Received: from evaki.its.uow.edu.au ([130.130.68.32]) by anubis.ad.uow.edu.au with Microsoft SMTPSVC(6.0.3790.3959); Tue, 26 Feb 2008 07:50:55 +1100 Received: from febris-nat.its.uow.edu.au ([130.130.68.210] helo=febris.its.uow.edu.au) by evaki.its.uow.edu.au with esmtp (Exim 4.69) (envelope-from ) id 1JTkHn-00009j-5Y for blane@uow.edu.au; Tue, 26 Feb 2008 07:50:55 +1100 Received: from c3.confirmedcc.com (c3.confirmedcc.com [64.95.77.164]) by febris.its.uow.edu.au (MOS 3.8.5-GA) with ESMTP id INP46238; Tue, 26 Feb 2008 07:50:50 +1100 (EST) Received: from p1-ws008 (unknown [10.250.0.101]) by c3.confirmedcc.com (Postfix) with ESMTP id 5E90F98E21 for ; Mon, 25 Feb 2008 20:11:38 +0000 (UTC) Message-ID: <1101984690165.1101938345415.1211.8.135151002@scheduler> Date: Mon, 25 Feb 2008 15:11:38 -0500 (EST) From: Fatherhood Foundation Reply-To: info@fathersonline.org To: blane@uow.edu.au Subject: The Law of Unlimited Love Mime-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: multipart/alternative; boundary="----=_Part_2643760_1286886513.1203970298306" X-Mailer: Roving Constant Contact 0 (http://www.constantcontact.com) List-Unsubscribe: http://visitor.constantcontact.com/d.jsp?p=un&v=001jm8CFGIzLJHYg-gJRLc-3d90mBLDU8ykdUbuPv3a3sQn-dS4CBVVpw== X-Return-Path-Hint: ESC1101984690165_1101938345415_1211@in.confirmedcc.com X-Roving-ID: 1101938345415.1211 X-Lumos-SenderID: 1101938345415 X-Roving-CampaignId: 1101984690165 X-Roving-StreamId: 0 X-Junkmail-Status: score=10/49, host=febris.its.uow.edu.au X-Junkmail-SD-Raw: score=unknown, refid=str=0001.0A090205.47C32A2E.0041,ss=1,fgs=0, ip=64.95.77.164, so=2007-07-31 18:51:00, dmn=5.4.3/2008-02-01 Return-Path: ESC1101984690165_1101938345415_1211@in.confirmedcc.com X-OriginalArrivalTime: 25 Feb 2008 20:50:55.0234 (UTC) FILETIME=[1D96D620:01C877F0] ------=_Part_2643760_1286886513.1203970298306 Content-Type: text/plain; charset=iso-8859-1 Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~= ~~~~~ 25 February 2008 Inspiring Fathers Encouraging Families Issue 288 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~= ~~~~~ The Law of Unlimited Love ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~= ~~~~~ Dear Brian, Welcome to the Fatherhood Foundation newsletter and email information servi= ce for the fathers and families as together we explore unlimited love... In This Issue Frontline...The Law of Unlimited Love Laughter..Smart for his age Grandfathers...Read the lyrics & watch the video All You Need is Love..Hugs help Single Dads...Standing strong in forgiveness Special Feature...Love is the best anti-depressant News & Info...Dads being noticed Dad's Prayer..Love is the greatest ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~= ~~~~~ Next Week Brian, Iron John-The Masculine Journey ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~= ~~~~~ [http://visitor.constantcontact.com/email.jsp?m=3D1101938345415] Join our Mailing List! [http://visitor.constantcontact.com/email.jsp?m=3D11= 01938345415] ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~= ~~~~~ Quick Links Fatherhood Foundation [http://rs6.net/tn.jsp?e=3D001WGv4xOsDBjzhJrMSptlmfLF= vxlW6qIJULyBPY5_sZadJNZ4oe6adJ595rLmL9E19eC8LZ1l4C5algY6k7gD74T3WatF7qhmoDp= 7ls1b16tVNslSd30tw-A=3D=3D] Family Law Web Guide [http://rs6.net/tn.jsp?e=3D001WGv4xOsDBjy9-RCTBHLZVrkv= GAgWVUFFiOUksIrJcD7IhwKWofCX1B5UABPw2MinZ2yfcBVlCC9yC7FSFT-2EILMPtQLoEmOmjU= THyvhkcXuGiLIm7bjMxLN1zseHQWz] Men Alive [http://rs6.net/tn.jsp?e=3D001WGv4xOsDBjwlEF_KQiBPPSNaGZ3wmJKlBiJ= 82stHtz_QMLTXu2glnp3PJj1dPSdn44HpOAB4rd6kcrZ75yOREawMiOArLGAIugWqvDqHoLTH6K= jc94Pbmg=3D=3D] National Fatherhood Institute [http://rs6.net/tn.jsp?e=3D001WGv4xOsDBjxYx2r= wZ5f8gNBPJYzgGp74s4cF7o3ytP09Bo9MRYXPBp_VXpFq-Tq73EncTiAHm_DrJQIn8b6UB_cYP7= M-psAj3-CBYYMIsRoFXId8mDvkaA=3D=3D] Families for Life [http://rs6.net/tn.jsp?e=3D001WGv4xOsDBjw_3cI2L4mWVqrlYZV= 4ObjHLH6DMDa7r__qIdNlUHIvqJp3AnZxwT9XOrQbnFVbvI3zLno29gUvaLwkfOHw3S9bcbGwv2= HwbpZ1c5Qzpv_dA8cNfQjKMJWybWmjcOaj72c=3D] Dad Can Do [http://rs6.net/tn.jsp?e=3D001WGv4xOsDBjx6qhKJUQreOSETOVVV5ZZF7c= _J2n6VYa0AsLbxhoyRyCc-lqsIF0Y0OSwayQGsUa6HYOFHn1AVf0eIJvn3UXjt9IxUfM5e_DAdc= l0ye43KPQ=3D=3D] Culture Watch [http://rs6.net/tn.jsp?e=3D001WGv4xOsDBjxTVwp845EBcXX3Wp14OZg= oakhUmuI7tEQOGZcaH4LmqMc1yCSM_dPHsuCRrW_oI3YNhNkBpf2etXld3oR9SHpd6M2plKgRxp= WrfFWGGZ_6TjBNzfD8l5P7] Mens Fraternity [http://rs6.net/tn.jsp?e=3D001WGv4xOsDBjyE5KuCqkNJ4Cx6neCmA= VYGXPQftDyxD03gRCxhxKLbSm6lr8whPWZpsECQFdvT0H0tgfJP5sfoEwlw8EbCiPvT49A5RCpg= zXmpcAB1-IWOfdaIOjlA5xqE] Promise Keepers [http://rs6.net/tn.jsp?e=3D001WGv4xOsDBjxBgiJ7rrS_avUD1dsCk= -C49X8BmIU4rlMXdgyY1Je4kiW3CXcfwwJx6z2aMVoN00xnxttVI1BnQHmtsGbTRj0-rqbuVvcq= zyAxZEzRqQBP1F-YQkpAyAYY] CSA Adverts [http://rs6.net/tn.jsp?e=3D001WGv4xOsDBjy1sKXJP7V8Hmy3cypzz9oOb= 1JIicBy_xM-DNLgBf3_vpAWFOA7LDXalXrTHksoAK7Slvy6Mj9dJbYF8WaWG8b1s9MescgNLhuJ= nQL6vx9mzcJUqaTqreBr4o9W5WFnKW7ncz1YqjLLxg=3D=3D] ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~= ~~~~~ Thought of the Week A longer happier life is yours for the taking just by giving. Dr Stephen G. Post ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~= ~~~~~ Frontline Bob Sinclair, renowned DJ, had a worldwide hit in 2005 with 'Love Generatio= n' an afro/dance anthem on the power of love. Perhaps Bob was just echoing the t= houghts to the Carpenters number 1 hit 'What the world needs now is love, sweet lov= e. It's about the only thing that there is just too little of'. Maybe this is the s= ong that inspired Dr Stephen Post to found the 'Institute for Research on Unlimited = Love' in Cleveland, Ohio in 2001 www.unlimitedloveinstitute.org [http://rs6.net/= tn.jsp?e=3D001WGv4xOsDBjzkM3CkDfF9V-blEAul2nr4UaujQNSSOchIhAL0PHwhctOS7tsd-= mRoTjWihxVseVhOr7uXpPPIhb3kGyN_CeCVr3Ndin4ndcmtmnqtWHtbiwQAEnspkc6tKvfQtu7U= E8g=3D] Perhaps it is better to let Dr Post speak for himself: Our focus is love. Not any kind of love mind you, but deeply unselfish love= for=20 others. This is the kind of love enshrined in the golden rule and encourage= d by=20 the world's great moral and spiritual traditions. It lies within us, and on= ly to the extent we bring it forth will there be a meaningful human future... Ralph Waldo Emerson, in his famous essay on the topic of compensation, wrot= e, "It is one of the most beautiful compensations of this life that no man can sin= cerely try to help another without helping himself..." The 16th-century Hindu poet= Tulsidas, as translated by Mohandas K. Gandhi, wrote, "This and this alone is true re= ligion - to serve others. This is sin above all other sin - to harm others. In ser= vice=20 to others is happiness. In selfishness is misery and pain." Every major religion recommends the discovery of a deeper and more profound= human nature, designated in various ways as the "true self." In Acts 20, we find = the words, "'Tis better to give than to receive," and these echo down into the Prayer = of St. Francis. Now science says it's so... In one impressive study that began in 1956, 427 wives and mothers who lived= in upstate New York were followed for 30 years by researchers at Cornell University. T= he researchers were able to conclude that regardless of number of children, marital status= , occupation, education, or social class, those women who engaged in volunteer work to he= lp other people at least once a week lived longer and had better physical functionin= g, even after adjusting for baseline health status. (Moen, et al., 1989)... Strikingly, just thinking about giving seems to have a physiological impact= . In=20 the 1980s,the renowned Harvard behavioral psychologist David McClelland dis= covered that Harvard students who were simply asked to watch a film about Mother Te= resa's work tending to orphans in Calcutta - a manifestation of profound compassio= n - showed significant increases in the 20 protective antibody salivary immunoglobulin= A (S-IgA), when compared with those watching a neutral film. McClelland termed this th= e "Mother Teresa Effect." Moreover, S-IgA remained high for an hour after the film in= those subjects who were asked to focus their minds on times when they had loved o= r been loved. Thus, "dwelling on love" strengthened the immune system (McClelland, et al., 1988, p. 345). Full article at It's Good to be Good [http://rs6.net/tn.jsp?e=3D001WGv4xOsD= BjwKJTVjF_jImo6WcxzwpssbupAwIxSFEcYko4NeBKQrXN_DZM1PAgoFuhLWTPduOGgK_9nqI1D= Qi0egGfBw2ge6F_AH3tnXsqbF20KH_XJ_vFrwkJJEix47VJdlUcp1sLRKEeJZD1UoXv3mpAn5UZ= Xxi-Rt7aMzxHXfigETwf-lSJq1nqD_v3ed] by Stephen G. Post Ph.D Lovework I call what Dr Stephen Post and hundreds of other researchers around the wo= rld are discovering, 'The Law of Unlimited Love'. Love is the most powerful force i= n the Universe. It lies within each of us, waiting to be used. If you don't use = it, you lose it, but if you use your love by giving it away, it multiplies. If you = want=20 to check your love creativity score, do the quiz [http://rs6.net/tn.jsp?e= =3D001WGv4xOsDBjz35hVV1iHedgoQHH4eYS2hm4gWoou0Dklnps7J5NXbog3gbH1x04oyV43EX= w2UQj0zq5wpWFM_bYkBISP5uyrJJcTfiT2yIDdGU_RsqZ-fo7yi2gES5IVGkkKqKe0j72hzZA02= hmFbImfpxjM7t03G]. Better still put the law of unlimited love into action in your family and b= e a great dad and a better husband. Yours for unlimited love Warwick Marsh PS. We aim to have a Men and Father's Family Friendly Policy Forum in Parli= ament House in mid-March 2008. If you are interested in receiving an invitation = to attend please contact us at: info@fatherhood.org.au [mailto:info@fatherhood.org.au= ] Space is limited, but we always do our best to include those with a passion for f= amily-friendly policy change. ___________________________________________________________________________= ___ Warwick Marsh has been married to Alison for 32 years. He is the grandfath= er of two children and father of five children, four boys and one girl, ranging = in age from 27 years to 15 years. Warwick is a musician, songwriter, producer and= public speaker who likes to think he can still laugh at himself. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~= ~~~~~ Laughter HOW TO CALL THE POLICE WHEN YOU'RE OLD AND DON'T MOVE FAST ANYMORE. Bill Wilson of Gold Coast, Australia was going up to bed when his wife told= him=20 that he'd left the light on in the garden shed, which she could see from th= e bedroom window. Bill opened the back door to go turn off the light but saw that there were = people in the shed stealing things. He phoned the police, who asked "Is someone in your house?" and he said"No"= . Then they said that all patrols were busy, and that he should simply lock h= is door and an officer would be along when available. Bill said,"Okay," hung up, co= unted to 30, and phoned the police again. "Hello, I just called you a few seconds ago because there were people steal= ing things from my shed. Well, you don't have to worry about them now because I've jus= t shot them." Then he hung up. Within five minutes three police cars, an Armed Response Unit, and an ambul= ance=20 showed up at the Wilson`s residence and caught the burglars red-handed. One of the Policemen said to Bill, "I thought you said that you'd shot them= !" Bill said, "I thought you said there was nobody available!" ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~= ~~~~~ Grandfathers 'Still The One' by Orleans We've been together since way back when Sometimes I never want to see you again But I want you to know After all these years You're still the one I want whisperin' in my ear You're still the one I want to talk to in bed Still the one that turns my head We're still having fun and you're still the one You're still the one that makes me laugh Still the one that's my better half We're still having fun and you're still the one You're still the one that makes me strong Still the one I want to take along We're still having fun And you're still the one (yes you are) Changing, our love is going gold Even though we grow old, it grows new You're still the one that I love to touch Still the one and I can't get enough We're still having fun and you're still the one You're still the one who can scratch my itch Still the one and I wouldn't switch We're still having fun and you're still the one You are still the one that makes me shout Still the one that I dream about We're still having fun and you're still the one You're still the one, Yeah, still the one We're still having fun and you're still the one [http://rs6.net/tn.jsp?e=3D001WGv4xOsDBjxzC-P3SsYWDrj1T-hoZfAr_Fi0aWi0Yf4nY= 7a7DKFuKG44NPjIcI4VuuG_YjcQEJ3DjYzocR9u3ZZ_ek-w2HuTOGSBboqP_00fylBfunlbO3s1= f5PGVBE2FFAzdDxh6ZNS9fqH1KFMCw=3D=3D] Watch the video clip [http://rs6.net/tn.jsp?e=3D001WGv4xOsDBjxzC-P3SsYWDrj1= T-hoZfAr_Fi0aWi0Yf4nY7a7DKFuKG44NPjIcI4VuuG_YjcQEJ3DjYzocR9u3ZZ_ek-w2HuTOGS= BboqP_00fylBfunlbO3s1f5PGVBE2FFAzdDxh6ZNS9fqH1KFMCw=3D=3D] ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~= ~~~~~ All You Need is Love Hold Me Some close friends filed for divorce. When we explained the situation to ou= r boys, they were confused and declared, 'We don't understand. They were so happy w= henever we were with them.' I asked what they would do if they were married and the= ir wife got upset and mad and even treated them mean. Without hesitation, my younge= st Philip, declared, "I would hold her." How could a four year old know the security a= woman feels when a pair of strong arms gently wraps around her!? When I am stress= ed or worried, my heart immediately softens if my husband simply holds me. I ask= ed Philip WHY he would hold her. He explained that that's what Dad always says in the= ceremony. Philip had witnessed several of the vow renewal services that conclude our = marriage conference weekends. As in a wedding ceremony, Sam leads couples to repeat = their vows, "To have and to hold from this day forward". Unlike many married cou= ples, Philip took these vows literally. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~= ~~~~~ Single Dads Standing Strong in Forgiveness I promised I would write this article a few weeks ago but have been a bit c= aught up so please forgive my tardiness. Since then I have been served court doc= uments where my ex-wife has lodged an application with the court that I only have = contact with our daughter, if she wants to. This week I was knocked off my push bik= e by=20 a car on the way to work. Praise the Lord for His protection as there were = no broken bones only bruises. The Lord tells us that He won't give us anything that w= e can't handle, but Lord I have enough right now. Now the reason for writing: Reading your newsletter has angered, left me du= mb founded and inspired me. Angered and dumb founded from the point of view that men are now promoting = father's are irrelevant and the perpetrators of all domestic violence, Alan Howe's a= rticle issue 284. Where is the balanced view of the domestic violence committed by= women against men? If you follow the Domestic Violence brochure issued by the Fam= ily Court and Federal Magistrates courts of Australia. * 'Family violence affects everyone in a family, including children' * 'Family violence can occur before during and after separation.' As well as physical and sexual assaults, family violence may include: * Verbal abuse * Threats * Harassment * Intimidation * Controlling behaviours such as limiting access to friends, relatives, fin= ances etc. This is certainly my experience. It is 16 months since I have seen my 10 ye= ar old daughter, even though there are court orders in place for contact every sec= ond weekend and half of every school holidays. All of the above 5 points have been used= by my ex-wife to prevent our daughter contact with her loving father. Inspired * by people like Warwick Marsh of the Fatherhood Foundation, Tony Miller of= dads in distress, Barry Williams of Lone Fathers and every person fighting the = good=20 fight, championing the cause for children and their fathers. * Also articles like Jayne's story, issue 282. In fact the day I printed ou= t that newsletter I was thinking of just letting go of my daughter and praying tha= t one day she would come and find me. Reading that story through tear filled eye= s was like having my spine re-aligned and strengthened with a steel rod. In that inspiring movie Braveheart, William Wallace asked Robert the Bruce = to 'unite the clans' to defeat the British. It is time for men to unite in the common= cause to defeat the evil of Fatherless Children in our wonderful country. Mothers= are=20 equally important as fathers, I am not anti-mothers/woman but what we now h= ave is inequality. It took both a mother and a father to create our children there= fore=20 it must take both a mother and a father to raise them. I believe this starts with forgiveness. Forgiving ourselves for whatever wa= s our failure in our marriage/relationship. Even harder forgiving your wife/husb= and for all the things that have done that has hurt you. If Jesus hanging on a cros= s for six hours suffering the most horrific death can cry out to His Father and = ask that God to forgive those who killed Him shouldn't we forgive those who have hur= t us? Hard? You bet, but without this will we be able to focus on the BIG issue,= the=20 destruction of the family unit. I agree with the apology to the Aborigines for the stolen generation, but w= ill we ever see an apology for the stolen children by the Australian Government's = Family Law Act? Please everyone involved in this cause UNITE, there is power in numbers. Al= l it=20 takes for the forces of evil to rule this world are for enough good people = to do nothing Yours in brotherhood Andrew ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~= ~~~~~ Special Feature The Power of Love Love is the best antidepressant - but many of our ideas about it are wrong.= The=20 less love you have, the more depressed you are likely to feel. By: Ellen McGrath [mailto:letters@psychologytoday.com] http://psychologytoday.com [http://rs6.net/tn.jsp?e=3D001WGv4xOsDBjxg0pnZBA= 01kYmMxwmnr4eWfMc4XcLay0Ezn2wQzVerNnkK_me5aDCD9czRymMpMbZIvrReWIKShKnEMd8DK= 03nLodeTatgE0qeHtCPgmJRkA=3D=3D] Love is as critical for your mind and body as oxygen. It's not negotiable. = The more connected you are, the healthier you will be both physically and emotionall= y. The less connected you are, the more you are at risk. It is also true that the less love you have, the more depression you are li= kely=20 to experience in your life. Love is probably the best antidepressant there = is because one of the most common sources of depression is feeling unloved. Most depre= ssed=20 people don't love themselves and they do not feel loved by others. They als= o are very self-focused, making them less attractive to others and depriving the= m of=20 opportunities to learn the skills of love. There is a mythology in our culture that love just happens. As a result, th= e depressed often sit around passively waiting for someone to love them. But love doesn= 't work that way. To get love and keep love you have to go out and be active and le= arn a variety of specific skills. Most of us get our ideas of love from popular culture. We come to believe t= hat love is something that sweeps us off our feet. But the pop-culture ideal of love= consists of unrealistic images created for entertainment, which is one reason so man= y of=20 us are set up to be depressed. It's part of our national vulnerability, lik= e eating junk food, constantly stimulated by images of instant gratification. We thi= nk it is love when it's simply distraction and infatuation. One consequence is that when we hit real love we become upset and disappoin= ted because there are many things that do not fit the cultural ideal. Some of us get de= manding and controlling, wanting someone else to do what we think our ideal of roma= nce should be, without realizing our ideal is misplaced. It is not only possible but necessary to change one's approach to love to w= ard off depression. Follow these action strategies to get more of what you want out= of life - to love and be loved. Recognize the difference between limerance and love. Limerance is the psych= ological state of deep infatuation. It feels good but rarely lasts. Limerance is tha= t first stage of mad attraction whereby all the hormones are flowing and things fee= l so=20 right. Limerance lasts, on average, six months. It can progress to love. Lo= ve mostly starts out as limerance, but limerance doesn't always evolve into love. Know that love is a learned skill, not something that comes from hormones o= r emotion particularly. Erich Fromm called it "an act of will." If you don't learn th= e skills of love you virtually guarantee that you will be depressed, not only becaus= e you will not be connected enough but because you will have many failure experi= ences. Learn good communication skills. They are a means by which you develop trus= t and intensify connection. The more you can communicate the less depressed you = will=20 be because you will feel known and understood. There are always core differences between two people, no matter how good or= close you are, and if the relationship is going right those differences surface. = The issue then is to identify the differences and negotiate them so that they don't d= istance you or kill the relationship. You do that by understanding where the other person is coming from, who tha= t person is, and by being able to represent yourself. When the differences are known= you=20 must be able to negotiate and compromise on them until you find a common gr= ound=20 that works for both. Focus on the other person. Rather than focus on what you are getting and ho= w you are being treated, read your partner's need. What does this person really = need=20 for his/her own well-being? This is a very tough skill for people to learn = in our narcissistic culture. Of course, you don't lose yourself in the process; yo= u make sure you're also doing enough self-care. Help someone else. Depression keeps people so focused on themselves they do= n't get outside themselves enough to be able to learn to love. The more you can foc= us on others and learn to respond and meet their needs, the better you are going= to do in love. Develop the ability to accommodate simultaneous reality. The loved one's reality is as important as your own, and you need to be as = aware of it as of your own. What are they really saying, what are they really ne= eding? Depressed people think the only reality is their own depressed reality. Actively dispute your internal messages of inadequacy. Sensitivity to rejec= tion=20 is a cardinal feature of depression. As a consequence of low self-esteem, e= very=20 relationship blip is interpreted far too personally as evidence of inadequa= cy. Quick to feel rejected by a partner, you then believe it is the treatment you fun= damentally deserve. But the rejection really originates in you, and the feelings of in= adequacy are the depression speaking. Recognize that the internal voice is strong but it's not real. Talk back to= it.=20 "I'm not really being rejected, this isn't really evidence of inadequacy. I= made a mistake." Or "this isn't about me, this is something I just didn't know = how to do and now I'll learn." When you reframe the situation to something more ad= equate, you can act again in an effective way and you can find and keep the love th= at you need. Psyched for Success, 1 December 2002 Last Reviewed 6 Dec 2007 Article ID: 2486 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~= ~~~~~ News & Info COMPASS: THE NEW DAD (Australian Men: Pt 1) Sunday 24 February at 22:05 ABC1 ABCTV Following the success of our three-part dinner series with women, Geraldine= now=20 turns her attention to Aussie men to find out what matters to them and what= doesn't in the 21st century. In episode 1: The New Dad, Geraldine invites five men to the table to ask: = What=20 does it mean to be a dad in today's modern world? Gone are the days when me= n brought home the bacon and were the unquestioned head of the household. Today the r= ole of dad can be anything men choose to make it and in this episode we meet an ec= lectic group of dads who've come together to bare their souls about all things bab= ies,=20 bath-times and bedlam! A lively and profound addition to the great Australi= an values debate. ____________________________________________________________________ STAY-AT-HOME dads could get paid for their caring job as the Rudd Governmen= t orders an inquiry into government-funded paid maternity leave. Read about :Paid Paternity Leave for Dads [http://rs6.net/tn.jsp?e=3D001WGv= 4xOsDBjyR9I2tsHsJBpdU9NtWlEBcGa6O3pJrex_ij8fcesdgk8A51LZrQ0fvEBE5AIRo4yMdpu= -wERUlGprUQqpVYBGd76OqYdftfq1Bf8XJ7Q2IjWvzqMb8xtsaBO_yb_OckA3EMkVq6I1tas8_a= QIQOUkmoHah5WHlFsg=3D] ___________________________________________________________________________= __ When father does know best Link to the Herald Sun Article [http://rs6.net/tn.jsp?e=3D001WGv4xOsDBjyolt= QarNsP6HDThzchmJrLDsQxf_ETSaRrXmL_VXmG8uJyLkH5NkgT4o55dPR_um0aoM9v1japa-b_2= PDEEOlgaCWJmOSfJv8h_BHc_Sn_46b6nQPi9OkY5czSguj6bU81kaufdYr0AewSZjFuUPW9_y3u= uzODs2tDC7bnopoCu6GyL8cdXF6w] Bill Muehlenberg February 11, 2008 12:00am A DD one part political correctness to two parts social engineering and thr= ee parts biotechnology and what do you get? The redundant male. Scientists in Britain say they are able to produce sperm without men. As reported in New Scientist, British researchers say they can turn female = bone=20 marrow into sperm through the use of chemicals and vitamins. The process may further smooth the way to cut men out of family life altoge= ther. But is in the best interests of the children? More than four decades of social science research says no. Simply put, father absence has been shown to be a major disadvantage to the= wellbeing of children. Consider some economic consequences. In America, among families with dependent children, only 8 per cent of marr= ied couples were living below the poverty line, compared with 47 per cent of households= where a female was the head of the house. In Australia, a study was made of 500 divorcees with children, five to eigh= t years after the separation. The study found that four in five divorced mothers were dependent on social= security after their marriages dissolved. A Melbourne University study of 212 children found that fathers had a great= er beneficial influence on children in their first year of school than mothers. Criminal involvement is also greatly impacted by parental divorce and growi= ng up with dad. Another British study found a direct statistical link between single parent= hood=20 and major crime including mugging, violence against strangers, car theft an= d burglary. From nations as diverse as Finland and South Africa, a number of studies ha= ve found that anywhere from 50 to 80 per cent of psychiatric patients come from brok= en homes. And there is a much greater risk of child abuse when the biological father = is absent. In Australia, former Human Rights Commissioner Brian Burdekin reported a 50= 0 to=20 600 per cent increase in sexual abuse of girls in families where the adult = male=20 was not the natural father. With the rise of fatherlessness, Australia and the Western world have exper= ienced a marked rise in social problems. And the brunt of these problems have been borne by children. We owe it to our children to do better. Bill Muehlenberg is secretary of the Family Council of Victoria _____________________________________________________ Report: British Children Estranged From Their Fathers December 5, 2007 | From theTrumpet.com A recent study reveals 26 percent of British boys and girls don't consider = their father to be immediate family. British children are growing disturbingly estranged from their fathers, acc= ording to statistics released in a recent report. The study, conducted by Newsroun= d, a=20 children's news program affiliated with the BBC, was released Monday. Newsround editor Sinead Rocks said her crew members were "very surprised an= d a little disheartened" by the study's insight into British families. They found that= one=20 quarter of British children do not consider their father to be immediate fa= mily. Among lower-class households, the figure rose to one third (Telegraph, Dec= ember 3 [http://rs6.net/tn.jsp?e=3D001WGv4xOsDBjxMmbB8THWeaOQt7Wg_GOmQ-Qldtxld5t= QvAlCp33m0zlTcw1EvSkIgn_z2WZ52eP55QSklHK1IOHK4UO5HdPV1zouX1Z7S0NTRVKtE_M9jj= -40UvzTduGyPdJvOnX-P0hM6uq1JyV0j2uOaXRRXgWPMUNwMAYnL2mjjLaFfgdlEz44wDj2cyY6= ZS_ZNMODCBo=3D]). Newsround [http://rs6.net/tn.jsp?e=3D001WGv4xOsDBjxzQoEK4MTNt4m0xuEIDUercgK= md9qBy8kjqS1xV1vtvfX3XKU5Sy77tpMLDraxJxGG78mSFzRHdVa-V-UYSIz3XxYRdcHTCnc2E2= 3rfBO643V_MzpPrEnC-a_ufxZbJbI=3D] found that 76 percent of children would turn to their mothers "if something= went wrong." Only 11 percent would turn to their fathers. The survey also showe= d that more boys look up to soccer players as role models (25 percent) than look u= p to=20 their fathers (14 percent). The survey sampled 1,000 children ages 6 to 12. Many other scientific studies show what common logic or a deep conversation= with a fatherless boy or girl already reveals: Children without involved father= s suffer. These children are more likely to drop out of school, more likely to become= welfare-dependent, more likely to live in poverty and more likely to become violent criminals. How did we reach the point where one in four children thinks of his or her = father as outside the immediate family? The soccer statistic leads to one clue: the media. While the god-making, pr= ofit-skimming machinery of mass media glorifies to the point of deification a young athle= tic male who is capable of doing one thing well, the masculine leading father has be= en sidelined and, in many cases, cut from the team altogether. Trumpet editor in chief Gerald Flurry has emphasized [http://rs6.net/tn.jsp= ?e=3D001WGv4xOsDBjx3HmccCn_s3x99VcFiEVj1Nylbr-VD91D1r4RQyBEYJT3G80h_CEp6sc4= yNpIIlYS-GhgymwYBQYULe35RsVdbpoOZSVkXLU0LLqc8cP_3NirM4J4Sdtg4UQhQhymCmM6Q3D= oZ10Z1nrh1OuphOjyM] the fact that fatherhood is "the core institution of our society." But that= core is disintegrating. In many households, it is no longer there at all. Try this experiment at home: Keep a pen and scrap paper next to your televi= sion=20 remote. If and when you watch a prime-time show, summarize the role of the = father, if there is one. Before you compile even a full week's findings, you might = find=20 yourself very surprised and a little disheartened. The Western intellectual establishment and mainstream media corporations ha= ve hypothesized and pop-culturized the essential father right out of the Western family. So= ciety has now "advanced" to a state where a masculine, loving, leading father is= not=20 only hard to find, but also considered archaic and even evil by experts in = psychology, sociology, mass media and government. The best he can do on network televis= ion is perform the antics of a doddering clown. Gerald Flurry has emphasized the imperative importance of fatherhood more t= han any voice crying out today. In a civilization where only 11 out of 100 children= would think of turning to their fathers when they need help, his booklet Conspira= cy Against Fatherhood [http://rs6.net/tn.jsp?e=3D001WGv4xOsDBjxWB-3cphFYBogDQoYVxMzv9E= pYSo1PfDpQhl9HaLRDNvVMczzx3qaGIvlKsZe93V9jY5-wKyNUxM6OrM2lZWNLTUH1Wrizputr7= 1fmXfylmQA9Kfm2I5bSwHL8VRr2kLYnX91OW4QU68n7_AoJRmJdi3Dsort4Uag=3D] becomes essential reading. This booklet reveals the causes of fragmenting f= atherhood, going far deeper than the mass media's role. For more on fatherhood, also read "The Best Man I Ever Knew [http://rs6.net= /tn.jsp?e=3D001WGv4xOsDBjxgmVG7lxwTlAoIi8YfMHwLRL_xqG1YLsDUkPulibGUUBXnvpXw= lRe3fK_DifGWZbqneYb7UvEuoyHHA_IkoCHQ0U5_-BsztQwsFX7YU87kKq45ug-2kM4IS1TDIIq= yCMRJKTL8uEOoPQ=3D=3D]" and "Daddy's Girl [http://rs6.net/tn.jsp?e=3D001WGv4xOsDBjx8GKjTFwLjKOG785N= bT5P_L1haHGc1I-dXX36V8HBTSHosN7X1Wh7XOQQjbx-emr2vxD2RkDQ484B0LOxhAFZIU0OF4K= IE47_mrhYQmPjuCGJ8t4izSgzTnXe_a-YUaha-jkq3XKP2jSremGSfOE1l]." =B7 Link to the Full article [http://rs6.net/tn.jsp?e=3D001WGv4xOsDBjwkXSK4Y0NO= SxoxFhQJrAKi4gCbLcgSwmYo1YrY1GaPAqEMhqjuL_q6q5P9FkAdbeDhhenNtZ8qSWv3JyLDjle= XupvPxIZHd4-IYfQIvAQaCgEcYjikWUb9dLXrdC17PH5StWL12DTjcPcnNvRWJ0vk] ___________________________________________________________________________= _ Open for Business - Western Australia. Noel Giblett BA, BSW, MAASW 0431 848 835 Coaching, Counselling, Psychotherapy & Spiritual Direction Groups, Workshops & Retreats Noel Giblett BA, BSW, MAASW has commenced a private practice in coaching, c= ounselling, psychotherapy and spiritual direction. His strongest areas of interest and = experience are men's issues, couples therapy, personal growth and spirituality. For further information phone: 0431 848 835 Email: noel@noelgiblett.com.au [mailto:noel@noelgiblett.com.au] ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~= ~~~~~ Dad's Prayer Dear God Do you mean to tell me that I can live a longer, happier life just by loving more? Is that why you said that the greatest commandment is to love you and the second is very similar, to love our neighbour. Maybe you are trying to tell us that We are all made in your image and as we respect others, we respect and honour you And vice versa. Now I get it . . . That's why you said, "These three things remain, faith, hope and love but the greatest of these is love." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~= ~~~~~ Help Us! The Fatherhood Foundation is a Harm Prevention Charity. Fatherlessness and inadequate fathering has been proven to be a source of h= arm.=20 The Fatherhood Foundation helps children by promoting excellence in father= ing.=20 Excellent fathers are in word and deed: responsible, involved, protective, = loving and committed to the well-being of their children and their children's moth= er. If you would like to give financially to the Fatherhood Foundation Public F= und and receive tax deductibility: Fatherhood Foundation Public Fund (Name, address and amount details must be emailed for a receipt for tax ded= uctibility) Westpac Branch Wollongong BSB: 032 695 A/C: 25-5558 Or mail cheque and address details to: PO Box 440 WOLLONGONG NSW 2520 AUSTRALIA The Fatherhood Foundation Public Fund is a public fund listed on the Regis= ter of Harm Prevention Charities under Subdivision 30_EA of the Income Tax Assessm= ent Act 1997. You have received the fathersonline.org newsletter because you have subscri= bed,=20 or you have been subscribed by a friend. If you do not wish to receive fut= ure emails, please click the UNSUBSCRIBE button below. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~= ~~~~~ Forward email http://ui.constantcontact.com/sa/fwtf.jsp?m=3D1101938345415&ea=3Dblane@uow.= edu.au&a=3D1101984690165 This email was sent to blane@uow.edu.au, by info@fathersonline.org Update Profile/Email Address http://visitor.constantcontact.com/d.jsp?v=3D001jm8CFGIzLJHYg-gJRLc-3d90mBL= DU8ykdUbuPv3a3sQl1aRwfrNfOCP6B94AYvjhLn_Otix3mXlWvz7UvcGnOw%3D%3D&p=3Doo Instant removal with SafeUnsubscribe(TM) http://visitor.constantcontact.com/d.jsp?v=3D001jm8CFGIzLJHYg-gJRLc-3d90mBL= DU8ykdUbuPv3a3sQl1aRwfrNfOCP6B94AYvjhLn_Otix3mXlWvz7UvcGnOw%3D%3D&p=3Dun Privacy Policy: http://ui.constantcontact.com/roving/CCPrivacyPolicy.jsp Email Marketing by Constant Contact(R) www.constantcontact.com Fatherhood Foundation | P.O. Box 542 | Unanderra | NSW | 2526 | Australia ------=_Part_2643760_1286886513.1203970298306 Content-Type: text/html; charset=iso-8859-1 Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable
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25  February 2008 &nbs= p;      Inspiring Fathers  &nbs= p;Encouraging Families Issue 288
=09=09=
The Law of Unlimited Love
 
=09=09
=09
=09=09
Dear Brian,

Welcome to the Fatherhood Foundation newsletter and ema= il information service for the fathers and families as together we explore = unlimited love...

=09=09 =09=09 =09=09 =09=09=09 =09=09 =09=09 =09=09=09 =09=09 =09=09=09 =09=09 =09=09=09 =09=09 =09=09=09 =09=09 =09=09=09 =09=09=09 =09=09 =09=09=09 =09=09 =09=09=09 =09=09 =09=09
In This Issue
Frontline...The Law of Unlimited Love
Laughter..Smart for his age
Grandfathers...Read the lyrics & watch the video<= /a>
All You Need is Love..Hugs help
Single Dads...Standing strong in forgiveness<= /td> =09=09
Special Feature...Love is the best anti-depressant
News & Info...Dads being noticed
Dad's Prayer..Love is the greatest
Next Week Brian,   =
 <= font size=3D"4">Iron John-The Masculine Journey
 =09=09=09=09 =09=09
 
Join our Mailing List!
 
=09=09
Quick Links<= /strong>
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
=09
=09=09
T= hought of the Week
    =20

3D"Dad_Son

 

A longer happier life

is= yours for the taking

ju= st by giving.

 = ;

Dr Stephen G. P= ost

 = ;
Frontline
  =20

3D"Man_womanBob Sinclair, renowned DJ, had a wo= rldwide hit in 2005 with 'Love Generation' an afro/dance anthem on the powe= r of love. Perhaps Bob was just echoing the thoughts to the Carpenters numb= er 1 hit 'What the world needs now= is love, sweet love. It's about the only thing that there is just too litt= le of'. Maybe this is the song that inspired Dr Stephen Post to found t= he 'Institute for Research on Unlimited Love' in Cleveland, Ohio in 2001 www.unlimite= dloveinstitute.org  Perhaps it is better to let Dr Post speak for himself:

 

<= span style=3D"FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana; mso-ansi-language: EN-= US">Our focus is love. Not any kind of love mind yo= u, but deeply unselfish love for others. This is the kind of love enshrined= in the golden rule and encouraged by the world's great moral and spiritual= traditions. It lies within us, and only to the extent we bring it forth wi= ll there be a meaningful human future...

 

Ralph Waldo Emerso= n, in his famous essay on the topic of compensation, wrote, "It is <= /span>one of the most beautiful compensations of this life that no man can s= incerely try to help another without helping himself..." The 16th-century H= indu poet Tulsidas, as translated by Mohandas K. Gandhi, wrote, "This and t= his alone is true religion - to serve others. This is sin above all other s= in - to harm others. In service to others is happiness. In selfishness is m= isery and pain."

 

Every major religi= on recommends the discovery of a deeper and more profound human nature, des= ignated in various ways as the "true self." In Acts 20, we find the words, "'Tis better to give tha= n to receive," and these echo down into the Prayer of St. Francis. Now science says it's so...

 

In one impressive = study that began in 1956, 427 wives and mothers who lived in upstate New York we= re followed for 30 years by researchers at Cornell University. The research= ers were able to conclude that regardless of number of children, marital st= atus, occupation, education, or social class, those women who engaged in vo= lunteer work to help other people at least once a week lived longer and had= better physical functioning, even after adjusting for baseline health stat= us. (Moen, et al., 1989)...

 

Strikingly, just thinking about giving see= ms to have a physiological impact. In the 1980s,the renowned = Harvard behavioral psychologist David McClelland discovered that Harvard students who were simply asked to watch a film about Mother Te= resa's work tending to orphans in Calcutta - a manifestation of profound co= mpassion - showed significant increases in the 20 protective antibody saliv= ary immunoglobulin A (S-IgA), when compared with those watching a neutral f= ilm. McClelland termed this the "Mother Teresa Effect." Moreover, S-IgA rem= ained high for an hour after the film in those subjects who were asked to f= ocus their minds on times when they had loved or been loved. Thus, "dwellin= g on love" strengthened the immune system

<= span style=3D"FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana; mso-ansi-language: EN-= US">(McClelland, et al., 1988, p. 345).

 

Full article = at It's Good to be Good by Stephen G. Post Ph.D

 

= Lovework

 

I call what D= r Stephen Post and hundreds of other researchers around the world are disco= vering, 'The Law of Unlimited Love'. Love is the most powerful force in the= Universe. It lies within each of us, waiting to be used. If you don't use = it, you lose it, but if you use your love by giving it away, it multiplies.= If you want to check your love creativity score, do the quiz. Better still put the law of unlimited love into action in= your family and be a great dad and a better husband.

 

Yours for unl= imited love

Warwick Marsh

 

PS. We aim to= have a Men and Father's Family Friendly Policy Forum in Parliament House i= n mid-March 2008. If you are interested in receiving an invitation to atten= d please contact us at: info@fatherhood.org.au Space is= limited, but we always do our best to include those with a passion for fam= ily-friendly policy change.

 
______________________________________________________________________= ________
 

Warwick Marsh  = ;has been married to Alison for 32 years. He is the grandfather o= f two children and father of five children, four boys and one girl, ranging= in age from 27 years to 15 years.  Warwick is a musician, songwr= iter, producer and public speaker who likes to think he can still laugh at = himself.

=09=09
Laughter
 

= HOW TO CALL THE POLICE WHEN YOU'RE 3D"Hamburgla=OLD AND DON'T MOVE FAST ANYMORE.=



= Bill opened the back door to go turn off th= e light but saw that there were people in the shed stealing things.<= /strong>

He pho= ned the police, who asked "Is someone in your house?" and he said"No".

Then they said that all patrols were busy, and that he should simply l= ock his door and an officer would be

"Hello, I just called you a few seconds ago because th= ere were people stealing things from my shed. Well, you don't have to worry= about them now because I've just shot them." Then he hung up.

Within five= minutes three police cars, an Armed Response Unit, and an ambulance showed= up at the Wilson`s residence and caught the burglars red-handed.

One of t= he Policemen said to Bill, "I thought you said that you'd shot them!"

Bill=  said, "I thought you said there was nobody available!"

 

<= a name=3D"LETTER.BLOCK12" />
Grandfathers
 =20

'Still The One' b= y Orleans

 

We've been together since way back when3D"Orleans

Sometimes I never want to see you again

But I want you to know

After all these years

You're still the one

I want whisperin' in my ear

 

You're still the one I want to talk to in bed

Still the one that turns my head

We're still having fun and you're still the one

 

You're still the one that makes me laugh

Still the one that's my better half

We're still having fun and you're still the one

 

You're still the one that makes me strong

Still the one I want to take along

We're still having fun

And you're still the one (yes you are)

 

Changing, our love is going gold

Even though we grow old, it grows new

 

You're still the one that I love to touch

Still the one and I can't get enough

We're still having fun and you're still the one

 

You're still the one who can scratch my itch

Still the one and I wouldn't switch

We're still having fun and you're still the one

 

You are still the one that makes me shout

Still the one that I dream about

We're still having fun and you're still the one

 

You're still the one, Yeah, still the one

We're still having fun and you're still the one

 

Watch the video clip

All You Need is Love
 

3D"CoupleHold Me

 

Some c= lose friends filed for divorce. When we explained the situation to our boys= , they were confused and declared, 'We don't understand. They were so happy= whenever we were with them.' I asked what they would do if they were marri= ed and their wife got upset and mad and even treated them mean. Without hes= itation, my youngest Philip, declared, "I would hold her." How could a four= year old know the security a woman feels when a pair of strong arms gently= wraps around her!? When I am stressed or worried, my heart immediately sof= tens if my husband simply holds me. I asked Philip WHY he would hold her. H= e explained that that's what Dad always says in the ceremony.

 

Philip= had witnessed several of the vow renewal services that conclude our marria= ge conference weekends. As in a wedding ceremony, Sam leads couples to repe= at their vows, "To have and to hold from this day forward". Unlike many mar= ried couples, Philip took these vows literally.

=09=09 =09=09
Single Dads

 

 = ;

= Standing Strong in Forgiveness3D"Dad=<= /p>

 

I promised I = would write this article a few weeks ago but have been a bit caught up so p= lease forgive my tardiness.  = Since then I have been served court documents where my ex-wife has lodged a= n application with the court that I only have contact with our daughter, if= she wants to.  This week I w= as knocked off my push bike by a car on the way to work. Praise the Lord fo= r His protection as there were no broken bones only bruises.  The Lord tells us that He won't give us an= ything that we can't handle, but Lord I have enough right now.

 

Now the reaso= n for writing: Reading your newsletter has angered, left me dumb founded an= d inspired me.

 

Angered and dumb founded from = the point of view that men are now promoting father's are irrelevant and th= e perpetrators of all domestic violence, Alan Howe's article issue 284.  Where is the balanced view of t= he domestic violence committed by women against men?  If you follow the Domestic Violence brochure issue= d by the Family Court and Federal Magistrates courts of Australia. 

  • 'Family violence affects everyone in = a family, including children'
  • 'Family violence can occur before dur= ing and after separation.'

 = As well as physical and sexual assaults, family violence may include:<= /span>

  • Verbal abuse
  • Threats
  • Harassment
  • Intimidation
  • Controlling behaviours such as limiting access to friends, relatives, finances etc.

This is certainly my experience.  It is 16 months since I have seen= my 10 year old daughter, even though there are court orders in place for c= ontact every second weekend and half of every scho= ol holidays.  All of the abov= e 5 points have been used by my ex-wife to prevent our daughter contact wit= h her loving father.

 

= Inspired

  • by people like Warwick Marsh of the F= atherhood Foundation, Tony Miller of dads in distress, Barry Williams of Lo= ne Fathers and every person fighting the good fight, championing the cause = for children and their fathers.
     
  • Also articles like Jayne's story, iss= ue 282.  In fact the day I pr= inted out that newsletter I was thinking of just letting go of my daughter = and praying that one day she would come and find me.  Reading that story through tear filled eyes was li= ke having my spine re-aligned and strengthened with a steel rod.

In that inspi= ring movie Braveheart, William Wallace asked Robert the Bruce to 'unite the= clans' to defeat the British.  It is time for men to unite in the common cause to defeat the evil of Fa= therless Children in our wonderful country.  It took both a mother and a father to create our childre= n therefore it must take both a mother and a father to raise them.

 

I believe thi= s starts with forgiveness.  F= orgiving ourselves for whatever was our failure in our marriage/relationshi= p.  Even harder forgiving you= r wife/husband for all the things that have done that has hurt you.  If Jesus hanging on a cross for six= hours suffering the most horrific death can cry out to His Father and ask = that God to forgive those who killed Him shouldn't we forgive those who hav= e hurt us?  Hard? You bet, bu= t without this will we be able to focus on the BIG issue, the destruction o= f the family unit.

 

I agree with = the apology to the Aborigines for the stolen generation, but will we ever s= ee an apology for the stolen children by the Australian Government's Family= Law Act?

 

Please everyo= ne involved in this cause UNITE, there is power in numbers.  All it takes for the forces of evil to rule this world are for enough go= od people to do nothing

 

Yours in brot= herhood

Andrew=

Special Feature
 
The Power of Love
 

Love is the best antidep= ressant - but many of our ideas about it are wrong. The less love you have,= the more depressed you are likely to feel.

By: <= a href=3D"mailto:letters@psychologytoday.com" target=3D"_blank">Ellen McGrath

http://psychol= ogytoday.com

 

Love is as critical for = your mind and body as oxygen. It's not negotiable. The more connected you a= re, the healthier you will be both physically and emotionally. The less con= nected you are, the more you are at risk.

It is also true that the= less love you have, the more3D"Couple depression you are likely to experience in your life. Love is p= robably the best antidepressant there is because one of the most common sou= rces of depression is feeling unloved. Most depressed people don't love the= mselves and they do not feel loved by others. They also are very self-focus= ed, making them less attractive to others and depriving them of opportuniti= es to learn the skills of love.

 

There is a mythology in our culture tha= t love just happens. As a result, the depressed often sit around passively = waiting for someone to love them. But love doesn't work that way. To get lo= ve and keep love you have to go out and be active and learn a variety of sp= ecific skills.

Most of us get our ideas of love from p= opular culture. We come to believe that love is something that sweeps us of= f our feet. But the pop-culture ideal of love consists of unrealistic image= s created for entertainment, which is one reason so many of us are set up t= o be depressed. It's part of our national vulnerability, like eating junk f= ood, constantly stimulated by images of instant gratification. We think it = is love when it's simply distraction and infatuation.

One consequence is that when we hit rea= l love we become upset and disappointed because there are many things that = do not fit the cultural ideal. Some of us get demanding and controlling, wa= nting someone else to do what we think our ideal of romance should be, with= out realizing our ideal is misplaced.

It is not only possible but necessary t= o change one's approach to love to ward off depression. Follow these action= strategies to get more of what you want out of life - to love and be loved= .

 

Recognize the difference between limera= nce and love. Limerance is the psychological state of deep infatuation. It = feels good but rarely lasts. Limerance is that first stage of mad attractio= n whereby all the hormones are flowing and things feel so right. Limerance = lasts, on average, six months. It can progress to love. Love mostly starts = out as limerance, but limerance doesn't always evolve into love.

Know that love is a learned skill, not = something that comes from hormones or emotion particularly. Erich Fromm cal= led it "an act of will." If you don't learn the skills of love you virtuall= y guarantee that you will be depressed, not only because you will not be co= nnected enough but because you will have many failure experiences. <= /span>

 

Learn good communication skills. They a= re a means by which you develop trust and intensify connection. The more yo= u can communicate the less depressed you will be because you will feel know= n and understood.

There are always core differences betwe= en two people, no matter how good or close you are, and if the relationship= is going right those differences surface. The issue then is to identify th= e differences and negotiate them so that they don't distance you or kill th= e relationship.

You do that by understanding where the = other person is coming from, who that person is, and by being able to repre= sent yourself. When the differences are known you must be able to negotiate= and compromise on them until you find a common ground that works for both.=

 3D"Depression"

Focus on the other person. Rather than = focus on what you are getting and how you are being treated, read your part= ner's need. What does this person really need for his/her own well-being? T= his is a very tough skill for people to learn in our narcissistic culture. = Of course, you don't lose yourself in the process; you make sure you're als= o doing enough self-care.

Help someone else. Depression keeps peo= ple so focused on themselves they don't get outside themselves enough to be= able to learn to love. The more you can focus on others and learn to respo= nd and meet their needs, the better you are going to do in love.

 

Develop the ability to accommodate simu= ltaneous reality.

 

The loved one's reality is as important= as your own, and you need to be as aware of it as of your own. What are th= ey really saying, what are they really needing? Depressed people think the = only reality is their own depressed reality.

Actively dispute your internal messages= of inadequacy. Sensitivity to rejection is a cardinal feature of depressio= n. As a consequence of low self-esteem, every relationship blip is interpre= ted far too personally as evidence of inadequacy. Quick to feel rejected by= a partner, you then believe it is the treatment you fundamentally deserve.= But the rejection really originates in you, and the feelings of inadequacy= are the depression speaking.


Recognize that the internal voice= is strong but it's not real. Talk back to it. "I'm not really being reject= ed, this isn't really evidence of inadequacy. I made a mistake." Or "this i= sn't about me, this is something I just didn't know how to do and now I'll = learn." When you reframe the situation to something more adequate, you can = act again in an effective way and you can find and keep the love that you n= eed.

 

Psyched for Success, 1 December 2002Last Reviewed 6 Dec 2007
Article ID: 2486

 


 

 

 

News & Info
3D"News

COMPASS: THE NEW DAD (Australian Men: Pt 1)
Sunday 24 February at = 22:05 ABC1


ABC TV

Following the success of our three-part dinner series with women, Gerald= ine now turns her attention to Aussie men to find out what matters to them = and what doesn't in the 21st century.
In episode 1: The New Dad, Gera= ldine invites five men to the table to ask: What does it mean to be a dad i= n today's modern world? Gone are the days when men brought home the bacon a= nd were the unquestioned head of the household. Today the role of dad can b= e anything men choose to make it and in this episode we meet an eclectic gr= oup of dads who've come together to bare their souls about all things babie= s, bath-times and bedlam! A lively and profound addition to the great Austr= alian values debate.

____________________________________________________________________
 
STAY-AT-HOME dads could get paid for their caring job as the Rudd Gover= nment orders an inquiry into government-funded paid maternity leave.=
 

________________________________________= _____________________________________

 

When father does know best

&nbs= p;Bill Muehlenberg

February 11, 200= 8 12:00am

 
A DD one part political cor= rectness to two parts social engineering and three parts biotechnology and = what do you get?

The redundant male.

Scientists in Britain say they are able t= o produce sperm without men.

As reported in New Scientist, British res= earchers say they can turn female bone marrow into sperm through the use of= chemicals and vitamins.

The process may further smooth the way to= cut men out of family life altogether.

But is in the best interests of the child= ren?

More than four decades of social science = research says no.

Simply put, father absence has been shown= to be a major disadvantage to the wellbeing of children.

Consider some economic consequences.

In America, among families with dependent= children, only 8 per cent of married couples were living below the poverty= line, compared with 47 per cent of households where a female was the head = of the house.

In Australia, a study was made of 500 div= orcees with children, five to eight years after the separation.

The study found that four in five divorce= d mothers were dependent on social security after their marriages dissolved= .

A Melbourne University study of 212 chi= ldren found that fathers had a greater beneficial influence on children in = their first year of school than mothers.

Criminal involvement is also greatly impa= cted by parental divorce and growing up with dad.

Another British study found a direct stat= istical link between single parenthood and major crime including mugging, v= iolence against strangers, car theft and burglary.

From nations as diverse as Finland and So= uth Africa, a number of studies have found that anywhere from 50 to 80 per = cent of psychiatric patients come from broken homes. <= /p>

And there is a much greater risk of child= abuse when the biological father is absent.

In Australia, former Human Rights Commiss= ioner Brian Burdekin reported a 500 to 600 per cent increase in sexual abus= e of girls in families where the adult male was not the natural father.

With the rise of fatherlessness, Australi= a and the Western world have experienced a marked rise in social problems. =

And the brunt of these problems have been= borne by children.

We owe it to our children to do better. <= /font>

Bill Muehlenberg is secretary of the Family Cou= ncil of Victoria

_____________________________________________________
 

Report: British Children Estranged From Their Fathers

December 5, 2007 | From theTrump= et.com

= = A recent study reveals 26 percent of British boys and girls don't con= sider their father to be immediate family.

British= children are growing disturbingly estranged from their fathers, according = to statistics released in a recent report. The study, conducted by Newsroun= d, a children's news program affiliated with the BBC, was released Monday. =
Newsround editor Sinead Rocks said her crew members were= "very surprised and a little disheartened" by the study's insight into Bri= tish families. They found that one quarter of British children= do not consider their father to be immediate family. Among lower-class hou= seholds, the figure rose to one third (Telegraph, December 3).

Newsroun= d found that 76 percent of children would turn to their mothers = "if something went wrong." Only 11 percent would turn to their fathers. The survey also showed that more boys look up to soccer pl= ayers as role models (25 percent) than look up to their fathers (14 percent= ).

The survey= sampled 1,000 children ages 6 to 12.

Many other scientific studies show wha= t common logic or a deep conversation with a fatherless boy or girl already= reveals: Children without involved fathers suffer. These children are more= likely to drop out of school, more likely to become welfare-dependent, mor= e likely to live in poverty and more likely to become violent criminals.

How did we reach the point where one i= n four children thinks of his or her father as outside the immediate family= ?

The soccer statistic leads to one clue= : the media. While the god-making, profit-skimming machinery of mass media = glorifies to the point of deification a young athletic male who is capable = of doing one thing well, the masculine leading father has been sidelined an= d, in many cases, cut from the team altogether.

Trumpet edit= or in chief Gerald Flurry has emphasized the fact that fatherhood is "the core institution of our society." But that core is dis= integrating. In many households, it is no longer there at all.

Try this experiment at home: Keep a pe= n and scrap paper next to your television remote. If and when you watch a p= rime-time show, summarize the role of the father, if there is one. Before y= ou compile even a full week's findings, you might find yourself very surpri= sed and a little disheartened.

The Western intellectual establishment= and mainstream media corporations have hypothesized and pop-culturized the= essential father right out of the Western family. Society has now "advance= d" to a state where a masculine, loving, leading father is not only hard to= find, but also considered archaic and even evil by experts in psychology, = sociology, mass media and government. The best he can do on network televis= ion is perform the antics of a doddering clown.

Gerald Flurry has emphasized the imper= ative importance of fatherhood more than any voice crying out today. In a c= ivilization where only 11 out of 100 children would think of turning to the= ir fathers when they need help, his booklet Conspiracy Against Fatherhood becomes essentia= l reading. This booklet reveals the causes of fragmenting fatherhood, going= far deeper than the mass media's role.

For more on fatherhood, also rea= d "The Best Man I Ever Knew" and "Daddy's Girl." =B7

Link to the Full article

______________________________________________________________________= ______
 

= Open for Business - Western Australia.=

 

Noel Giblett
BA, BSW, MAASW
0431 848 835

Coaching, Counselling, Psychotherapy &
Spiritual Direction
Groups, Workshops & Retreats

<= font face=3D"Verdana,Geneva,Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif"> 

<= font face=3D"Verdana,Geneva,Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif">Noel Giblett BA, BS= W, MAASW has commenced a private practice in coaching, counselling, psychot= herapy and spiritual direction. His strongest areas of interest and experie= nce are men's issues, couples therapy, personal growth and spirituality.

<= font face=3D"Verdana,Geneva,Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif"> 

<= font face=3D"Verdana,Geneva,Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif">For further informa= tion phone: 0431 848 835

<= font face=3D"Verdana,Geneva,Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif">Email: noel@noelgiblett.com.au

 

D= ad's Prayer
  &= nbsp;           &nbs= p;     3D"Love

<= font color=3D"#009966" size=3D"5">Dear God

 

<= font color=3D"#009966" size=3D"5">Do you mean to tell me

<= font color=3D"#009966" size=3D"5">that I can live a longer, happier life

<= font color=3D"#009966" size=3D"5">just by loving more?=

<= font color=3D"#009966" size=3D"5">Is that why you said that the greatest co= mmandment

<= font color=3D"#009966" size=3D"5">is to love you and the second is very sim= ilar,

<= font color=3D"#009966" size=3D"5">to love our neighbour.

<= font color=3D"#009966" size=3D"5">Maybe you are trying to tell us that

<= font color=3D"#009966" size=3D"5">We are all made in your image and =

<= font color=3D"#009966" size=3D"5">as we respect others, we respect and hono= ur you

<= font color=3D"#009966" size=3D"5">And vice versa.

<= font color=3D"#009966" size=3D"5">Now I get it . . .

<= font color=3D"#009966" size=3D"5">That's why you said,=

<= font color=3D"#009966" size=3D"5">"These three things remain, faith, hope a= nd love

<= font color=3D"#009966" size=3D"5">but the greatest of these is love."

         &n= bsp;          3D"Family_Loving"
=09 =09
=09=09 =09=09
Help Us!

The Fatherhood Foundation is a Harm Pre= vention Charity.
Fatherlessness and inadequate fathering has been pro= ven to be a source of harm. The Fatherhood Foundation helps children b= y promoting excellence  in fathering. Excellent fathers are in word an= d deed: responsible, involved, protective, loving and committed to the well= -being of their children and their children's mother.

 

If you would like to give financially t= o the Fatherhood Foundation Public Fund and receive tax deductibility:

 

Fatherhood Foundation Public Fu= nd
(Name, address and amount details must be emailed for a r= eceipt for tax deductibility)
Westpac Branch Wollongong
BSB: 032 = 695
A/C: 25-5558

 

Or mail cheque and address details to:<= br />PO Box 440
WOLLONGONG  NSW&nb= sp; 2520
AUSTRALIA

 

The Fatherhood Foundation Public Fund&n= bsp; is a public fund listed on the Register of Harm Prevention Charities u= nder Subdivision 30_EA of the Income Tax Assessment Act 1997.=

 

You have received the fatherson= line.org newsletter because you have subscribed, or you have been = subscribed by a friend.  If you do not wish to receive future emails, = please click the UNSUBSCRIBE button below.

=09=09 =09=09
=09 =09
=09 =09
3D"Safe
This email was sent to blane@uow.edu.au, by i= nfo@fathersonline.org
Fatherhood Foundati= on | P.O. Box 542 | Unanderra | NSW | 2526 | Australia
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