Received: from evaki.its.uow.edu.au ([130.130.68.32]) by anubis.ad.uow.edu.au with Microsoft SMTPSVC(6.0.3790.3959); Sun, 6 Jan 2008 09:41:58 +1100 Received: from febris-nat.its.uow.edu.au ([130.130.68.210] helo=febris.its.uow.edu.au) by evaki.its.uow.edu.au with esmtp (Exim 4.63) (envelope-from ) id 1JBHiJ-000687-78 for blane@uow.edu.au; Sun, 06 Jan 2008 09:41:59 +1100 Received: from servervs1.bosweb.local (eth3951.nsw.adsl.internode.on.net [150.101.126.110]) by febris.its.uow.edu.au (MOS 3.8.5-GA) with ESMTP id HLM47962; Sun, 6 Jan 2008 09:41:56 +1100 (EST) Received: from servervs1 ([127.0.0.1]) by servervs1.bosweb.local with Microsoft SMTPSVC(6.0.3790.3959); Sun, 6 Jan 2008 09:40:50 +1100 Thread-Topic: More Adventure Reply-To: Message-ID: <5AE85E9410434A1EAF4B84895EAD6286@bosweb.local> thread-index: AchP7AV58VGBc06bQ4WLUQpg39t9yw== From: To: Subject: More Adventure Date: Sun, 6 Jan 2008 09:40:50 +1100 MIME-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: multipart/alternative; boundary="----=_NextPart_000_23AF_01C85048.38EB20E0" X-Mailer: Microsoft CDO for Windows 2000 Content-Class: urn:content-classes:message Importance: normal Priority: normal X-MimeOLE: Produced By Microsoft MimeOLE V6.00.3790.4133 X-OriginalArrivalTime: 05 Jan 2008 22:40:50.0296 (UTC) FILETIME=[057C2F80:01C84FEC] X-Junkmail-Status: score=10/49, host=febris.its.uow.edu.au X-Junkmail-SD-Raw: score=unknown, refid=str=0001.0A010203.478007B5.00E3,ss=1,fgs=0, ip=150.101.126.110, so=2007-07-31 18:51:00, dmn=5.4.3/2007-11-16 Return-Path: info@fathersonline.org This is a multi-part message in MIME format. ------=_NextPart_000_23AF_01C85048.38EB20E0 Content-Type: text/plain; charset="iso-8859-1" Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit Unable to read this email? Please click here Issue 281 - 7th January 2008 Go to our website Here * Hello & Welcome Brian * Grandads * Laughter * Single Dads * Special Feature * Thought of the Week * All You Need is Love * News & Info * Dad's Prayer * Help Us Hello & Welcome Brian January is the time of the year when the cicadas fill the hot Australian bush with their noisy drumming. The annual summer holidays are on, and while a lot of dads can't get time off work, most grab a week or two of holidays with their family. Holidays for busy mums and dads is a time to do nothing, relax, sleep, eat, and generally laze around. For our children, it is the exact opposite. They are looking for adventure, fun, excitement, change, the opportunity to hang out with friends and make new ones. This provides many dads with a huge challenge. This is probably a good reason to have children when you are young so that you are fit enough to keep up with their seemingly boundless reserves of exuberant summer-holiday energy. The other option as a dad is to keep physically fit all year round by some consistent effort at the gym or chosen sporting activity so that you don't collapse into your lazy chair for the duration of the summer holidays. Children need adventure, excitement and fun; both girls and boys, but particularly boys. Just this week I noticed a very interesting report out of Great Britain that state-run nursery centres are finally going to allow children to play gun games. The article noted that boys needed toys they could actually enjoy playing with for their full potential of mental development to be realised. This signals a major shift in the powers that be and triumph of common sense in the process. John Eldridge, author of ' Wild at Heart' puts it this way. "Capes and swords, camouflage, bandannas and six-shooter - these are the uniforms of boyhood. Little boys yearn to know they are powerful, they are dangerous, they are someone to be reckoned with. How many parents have tired in vain to prevent little Timmy from playing with guns? Give it up. If you do not supply a boy with weapons, he will make them from whatever materials are at hand. My boys chew their graham crackers into the shape of hand guns at the breakfast table. Every stick of fallen branch is a spear, or better, a bazooka. Despite what many modern educators would say, this is not a psychological disturbance brought on by violent television or chemical imbalance. . . . A boy wants to attack something - and so does a man, even if it's only a little white ball on a tee. He wants to whack it into kingdom come. On the other hand, my boys do not sit down to tea parties. They do not call their friends on the phone to talk about relationships. They grow bored of games that have no element of danger or competition or bloodshed. Cooperative games based on 'relational interdependence' are complete nonsense. "No one is killed?" they ask, incredulous. "No one wins? What's the point?" The universal nature of this ought to have convinced us by now: The boy is a warrior, the boy is his name. And those are not boyish antics he is doing. When boys play at war they are rehearsing their part in a much bigger drama. One day, you just might need that boy to defend you" Girls also enjoy the spirit of adventure and fun too. Adventure is a great way to build relational interdependence. Quite often it is possible to find activities that the whole family will enjoy in one way or another over the summer holidays. Let me suggest a few possibilities: Family outing to the bush for: picnics, barbecues, hiking, exploration, rock climbing, cave exploring, mountain bike riding, sightseeing, swimming, canoeing, white water rafting, hunting, freshwater fishing, horse riding, archery. Family outing to the beach for: jumping waves, swimming, surfing, building sandcastles, snorkelling, spear-fishing, scuba diving, beach fishing, and rock fishing. Some other suggestions are: boat fishing in the river/estuary, deep sea fishing, fun parks, sailing, the zoo, museums, trampolining, animal parks, family fun games, jumping castles, sport of all types and the list of family holiday activities goes on and on. Lovework Get out of the easy chair and go do something with you family. It will be winter soon!! Yours for more adventure Warwick Marsh PS We are making some adjustments to our weekly newsletter and redoing our mailing list. Should you find yourself not receiving our weekly newsletter for some reason beyond our control, please either resubscribe your self at the website or send us an email so that we can resubscribe you. ___________________________________________________________ Warwick Marsh has been married to Alison for 32 years. He is the father of five children, four boys and one girl, ranging in age from 26 years to 14 years. Warwick is a musician, songwriter, producer and public speaker who likes to think he can still laugh at himself. back to top Grandads Adventure isn't hanging on a rope on the side of a mountain. Adventure is an attitude that we must apply to the day to day obstacles of life - facing new challenges, seizing new opportunities, testing our resources against the unknown and in the process discovering our own unique potential. John Amatt back to top Laughter Two Irishmen were standing at the base of a flagpole, looking up at it. A blonde walks by and asked what they were doing. Paddy: 'We're supposed to find the height of this flagpole, but we don't have a ladder.' The blonde took a spanner from her purse, loosened a few bolts and laid the flagpole down. She pulled a tape measure from her pocket, took a few measurements and announced that it was eighteen feet and six inches. She then walked off. Mick said: 'Now, to be sure, isn't that just like a blonde! We need the height and she gives us the length.' back to top Single Dads Another Beginning? Well, this is the final piece of the puzzle. Or is it? It should be, but the reality is that it is another beginning. In this series of articles we've looked at the problems and challenges encountered as the path towards 'Shared Care' was trodden; the unsuccessful attempts at conciliation, the unfounded domestic violence applications, the often hurtful false allegations that seemed to be aimed at isolating me from friends and family right down to the denial of access to records kept at our daughters day care centre. From what I know now none of this is unusual; in fact it's been quite mild in comparison to events that some have had to endure. For that I am extremely grateful. So, to the final part of this record of events. Once an application for shared care orders has been made, the proceedings picked up in pace. The Federal Magistrates Court organised a mediation session with a court appointed counselor, a well experienced person with great skill and compassion. My ex did not attend at the office instead using the phone to call in. The issue here is that this meeting was meant to be face to face with the counselor present to assist and guide in the meeting. In hindsight, the use of the phone did little to help the situation; it left doubt as to whether the original intention of a meeting of 3 people was met. The counselor firstly spoke with each of us separately and then the situation with regards to the court processes was explained in detail to us jointly. My ex's position was little changed from her application in that she wanted to actually reduce my time with our daughter and to relocate to live with her new partner to improve her life. More unfounded allegations were raised against me during the session; it was disappointing to say the least. Despite the best efforts of the counselor, no agreement was reached. A date was set for a court 'mention', that is we appeared in court to decide on a 'trial' date; this was set and agreed to and then the real work of putting the case in place started. In the lead up to the case; many hours had been spent with the lawyer working on an affidavit; this document sets out the history that lay behind the applications together with supporting evidence if the application is being opposed, which it was. The court appointed a social worker to interview us both, (as it turned out my ex again did not want to be present in the same room), our daughter was seen with each of us and separately. The social worker was again a well experienced person and I was very impressed with the level of skill and impartiality demonstrated. The social worker submitted an affidavit to the court detailing their findings. From the outset I had kept my focus on what I believed was best for our daughter, despite the natural inclination to defend myself against the allegations that had been made and with the active support of my lawyer and family I stuck to that strategy. It was a positive approach, we made no allegations against my ex and offered no response when, as part of the process, we both had the opportunity to view each others affidavits and respond ahead of the trial. The allegations and objections were made by the other side and the reality was that they were without foundation. It was also a fact that, in the lead up, there were a number of opportunities to add or modify the content of the affidavits submitted. We made one or two minor changes but kept very strictly to putting our case positively and refraining from making any allegations or criticisms of the other side. Far from it, my affidavit stated that she was a good mother who looked after our daughter well which is true. On the day of the trial and ahead of the actual court sitting there was a deal of discussion between the barristers and lawyers from both sides, trying even at this late hour to reach an agreement. We received an offer which whilst an improvement in time to share, fell short of the application we had made. There was an underlying feeling of mistrust due to the events and the content of the various affidavits. The offer was rejected and we entered the court. My ex opted not to give any evidence; the reality being that the allegations and objections were unfounded and there could not have been any. This meant that there was no need for me to stand in the witness box in defence of my position. The affidavit from the social worker was read and entered into evidence, apart from things which are best left unsaid, it found that there was no difference in the nature of the relationship between my ex and our daughter and the relationship between myself and our daughter; a strong bond existed between us. The recommendation was that an order should be made for substantial time and a shared care order. Some days later, in fact whilst I was in a meeting, the lawyer phoned and told me that we had a full shared responsibility and week and week-about shared time set of court orders. Elation falls well short of the initial feeling, it was a win for our daughter but it left, for all of the reasons, a bitter-sweet taste. Another court dispute and another family lay broken. Now what? It's a beginning, there is much work to be done to improve the level of communication between my ex and I and lots of learning and some adjusting of work commitments to meet the requirements of the orders. I am looking forward to those tasks and to being there for our daughter as she grows. I don't expect it to be easy, there will be more challenges, in fact there have already been some, but with God's continued help and guidance our daughter will have the next best thing to a normal family upbringing. I prayed and God gave me a great lawyer I prayed and received Legal Aid I prayed and highly skilled, compassionate and impartial counselor and social worker were appointed I prayed and was given a terrific barrister I prayed and the Magistrate delivered the best possible outcome for our daughter I am very grateful to my God for listening to and answering my prayers, for being there when times got tough and for blessing my daughter and I with this wonderful outcome. My prayers now are that other men in this situation may gain something of value from these articles that they can use to the same effect. My prayers now are that the relationship between my ex and I will improve and that we will be able to work together as a mother and father for the benefit of our daughter. Chris back to top Special Feature 21 GREAT THINGS TO DO! 1. Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully. 2. Marry a man/woman you love to talk to. As you get older, their conversational skills will be as important as any other. 3. Don't believe all you hear, spend all you have or sleep all you want. 4. When you say, "I love you," mean it. 5. When you say, "I'm sorry," look the person in the eye. 6. Be engaged at least six months before you get married. 7. Believe in love at first sight. 8. Never laugh at anyone's dream. People who don't have dreams don't have much. 9. Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt but it's the only way to live life completely. 10. In disagreements, fight fairly. No name calling. 11. Don't judge people by their relatives. 12. Talk slowly but think quickly. 13. When someone asks you a question you don't want to answer, smile and ask, "Why do you want to know?" 14. Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risk. 15. Say "God bless you" when you hear someone sneeze. 16. When you lose, don't lose the lesson. 17. Remember the three R's: Respect for self; Respect for others; and Responsibility for all your actions. 18. Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship. 19. When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it. 20. Smile when picking up the phone. The caller will hear it in your voice. 21. Spend some time alone. back to top Thought of the Week The eleventh commandment is 'Thou shalt have fun'. Warwick Marsh back to top All You Need is Love Too often people don't think or act 'sanely' when it comes to their marriage problems. Picture this common scenario: a wife is frustrated that her husband doesn't help more around the house. She nags and badgers him but it doesn't inspire him to step up and be more helpful. Her reaction? She gets more persistent in her nagging, sharper in her criticism. Not only does it not have the desired effect, it drives her husband even further from her. Or this scenario: a husband wants his wife to be more budget conscious. He tries to limit her access to their finances, but she still spends lavishly. So he gets more controlling and tries to bully her. The result! She resents his control and becomes more devious to avoid it. When faced with marital challenges we often conclude that we're just not trying hard enough. So we redouble our efforts. The problem is not always a lack of effort. Often the issue is that we apply too much effort in the wrong direction. All relationships are dynamic. There is an ebb and flow between husband and wife that responds to the strengths and weaknesses of each. If you want your relationship to change, instead of trying harder at the same thing, change direction. Try doing something different. If your normal pattern is to nag and then resentfully do his chores yourself, then try not nagging and not doing the chores. Give it time and stay calm. Most people resist being bullied, so if you step back and give him space to do the chores his way in his time, it's much more likely that he'll do them. Likewise for the husband with the extravagant wife. The more you treat her like a child, the more irresponsible she's likely to be. Try doing something radically different, like asking her to take on paying the bills or drawing up a budget. But remember: you have to change your behaviour and your emotional pattern. It won't work if you are hanging onto your resentment or doing this with an expectation that your spouse will fail. Approach this with a sincere desire to see your spouse flourish and whatever happens, it will surely be different to what you expect! Francine & Byron Pirola http://www.celebratelove.com.au back to top News & Info We are making some adjustments to our weekly newsletter and redoing our mailing list. Should you find yourself not receiving our weekly newsletter for some reason beyond our control, please either resubscribe your self at the website or send us an email so that we can resubscribe you. _______________________________________________________ Slim Chance for Fat kids http://www.news.com.au/story/0,23599,23001145-5007146,00.html Letters Dear Fatherhood Foundation Re: Your last newsletter. Well done!!! The nation is being impacted!!! Our love and best wishes From Michael & Alison Goode Families for Life Australia back to top Dad's Prayer Dear God Help me to get out of the house and embark on the adventure of a lifetime. John Amatt is right - adventure is not just hanging on a rope on the side of a mountain. Adventure is an attitude that we must apply to the challenge of life. Mind you it sure does help when we engage in a journey of exploration outside the comfort zone of our own home. So, help me get out of the house with my children these summer holidays to be part of the adventure of life and really enjoy the journey. Oh and by the way, are you sure that it is the 11th commandment? back to top Help Us Click here for more information about us Help Us! The Fatherhood Foundation is a Harm Prevention Charity. Fatherlessness and inadequate fathering has been proven to be a source of harm. The Fatherhood Foundation helps children by promoting excellence in fathering. Excellent fathers are in word and deed: responsible, involved, protective, loving and committed to the well-being of their children and their children's mother. If you would like to give financially to the Fatherhood Foundation Public Fund and receive tax deductibility: Fatherhood Foundation Public Fund (Name, address and amount details must be emailed for a receipt for tax deductibility) Westpac Branch Wollongong BSB: 032 695 A/C: 25-5558 Or mail cheque and address details to: PO Box 440 WOLLONGONG NSW 2520 AUSTRALIA The Fatherhood Foundation Public Fund is a public fund listed on the Register of Harm Prevention Charities under Subdivision 30_EA of the Income Tax Assessment Act 1997. You have received the fathersonline.org newsletter because you have subscribed, or you have been subscribed by a friend. If you do not wish to receive future emails, please click the UNSUBSCRIBE button below or send an email to info@fathersonline.org with the word UNSUBSCRIBE in the subject heading. back to top Click Here to Unsubscribe ------=_NextPart_000_23AF_01C85048.38EB20E0 Content-Type: text/html; charset="iso-8859-1" Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit Fatherhood Foundation
Unable to read this email? Please click here
Issue 281 - 7th January 2008 Go to our website Here


Hello & Welcome Brian

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

January is the time of the year when the cicadas fill the hot Australian bush with their noisy drumming. The annual summer holidays are on, and while a lot of dads can't get time off work, most grab a week or two of holidays with their family.

 

Holidays for busy mums and dads is a time to do nothing, relax, sleep, eat, and generally laze around. For our children, it is the exact opposite. They are looking for adventure, fun, excitement, change, the opportunity to hang out with friends and make new ones. This provides many dads with a huge challenge. This is probably a good reason to have children when you are young so that you are fit enough to keep up with their seemingly boundless reserves of exuberant summer-holiday energy. The other option as a dad is to keep physically fit all year round by some consistent effort at the gym or chosen sporting activity so that you don't collapse into your lazy chair for the duration of the summer holidays.

 

Children need adventure, excitement and fun; both girls and boys, but particularly boys. Just this week I noticed a very interesting report out of Great Britain that state-run nursery centres are finally going to allow children to play gun games. The article noted that boys needed toys they could actually enjoy playing with for their full potential of mental development to be realised. This signals a major shift in the powers that be and triumph of common sense in the process. John Eldridge, author of ' Wild at Heart' puts it this way.

 

"Capes and swords, camouflage, bandannas and six-shooter - these are the uniforms of boyhood. Little boys yearn to know they are powerful, they are dangerous, they are someone to be reckoned with. How many parents have tired in vain to prevent little Timmy from playing with guns? Give it up. If you do not supply a boy with weapons, he will make them from whatever materials are at hand. My boys chew their graham crackers into the shape of hand guns at the breakfast table. Every stick of fallen branch is a spear, or better, a bazooka. Despite what many modern educators would say, this is not a psychological disturbance brought on by violent television or chemical imbalance. . . .

 

A boy wants to attack something - and so does a man, even if it's only a little white ball on a tee. He wants to whack it into kingdom come. On the other hand, my boys do not sit down to tea parties. They do not call their friends on the phone to talk about relationships. They grow bored of games that have no element of danger or competition or bloodshed. Cooperative games based on 'relational interdependence' are complete nonsense. "No one is killed?" they ask, incredulous. "No one wins? What's the point?" The universal nature of this ought to have convinced us by now: The boy is a warrior, the boy is his name. And those are not boyish antics he is doing. When boys play at war they are rehearsing their part in a much bigger drama. One day, you just might need that boy to defend you"

 

Girls also enjoy the spirit of adventure and fun too. Adventure is a great way to build relational interdependence. Quite often it is possible to find activities that the whole family will enjoy in one way or another over the summer holidays. Let me suggest a few possibilities:

Family outing to the bush for: picnics, barbecues, hiking, exploration, rock climbing, cave exploring, mountain bike riding, sightseeing, swimming, canoeing, white water rafting, hunting, freshwater fishing, horse riding, archery.

Family outing to the beach for: jumping waves, swimming, surfing, building sandcastles, snorkelling, spear-fishing, scuba diving, beach fishing, and rock fishing.

Some other suggestions are: boat fishing in the river/estuary, deep sea fishing, fun parks, sailing, the zoo, museums, trampolining, animal parks, family fun games, jumping castles, sport of all types and the list of family holiday activities goes on and on.

 

Lovework

 

Get out of the easy chair and go do something with you family. It will be winter soon!!

 

Yours for more adventure

Warwick Marsh

 

PS We are making some adjustments to our weekly newsletter and redoing our mailing list. Should you find yourself not receiving our weekly newsletter for some reason beyond our control, please either resubscribe your self at the website or send us an email so that we can resubscribe you.

___________________________________________________________

Warwick Marsh  has been married to Alison for 32 years. He is the father of five children, four boys and one girl, ranging in age from 26 years to 14 years.  Warwick is a musician, songwriter, producer and public speaker who likes to think he can still laugh at himself.

back to top

Grandads


Adventure isn't hanging on a rope on the side of a mountain. Adventure is an attitude that we must apply to the day to day obstacles of life - facing new challenges,  seizing new opportunities,

testing our resources against the unknown and in the process discovering our own unique potential.

 

John Amatt

back to top

Laughter

 

Two Irishmen were standing at the base of a flagpole, looking up at it.  A blonde walks by and asked what they were doing.

Paddy: 'We're supposed to find the height of this flagpole, but we don't have a ladder.'

The blonde took a spanner from her purse, loosened a few bolts and laid the flagpole down. She pulled a tape measure from her pocket, took a few measurements and announced that it was eighteen feet and six inches. She then walked off.

Mick said: 'Now, to be sure, isn't that just like a blonde! We need the height and she gives us the length.'

back to top

Single Dads

   

Another Beginning?

 

Well, this is the final piece of the puzzle. Or is it? It should be, but the reality is that it is another beginning.

 

In this series of articles we've looked at the problems and challenges encountered as the path towards 'Shared Care' was trodden; the unsuccessful attempts at conciliation, the unfounded domestic violence applications, the often hurtful false allegations that seemed to be aimed at isolating me from friends and family right down to the denial of access to records kept at our daughters day care centre.

 

From what I know now none of this is unusual; in fact it's been quite mild in comparison to events that some have had to endure. For that I am extremely grateful.

 

So, to the final part of this record of events.

 

Once an application for shared care orders has been made, the proceedings picked up in pace. The Federal Magistrates Court organised a mediation session with a court appointed counselor, a well experienced person with great skill and compassion. My ex did not attend at the office instead using the phone to call in. The issue here is that this meeting was meant to be face to face with the counselor present to assist and guide in the meeting. In hindsight, the use of the phone did little to help the situation; it left doubt as to whether the original intention of a meeting of 3 people was met.

 

The counselor firstly spoke with each of us separately and then the situation with regards to the court processes was explained in detail to us jointly. My ex's position was little changed from her application in that she wanted to actually reduce my time with our daughter and to relocate to live with her new partner to improve her life. More unfounded allegations were raised against me during the session; it was disappointing to say the least.

 

Despite the best efforts of the counselor, no agreement was reached.

 

A date was set for a court 'mention', that is we appeared in court to decide on a 'trial' date; this was set and agreed to and then the real work of putting the case in place started.

 

In the lead up to the case; many hours had been spent with the lawyer working on an affidavit; this document sets out the history that lay behind the applications together with supporting evidence if the application is being opposed, which it was.

 

The court appointed a social worker to interview us both, (as it turned out my ex again did not want to be present in the same room), our daughter was seen with each of us and separately. The social worker was again a well experienced person and I was very impressed with the level of skill and impartiality demonstrated. The social worker submitted an affidavit to the court detailing their findings.

 

From the outset I had kept my focus on what I believed was best for our daughter, despite the natural inclination to defend myself against the allegations that had been made and with the active support of my lawyer and family I stuck to that strategy. It was a positive approach, we made no allegations against my ex and offered no response when, as part of the process, we both had the opportunity to view each others affidavits and respond ahead of the trial. The allegations and objections were made by the other side and the reality was that they were without foundation.

 

It was also a fact that, in the lead up, there were a number of opportunities to add or modify the content of the affidavits submitted. We made one or two minor changes but kept very strictly to putting our case positively and refraining from making any allegations or criticisms of the other side. Far from it, my affidavit stated that she was a good mother who looked after our daughter well which is true.

 

On the day of the trial and ahead of the actual court sitting there was a deal of discussion between the barristers and lawyers from both sides, trying even at this late hour to reach an agreement. We received an offer which whilst an improvement in time to share, fell short of the application we had made. There was an underlying feeling of mistrust due to the events and the content of the various affidavits. The offer was rejected and we entered the court.

 

My ex opted not to give any evidence; the reality being that the allegations and objections were unfounded and there could not have been any. This meant that there was no need for me to stand in the witness box in defence of my position.

 

The affidavit from the social worker was read and entered into evidence, apart from things which are best left unsaid, it found that there was no difference in the nature of the relationship between my ex and our daughter and the relationship between myself and our daughter; a strong bond existed between us. The recommendation was that an order should be made for substantial time and a shared care order.

 

Some days later, in fact whilst I was in a meeting, the lawyer phoned and told me that we had a full shared responsibility and week and week-about shared time set of court orders. Elation falls well short of the initial feeling, it was a win for our daughter but it left, for all of the reasons, a bitter-sweet taste. Another court dispute and another family lay broken.

 

Now what? It's a beginning, there is much work to be done to improve the level of communication between my ex and I and lots of learning and some adjusting of work commitments to meet the requirements of the orders. I am looking forward to those tasks and to being there for our daughter as she grows. I don't expect it to be easy, there will be more challenges, in fact there have already been some, but with God's continued help and guidance our daughter will have the next best thing to a normal family upbringing.

 

I prayed and God gave me a great lawyer

I prayed and received Legal Aid

I prayed and highly skilled, compassionate and impartial counselor and social worker were appointed

I prayed and was given a terrific barrister

I prayed and the Magistrate delivered the best possible outcome for our daughter

 

I am very grateful to my God for listening to and answering my prayers, for being there when times got tough and for blessing my daughter and I with this wonderful outcome.

 

My prayers now are that other men in this situation may gain something of value from these articles that they can use to the same effect.

 

My prayers now are that the relationship between my ex and I will improve and that we will be able to work together as a mother and father for the benefit of our daughter.

 

Chris

 

back to top

Special Feature

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

21 GREAT THINGS TO DO!

 

1. Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.

 

2. Marry a man/woman you love to talk to. As you get older, their conversational skills will be as important as any other.

 

3. Don't believe all you hear, spend all you have or sleep all you want.

 

4. When you say, "I love you," mean it.

 

5. When you say, "I'm sorry," look the person in the eye.

 

6. Be engaged at least six months before you get married.

 

7. Believe in love at first sight.

 

8. Never laugh at anyone's dream. People who don't have dreams don't have much.

 

9. Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt but it's the only way to live life completely.

 

10. In disagreements, fight fairly. No name calling.

 

11. Don't judge people by their relatives.

 

12. Talk slowly but think quickly.

 

13. When someone asks you a question you don't want to answer, smile and ask, "Why do you want to know?"

 

14. Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risk.

 

15. Say "God bless you" when you hear someone sneeze.

 

16. When you lose, don't lose the lesson.

 

17. Remember the three R's: Respect for self; Respect for others; and Responsibility for all your actions.

 

18. Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship.

 

19. When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.

 

20. Smile when picking up the phone. The caller will hear it in your voice.

 

21. Spend some time alone.

 

back to top

Thought of the Week

 

 
 
The eleventh commandment is 
'Thou shalt have fun'.
 
Warwick Marsh
 
 

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All You Need is Love

 

Too often people don't think or act 'sanely' when it comes to their marriage problems. Picture this common scenario: a wife is frustrated that her husband doesn't help more around the house. She nags and badgers him but it doesn't inspire him to step up and be more helpful. Her reaction? She gets more persistent in her nagging, sharper in her criticism. Not only does it not have the desired effect, it drives her husband even further from her.

 

Or this scenario: a husband wants his wife to be more budget conscious. He tries to limit her access to their finances, but she still spends lavishly. So he gets more controlling and tries to bully her. The result! She resents his control and becomes more devious to avoid it.

 

When faced with marital challenges we often conclude that we're just not trying hard enough. So we redouble our efforts. The problem is not always a lack of effort. Often the issue is that we apply too much effort in the wrong direction.

 

All relationships are dynamic. There is an ebb and flow between husband and wife that responds to the strengths and weaknesses of each. If you want your relationship to change, instead of trying harder at the same thing, change direction. Try doing something different. If your normal pattern is to nag and then resentfully do his chores yourself, then try not nagging and not doing the chores.

 

Give it time and stay calm. Most people resist being bullied, so if you step back and give him space to do the chores his way in his time, it's much more likely that he'll do them. Likewise for the husband with the extravagant wife. The more you treat her like a child, the more irresponsible she's likely to be. Try doing something radically different, like asking her to take on paying the bills or drawing up a budget.

 

But remember: you have to change your behaviour and your emotional pattern. It won't work if you are hanging onto your resentment or doing this with an expectation that your spouse will fail. Approach this with a sincere desire to see your spouse flourish and whatever happens, it will surely be different to what you expect!

 

Francine & Byron Pirola

http://www.celebratelove.com.au

 

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News & Info

  

 

 

We are making some adjustments to our weekly newsletter and redoing our mailing list. Should you find yourself not receiving our weekly newsletter for some reason beyond our control, please either resubscribe your self at the website or send us an email so that we can resubscribe you.

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Slim Chance for Fat kids

 

http://www.news.com.au/story/0,23599,23001145-5007146,00.html

 

Letters

 

Dear Fatherhood Foundation

 

Re: Your last newsletter. Well done!!! The nation is being impacted!!!

 

Our love and best wishes

 

From

Michael & Alison Goode

Families for Life Australia

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Dad's Prayer

 

Dear God

 

Help me to get out of the house

and embark on the adventure of a lifetime.

John Amatt is right - adventure is not just hanging
on a rope on the side of a mountain.

Adventure is an attitude that we must apply to the challenge of life.

Mind you it sure does help when we engage in a journey of exploration

outside the comfort zone of our own home.

So, help me get out of the house

with my children these summer holidays

to be part of the adventure of life

and really enjoy the journey.

Oh and by the way, are you sure that it is the 11th commandment?

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Help Us

Click here for more information about us

Help Us!

The Fatherhood Foundation is a Harm Prevention Charity.
Fatherlessness and inadequate fathering has been proven to be a source of harm.

The Fatherhood Foundation helps children by promoting excellence  in fathering. Excellent fathers are in word and deed: responsible, involved, protective, loving and committed to the well-being of their children and their children's mother.

If you would like to give financially to the Fatherhood Foundation Public Fund and receive tax deductibility:

Fatherhood Foundation Public Fund
(Name, address and amount details must be emailed for a receipt for tax deductibility)
Westpac Branch Wollongong
BSB: 032 695
A/C: 25-5558

Or mail cheque and address details to:
PO Box 440
WOLLONGONG  NSW  2520
AUSTRALIA

The Fatherhood Foundation Public Fund  is a public fund listed on the Register of Harm Prevention Charities under Subdivision 30_EA of the Income Tax Assessment Act 1997.

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