Received: from beru.its.uow.edu.au ([130.130.68.31]) by anubis.ad.uow.edu.au with Microsoft SMTPSVC(6.0.3790.3959); Sun, 30 Mar 2008 09:29:27 +1100 Received: from febris-nat.its.uow.edu.au ([130.130.68.210] helo=febris.its.uow.edu.au) by beru.its.uow.edu.au with esmtp (Exim 4.69) (envelope-from ) id 1JfjYE-0002qn-Vv for blane@uow.edu.au; Sun, 30 Mar 2008 09:29:27 +1100 Received: from c3.confirmedcc.com (c3.confirmedcc.com [64.95.77.164]) by febris.its.uow.edu.au (MOS 3.8.5-GA) with ESMTP id JIU90078; Sun, 30 Mar 2008 08:29:22 +1000 (EST) Received: from p1-ws008 (unknown [10.250.0.101]) by c3.confirmedcc.com (Postfix) with ESMTP id 35DC52300D3 for ; Sat, 29 Mar 2008 17:31:21 -0400 (EDT) Message-ID: <1102029540533.1101938345415.1211.8.123173002@scheduler> Date: Sat, 29 Mar 2008 17:31:21 -0400 (EDT) From: Fatherhood Foundation Reply-To: info@fathersonline.org To: blane@uow.edu.au Subject: The Lost Boys Mime-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: multipart/alternative; boundary="----=_Part_450454_957751982.1206826281192" X-Mailer: Roving Constant Contact 0 (http://www.constantcontact.com) List-Unsubscribe: http://visitor.constantcontact.com/d.jsp?p=un&v=001jm8CFGIzLJHYg-gJRLc-3d90mBLDU8ykKdPR5ghy3Y1yJkCoyy4QtA== X-Return-Path-Hint: ESC1102029540533_1101938345415_1211@in.confirmedcc.com X-Roving-ID: 1101938345415.1211 X-Lumos-SenderID: 1101938345415 X-Roving-CampaignId: 1102029540533 X-Roving-StreamId: 0 X-Junkmail-Status: score=10/49, host=febris.its.uow.edu.au X-Junkmail-SD-Raw: score=unknown, refid=str=0001.0A09020A.47EEC2C6.0231,ss=1,fgs=0, ip=64.95.77.164, so=2007-07-31 18:51:00, dmn=5.4.3/2008-02-01 Return-Path: ESC1102029540533_1101938345415_1211@in.confirmedcc.com X-OriginalArrivalTime: 29 Mar 2008 22:29:27.0218 (UTC) FILETIME=[5909C120:01C891EC] ------=_Part_450454_957751982.1206826281192 Content-Type: text/plain; charset=iso-8859-1 Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~= ~~~~~ 31st March 2008 Inspiring Fathers Encouraging Families Issue 293 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~= ~~~~~ The Lost Boys ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~= ~~~~~ Dear Brian, Welcome to the Fatherhood Foundation newsletter and email information servi= ce for the fathers and families as we look at The Lost Boys In This Issue Frontline...The Lost Boys are coming Laughter..Mens Brains vs Womens Brains Grandfathers...Be a success All You Need is Love..Marriage lowers blood pressure Single Dads...Dads pain Special Feature...Urgent urgent News & Info..Letters Dad's Prayer..Time ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~= ~~~~~ Next Week Going Surfing ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~= ~~~~~ [http://visitor.constantcontact.com/email.jsp?m=3D1101938345415] Join our Mailing List! [http://visitor.constantcontact.com/email.jsp?m=3D11= 01938345415] ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~= ~~~~~ Quick Links Fatherhood Foundation [http://rs6.net/tn.jsp?e=3D001OLxmt-s2OVOCdxvD8r9MvJ= 2oSmXVOvanzl2AP1Jqi3JB21-zh8ViyLvMRl8JLJheQ_e7P-bOZJ1SoV7MA6Dn5t0ix-4jy5WUO= D5ZzSYlGE9ZnXyUeDCrwg=3D=3D] Dads in Distress [http://rs6.net/tn.jsp?e=3D001OLxmt-s2OVOK29hDJJqGu7pZkQ6A= -RoDdLm75qb5XP-O65jLryUd_AcbFR_91I6de9MsPSkfE2fSZdZW7HzoUzCxh52vGYALV6rliUu= fqevlthfTLrbWZQUW98O2x1Fg] Men to Men [http://rs6.net/tn.jsp?e=3D001OLxmt-s2OVM-81E7FgtHggsJtEXy3S9_n6= rtbMVacXi0W4_zEAETb3wCcVVkG64vdH2W6e_1SekWeA6HKmHyNE15V2RsGCpU9eVTg2xIQMYcM= VolWocvXhQvRvMhmjsdpbVdVFIGp5o=3D] Malachi Global [http://rs6.net/tn.jsp?e=3D001OLxmt-s2OVMBx_CcK-oJ6sHc2qZvsx= GS17aAQ6fhRKUY797vDssWD-8HWWUS93JA0VolTlp7qIGaSNwsliZPwlJkpc5AkCuTaKhbBrAqX= B4q7BYBi-bbLGSkxzgQyZrH9g3pJt-t5tTg8XOq5bzmcA=3D=3D] Choicez.com [http://rs6.net/tn.jsp?e=3D001OLxmt-s2OVOAzYEhmHIuf78v2uRENU8ke= X3MNpoRkBjDoo4EBApaTDyMT0JANJqHjIrRpkF8wLbfPYSEbX42ylE1UqRFqaZK1XN4EKjzb-8i= 01KqfxKemQ=3D=3D] Beyond Blue [http://rs6.net/tn.jsp?e=3D001OLxmt-s2OVPnS-4MhSDaIr4-v2krnHI_B= Re8GwsHGJGYx6DuAKTmcASM9HK2-gBSIth8vQEaGLmGQF_b9rzLuEbEJ-lJE5DmI74cgvS81Ova= Cn7gaW5zO_d90skOmQQ_EoEgPST7cdc=3D] Australian Family Association [http://rs6.net/tn.jsp?e=3D001OLxmt-s2OVPB3c0= tR-Gp9-TzqOhhl7IGmWFZpT0zl6waPfO6198GtrHjH5lCY65S7svnGbR0f8kPImqPnZPrpTLNxT= E4Qu4lbqP5CRzLcCPyk5Gfnmmm8g=3D=3D] Fathers & Daughters [http://rs6.net/tn.jsp?e=3D001OLxmt-s2OVOgMR1k3GslcLrdy= -Y57bzdWpWqzK-93Kn2hURqhZ-Fe6J4kkWkfNsDx8vehlmxDLiF803jT47_PPioMOLDERnmtQsx= pRLIke3y_c_t9CmPMNYrc7qU7mVX] Raising Children Network (Aus) [http://rs6.net/tn.jsp?e=3D001OLxmt-s2OVMVn6= 7RiXcxV2w9I1LAxJ1CyAaXs1PpXgE-MYFJCQfJLrWmWtk1jm1SRLFF_JJ-Z7mMggiXPW-33EoxO= Bl6_UGIy82ywt58ArfuPjE1kS5hNLH0rxN_jg4E] CSA Adverts [http://rs6.net/tn.jsp?e=3D001OLxmt-s2OVND-jbgWyli0SK1llN2uPfTx= 80CAlq85AdqcbdyZq84gttJxsuS0AIRn5rcNSJ6id5AApeXNqUalKKw45rOJ_r5j3y-DuAcDEGc= TBf6fhqUCDXjpsgXcxOToKylyuzz0mo3u3_GKtqO-Q=3D=3D] ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~= ~~~~~ Thought of the Week Don't wait. Do it now. See your family now. Take the trips now. Speak your love to them today and every day. Take advantage of the time. Tomorrow may never come. Bob Overton ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~= ~~~~~ Frontline I received an amazing phone call last week from Freemantle Media. This comp= any is the name behind some of Australia's biggest TV shows eg Neighbours, Idol, B= iggest Loser, So You Think You Can Dance and many other top rating shows. Kirsty d= e Vallance is the casting director/consultant for a new show that is still in the deve= lopment stage called 'The Lost Boys'. The Lost Boys is the brainchild of the Cracke= rjack Production's team, Mark and Karl Fennessy. When I read the synopsis of the= proposed TV show I was totally blown away. It is exactly the sort of show that the F= atherhood Foundation would produce if we had the money. Channel Ten are looking at th= e possibility of a 6 to 10 part series. Considering the fact that Channel Ten is also the= producer of Big Brother, one of the most pathetic shows on Australian television, I = was shocked to hear they were planning something like this. Apparently Channel Ten is t= rying to lift its game and connect with the families of Australia in a meaningfu= l way, and not before time. I was so excited by the concept behind the The Lost Boys that I rang up Kar= l Fennessy, one of the executive producers to get the low-down on the show. Karl Fennessy has two children under four years of age and a 13 year old fr= om a=20 previous relationship. I'm guessing that he is no stranger to the pain and = challenges that many fathers are feeling at the beginning of this the 21st century. Ka= rl and his brother Mark have been incubating this idea for the last 3 years and ha= ve been amazed at the response the show has been getting, sight unseen. I enclose t= he synopsis in full with Kirsty de Vallance's contact details below. Kirsty is looking = for comment and fathers and sons who might be interested in going the distance in this = exciting adventure. It looks like fatherhood is about to go mainstream, maybe a lot quicker tha= n we=20 thought. Miracles do happen, the impossible takes a little bit longer. Synopsis - The Lost Boys There are good reasons why modern fathers are estranged from their sons: di= vorce, interstate or overseas work, separation, corporate demands, desertion or di= sinterest. However, it's becoming obvious that there are no good excuses. Boys without= fathers lack the most important male role-model in their lifetime - the person whos= e job it is to show them what it means to be a mate, a husband, a worker, a hero= , a lover and above all, a man. Clearly something must be done to address what has been dubbed 'the most ha= rmful demographic trend of this generation'. The Lost Boys responds to this call= . The Lost Boys is a groundbreaking factual reality series that deals with th= e topic of masculinity through father and son relationships. Five urban, estranged = father and son pairs will re-build their damaged relationships by undertaking one = of the toughest challenges Australia has to offer - to move 500 head of cattle ove= r 200 miles across the outback, in 28 days, living the life of the quintessentia= l Drover. The Drover is an Australian icon that holds relevance for all Australians, = even=20 though most of us are city dwellers. The Lost Boys uses the masculine role-= models and the vast landscape of the outback to heal the social wounds that are im= pacting on our cities. This is a unique opportunity for fathers and sons to spend time together, l= earn=20 together, teach one another, face their fears and earn each other's respect= on a level playing field. Endless, hot days of hard work followed by cold night= s around the campfire combine to create an emotionally charged experience that will = be riveting to watch and relevant to many in the viewing audience. As challenges common= to fathers and sons play out for the participants, those watching from home will be gi= ven insights and practical tools to apply to their own lives. Under the guidance of professional cattle men and adventure therapists, the= participants won't be able to escape the fact that the only way to successfully complete= the=20 task, and claim their pay packet worth thousands, is to get over the past a= nd work together. This is the best chance they'll ever get to build a paternal bond= to ensure that the Lost Boys become found. * * If you would like to participate in this program, please call Kirsty de= Vallance on: 02 9413 8640/ 0403 182293 or email: kirsty@acastofthousands.com.au [mai= lto:kirsty@acastofthousands.com.au] Lovework I asked Karl Fennessy, executive producer of The Lost Boys about his own fa= ther. He said that he had a great family upbringing but even he would have liked= a little bit more time with his Dad whom he loves dearly. Don't we all wish the same= ? That's the message this week: Don't raise lost boys or lost girls. Find your own children before its too = late. Yours for our children Warwick Marsh PS. The media penetration from last week's Men and Father's Health Forum ha= s been astounding. I have never known a story from one of our activities to go so = deep=20 and so broad. Eric Clapton once sang, 'Something's happening, something's g= oing=20 on'. Remember to thank the parliamentarians who supported us in Canberra. I= t will mean a lot to them. Also please pass on Kirsty de Vallance's contact detail= s to=20 other fathers with sons between 15 and 24 who might be interested in appear= ing on TV. Photo:Photo by Sam Abell ___________________________________________________________________________= ___ Warwick Marsh has been married to Alison for 32 years. He is the grandfath= er of two children and father of five children, four boys and one girl, ranging = in age from 27 years to 15 years. Warwick is a musician, songwriter, producer and= public speaker who likes to think he can still laugh at himself. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~= ~~~~~ Laughter To understand why we do what we do have a look at this: Men's Brains vs Women's [http://rs6.net/tn.jsp?e=3D001OLxmt-s2OVN-DvlYQzuM0= a8O2QUTQEeX4AbdrolP2Jhn-zi4cgfNtdJuIEB_TKetaUv0LFPkttV-uKeKlO1dgx4nHtVMpIlP= ps0Vw6Dj_Ar3hxJG3UAcvfWyAt3laTQpg5hh2aFTCGplZ0T9vj92lg=3D=3D] And now the results of the International Husband of the Year 3rd Place GREECE 2nd Place SERBIA 1st place to the Romantic IRISH ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~= ~~~~~ Grandfathers Gentlemen, try not to become men of success. Rather, become men of value. Albert Einstein ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~= ~~~~~ All You Need is Love MARRIAGE MAY LOWER BLOOD PRESSURE By Brittani Lusk 20 March 2008 DAILY HERALD A good friend might be a better listener or manicure buddy, but if you're l= ooking to lower your blood pressure, it might help to get a fiance and head to the= altar. According to a new study released by a Brigham Young University researcher,= those who are happily married have lower blood pressure than singles -- even thos= e with supportive social networks. But there is no evidence the jumps come all at = once, and those who were unhappily married had blood pressure higher than single= s. "I think it could be safely argued that the type of social support within a= marital relationship would be just as important if not more important than support = from=20 social [relationships]," said BYU physiology professor Julianne Holt-Lunsta= d, who wrote the study. She found that people in happy marriages surveyed for 24 hours had blood pr= essure four points lower than single adults who also were surveyed. The findings w= ill be published in today's issue of the Annals of Behavioral Medicine. The research helps to further explain why married adults are healthier and = live=20 longer. Holt-Lunstad said there could be something in the marriage relation= ship=20 that can't be gleaned from mere friendship. Her research also shows that ha= ppily married people could have a decreased risk of cardiovascular disease. "With the spousal relationship there's a greater level of commitment and in= timacy -- at least a greater expectation of commitment and intimacy than in many o= ther=20 relationships," Holt-Lunstad said. In addition to the general, lower blood pressure of those happily married, = Holt-Lunstad said she and her co-researchers also found that married adults had blood pr= essure that dipped more than that of single adults when they slept. Those whose bl= ood pressure stays high at night are at a greater risk for heart disease. Holt-Lunstad said that as people age, their blood pressure tends to increas= e. Perhaps being married slows the climb due to the supportive marital relationship, s= he said. BYU senior Katie NeVille isn't married and is fine with it. She said being = married soon would be nice, but she isn't worried: She has friends. "I live with great roommates," Neville said. "We can just go have fun toget= her.=20 We are just fine hanging out." Neville did say that letting go of the social life would be one less stress= to deal with if she were married. "Of course marriage is going to come with problems," Neville said. "It will= be nice just to have that stability." BYU senior Randal Serr has been married for about three months. He said his= life is easier because he doesn't have to carve out time to see his wife becaus= e they live together. "You don't have to find the time to be with your significant other," Serr s= aid. It also helps that Serr doesn't get lonely anymore. "The best part about marriage is the companionship," Serr said. Holt-Lunstad acknowledged the pressures some BYU students feel to get marri= ed and said her samples came from the community, not from campus. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~= ~~~~~ Single Dads A few weeks ago I was attending a CSA public information night at our Wollongong dads in distress venue. I was standing at the rear of the venue = listening to the speakers when one of the participants approached me and said, 'I can't handle this. I need to talk to somebody'. I immediately noticed tears welling in his eyes and gestured for him to fol= low me into an adjoining office. He was a big man and was obviously overwhelmed an= d distressed. He had good reason to be distressed; his life had basically fallen apart. H= is wife had left him and was overseas and he was caring for his little girl. Life h= ad got on top of him as it often does for all of us, but in this man's case he fel= t it=20 was crushing him. A loss of employment, an accident, money, divorce, debt r= esulting in depression, resulting in his failed attempt at suicide the night before = he saw me. After speaking with him for a while I realised quickly he needed more exper= tise=20 than I could offer personally. I was lucky because I had in this group an M= D and called him in to advise. I had already called Phil, one of my men in with = me and left him talking with this man while I grabbed the good doctor. To cut the = story short the doctor assessed the situation and sent the guy off to hospital t= o be=20 assessed. Phil drove him to the hospital and stayed with him while the doct= or and I stayed with the other participants. All this happened during the CSA info= rmation night. At the closing of the information night I asked everyone if they could just= stay seated for a minute and I related the story of what had transpired during = the night and the reality that it is still happening everyday, everywhere. We saved a= life tonight I told them. This man had come to what he thought was a 'dids' mee= ting=20 because he was going to make his second attempt tonight. We saved a life. T= hank=20 God. I asked the participants to share a minutes silence and maybe think ab= out this guy, maybe send a prayer, send some positive energy, whatever you can do. Afterwards the Good Doctor and myself visited the hospital, my 'dids' man w= as still with him, he was being assessed, spoke to the crew at the hospital and then= the=20 three of us left. As we were walking out the door we noticed a woman and a = child sitting nervously in the waiting room. Phil approached them and asked if t= hey were connected with the guy we left inside and they were. He knelt down and spok= e softly to the little girl and explained that dad was ok and all will be well. She = was crying, so was he. Outside he looked at me and the Doctor and said, 'You know my li= ttle=20 girl is around the same age?' tears were welling in his eyes. We decided to= go up and have a coffee, just the three of us, before I drove back to Coffs Harbo= ur. We felt Phil needed a debrief. It was very late and some would say probably stupid to commence a drive tha= t late, but that is the time when I debrief, that's the time I talk to my partner (= upstairs). That's the time when He hears from my mouth my successes, my failures, my a= pologies, my thanks. Driving back I thought a lot about what transpired that night, a= lot=20 about those two lifesavers and what they had done and a lot about that litt= le girl. You see as I walked past her in the waiting room I caught her eye and she k= new me and I knew her, she knew dad would be ok and I knew, so would she. Now is t= he time I wish to honour my men. Phil and Doctor Jim are the heroes of this story. = They=20 are the ones like many others who commit their hearts to helping others. Th= ey are the heroes who just work quietly in the background no one ever hears about.= No one ever thanks them. The guy they helped that night got back in the game. He received some job o= ffers, he went onto medication, life got a little easier. We don't hear from him a= nymore, he doesn't come to meetings and we possibly won't hear from him again. But = we did our job. We did what we could. A little girl, sitting in a hospital waiting= room, understood her dad was coming home that night and she in turn touched the h= eart=20 of Phil who had a little girl waiting at home for him. In turn Phil and Doc= tor Jim touched my heart by allowing me to catch a glimpse of theirs. I am honoured= to have them in this organisation. I am honoured to have them as mates. I am honour= ed that the Big Fella allows me the opportunity to tell you their stories. Tony Miller Director/Founder Dads In Distress Inc. PO Box J395 Coffs Harbour Jetty NSW 2450 Ph: 1300 853 437 www.dadsindistress.asn.au [http://rs6.net/tn.jsp?e=3D001OLxmt-s2OVOK29hDJJq= Gu7pZkQ6A-RoDdLm75qb5XP-O65jLryUd_AcbFR_91I6de9MsPSkfE2fSZdZW7HzoUzCxh52vGY= ALV6rliUufqevlthfTLrbWZQUW98O2x1Fg] ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~= ~~~~~ Special Feature Confronting Our Most Urgent Social Problem By David Blankenhorn An excerpt from the introduction of Fatherless America - Confronting Our Mo= st Urgent Social Problem =A9 1995 BasicBooks - A Division of HarperCollinsPublishers The United States is becoming an increasingly fatherless society. A generat= ion ago, an American child could reasonably expect to grow up with his or her father= . Today, an American child can reasonably expect not to. Fatherlessness is now appro= aching a rough parity with fatherhood as a defining feature of American childhood. This astonishing fact is neglected in many statistics, but here are the two= most important. Tonight, about 40 percent of American children will go to sleep= in homes in which their fathers do not live. Before they reach the age of eighteen, = more=20 than half of our nation's children are likely to spend at least a significa= nt portion of their childhoods living apart from their fathers. Never before in this c= ountry have so many children been voluntarily abandoned by their fathers. Never be= fore=20 have so many children grown up without knowing what it means to have a fath= er. Fatherlessness is the most harmful demographic trend of this generation. It= is the leading cause of declining child well-being in our society. It is also the = engine driving our most urgent social problems, from crime to adolescent pregnancy= to child sexual abuse to domestic violence against women. Yet, despite its scale and= social consequences, fatherlessness is a problem that is frequently ignored or den= ied.=20 Especially within our elite discourse, it remains largely a problem with no= name. . . The stakes on this issue could hardly be higher. Our society's conspicuous = failure to sustain or create compelling norms of fatherhood amounts to a social and= personal disaster. Today's story of fatherhood features one-dimensional characters, = an unbelievable plot, and an unhappy ending. It reveals in our society both a failure of co= llective memory and a collapse of moral imagination. It undermines families, neglect= s children, causes or aggravates our worst social problems, and makes individual adult = happiness - both male and female - harder to achieve. . . If this book could be distilled into one sentence, it would be this: A good= society celebrates the ideal of the man who puts his family first. Because our soci= ety is now lurching in the opposite direction, I see the Good Family Man as the pr= incipal casualty of today's weakening fatherhood script. And because I cannot imagi= ne a=20 good society without him, I offer him as the protagonist in the stronger sc= ript=20 that I believe is both necessary and possible. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~= ~~~~~ News & Info The Lost Boys TV series responds to the call of 'the most harmful demograph= ic trend of this generation', a groundbreaking factual reality series that deals wit= h the topic of masculinity through father and son relationships. Would you like = to be a part of this exciting venture? Dear Fatherhood Foundation I am researching a new observational documentary series called The Lost Boy= s. It focuses on 5 fathers and their sons and a 28 day cattle mustering expediti= on. The idea is the time away together will hopefully mend problems in their commun= ications and create a new bond between them. I am looking for fathers and sons who may be interested in participating. S= ons would have to be minimum age 15 through to 24. I have attached a longer synopsis for you to read and to pass on to any of = your=20 members who you think may be interested. I thank you for your time Kind regards Kirsty de Vallance A Cast of Thousands 02 9413 8640 kirsty@acastofthousands.com.au [mailto:kirsty@acastofthousands.com.au] ___________________________________________________________________________= _ NEWS LINKS Dads on the Air Fatherhood Special - 13 Radio interview downloads available= at: DADS ON THE AIR [http://rs6.net/tn.jsp?e=3D001OLxmt-s2OVNZxgOgDhi2fE81Km_nE= nNtj_VuU3RANvyG4WhCSS9MGzFtK5gfO-horPuUE413gQ2KQwz-Jfj0dXv5Kp0tq4Ibdp-JZXNj= I8FC9KGNOvrqw-XkmsfzG7aukfCat6f3dX4b1xgwvHRBjw=3D=3D] Study finds abortion rate in dramatic decline [http://rs6.net/tn.jsp?e=3D00= 1OLxmt-s2OVPLD494Rjl4rAB2aCugkH1g8nFRxkdj2bN7qSNq77gH2cc7_Qw4Ezrrzom_8j0YUQ= NQHzBcTyVt-qjiwgm6Es24u92JA5ps8kixNlx8NidVGRhUWt0hSc4qhuRB3BzN_d4twOBGGi8WP= RNZ0LiaWSVy7uSUIrfCJO0=3D] Suicide Rates spark calls for National Mens Health Policy [http://rs6.net/t= n.jsp?e=3D001OLxmt-s2OVNb75aupnQq0MEFHQGgNYFWRhJboSwHr50EoUNywP_QoA7n8brgSb= WeY_85JpD8RlPQnI3dwvWSagd2izHOOfSky4MHe5_0tU-32wKfwsoGb5bPr9BMF3M9BvbNSwuI9= 7V6R376r7ra1Zvyt6gR6ruN2zTVYQfU6wRwpE6eHXdudec9pba3YfEF7Z36X1fat4E08C0hQbbD= z_9QPqqe-wfjHi07FS9UjhGJfujmrqpmrA=3D=3D] Push continues for National Men's health policy [http://rs6.net/tn.jsp?e=3D= 001OLxmt-s2OVPyLnPhRuSoqE1VogW6oAY_erzCPAVGAbqkeT-42_VE2ySrdCveKdykTn6tPKTq= a01Rs-LA0rDwxEyF3F0MgqMrC2fq6OhwQsoEAhi3PLr-nR7PYqQ2iD_mV58FwKFVG7Sa_0_P5tD= o2kNREH9MFsWNTNaJnJvD-PySOnRbNguAdexb5idSRSDS] Male suicide figures "atrocious':academic [http://rs6.net/tn.jsp?e=3D001OLx= mt-s2OVPCzBkzdPgE6Ay11hKNPG9BeqCjmFlfZuDz3SelflwnmWvOTu2baCSq2t5bHsts_pMApE= jvCOpg3Ws8S1WhtkRacthnVVnkP98dXZYkVzzcRnIeStHxLMV8cNsDyPlQDLg5ItWwts7aph1f1= 3f6zntr9Gu3LROdFaA=3D] Expert slams designer kids' parties [http://rs6.net/tn.jsp?e=3D001OLxmt-s2O= VMdH4GoqcB2UcbuOrZArwFGpFBQceduOXPzwCTdSzrweN7_cCkNY6EOsboht8Wv6evH_4akehI0= 6EdvYCGurRtBKQKzvyqwInmk7Myo6zM0r9azYBoYKLECo0OCLp0phm9SFS2EI2D30wBZQ5w2t8d= 1wTXwVITYOlI=3D] ___________________________________________________________________________= _ HOT Stuff - Mens Health Forum Report available: Download Report from Mens Health Forum 19th March 2008 [http://rs6.net/tn.j= sp?e=3D001OLxmt-s2OVMWT-P6Uc2DdsRag-348kjvJ-2yvRwKBuLs-XcTFEit-BXNDt_2IsiFC= cosi0nonyG1oFxQIUjaNt0Whf0FzxGCX_BIGWV2hlfSIeYhu58ck-L5IHDjpB-ftj-rXZ2Tjt3B= WmSdFiccUjw-zjt4GAVXZfPAQFCyPKF7sJ79hD-druNKclGwgJxY86Bie30i2xM=3D] ___________________________________________________________________________= _ Letters Dear Fatherhood Foundation It was truly a pleasure attending the Men & Father's Health Forum. I am ins= pired by your commitment to fathers, and ability to facilitate this type of high = level activity. Thank you for involving me in the experience. Events like this o= ne have far reaching outcomes that are not apparent at the time. By this, I mean th= at they give us all exposure to a peer group of like-minded people and nourish our = souls .We all sometimes feel that we're doing it all alone and spending this ti= me with you people has filled up my emptying tank of enthusiasm. Talk soon Dave Hughes Clinical Nurse Specialist Men's Health david.hughes@ncahs.health.nsw.gov.au [mailto:david.hughes@ncahs.health.nsw.= gov.au] _______________________ Editor's Note: The letter below is from Dr Elizabeth Celi, one of the contr= ibutors at the Men & Father's Health Forum last week. Elizabeth is just about to re= lease a book on Men's Health & Wellbeing which we will be reviewing in the coming= =20 weeks. Elizabeth was a brilliant spokesperson for the men of Australia alon= g with many others present at the forum. We look forward to her further contributi= on. Dear Fatherhood Foundation Thank you for the great report on the Men & Father's Health Forum in your n= ewsletter. I'll give Wayne Butler a thank you soon for his compliment on my down to ea= rth speaking. For me, it's all about the benefits that my clients ultimately receive thro= ugh this kind of work. I'm rapped to have been among a group of strong advocates wit= h heart and professionalism combined. I feel quite blessed to have been there with = you all and definitely felt like I was in the right place contributing to an extrem= ely important cause. The tears were genuine and took me by surprise, believe me the passi= on can be expressed quite firmly and pointedly in other discussions! The emails you provided for the Ministers in attendance was a great help - = thanks - I sent them an email on Tuesday thanking them for their support, time and= effort and with some you mentioned had been a support to you. I thanked them for b= eing=20 there for you. I hope that's ok. I welcomed their feedback on the book for = the ones I knew had their copy at this point. I was chuffed to see Roger Price sent = me a=20 'thanks' reply, that was a welcome surprise! I'll also follow up on a meeting with Nicola Roxon seeing as we're both in = Melbourne. How has it been going organizing your meeting with her? Keep the ball rolling and I look forward to being of further contribution. Dr. Elizabeth Celi, PhD, MAPS Health and Exercise Psychologist, Speaker/Trainer, Author eceli@netlink.com.au [mailto:eceli@netlink.com.au] 03 5982 1289 __________________________________________________________________ 'Fathers matter - a LOT' (says a new and important research review) Hot on the heels of other recent high quality research [http://rs6.net/tn.j= sp?e=3D001OLxmt-s2OVNOaVCZOJIHmUeOxqyvdrXBtzYcgRSy7JUUebtNJ2IYJuj-8qLEtuxpb= gbu75MTBkfQdUYlz8JBPGbKv4lhxRQ5EGIHh8DEdJDPh1E_CtGK3v9_ExziucCs_sdnnG4xVX2y= qB_t5YsLWx5gBKSpWPa2W_71T2smIVizh2y-JYzi6_XLUCpx9Mvk] which has found a clear connection between strong and positive father-child= relationships and good outcomes for children, comes a new and very significant research r= eview from Upsala University in Sweden. The researchers, who reviewed 20 years' worth of child development studies,= found that regular positive contact between a child and a father or father figure= has=20 a range of positive outcomes, including reduced behavioural and psychologic= al problems and enhanced cognitive development. One study they reviewed found father-fi= gures to have particular influence; another found that in low-income families it= was=20 the non-resident biological father-child relationship that mattered more. I= n light of these findings, the researchers call on all professionals working with f= amilies to enquire about and actively encourage fathers' engagement with their chil= dren=20 from as early an age as possible - whether or not they live with their chil= dren=20 full-time. To read more about this research, click here [http://rs6.net/tn.= jsp?e=3D001OLxmt-s2OVPWTQr2xyjD1K0_8lGB83sZg2QLcc-FeHNQmXyorG8upvYpDp6frq8q= sMtuGhdJeni3Q2oPQph3E_RO-F-ZneMw23i6SMBLP36TScjySBME42AAlKr8XOz4Qt7PPR3Anvv= mL3oD54Cpxf-UFD-030cT36Nq7SmvTRhKoJg_BGG5snDUi6iipHob]. ...and now YOU can help us learn more... Four new UK research studies need different kinds of fathers to participate= : Fathers who don't see their children A London researcher(who can travel!) wants to interview fathers who have lo= st contact with their children, to contribute to a research project which seeks to und= erstand these fathers' positions and the difficulties they face. Anyone willing to = give=20 a confidential interview should email arwyn.davies@oxleas.nhs.uk [mailto:ar= wyn.davies@oxleas.nhs.uk] or phone 07879 623786. 'Main caregiver' fathers Fathers who are the main caregivers of their children - whether 'house-husb= ands' in two-parent families or lone fathers raising children by themselves - ar= e to=20 be the subject of a research project at the University of Cambridge. If you= know of any potential participants, who would like to share their experiences a= nd contribute to a better understanding of the value of fatherhood, please ask them to co= ntact Uttama Patel by email at up213@cam.ac.uk [mailto:up213@cam.ac.uk]. Dads dropping their children off at nursery The Early Childhood Studies team at the University of Derby, in partnership= with the Pre-school Learning Alliance, is carrying out a pilot study in early y= ears=20 settings in the Midlands to find out more about how early years staff and f= athers (and other male carers) feel about their interaction at the threshold of nu= rseries and other childcare settings when fathers drop off and collect children. A = larger, UK-wide study may follow. For further information telephone Andrew Sanders = on 01332 591860 or email a.sanders@derby.ac.uk [mailto:a.sanders@derby.ac.uk], or te= lephone Tim Kahn on 020 769 2574 or email tim.kahn@pre-school.org.uk [mailto:tim.ka= hn@pre-school.org.uk]. First-time fathers Cardiff University is looking to talk to men who live in South Wales and ar= e expecting their first child, about their experiences during the pregnancy, and the ye= ar after the birth. Participation would involve 3 informal interviews: the first, ab= out 3 months before the birth; the second about 4 months after it; and the third= around the child's first birthday. The interviews may take place in participants' = homes, and =A310 will be paid for each interview. For more details about the proje= ct click here [http://rs6.net/tn.jsp?e=3D001OLxmt-s2OVMry9fiZQv6b5utii0TLVZRyAuzZIT0= i5nqCQbbWIEMWWJAYqk1Xy0wdfS8--2waSLIOPuFbNcJq2e614Ot8vunh46qvPdgWK5WlsE2c7f= 0p3ibfE9BPbjKN90z2d9Kt34VKoxpXWhIs2tU8tjUaPW0Qx0nvv2oSFg=3D]. Expectant dads interested in taking part should contact Fiona on (029) 2087= 5348 or Mark on FinnM@cardiff.ac.uk [mailto:FinnM@cardiff.ac.uk]. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~= ~~~~~ Dad's Prayer Dear God Time is our most precious commodity. Time with You must rank near the top. Is that why our children spell love T-I-M-E? Time with Dad, Time with Mum, Time with brothers and sisters is irreplaceable. Why should this surprise us? Hopefully our children can find us amidst our busy schedules. Hopefully we can find the time, to be found by them. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~= ~~~~~ Help Us! The Fatherhood Foundation is a Harm Prevention Charity. Fatherlessness and inadequate fathering has been proven to be a source of h= arm.=20 The Fatherhood Foundation helps children by promoting excellence in father= ing.=20 Excellent fathers are in word and deed: responsible, involved, protective, = loving and committed to the well-being of their children and their children's moth= er. If you would like to give financially to the Fatherhood Foundation Public F= und and receive tax deductibility: Fatherhood Foundation Public Fund (Name, address and amount details must be emailed for a receipt for tax ded= uctibility) Westpac Branch Wollongong BSB: 032 695 A/C: 25-5558 Or mail cheque and address details to: PO Box 440 WOLLONGONG NSW 2520 AUSTRALIA The Fatherhood Foundation Public Fund is a public fund listed on the Regis= ter of Harm Prevention Charities under Subdivision 30_EA of the Income Tax Assessm= ent Act 1997. You have received the fathersonline.org newsletter because you have subscri= bed,=20 or you have been subscribed by a friend. If you do not wish to receive fut= ure emails, please click the UNSUBSCRIBE button below. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~= ~~~~~ Forward email http://ui.constantcontact.com/sa/fwtf.jsp?m=3D1101938345415&ea=3Dblane@uow.= edu.au&a=3D1102029540533 This email was sent to blane@uow.edu.au, by info@fathersonline.org Update Profile/Email Address http://visitor.constantcontact.com/d.jsp?v=3D001jm8CFGIzLJHYg-gJRLc-3d90mBL= DU8ykKdPR5ghy3Y3MqbfgN5-u5QrUhDTl2TgFtFhJ0Mlt7CVLgfIkml76-A%3D%3D&p=3Doo Instant removal with SafeUnsubscribe(TM) http://visitor.constantcontact.com/d.jsp?v=3D001jm8CFGIzLJHYg-gJRLc-3d90mBL= DU8ykKdPR5ghy3Y3MqbfgN5-u5QrUhDTl2TgFtFhJ0Mlt7CVLgfIkml76-A%3D%3D&p=3Dun Privacy Policy: http://ui.constantcontact.com/roving/CCPrivacyPolicy.jsp Email Marketing by Constant Contact(R) www.constantcontact.com Fatherhood Foundation | P.O. 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31st  March 2008 =       Inspiring Fathers   Encouraging Families Issue 293
=09=09
The Lost Boys
=09=09
=09
=09=09
Dear Brian,

Welc= ome to the Fatherhood Foundation newsletter and email information service f= or the fathers and families as we look at The Lost Boys

=09=09 =09=09 =09=09 =09=09=09 =09=09 =09=09 =09=09=09 =09=09 =09=09=09 =09=09 =09=09=09 =09=09 =09=09=09 =09=09 =09=09=09 =09=09 =09=09=09 =09=09 =09=09=09 =09=09 =09=09=09 =09=09 =09=09
In This Issue
Frontline...The Lost Boys are coming
Laughter..Mens Brains vs Womens Brains
Grandfathers...Be a success
All You Need is Love..Marriage lowers blood pressure
Single Dads...Dads pain
Special Feature...Urgent urgent
News & Info..Letters
Dad's Prayer..Time
Next Week 
 Going Surfing
 =09=09=09=09 =09=09
 
Join our Mailing List!
 
=09=09
Quick Links<= /strong>
<= a track=3D"on" href=3D"http://rs6.net/tn.jsp?e=3D001OLxmt-s2OVOCdxvD8r9MvJ2= oSmXVOvanzl2AP1Jqi3JB21-zh8ViyLvMRl8JLJheQ_e7P-bOZJ1SoV7MA6Dn5t0ix-4jy5WUOD= 5ZzSYlGE9ZnXyUeDCrwg=3D=3D" linktype=3D"undefined" target=3D"_blank">Fatherhood Foundation
 
 
 
 
 
=09
=09=09
T= hought of the Week
      =20
       3D"Family
 

Do= n't wait.

Do= it now.

Se= e your family now.

Ta= ke the trips now.

Sp= eak your love to them today and every day.

Ta= ke advantage of the time.

To= morrow may never come.

 = ;

Bob Overton

 

Frontline
 
3D"Father
  =20

I received an amazing phone call las= t week from Freemantle Media. This company is the name behind some of Austr= alia's biggest TV shows eg Neighbours, Idol, Biggest Loser, So You Think Yo= u Can Dance and many other top rating shows. Kirsty de Vallance is the cast= ing director/consultant for a new show that is still in the development sta= ge called 'The Lost Boys'. The Lost Boys is the brainchild of the Crackerja= ck Production's team, Mark and Karl Fennessy. When I read the synopsis of t= he proposed TV show I was totally blown away. It is exactly the sort of sho= w that the Fatherhood Foundation would produce if we had the money. Channel= Ten are looking at the possibility of a 6 to 10 part series. Considering t= he fact that Channel Ten is also the producer of Big Brother, one of the mo= st pathetic shows on Australian television, I was shocked to hear they were= planning something like this. Apparently Channel Ten is trying to lift its= game and connect with the families of Australia in a meaningful way, and n= ot before time.

 

I was so excited by the concept behi= nd the The Lost Boys that I rang up Karl Fennessy, one of the executive pro= ducers to get the low-down on the show.

 

Karl Fennessy has two children under= four years of age and a 13 year old from a previous relationship. I'm gues= sing that he is no stranger to the pain and challenges that many fathers ar= e feeling at the beginning of this the 21st century. Karl and hi= s brother Mark have been incubating this idea for the last 3 years and have= been amazed at the response the show has been getting, sight unseen. I enc= lose the synopsis in full with Kirsty de Vallance's contact details below. = Kirsty is looking for comment and fathers and sons who might be interested = in going the distance in this exciting adventure.

 

It looks like fatherhood is about to= go mainstream, maybe a lot quicker than we thought. Miracles do happen, th= e impossible takes a little bit longer.

 

Synopsis - The Lost= Boys

There are good reasons why modern fathers are est= ranged from their sons:  divo= rce, interstate or overseas work, separation, corporate demands, desertion = or disinterest.  However, it'= s becoming obvious that there are no good excuses.  Boys without fathers lack the most important male ro= le-model in their lifetime - the person whose job it is to show them what i= t means to be a mate, a husband, a worker, a hero, a lover and above all, a= man.

 

Clearly something must be done to address what ha= s been dubbed 'the most harmful demographic trend of this generation'. The Lost Boys responds to this ca= ll.

 

The Lost Boys is a groundbreaking factual reality= series that deals with the topic of masculinity through father and son rel= ationships. Five urban, estranged father and son pairs will re-build their = damaged relationships by undertaking one of the toughest challenges Austral= ia has to offer - to move 500 head of cattle over 200 miles across the outb= ack, in 28 days, living the life of the quintessential Drover. <= /p>

 

The Drover is an Australian icon that holds relev= ance3D"outback" for all Australians, e= ven though most of us are city dwellers.&= nbsp; The Lost Boys uses the masculine role- models and the vast lan= dscape of the outback to heal the social wounds that are impacting on our c= ities. 

 

This is a unique opportunity for fathers and sons= to spend time together, learn together, teach one another, face their fear= s and earn each other's respect on a level playing field.  Endless, hot days of hard work followed by co= ld nights around the campfire combine to create an emotionally charged expe= rience that will be riveting to watch and relevant to many in the viewing a= udience. As challenges common to fathers and sons play out for the particip= ants, those watching from home will be given insights and practical tools t= o apply to their own lives.

 

Under the guidance of professional cattle men and= adventure therapists, the participants won't be able to escape the fact th= at the only way to successfully complete the task, and claim their pay pack= et worth thousands, is to get over the past and work together.  This is the best chance they'll ever g= et to build a paternal bond to ensure that the Lost Boys become found.

 

* * If you would like to participate in this prog= ram, please call Kirsty de Vallance on: 02 9413 8640/ 0403 182293 or email:= kirsty= @acastofthousands.com.au

 

= Lovework

 

I asked Karl Fennessy, executive pro= ducer of The Lost Boys about his own father. He said that he had a great fa= mily upbringing but even he would have liked a little bit more time with hi= s Dad whom he loves dearly. Don't we all wish the same?

 

That's the message this week:=

Don't raise lost boys or lost girls.= Find your own children before its too late.

 

Yours for our children

Warwick Marsh

 

PS. The media penetration from last = week's Men and Father's Health Forum has been astounding. I have never know= n a story from one of our activities to go so deep and so broad. Eric Clapt= on once sang, 'Something's happening, something's going on'. Remember to th= ank the parliamentarians who supported us in Canberra. It will mean a lot t= o them. Also please pass on Kirsty de Vallance's contact details to other f= athers with sons between 15 and 24 who might be interested in appearing on = TV.

 
Photo:Photo by Sam Abell
 

__________________________= ____________________________________________________

 

Warwick Marsh  = ;has been married to Alison for 32 years. He is the grandfather o= f two children and father of five children, four boys and one girl, ranging= in age from 27 years to 15 years.  Warwick is a musician, songwr= iter, producer and public speaker who likes to think he can still laugh at = himself.

=09=09
Laughter
=  =20
To understand why we do what we do have a look at this:
 
 
 
And now the results of the=20
International Husband of the Year
<= /font>
 
 
3rd Place GR= EECE
3D"3rd
 
 
 
2nd Place SE= RBIA
3D"2nd
 
 
1st place to= the Romantic IRISH
3D"Ist
 
 
Grandfathers
 =20

 

 

3D"Fath=Gentlemen,

try = not

to become men of success.

Rather,

beco= me men

 of value.

 = ;

Albert Einstein

 
 
All You Need is Love
 

MARRIA= GE MAY LOWER BLOOD PRESSURE

 

By Brittani Lusk 20 March 2008 DAILY HERALD  3D"Marraige

 

A good friend might be a better listener or manicure budd= y, but if you're looking to lower your blood pressure, it might help to get= a fiance and head to the altar.

 

According to a new study released by a Brigham Young Univ= ersity researcher, those who are happily married have lower blood pressure = than singles -- even those with supportive social networks. But there is no= evidence the jumps come all at once, and those who were unhappily married = had blood pressure higher than singles.

 

"I think it could be safely argued that the type of socia= l support within a marital relationship would be just as important if not m= ore important than support from social [relationships]," said BYU physiolog= y professor Julianne Holt-Lunstad, who wrote the study.

 

She found that people in happy marriages surveyed for 24 = hours had blood pressure four points lower than single adults who also were= surveyed. The findings will be published in today's issue of the Annals of= Behavioral Medicine.

 

The research helps to further explain why married adults = are healthier and live longer. Holt-Lunstad said there could be something i= n the marriage relationship that can't be gleaned from mere friendship. Her= research also shows that happily married people could have a decreased ris= k of cardiovascular disease.

 

"With the spousal relationship there's a greater level of= commitment and intimacy -- at least a greater expectation of commitment an= d intimacy than in many other relationships," Holt-Lunstad said.

 

In addition to the general, lower blood pressure of those= happily married, Holt-Lunstad said she and her co-researchers also found t= hat married adults had blood pressure that dipped more than that of single = adults when they slept. Those whose blood pressure stays high at night are = at a greater risk for heart disease.

 

Holt-Lunstad said that as people age, their blood pressur= e tends to increase. Perhaps being married slows the climb due to the suppo= rtive marital relationship, she said.

 

BYU senior Katie NeVille isn't married and is fine with i= t. She said being married soon would be nice, but she isn't worried: She ha= s friends.

 

"I live with great roommates," Neville said. "We can just= go have fun together. We are just fine hanging out."

 

Neville did say that letting go of the social life would = be one less stress to deal with if she were married.

 

"Of course marriage is going to come with problems," Nevi= lle said. "It will be nice just to have that stability."

 

BYU senior Randal Serr has been married for about three m= onths. He said his life is easier because he doesn't have to carve out time= to see his wife because they live together.

 

"You don't have to find the time to be with your signific= ant other," Serr said.

 

It also helps that Serr doesn't get lonely anymore.

 

"The best part about marriage is the companionship," Serr= said.

 

Holt-Lunstad = acknowledged the pressures some BYU students feel to get married and said h= er samples came from the community, not from campus.

=09=09 =09=09
Single Dads
=
3D"Man
 

A few weeks ago I was attending a CSA publ= ic information night at our

Wollongong dads in distress venue. I was standing at the rear of the v= enue listening to the speakers when one of the participants approached me a= nd said,

 

'I can't han= dle this. I need to talk to somebody'.

 

I immediatel= y noticed tears welling in his eyes and gestured for him to follow me = into an adjoining office. He was a big man and was obviously overwhelmed an= d distressed. He had good reason to be distressed; his life had basically f= allen apart. His wife had left him and was overseas and he was caring for h= is little girl. Life had got on top of him as it often does for all of us, = but in this man's case he felt it was crushing him. A loss of employment, a= n accident, money, divorce, debt resulting in depression, resulting in his = failed attempt at suicide the night before he saw me.

 

After speaki= ng with him for a while I realised quickly he needed more expertise than I = could offer personally. I was lucky because I had in this group an MD and c= alled him in to advise. I had already called Phil, one of my men in with me= and left him talking with this man while I grabbed the good doctor. To cut= the story short the doctor assessed the situation and sent the guy off to = hospital to be assessed. Phil drove him to the hospital and stayed wit= h him while the doctor and I stayed with the other participants. All this h= appened during the CSA information night.

 

At the closi= ng of the information night I asked everyone if they could just stay seated= for a minute and I related the story of what had transpired during the nig= ht and the reality that it is still happening everyday, everywhere. We save= d a life tonight I told them. This man had come to what he thought was= a 'dids' meeting because he was going to make his second attempt tonight. = We saved a life. Thank God. I asked the participants to share a minutes sil= ence and maybe think about this guy, maybe send a prayer, send some positiv= e energy, whatever you can do.

 

Afterwards t= he Good Doctor and myself visited the hospital, my 'dids' man was stil= l with him, he was being assessed, spoke to the crew at the hospital and th= en the three of us left. As we were walking out the door we noticed a woman= and a child sitting nervously in the waiting room. Phil approach= ed them and asked if they were connected with the guy we left inside and th= ey were. He knelt down and spoke softly to the little girl and explained th= at dad was ok and all will be well. She was crying, so was he. Outside he l= ooked at me and the Doctor and said, 'You know my little girl is around the= same age?' tears were welling in his eyes. We decided to go up and have a = coffee, just the three of us, before I drove back to Coffs Harbour.&nb= sp;We felt Phil needed a debrief.

 

It was very = late and some would say probably stupid to commence a drive that late, but = that is the time when I debrief, that's the time I talk to my partne= r (upstairs). That's the time when He hears from my mouth my successes, my = failures, my apologies, my thanks. Driving back I thought a lot about what = transpired that night, a lot about those two lifesavers and what they had d= one and a lot about that little girl. You see as I walked past her in the w= aiting room I caught her eye and she knew me and I knew her, she knew dad w= ould be ok and I knew, so would she. Now is the time I wish to honour = my men. Phil and Doctor Jim are the heroes of this story. They are the ones= like many others who commit their hearts to helping others. They are the h= eroes who just work quietly in the background no one ever hears about. No o= ne ever thanks them.

 

The guy they= helped that night got back in the game. He received some job offers, he we= nt onto medication, life got a little easier. We don't hear from him a= nymore, he doesn't come to meetings and we possibly won't hear from him aga= in. But we did our job. We did what we could. A little girl, sitting in a h= ospital waiting room, understood her dad was coming home that night an= d she in turn touched the heart of Phil who had a little girl waiting at ho= me for him. In turn Phil and Doctor Jim touched my heart by allowing me to = catch a glimpse of theirs. I am honoured to have them in this organisation.= I am honoured to have them as mates. I am honoured that the Big Fella allo= ws me the opportunity to tell you their stories.

 

 

 

Tony Miller<= br />Director/Founder

 Dads I= n Distress Inc.
PO Box J395
Coffs Harbour Jetty
NSW 2450

 

Ph: 1300 853= 437
www.dadsindistress= .asn.au

 

Special Feature
 
 =20

= Confronting Our Most Urgent Social Problem

By David Blankenhorn3D"Father

 
 

An excerpt from the introduction of F= atherless America - Confronting Our Most Urgent Social Problem =A9 1995 Bas= icBooks - A Division of HarperCollinsPublishers

 

The United States is becoming an incr= easingly fatherless society. A generation ago, an American child could reas= onably expect to grow up with his or her father. Today, an American child c= an reasonably expect not to. Fatherlessness is now approaching a rough pari= ty with fatherhood as a defining feature of American childhood.

 

This astonishing fact is neglected in= many statistics, but here are the two most important. Tonight, about 40 pe= rcent of American children will go to sleep in homes in which their fathers= do not live. Before they reach the age of eighteen, more than half of our = nation's children are likely to spend at least a significant portion of the= ir childhoods living apart from their fathers. Never before in this country= have so many children been voluntarily abandoned by their fathers. Never b= efore have so many children grown up without knowing what it means to have = a father.

 

Fatherlessness is the most harmful de= mographic trend of this generation. It is the leading cause of declining ch= ild well-being in our society. It is also the engine driving our most urgen= t social problems, from crime to adolescent pregnancy to child sexual abuse= to domestic violence against women. Yet, despite its scale and social cons= equences, fatherlessness is a problem that is frequently ignored or denied.= Especially within our elite discourse, it remains largely a problem with n= o name. . .

 

The stakes on this issue could hardly= be higher. Our society's conspicuous failure to sustain or create compelli= ng norms of fatherhood amounts to a social and personal disaster. Today's s= tory of fatherhood features one-dimensional characters, an unbelievable plo= t, and an unhappy ending. It reveals in our society both a failure of colle= ctive memory and a collapse of moral imagination. It undermines families, n= eglects children, causes or aggravates our worst social problems, and makes= individual adult happiness - both male and female - harder to achieve. . .=

 

If this book could be distilled into = one sentence, it would be this: A good society celebrates the ideal of the = man who puts his family first. Because our society is now lurching in the o= pposite direction, I see the Good Family Man as the principal casualty of t= oday's weakening fatherhood script. And because I cannot imagine a good soc= iety without him, I offer him as the protagonist in the stronger script tha= t I believe is both necessary and possible.

 
News & Info
3D"Man
 

The Lost Boys TV series responds to the call of 'the most harmful= demographic trend of this generation', a groundbreaking factual reality se= ries that deals with the topic of masculinity through father and son relati= onships. Would you like to be a part of this exciting venture?

 

Dear F= atherhood Foundation

 

I am r= esearching a new observational documentary series called The Lost B= oys. It focuses on 5 fathers and their sons and a 28 day cattle mu= stering expedition. The idea is the time away together will hopefully mend = problems in their communications and create a new bond between them.=

 

I am l= ooking for fathers and sons who may be interested in participating. Sons wo= uld have to be minimum age 15 through to 24.

 

I have= attached a longer synopsis for you to read and to pass on to any of your m= embers who you think may be interested.

 

I than= k you for your time

 

Kind r= egards

Kirsty= de Vallance

A Cast= of Thousands

02 941= 3 8640

kirsty@acastofthousands.com.au

 
______________________________________________________________________= ______
 
NEWS LINKS
<= /div>
Dads on the Air Fatherhood Special - 13 Radio interview downloads avai= lable at:
 
 
 
 
 
Suicide Rates spark calls for National Mens Health Polic= y
 
<= /div>
 
 
 
______________________________________________________________________= ______
 
HOT Stuff - Mens= Health Forum Report available:
 
 
______________________________________________________________________= ______
 
 

Letters

 

Dear Fatherhood Foundation


It was truly a pleasure attend= ing the Men & Father's Health Forum. I am inspired by your commitment to fa= thers, and ability to facilitate this type of high level activity. Thank yo= u for involving me in the experience. Events like this one have far reachin= g outcomes that are not apparent at the time. By this, I mean that they giv= e us all exposure to a peer group of like-minded people and nourish our sou= ls .We all sometimes feel that we're doing it all alone and  spending = this time with you people has filled up my emptying tank of enthusiasm.

 

Talk soon
Dave Hughes

Clinical Nurse Specialist Men's Heal= th

david.hughes@ncahs.health.nsw.gov.au<= /a>

 

______= _________________

 

Editor's Note: The = letter below is from Dr Elizabeth Celi, one of the contributors at the Men = & Father's Health Forum last week. Elizabeth is just about to release a boo= k on Men's Health & Wellbeing which we will be reviewing in the coming week= s. Elizabeth was a brilliant spokesperson for the men of Australia along wi= th many others present at the forum. We look forward to her further contrib= ution.

 

Dear Fatherhood Foundation

 

Thank you for the great report on th= e Men & Father's Health Forum in your newsletter. I'll give Wayne Butler a = thank you soon for his compliment on my down to earth speaking. For me, it'= s all about the benefits that my clients ultimately receive through this ki= nd of work. I'm rapped to have been among a group of strong advocates with = heart and professionalism combined. I feel quite blessed to hav= e been there with you all and definitely felt like I was in the right place= contributing to an extremely important cause. The tears were genuine and t= ook me by surprise, believe me the passion can be expressed quite firmly an= d pointedly in other discussions!

 

The emails you provided for the Mini= sters in attendance was a great help - thanks - I sent them an email on Tue= sday thanking them for their support, time and effort and with some you men= tioned had been a support to you. I thanked them for being there for you. I= hope that's ok. I welcomed their feedback on the book for the ones I knew = had their copy at this point. I was chuffed to see Roger Price sent me a 't= hanks' reply, that was a welcome surprise!

 

I'll also follow up on a meeting wit= h Nicola Roxon seeing as we're both in Melbourne. How has it been going org= anizing your meeting with her?

 

Keep the ball rolling and I look forw= ard to being of further contribution.

 

Dr. Elizabeth Celi, PhD, MAPS=

Health and Exercise Psychologist, Sp= eaker/Trainer, Author

eceli@netlink.com.au

 

03 5982 1289

=    &= nbsp;=20
 
__________________________________________________________= ________    =20
 

<= b>'Fathers matter - a LOT' (says a new and important research review)=

<= span>Hot on the heels of other recent high quality = research which has found a clear connection between strong and p= ositive father-child relationships and good outcomes for children, comes a = new and very significant research review from Upsala University in Sweden.<= /span>

<= span>The researchers, who reviewed 20 years' worth of child development stu= dies, found that regular positive contact between a child and a father or f= ather figure has a range of positive outcomes, including reduced behavioura= l and psychological problems and enhanced cognitive development. One study = they reviewed found father-figures to have particular influence; another fo= und that in low-income families it was the non-resident biological father-c= hild relationship that mattered more. In light of these findings, the resea= rchers call on all professionals working with families to e= nquire about and actively encourage= fathers' engagement with their children from as early an age as = possible - whether or not they live with their children full-time. To read = more about this research, click here.=

<= b>...and now YOU can help us learn more...

<= b>Four new UK research studies need different kinds of fathers to = participate:

<= b>Fathers who don't see their children
A Londo= n researcher(who can travel!) wants to interview fathers who have lost cont= act with their children, to contribute to a research project which seeks to= understand these fathers' positions and the difficulties they face. Anyone= willing to give a confidential interview should email arwyn= .davies@oxleas.nhs.uk or phone 07879 623786.

= 'Main caregiver' fathers
Fathers who are th= e main caregivers of their children - whether 'house-husbands' in two-paren= t families or lone fathers raising children by themselves - are to be the s= ubject of a research project at the University of Cambridge. If you know of= any potential participants, who would like to share their experiences and = contribute to a better understanding of the value of fatherhood, please ask= them to contact Uttama Patel by email at up213@cam.ac.uk.

<= b>Dads dropping their children off at nursery
T= he Early Childhood Studies team at the University of Derby, in partnership = with the Pre-school Learning Alliance, is carrying out a pilot study in ear= ly years settings in the Midlands to find out more about how early years st= aff and fathers (and other male carers) feel about their interaction at the= threshold of nurseries and other childcare settings when fathers drop off = and collect children. A larger, UK-wide study may follow. For further infor= mation telephone Andrew Sanders on 01332 591860 or email a.sanders@der= by.ac.uk, or telephone Tim Kahn on 020 769 2574 or email tim.kahn@pre-school.org.uk.

First-time fathers
Cardiff University is look= ing to talk to men who live in South Wales and are expecting their first ch= ild, about their experiences during the pregnancy, and the year after the b= irth. Participation would involve 3 informal interviews: the first, about 3= months before the birth; the second about 4 months after it; and the third= around the child's first birthday. The interviews may take place in p= articipants' homes, and =A310 will be paid for each interview. For more det= ails about the project click here. Expectant dads interested in taking pa= rt should contact Fiona on (029) 2087 5348 or Mark on FinnM@cardiff.ac.uk<= /span>. 

=
D= ad's Prayer
 3D"Father
 

<= font color=3D"#6633cc" size=3D"5">Dear God

 

<= font color=3D"#6633cc" size=3D"5">Time is our most precious commodity.

<= font color=3D"#6633cc" size=3D"5">Time with You must rank near the top.

<= font color=3D"#6633cc" size=3D"5">Is that why our children spell love T-I-M= -E?

<= font color=3D"#6633cc" size=3D"5">Time with Dad,

<= font color=3D"#6633cc" size=3D"5">Time with Mum,

<= font color=3D"#6633cc" size=3D"5">Time with brothers and sisters is irrepla= ceable.

<= font color=3D"#6633cc" size=3D"5">Why should this surprise us?

 

<= font color=3D"#6633cc" size=3D"5">Hopefully our children can find us amidst= our busy schedules.

<= font color=3D"#6633cc" size=3D"5">Hopefully we can find the time, to be fou= nd by them.

     

=09 =09
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Help Us!

The Fatherhood Foundation is a Harm Pre= vention Charity.
Fatherlessness and inadequate fathering has been pro= ven to be a source of harm. The Fatherhood Foundation helps children b= y promoting excellence  in fathering. Excellent fathers are in word an= d deed: responsible, involved, protective, loving and committed to the well= -being of their children and their children's mother.

 

If you would like to give financially t= o the Fatherhood Foundation Public Fund and receive tax deductibility:

 

Fatherhood Foundation Public Fu= nd
(Name, address and amount details must be emailed for a r= eceipt for tax deductibility)
Westpac Branch Wollongong
BSB: 032 = 695
A/C: 25-5558

 

Or mail cheque and address details to:<= br />PO Box 440
WOLLONGONG  NSW&nb= sp; 2520
AUSTRALIA

 

The Fatherhood Foundation Public Fund&n= bsp; is a public fund listed on the Register of Harm Prevention Charities u= nder Subdivision 30_EA of the Income Tax Assessment Act 1997.=

 

You have received the fatherson= line.org newsletter because you have subscribed, or you have been = subscribed by a friend.  If you do not wish to receive future emails, = please click the UNSUBSCRIBE button below.

=09=09 =09=09
=09 =09
=09 =09
3D"Safe
This email was sent to blane@uow.edu.au, by i= nfo@fathersonline.org
Fatherhood Foundati= on | P.O. Box 542 | Unanderra | NSW | 2526 | Australia
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