this arrangement has certa= inly=20 worked for my son. When I consider Georgia's family law policies and that "boilerplate" agreem= ent,=20 I am struck by the idea that even in our criminal courts, a person is presu= med innocent until proven guilty, but in our family courts, a father is usually presumed= to be guilty of not being as good a parent as a mother, of not being worthy of eq= ual time with his children. It is strange to me that women are treated only as if th= ey have divorced their spouses, but men are treated as if they have divorced their = children as well. Women, by virtue of their gender, something as arbitrary as the co= lor of their skin, are assumed to be the rightful custodial parents. I don't belie= ve that children were intended to have just one parent, although some single moms, = out of necessity, have done an amazing job of raising their children alone. Nor do= I believe that fathers are less important than moms. If ours is an egalitarian society, then why do we allow an ideology of fema= le supremacy in the decisions of our family courts? A brilliant political scientist at Stanford University told me recently tha= t he=20 believes our laws reflect not necessarily the kind of society we are, but t= he kind of society we aspire to be. If that is indeed the intention behind our laws= , then isn't it the purpose of our family laws to mitigate, as much as is possible= , the damage done by divorce? Georgia's laws cannot put a married couple back to= gether again, but they can go much further than they do toward making sure that ch= ildren have both parents even after a divorce. Read the full article here [http://rs6.net/tn.jsp?e=3D001Srugl3TxW2-j911nN= Js-cEvk74pAfZpxIef3hjZFXFzIoYNrf9pn8bVZFUFu4dqC3X9vO5gbq076M_Ji3l8k6GDJBhl5= uNWW5cvy2sH_nBqCRXuO3BO8sT5UD3qrYlpdqkpkMz4VNSakFW2GXj6MeiqaqZdZFbCtqnWwjF8= UNqoWVvVXBKaGFJcOvmxy4DM8oZlisVVq83eaC1oczAJ1zsP0vih2JI4FOeDgiSrUVgsUDWofoY= wJ-o-APb3OknI79IopetZzbzvFS_ehXDMmIfRWN-Vl9ySZ] ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~= ~~~~~ Special Feature Seein' My Father In Me By Coach Dave Daubenmire June 19, 2008 NewsWithViews.com I'm seein' my father in me. I guess that's how it's meant to be And I find I'm more and more like him each day I notice I walk the way he walks. I notice I talk the way he talks I'm startin' to see my father in me. Paul Overstreet I just celebrated the third Father's Day since the death of my dad. He was = a good ole boy, my father, Frank. Raised in the days of the Great Depression, one of eight children, Dad's te= enage desire was to play for the New York Yankees. But like so many of his gener= ation, those dreams were exploded by the bombing of Pearl Harbor, followed by marr= iage=20 and childbirth, and a lifetime of enjoying the grandchildren we had given h= im. That was his reward. I missed "Opie Frank" more than usual last weekend. I appreciate so much wh= at he sacrificed for all of us. I remember the night that Dad died. Seventy-five years of cigarette smoking= and=20 a fear of doctors finally claimed him at the age of eighty-four. For days w= e knew the end was near and as his final journey was commencing, we had time to ga= ther=20 a room full of children and grandchildren around his bed and sing hymns as = Dad was ushered into eternity. It is a journey we all must make and it was special = time=20 for our family to share with him. But I was particularly struck that evening, as I watched those gathered mou= rn the loss of "Opie," of what it was that his life had meant. Proverbs tells us "= A good man leaves an inheritance to his children's children..." and as I surveyed = the scene around his bed I hoped he knew the legacy he had bestowed. He didn't leave = us any money because he had spent it all on us while he was alive, but the message= of his life echoed through the voices of the progeny that burst from his loins and= shined through the tears that were shed around the hospital bed. "We love you Opie," His grandkids took turns whispering in his ear and kiss= ing him on the cheek. That was it...that was my dad's legacy. Unconditional, self-sacrificing lov= e was the inheritance that he left us. "Greater love has no man than this...he s= pent=20 his life for his family. A member of what Tom Brokaw coined, "The Greatest Generation," in many ways= they were. They conquered Hitler, Stalin, Mussolini, and Hirohito. They created= an interstate highway system that transported and transformed the nation. They took us fr= om the Mercury Program to "the Eagle has landed," from the Model A Ford to the Mus= tang, from the black and white Philco to the Wonderful World of Disney. They spl= it the atom, created the most powerful economic machine the world had ever seen, a= nd broadcast live sporting events around the world. But if the truth were to be told, in many ways, the Greatest Generation, wa= sn't. In their desire to create a better life for their children, they traded ch= aracter for comfort. They transferred their wealth but not their values. The childr= en of the Greatest Generation ushered in the sexual revolution. The brave men th= at stormed the beaches at Normandy produced the Hippie Generation. What went wrong? My dad was my hero. He coached our Little League team, taught me to hook a = bass=20 and hunt a squirrel, to mow the yard and play poker. He was diligent in goi= ng to church and made sure our shoes were shined when we put on our Sunday best.= But=20 there was a side of my Dad that I never knew, a door to his soul that was n= ever=20 opened. I realized the night that he slipped away that there was so much ab= out him that I didn't know. But we never questioned his love. Whatever he had to do to get us a new bal= l glove, or pair of shoes, he willingly did. We all knew that our Dad loved us. We grew up in the age of "Father Knows Best" and "Leave It to Beaver" but f= or most of the Boomers, Robert Young and Ward Cleaver bore little resemblance to th= e man who sat at the head of their dinner table. First Elvis, then the Beatles, = followed by Playboy Magazine and Woodstock; what parent knew how to combat such an o= nslaught? So Dad turned the raising of the family over to Mom and he worked even hard= er. Slowly his fatherly influence waned in the home. Mom ran the house, Dad brought home the bacon. So many times when we went t= o Dad for advice he would say, "Go ask your mother." As I stood over his bed tha= t evening I realized that there was so much about him that was a mystery. I would hav= e liked to have known him so much deeper. (to be continued next week) =A9 2008 Dave Daubenmire - All Rights Reserved ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~= ~~~~~ News & Info News Links for Parents New Parents to get TWO years Off [http://rs6.net/tn.jsp?e=3D001Srugl3TxW2-n= OIJpNu4KPKOGRtdZxPWI5xc63FDu59_MLkfOVcio2MXy6LIO651w5VkoHQtijIoslmXVFGFVV4a= 98CMFRlUneuOIT0SFbWxtsfIc9L0klpP1KdjUM2g18LXAwYfEZNjOuKbcAaeAlT9YzrajJjx-5_= MOYoHGB1bUDPUqx0VvjQ=3D=3D] Dad forced to choose which twin to die [http://rs6.net/tn.jsp?e=3D001Srugl3= TxW28GGjV3Pgbevln76xQu7EluvzZehlsNGFoPKu7gB61QS4Y3tc0uZEa2N4TIUpWYSyjXKW_3S= mTK-MXWrWm-imTuhpR_QKQLCsS_A9j9egqb86P38cPGqZ7FWUcco_yrlj4aQWo2HITZo2DBsj9N= PWAI7TME6CcjhLs=3D] Mothers anguish expressed on Parenting website [http://rs6.net/tn.jsp?e=3D0= 01Srugl3TxW28B24mUR0Fhu7aW5Cd2rcwrgPWxyckZjOBOjqoOQgLSd_eJISrrFjK1YtzsAZ722= 3AAV3MI-xR9xjFfZ8TLLJebPPB_j5rU1X-Jxn7OKRJd_kp2AOHN0jpkvSMVJguhudUz3pCaCwjb= xjf5F9bZHYtaxzPNqL2eMRI=3D] Daughter and Father ordeal [http://rs6.net/tn.jsp?e=3D001Srugl3TxW2-W8jCjhR= MX_gvzC-kXcXrEmJA8J6XgR2OOCLbakNkBb3tAahahTkBaR7fF-wl0btl6OMbGCDxRCWfHoKK9d= Oa33RzcV3I1cDeUkcPphoLvoyKt1PnaTrUmhtJUBJ-E-_kWX6sl8KfcHdkS5Hx3Zonar-dug135= Jyo=3D] Dad saves Son, sends him to Jail [http://rs6.net/tn.jsp?e=3D001Srugl3TxW29n= xRYhnZj3EnXBY18Az_FEmP9fz-KaiXPKTdKhknSeO221B4cDjPB-Gbi3hUSIwKSg_VQ4PW8jnQL= e6T826aO6JP-YLsie-dsMRJxERCqyqBTRz-AePUgcGDWj89Otj3N4PMpGscsK8zT2tvacX6IBtW= Ja6k2EpZA=3D] Parents banned (in Australia) from taking kids snaps! Australian Obesity Epidemic Story and video [http://rs6.net/tn.jsp?e=3D001S= rugl3TxW2-JmYiagdYPis_BxLNa733slTxTe5mdKprPJIRxcTHmXJ7eUd93PXcRW2Hvy5jYa5iN= 3usfEd_98kPM7ulyWOq6WlPgv2CFmpxTHiFGiBUpD0XOp_JwA0_01TFncI5LOaKO-Bh0bnDZFc3= phgBmZYcq_GRA165fU84=3D] Hillsong Family Conference - Register here [http://rs6.net/tn.jsp?e=3D001Sr= ugl3TxW28ot_Fg4KcTx34skysDmAJqSfmNrRwYdQOI64nF-FpdR3jQzZqIbb7N7efX7-7sQ68IA= L86iLVnaL_l0gv30JS1Gzq0ICeOTkSrGf_jsXKF7Py8t1M_2T5Tlg_yWD8oLCNNkUiXQgKRM9V3= OK6_1gPR] Letters Dear Fatherhood Foundation I hate your commercials - every time I see one I turn it off - it is garbag= e - real fathers aren't like that. SL ______________________ Dear Fatherhood Foundation I just wanted to drop you a line to encourage you in the news letter and wo= rk you do for men throughout Australia. I find it very encouraging to hear the stories of men in the same situation= as I am in and to know that people do care. You news letter remains on my email at work and I visit it through out the = weeks frequently and find it up lifting and of great benefit. I heard you speak at The Door Of Hope Church in Launceston and enjoyed your= presentation very much. So please be encouraged knowing what you do is so very much appr= eciated and worth while. Regards Greg _______________________ Dear Fatherhood Foundation My husband has been getting your letter for a while now - he rarely reads i= t, as he's busy. I enjoy it! How many wives and mothers are out there like me? The reason I'm writing now is to congratulate you on your work - colourful,= interesting, fun, well-researched but mainly to say BRAVO for addressing men's health. N= o doubt you heard today's news about Aussies now being fatter than Americans, and t= he majority are men! I have my own theories on this one-but what YOU are doing is great= . Man to man about hamburgers! Regards Glenda ______________________ Dear Fatherhood Foundation I congratulate you on a very balanced and positive response to the announce= ment=20 of a Men's Health Policy. ms _______________________ Dear Fatherhood Foundation Great newsletter as usual Warwick & team! I too think 2002 was an important year for men's work. It was for me anyway= - the year I created Pit Stop 'parenting tune-up for fathers who like to see thei= r family firing on all cylinders' (which is now spreading state-wide in Victoria). Keep up the fabulous job at the helm of the men's movement in Australia. We= need you. Rob Koch ______________________ Dear Fatherhood Foundation Thanks for the information about the Miscellaneous Acts Amendment Legislati= on. I have been away - I am quite distressed that such legislation could be in= troduced in such an underhanded way. Party lines should not apply in such an issue a= s this. It is to be hoped that the Act can be repealed. It is amazing that such le= gislation can be brought in without open discussion. There must be a powerful hidden = lobby. Regards Jim ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~= ~~~~~ Dad's Prayer Dear God The greatest title I can ever have is 'Dad'. Those who call me that need to know it is the truth. If I can be a good Dad to my children, then perhaps they can be good dads to their children and together we can change the world, One father at a time. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~= ~~~~~ Help Us! The Fatherhood Foundation is a Harm Prevention Charity. Fatherlessness and inadequate fathering has been proven to be a source of h= arm.=20 The Fatherhood Foundation helps children by promoting excellence in father= ing.=20 Excellent fathers are in word and deed: responsible, involved, protective, = loving and committed to the well-being of their children and their children's moth= er. If you would like to give financially to the Fatherhood Foundation Public F= und and receive tax deductibility: Fatherhood Foundation Public Fund (Name, address and amount details must be emailed for a receipt for tax ded= uctibility) Westpac Branch Wollongong DONATE ONLINE [http://rs6.net= /tn.jsp?e=3D001Srugl3TxW29UY40M5ZSeb6T8VWWT8ccyvJ0krUhMPeaQBGzmJU2elqFMpZc_= jj2OUNQ4mitewWOAm6KSoQ_lfQ0pHDmp0i7AMEKewflfvww6LAiCXalq37wzf6ZnK6K92HFrM18= u5c3Sw9qpkUMLyg=3D=3D] BSB: 032 695 A/C: 25-5558 Or mail cheque and address details to: PO Box 542 UNANDERRA NSW 2526 AUSTRALIA The Fatherhood Foundation Public Fund is a public fund listed on the Regis= ter of Harm Prevention Charities under Subdivision 30_EA of the Income Tax Assessm= ent Act 1997. You have received the fathersonline.org newsletter because you have subscri= bed,=20 or you have been subscribed by a friend. If you do not wish to receive fut= ure emails, please click the UNSUBSCRIBE button below. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~= ~~~~~ Forward email http://ui.constantcontact.com/sa/fwtf.jsp?m=3D1101938345415&ea=3Dblane@uow.= edu.au&a=3D1102137283791 This email was sent to blane@uow.edu.au, by info@fathersonline.org Update Profile/Email Address http://visitor.constantcontact.com/d.jsp?v=3D001jm8CFGIzLJHYg-gJRLc-3d90mBL= DU8ykXn0smYHSzSQGmLBK3hPZsRdlL520LYJ9FMN9jR05cRUaLldG9K0fdQ%3D%3D&p=3Doo Instant removal with SafeUnsubscribe(TM) http://visitor.constantcontact.com/d.jsp?v=3D001jm8CFGIzLJHYg-gJRLc-3d90mBL= DU8ykXn0smYHSzSQGmLBK3hPZsRdlL520LYJ9FMN9jR05cRUaLldG9K0fdQ%3D%3D&p=3Dun Privacy Policy: http://ui.constantcontact.com/roving/CCPrivacyPolicy.jsp Email Marketing by Constant Contact(R) www.constantcontact.com Fatherhood Foundation | P.O. Box 542 | Unanderra | NSW | 2526 | Australia ------=_Part_27674802_224801125.1214090758943 Content-Type: text/html; charset=iso-8859-1 Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable
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3D"FF
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23rd  June 2008 &= nbsp;     Inspiring Fathers  Encouraging Families Issue 305
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Heavyweight Champion=
Promotes Fathe= rhood 
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Dear Brian,

Welc= ome to the Fatherhood Foundation newsletter and email information service f= or the fathers and families as we present our heavyweight champion spe= cial

=09=09 =09=09 =09=09 =09=09=09 =09=09 =09=09 =09=09=09 =09=09=09 =09=09 =09=09=09 =09=09 =09=09=09 =09=09=09 =09=09 =09=09=09 =09=09 =09=09=09 =09=09 =09=09=09 =09=09 =09=09
In This Issue
Frontline...The hardest thing in the world. =09=09
Laughter..When Men speak
Grandfathers...Your life goes swiftly
All You Need is Love..The Soul Mate Quest =09=09
Single Dads...Female Supremacist Courts
Special Feature...See'in my Father in me
News & Info..News Links for Parents
Dad's Prayer..Dad-The greatest title
Next Week&nb= sp;
 The = Things that Matter
 =09=09=09=09 =09=09
 
Join our Mailing List!
 
=09=09
Quick Links
=09
=09=09
T= hought of the Week

  3D"George   =  =

 You must learn to say= sorry
 t= o your children.
 
George Foreman

 
  
Frontline
 3D"George
     
George Foreman is an Ol= ympic Gold Medalist and is the two time heavy weight champion of the world.= He is the greatest knock out boxer of all  time with 68 of his 76 win= s coming by knock out (KO) decisions.
 
In 1975 George Fore= man www.biggeorge.com  fought 5 heavyweight boxers in one night, knocking out 3. He won hi= s first 40 fights in a row 37 by knockout.
 
He is universa= lly regarded as one of the greatest fighters of all time but the truth of t= he matter is that George Foreman will gladly tell you the greatest title he= has is 'Dad'. He has 10 children, 5 sons who all have the name George Edwa= rd and 5 daughters, who have the name George. He claims in jest, "That bein= g a boxer he names his children like that in case he lost his memory later = in life." A sense of humour is one thing that George has not lost. He claim= s "Food makes me happy. I am on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it." 
For Father's Day in the USA George Foreman released, 'Fatherhoo= d by George: Hard - Won Advice on being a Dad= ' I haven't read his book but I have seen the video interview with George that has just been released.=
 
I watched it with my wife and we both found it incredibl= y inspiring. George's advice is priceless, but it is his humble and humorou= s mode of delivery that makes it all the more interesting - a must see for = all dads everywhere.
 
George Foreman is the first to admit = he is not without his problems. In the early part of his career he was know= n for his nasty streak. This may be reflected in the fact that he has had 4= failed marriage, however his marriage to Mary Joan Martelly in 1985 has st= ood the test of time. Mary Joan has also borne 6 of his 10 children.
&= nbsp;
It would seem that George Foreman has come to grips with his pre= dicament because he has said that you can have an ex-wife but you can never= have ex-children. Something our family law court system has yet to come to= grips with. (Read the amazing story by single mum Stephanie Ramage in Sing= le Dads this week.)
 
What really shines on the interview ar= e the testimonies of his children. His grown daughter Georgetta says on you= tube, "Dad has ten kids but growing up he made sure that we all had our spe= cial time. There was a time when we had our own days. There was a Georgetta= Day, George II Day or whatever and he took that time out to make sure you = had on that day whatever you wanted to eat or whatever you wanted to do and= he took time to get to know who we were and who we are now."
 Natalie Foreman tells the story of when she was 4 years of age and her = dad bought a pink bike with training wheels. "I loved it. One day my dad sa= id to me, 'I'm going to take the training wheels off your bike and help you= learn to ride on your own.' I was so afraid, I thought I was going to fall= . He said, 'Don't worry, I will hold on to the back, you won't fall' and I = was riding but I didn't realize that he had let go and I was riding on my o= wn."
 
Perhaps George Foreman's most priceless advice is tow= ards the end of the clip when he talks about the importance of asking your = children's forgiveness when you do the wrong thing. "The hardest thing in t= he world is to go to your children and say, 'I am sorry'. But you must lear= n to say it to your children. 'I am so sorry for what I have said, would yo= u give me another chance'."
 
Lovework
 
Practice saying sorr= y in the mirror to yourself when you are alone. It will then come easier to= you in real life. You don't have to knock out 68 people to say it, but if = you don't learn how to say sorry soon you might knock your children out of = the race of life. Those words, "I am sorry" bring healing to the heart and = save us getting knocked out by pride and knocking others out in the process= .
 
Yours for less knock-outs
Warwick Marsh
 =
PS Later this week I will be writing you a special letter. I trust yo= u can find time to read it in your busy schedule.=20
____________________________________________________________________

Warwick Marsh  has been married to Alison for&nbs= p;32 years. He is the grandfather of two children and father of five childr= en, four boys and one girl, ranging in age from 27 years to 15 years.&= nbsp; Warwick is a musician, songwriter, producer and public speaker who li= kes to think he can still laugh at himself.
=09=09
Laughter
=     =20
 When Men speak:= =3D"Man
 
The exchange between Churchill and Lady As= tor:  
  
She said, 'If you were my husband, I'd give you pois= on,' and he said, 'If you were my wife, I'd take it.'
 
Gladstone,  a member of Parliament, to Benj= amin Disraeli:   
 'Sir, you will either die on th= e gallows or of some unspeakable disease.' 
 
'That depends, sir,' said Disraeli,  'On whether I embrace y= our policies or your mistress.'

'He had delusio= ns of adequacy.'  Walter Kerr

'He has all = the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.'   Win= ston Churchill.
  
'A modest little pe= rson, with much to  be modest about.'   Winston Churchill

'I have never killed a man, but I have  re= ad many obituaries with great pleasure.'  Clarence Darrow

'= He has never been known to use a word that might send a re= ader to the dictionary.'  William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway).
'Poor Faulkner.  Does he really think = big emotions come from big words?'   Ernest Hemingway (about Will= iam Faulkner)
  
'He can compress the = most words into the smallest idea of any man I know.'   Abra= ham Lincoln

'I didn't attend the funeral, but I=  sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.'   Mark Twain
'He has no enemies, but is intensely dislik= ed by his friends.'   Oscar Wilde

'I am enclosing two tickets to the first n= ight of my new play; bring a friend....  if you have one.'   Geor= ge Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill

'Cannot possibly attend fi= rst night, will attend second...  if there is one.'  Winston Chur= chill, in response.

'I feel so miserable withou= t you; it's  almost like having you here.' Stephen Bishop

'= He is a self-made man and worships his creator.' John= Bright

'He is not only dull himself, he is the= cause of dullness in others.' Samuel Johnson

'He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up.' Paul Keating

'There's nothing wrong with you that reincarn= ation won't cure.  Jack E. Leonard

'He has= the attention span of a lightning bolt.'  Robert Redford
'They never open their mouths without subtracting= from the sum of human knowledge.' Thomas Brackett  Reed

'<= strong>In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yie= lded easily.'  Charles, Count Telleyrand

'He loves nature in spite of what it  did to him.' Forrest Tucker
=
'Why do you sit there looking like an  envelope= without any address on it?' - Mark Twain

'Some= cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.'   O= scar Wilde

'He uses statistics as a drunken man= uses lamp-posts - for support rather than illumination.'   = Andrew  Lang (1844-1912)

'He has Van Gogh'= s ear for music.'  Billy Wilder

'I've had = a perfectly wonderful evening.    But this wasn't it.'&= nbsp;  Groucho Marx

Grandfathers
   &nbs= p;        3D"Old
Your life goes so swiftl= y.
You wake up one day you're a teenager,
next day you are a gran= dfather.
 
George Foreman

 
All You Nee= d is Love
 The Soul Mate Quest3D"Soul
 
It sounds= so romantic: 'Destiny' has each of us perfectly matched with someone with = whom we will form an instant rapport. All we need to do is find that specia= l someone and bliss will surely follow. All our heartache, all our problems= will be history as we lose ourselves in the rapture of each other's love..= .
 
The Soul Mate Quest has become somewhat of an obsession = in our society. Singles hold out for it, Hollywood gets rich on it and disi= llusioned couples abandon perfectly normal marriages for it. The truth is t= he soul mate quest is more fantasy than reality... and holding onto this my= th will more often deliver disillusionment and pain than the promised ecsta= sy of perfect, unending love.
 
The Soul Mate Quest implies = that sustaining a successful relationship is effortless: find the right per= son and everlasting happiness will follow. Yet no real relationship can sur= vive for long without active investment and conscious self-sacrifice... tru= e love is about giving rather than getting. When a relationship inevitably = gives us grief, rather than helping us to be resilient, the Soul Mate Quest= numbs us to growth... "it's not my fault" we tell ourselves, "we just chos= e the wrong person".
 
The implication of the Soul Mate Que= st is that the other person is expected to be 'my everything'. People expec= t their 'Soul Mate' to meet their every need - to be a best friend, an idea= l lover, a healer of past wounds, a dedicated cheer squad for their persona= l development, a companion for their every interest, their intellectual, ph= ysical, social equal in every way. It's an impossible job description and a= nightmare for anyone foolish enough to think they can fulfil it.
&nbs= p;
'Soul Mate Believers' are far too quick to pass over a perfectly go= od marriage prospect, or give up on a perfectly normal marriage, for the fa= llacy that there must be someone else out there who is 'The One'. Take a re= ality check: put the Soul Mate fantasy aside and start living the relations= hips you've got instead of wishing on a star for something that will never = satisfy anyway. 
 
=A9 2008 Celebrate Love Australia. = Authors: Francine & Byron Pirola.
www.CelebrateLove.com.au
 
 


=
=09=09 =09=09
Single Dads
= Editor's note= : Reading this article I could not contain the tears. God help me and help = our society!!!!! What have we become? But thank God for brave individuals w= ho do have a heart and do have a conscience. We honour Simon Hunt, who sent= us this article, for his fight for the truth and Justice for the children = of Australia. Keep up the great work. This article's honesty is searing. St= ephanie is a great woman. Oh for a thousand like her.
 
Georgia's female-supremacist family = courts
By Stephanie Ramage3D"Feminism"
15 June 2008

Father's Day will have p= assed by the time you read this, but as I write it, I'm making a mental not= e to take my son shopping for a gift for his dad.

My ex-husband = and I divorced when our son was a toddler, and we got what my attorney call= ed Georgia's "standard boilerplate custody agreement." It gave me custody o= f our son 70 percent of the time. My son's father basically got to see him = on weekends.

But as I looked around at other divorced moms, I be= came almost panicked by what I saw: sons who seethed with resentment agains= t their mothers, whom they felt sure had driven away their fathers, and dau= ghters who so desperately wanted a dad in their lives that they would latch= on to just about any male authority figure who came along. Though in some = cases the now-departed dads were truly bad news, in others, moms merely coo= ked up tales of atrocities committed by their former hubbies as part of a p= ropaganda campaign designed to justify Daddy's exile to their children. Whe= n I asked why a father isn't as much of a parent as a mother, those moms we= re speechless. Furious, but speechless. A few confided that they were afrai= d of what people would think of them if they didn't have majority custody. = "Only a mom who's a heroin addict doesn't get majority custody and if you t= ell people it's equal custody, in their minds it's the same," one said.

By the time our son was 4, we were already phasing him into shared = equal joint custody - not a legally hammered-out agreement, mind you, but o= ur own arrangement, based on a mutual desire that our child not be deprived= of either of us, no matter our personal grievances against each another. S= uch informal arrangements are not a matter of public record, so when the co= urts look at the number of shared equal joint custody agreements, they draw= the conclusion that it's a rare thing. It's not, but most of the people wh= o eventually do it have no interest in going back to an adversarial legal s= ystem where only the attorneys win to make it official.

Our arra= ngement has worked beautifully for our son. It has also, quite frankly, req= uired substantial sacrifice by my ex-husband and I. I have turned down half= a dozen job offers that would have required me to move out of state - taki= ng my son away from the man who means more to him than anything.

I remember once, several years ago, getting the job offer of a lifetime, o= ne that was just astoundingly good. And it came at a time when I really nee= ded something good to happen; I was working two part-time jobs to make ends= meet. An old friend had risen in the ranks of his organization, and when t= here was an opening, he remembered me, recommended me and was assured that = I could cakewalk my way into the prestigious position, located about a thou= sand miles from Atlanta. It would pay three times as much as I had ever mad= e in my life, but he needed an answer within the week.

I stayed = up nights wondering what to do. Finally, I talked with a couple of relative= s who told me, "One day your son is going to grow up and go away and what w= ill you have? Be smart, take the job. You know the courts will let you take= him with you. You're his mom." Friends also said "Take it." No one, not on= e person, said, "But what about his dad?"

The next day, I met my= ex-husband to talk with him about working out a new visitation schedule ba= sed on my anticipated move halfway across the country. As I tried to make m= y point, I could hear my voice, like the voice of a stranger, oozing across= the table, and I felt ashamed. My heart was listening and, no matter which= words I chose, what it heard was: "I am a selfish woman who would willingl= y ruin her son's happiness by taking him away from you, his father, for the= sake of a big, fat paycheck and a respectable job. I am greedy and heartle= ss and too self-absorbed to even acknowledge how important you are to him."=

I felt my face redden and tears stung my eyes. I blurted an apo= logy, said something like "Never mind, forget it. Just forget I ever said a= nything," and excused myself. I emailed my friend as soon as I got home, sa= ying, "I can't take the job. My son's life is here and mine is with him."
I love my son with the profound love that just about any parent f= eels for a child, but the greatest example that I have of that love is my d= ecision to share his time equally with his father. (By the way, I have neve= r, ever regretted my decision not to take that job.)

As my son h= as grown with both his dad and I as equal partners in his life - spending o= ne week with Dad and the next with me (and seeing each of us sometimes when= it's not "our week") - I have reaped more joy in his well-being than any p= aycheck could have given me. I know it's not for everyone, but this arrange= ment has certainly worked for my son.

When I consider Georgia's = family law policies and that "boilerplate" agreement, I am struck by the id= ea that even in our criminal courts, a person is presumed innocent until pr= oven guilty, but in our family courts, a father is usually presumed to be g= uilty of not being as good a parent as a mother, of not being worthy of equ= al time with his children. It is strange to me that women are treated only = as if they have divorced their spouses, but men are treated as if they have= divorced their children as well. Women, by virtue of their gender, somethi= ng as arbitrary as the color of their skin, are assumed to be the rightful = custodial parents. I don't believe that children were intended to have just= one parent, although some single moms, out of necessity, have done an amaz= ing job of raising their children alone. Nor do I believe that fathers are = less important than moms.

If ours is an egalitarian society, the= n why do we allow an ideology of female supremacy in the decisions of our f= amily courts?

A brilliant political scientist at Stanford Univer= sity told me recently that he believes our laws reflect not necessarily the= kind of society we are, but the kind of society we aspire to be. If that i= s indeed the intention behind our laws, then isn't it the purpose of our fa= mily laws to mitigate, as much as is possible, the damage done by divorce? = Georgia's laws cannot put a married couple back together again, but they ca= n go much further than they do toward making sure that children have both p= arents even after a divorce.
 
Read the full articl= e here
Special Feature

= Seein' My Father In Me3D"Mirror
By Coach Dave Daubenmire=
June 19, 2008 NewsWithViews.com
 
I'm seein' my fathe= r in me. I guess that's how it's meant to be
And I find I'm more and m= ore like him each day
I notice I walk the way he walks. I notice I tal= k the way he talks
I'm startin' to see my father in me. Paul Overstree= t
I just celebrated the third Father's Day since the death of my dad. = He was a good ole boy, my father, Frank.=20
 

Raised in the days of the Great Depression, one of e= ight children, Dad's teenage desire was to play for the New York Yankees. B= ut like so many of his generation, those dreams were exploded by the bombin= g of Pearl Harbor, followed by marriage and childbirth, and a lifetime of e= njoying the grandchildren we had given him. That was his reward.
I mis= sed "Opie Frank" more than usual last weekend. I appreciate so much what he= sacrificed for all of us.=20
 

I remember the night that Dad died. Seventy-five yea= rs of cigarette smoking and a fear of doctors finally claimed him at the ag= e of eighty-four. For days we knew the end was near and as his final journe= y was commencing, we had time to gather a room full of children and grandch= ildren around his bed and sing hymns as Dad was ushered into eternity. It i= s a journey we all must make and it was special time for our family to shar= e with him.=20
 

But I was particularly struck that evening, as I wat= ched those gathered mourn the loss of "Opie," of what it was that his life = had meant. Proverbs tells us "A good man leaves an inheritance to his child= ren's children..." and as I surveyed the scene around his bed I hoped he kn= ew the legacy he had bestowed. He didn't leave us any money because he had = spent it all on us while he was alive, but the message of his life echoed t= hrough the voices of the progeny that burst from his loins and shined throu= gh the tears that were shed around the hospital bed.
"We love you Opie= ," His grandkids took turns whispering in his ear and kissing him on the ch= eek.=20
 

That was it...that was my dad's legacy. Unconditiona= l, self-sacrificing love was the inheritance that he left us. "Greater love= has no man than this...he spent his life for his family.=20
 

A member of what Tom Brokaw coined, "The Greatest Ge= neration," in many ways they were. They conquered Hitler, Stalin, Mussolini= , and Hirohito. They created an interstate highway system that transported = and transformed the nation. They took us from the Mercury Program to "the E= agle has landed," from the Model A Ford to the Mustang, from the black and = white Philco to the Wonderful World of Disney. They split the atom, created= the most powerful economic machine the world had ever seen, and broadcast = live sporting events around the world.
But if the truth were to be tol= d, in many ways, the Greatest Generation, wasn't. In their desire to create= a better life for their children, they traded character for comfort. They = transferred their wealth but not their values. The children of the Greatest= Generation ushered in the sexual revolution. The brave men that stormed th= e beaches at Normandy produced the Hippie Generation. What went wrong?=20
 

My dad was my hero. He coached our Little League tea= m, taught me to hook a bass and hunt a squirrel, to mow the yard and play p= oker. He was diligent in going to church and made sure our shoes were shine= d when we put on our Sunday best. But there was a side of my Dad that I nev= er knew, a door to his soul that was never opened. I realized the night tha= t he slipped away that there was so much about him that I didn't know.=20
 

But we never questioned his love. Whatever he had to= do to get us a new ball glove, or pair of shoes, he willingly did. We all = knew that our Dad loved us.
We grew up in the age of "Father Knows Bes= t" and "Leave It to Beaver" but for most of the Boomers, Robert Young and W= ard Cleaver bore little resemblance to the man who sat at the head of their= dinner table. First Elvis, then the Beatles, followed by Playboy Magazine = and Woodstock; what parent knew how to combat such an onslaught? So Dad tur= ned the raising of the family over to Mom and he worked even harder. Slowly= his fatherly influence waned in the home.
Mom ran the house, Dad bro= ught home the bacon. So many times when we went to Dad for advice he would = say, "Go ask your mother." As I stood over his bed that evening I realized = that there was so much about him that was a mystery. I would have liked to = have known him so much deeper.
(to be continued next week)
=A9 20= 08 Dave Daubenmire - All Rights Reserved
 News & Info
=
 
News Links for Parents3D"Parenst
 
 
 
 
 
 

Mothers anguish expressed on Parenting website
 
 
 
 
 
 
Parents banned= (in Australia) from taking kids snaps!
 
Australian Obesity Epidemic Story and video
 
 
 
 
Letters
 
Dear Fatherhood Foundation
 
I hate you= r commercials - every time I see one I turn it off - it is garbage - real f= athers aren't like that.
SL
______________________
 Dear Fatherhood Foundation
 
I just wanted to drop you a = line to encourage you in the news letter and work you do for men throughout= Australia.
I find it very encouraging to hear the stories of men in t= he same situation as I am in and to know that people do care.
You news= letter remains on my email at work and I visit it through out the weeks fr= equently and find it up lifting and of great benefit.
I heard you spea= k at The Door Of Hope Church in Launceston and enjoyed your presentation ve= ry much. So please be encouraged knowing what you do is so very much apprec= iated and worth while.
 
Regards
Greg
____________= ___________
 
Dear Fatherhood Foundation
 
My= husband has been getting your letter for a while now - he rarely reads it,= as he's busy. I enjoy it! How many wives and mothers are out there like me= ?
The reason I'm writing now is to congratulate you on your work - col= ourful, interesting, fun, well-researched but mainly to say BRAVO for addre= ssing men's health. No doubt you heard today's news about Aussies now being= fatter than Americans, and the majority are men! I have my own theories on= this one-but what YOU are doing is great. Man to man about hamburgers!
 
Regards
Glenda
______________________
 <= br />Dear Fatherhood Foundation
I congratulate you on a very balanced = and positive response to the announcement of a Men's Health Policy.
m= s
_______________________
 
Dear Fatherhood Foundation<= br /> 
Great newsletter as usual Warwick & team!
 
I too think 2002 was an important year for men's work. It was for me anywa= y - the year I created Pit Stop 'parenting tune-up for fathers who like to = see their family firing on all cylinders' (which is now spreading state-wid= e in Victoria).
 
Keep up the fabulous job at the helm of th= e men's movement in Australia. We need you.

Rob Koch
______= ________________
 
Dear Fatherhood Foundation
 Thanks for the information about the Miscellaneous Acts Amendm= ent Legislation. I have been away  -  I am quite distressed that = such legislation could be introduced in such an underhanded way. Party line= s should not apply in such an issue as this. It is to be hoped that the Act= can be repealed.  It is amazing that such legislation can be brought = in without open discussion. There must be a powerful hidden lobby.
 
Regards
Jim 

Dad's Prayer

           &nbs= p;     3D"Dad_good"
Dear God
&nb= sp;
The greatest title I can ever have is 'Dad'.
Those who call m= e that
need to know it is the truth.
If I can be a good Dad to my= children,
then perhaps they can be good dads to their children
a= nd together we can change the world,
One father at a time.
=09 =09
=09=09 =09=09
Help Us!

The Fatherhood Foundation is a Harm Pre= vention Charity.
Fatherlessness and inadequate fathering has been pro= ven to be a source of harm. The Fatherhood Foundation helps children b= y promoting excellence  in fathering. Excellent fathers are in word an= d deed: responsible, involved, protective, loving and committed to the well= -being of their children and their children's mother.

 

If you would like to give financially t= o the Fatherhood Foundation Public Fund and receive tax deductibility:

 

Fatherhood Found= ation Public Fund
(Name, address and amount details must be = emailed for a receipt for tax deductibility)

 


Westpac Branch Wollon= gong            = ;         DONATE ONLINE


BSB: 032 695
A/C: 25-5558
 

Or mail cheque and address details to:<= br />PO Box 542
UNANDERRA  NSW&nbs= p; 2526
AUSTRALIA

 

The Fatherhood Foundation Public Fund&n= bsp; is a public fund listed on the Register of Harm Prevention Charities u= nder Subdivision 30_EA of the Income Tax Assessment Act 1997.=

 

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This email was sent to blane@uow.edu.au, by i= nfo@fathersonline.org
Fatherhood Foundati= on | P.O. Box 542 | Unanderra | NSW | 2526 | Australia
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