Received: from evaki.its.uow.edu.au ([130.130.68.32]) by anubis.ad.uow.edu.au with Microsoft SMTPSVC(6.0.3790.3959); Wed, 5 Dec 2007 12:16:25 +1100 Received: from febris-nat.its.uow.edu.au ([130.130.68.210] helo=febris.its.uow.edu.au) by evaki.its.uow.edu.au with esmtp (Exim 4.63) (envelope-from ) id 1Izisl-0003GB-19 for blane@uow.edu.au; Wed, 05 Dec 2007 12:16:59 +1100 Received: from vmail1.webshield.net.au (vmail1.webshield.net.au [202.78.46.227]) by febris.its.uow.edu.au (MOS 3.8.5-GA) with ESMTP id GUW45460; Wed, 5 Dec 2007 12:16:57 +1100 (EST) Received: (qmail 19509 invoked from network); 5 Dec 2007 01:16:33 -0000 Received: from vmail1.webshield.net.au (HELO COMP1) (202.78.46.227) by vmail1.webshield.net.au with SMTP; 5 Dec 2007 01:16:33 -0000 Received: from COMP1 ([118.67.222.247] helo=COMP1) by ASSP-nospam; 5 Dec 2007 11:46:32 +1030 From: "Fatherhood Foundation" To: "Lane, Brian" Subject: 3/12/2007 Light in the Darkness Date: Wed, 5 Dec 2007 12:16:19 +1100 Message-ID: <002401c836dc$7125b220$6401a8c0@COMP1> MIME-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: multipart/alternative; boundary="----=_NextPart_000_0025_01C83738.A4962A20" X-Mailer: Microsoft Office Outlook 11 Thread-Index: Acg0aRhJNNN3oXfuSfy2Bp3XPhR3OgCcnNYg X-MimeOLE: Produced By Microsoft MimeOLE V6.00.2900.3198 X-Junkmail-Status: score=10/49, host=febris.its.uow.edu.au X-Junkmail-SD-Raw: score=unknown, refid=str=0001.0A010205.4755FB78.00B5,ss=1,fgs=0, ip=202.78.46.227, so=2007-07-31 18:51:00, dmn=5.4.3/2007-11-16 Return-Path: info@fathersonline.org X-OriginalArrivalTime: 05 Dec 2007 01:16:25.0593 (UTC) FILETIME=[74897690:01C836DC] This is a multi-part message in MIME format. ------=_NextPart_000_0025_01C83738.A4962A20 Content-Type: text/plain; charset="us-ascii" Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit Unable to read this email? Please click here Issue 276- 3rd December, 2007 Go to our website Here * Hello <> & Welcome Friend * Grandads <> * Laughter <> * Single Dads <> * Special Feature <> * Thought of the Week <> * All You Need is Love <> * News <> & Info * Dad's Prayer <> * Help Us <> Hello & Welcome Friend It is so easy to get discouraged. The words of that famous poem, Don't Quit, describe it well: 'Life is queer with its twists and turns As every one of us sometimes learns, And many a fellow turns about. When he might have won had he stuck it out. Don't give up though the pace seems slow - You may succeed with another blow. Often the goal is nearer than It seems to a faint and faltering man; Often the struggler has given up When he might have captured the victor's cup; And he learned too late when the night came down How close he was to the golden crown. Success is failure turned inside out - The silver tint of the clouds of doubt, And you never can tell how close you are, It may be near when it seems afar, So stick to the light when you're hardest hit - It's when things seem worst that you mustn't quit. http://www.thedontquitpoem.com/index.htm Discouragement and seeming failure come to us all. It's not what happens that counts, but how we deal with it that really matters. If we build our life on sand, the first storm that comes will knock us over. We have to build our lives on the Rock. Many who see the light at the end of the tunnel are praying and hoping that it is not a train coming through the tunnel, about to run them over. Sometimes in life we feel that we have been run over too many times to even get back up and start moving again. That is where having a good foundation is really important. One man who no doubt felt this way was JC Penney. Os Hillman www.marketplaceleader.org tells his story: J.C. Penney is a name synonymous with department store. He first launched his chain of "The Golden Rule" stores in 1907. In 1910 his first wife died. Three years later, he incorporated as the J.C. Penney Company. In 1923 his second wife died giving birth to his son. In 1929 the stock market crashed and he lost $40 million. By 1932, he had to sell out to satisfy...creditors. This left [Penney] virtually broke. ...Crushed in spirit from his loss and his health suddenly failing, Penney wound up in a Battle Creek, Michigan sanitarium. One morning he heard the distant singing of employees who gathered to start the day with God: Be not dismayed, whate'er betide, God will take care of you.... Penney followed the music to its source and slipped into a back row. He left a short time later a changed man, his health and spirit renewed, and ready to start the long climb back at age fifty-six. By 1951 there was a J.C. Penney store in every state, and for the first time sales surpassed $1 billion a year. JC Penney's full story is found in our Special Feature. In the last week of our most recent Good to Great course we were talking about how men often 'lead lives of quiet desperation' (Thoreau). In our discussion we all agreed that 'no man is an island' (John Donne) and that we all need each other. Rob Feeney, course facilitator, said something very profound, "No man should have to die alone!" The Fatherhood Foundation is determined to provide a place of inspiration and encouragement for men. A safe place, if you will; a cyber space for truth and love; a place to be honest and yet encouraging; a place of inspiration amidst the perspiration and a light on the hill - a reflection of our Father's love. Lovework Read the Special Feature this week, the full story of JC Penney and the inspirational hymn that saved his life. If that doesn't inspire you - nothing will. Yours for not quitting Warwick Marsh ___________________________________________________________ Warwick Marsh has been married to Alison for 32 years. He is the father of five children, four boys and one girl, ranging in age from 26 years to 14 years. Warwick is a musician, songwriter, producer and public speaker who likes to think he can still laugh at himself. back to top <> Grandads Impossibilities vanish when a man and his God confront a mountain. Dr Robert A Schuller back to top <> Laughter Two elderly women were out driving in a large car - both could barely see over the dashboard. As they were cruising along, they came to an intersection. The stoplight was red, but they just went on through. The woman in the passenger seat thought to herself "I must be losing it. I could have sworn we just went through a red light." After a few more minutes, they came to another intersection and the light was red again. Again, they went right thro ugh The woman in the passenger seat was almost sure that the light had been red but was really concerned that she was losing it. She was getting nervous At the next intersection, sure enough, the light was red and they went on through. So,she turned to the other woman and said, "Mildred, did you know that we just ran through three red lights in a row? You could have killed us both!" Mildred turned to her and said, "Oh, crap, am I driving ?" back to top <> Single Dads A Matter of Belief and a Matter of Hope? By Chris. This article is not about the indescribable pain or feelings of hopelessness or sadness and depression that seems to haunt the whole subject of marriage break up and the fate of the children of those unions. This and subsequent articles are about belief and they are about hope; they are about prayer and about focusing on the main game. This story happens to be about the lessons learnt by a Dad; I have little doubt that these lessons could equally apply to a Mum. If I can use an analogy, imagine you are in a canoe and are paddling peacefully downstream when suddenly ahead you see a fork in the river; to the left there are roaring, dangerous rapids that spell disaster; to the right lie calm waters and a safe onward journey. Here's the thing; if you focus your attention on the rapids and how to avoid them and you allow those thoughts to occupy, dwell and grow in your mind, my belief is that your chances of being drawn into them are increased dramatically. However, if your attention and focus is on how you will reach the calm waters, then you are far more likely to achieve that goal. The 'Main Game' in this analogy is clear, to greatly increase the probability of achieving your goal. A wise and kind man, the pastor at the church I attend, once told me that divorce is not the work of God neither is anything that we do that contributes to it. It was with those thoughts as the foundation of my thinking that I set out on the journey to firstly attempt reconciliation with my wife following our separation and then, when that did not work, to focus on achieving a full Shared Care arrangement. It has been a battle, through the full gambit of Domestic Violence allegations, hurtful spreading of rumours, family and friends divided, community counseling sessions and unsuccessful attempts at reconciliation, hopes risen only to be dashed, interviews with Court appointed counselors and social workers culminating in a Trial. Just this week, in the Federal Magistrates Court two days after the trial, the Judgment was handed down; we have a Shared Parental Responsibility and Equal Shared Time arrangement. I don't look upon that outcome as a personal victory but it is for my daughter. My feelings are bitter sweet, I hold no feelings of anger or hurt towards my ex-wife and am looking forward to spending more time with my little girl and to have her know that she is loved and cared for by both of her parents equally. But I am saddened that yet another family has been so damaged. Over the coming weeks I want share with you some of the details of that journey; the support that was given and the steps that I took to arrive at the calming waters of a full Shared Care arrangement. I look forward to having you join me. back to top <> Special Feature The Hymn That Saved J.C. Penney Written by Victor M. Parachin Nothing in James Cash Penney's early life indicated his name would one day become a household word across the United States. Born in 1875, he grew up on a small farm in Kentucky. His father was a minister in the Primitive Baptist Church. Both parents were committed Christians who instilled a deep and abiding faith in their children. While James was a young teenager, his father became the victim of church politics and was removed as the minister. The ensuing financial hardship meant that James had to leave school and take a job to help support the family. He began to work as a store clerk. Although Penney did not realize it at the time, this modest start would prove to be providential and propel him into an illustrious career as a retailer. After working in various stores, Penney was able to purchase a one-third interest in a dry goods store in Kemmerer, Wyo., a mining town of less than a thousand people. The date was April 14, 1902. Penney and his wife lived in a tiny apartment above the store. Their furniture included a large, empty dry goods box for a table and smaller boxes for chairs. Penney's young wife wrapped their firstborn infant in a blanket, allowing him to sleep under a counter while she worked alongside her husband to serve their customers. From that humble beginning, J.C. Penney would eventually preside over 1,700 stores. He would lead the country's largest chain of department stores, each one bearing his name. The influence of Penney's godly parents became evident with the growth of his business. He described his chain as "The Golden Rule Store," based on the words of Jesus in Matthew 7:12: "Therefore, all things whatsoever ye would that men should do to you, do ye even so to them" (KJV). Although Penney's enterprise made him incredibly wealthy, his life was not devoid of setbacks and troubles. Beginning in 1929, a series of events nearly cost Penney his life. When the Great Depression struck the country, it came at a time of great financial vulnerability for Penney. While his stores continued to do well, Penney had been adding outside interests, and these were proving to be extremely costly. In order to finance these outside interests, he borrowed heavily. In addition, Penney was becoming a major philanthropist, giving generously to organizations and individuals. The Depression prompted banks to request repayment of his loans sooner than Penney had anticipated. Suddenly cash flow was tight, and Penney found it difficult to meet payment schedules. Constant and unrelenting worry began to take a toll on Penney. "I was so harassed with worries that I couldn't sleep and developed an extremely painful ailment," he said. Concerned about his deteriorating health, Penney checked himself into the Kellogg Sanitarium at Battle Creek, Mich. It was the Mayo Clinic of its era. Dr. Elmer Eggleston, a staff physician, examined Penney and declared that he was extremely ill. "A rigid treatment was prescribed, but nothing helped," Penney recalled. He was attacked by the twin demons of hopelessness and despair. His very will to live was rapidly eroding. "I got weaker day by day. I was broken nervously and physically, filled with despair, unable to see even a ray of hope. I had nothing to live for. I felt I hadn't a friend left in the world, that even my family had turned against me." Alarmed by his rapidly deteriorating condition, Dr. Eggleston gave Penney a sedative. The effect quickly wore off, and Penney awakened with the conviction that he was living the last night of his life. "Getting out of bed, I wrote farewell letters to my wife and son, saying that I did not expect to live to see the dawn." However, Penney awoke the next morning surprised to find he was alive. Making his way down the hallway of the hospital, he could hear singing coming from the little chapel where devotional exercises were held each morning. The words of the hymn being sung spoke deeply to his condition. Penney entered the chapel and listened with a weary heart to the singing, the reading of the Scripture lesson, and the prayer. "Suddenly something happened," he recalled. "I can't explain it. I can only call it a miracle. I felt as if I had been instantly lifted out of the darkness of a dungeon into a warm, brilliant sunlight. I felt as if I had been transported from hell to paradise. I felt the power of God as I had never felt it before." In a life-transforming instant, Penney knew that God was there to help. "From that day to this, my life has been free from worry," he declared. "The most dramatic and glorious 20 minutes of my life were those I spent in that chapel that morning." The hymn which spoke so eloquently and miraculously to J.C. Penney - God Will Take Care of You. The hymn God used to save Penney's life was written by Civilla Durfee Martin. Not much is known about the hymn writer. She lived from 1866 to 1948, writing the hymn in 1904. The inspiration for the words may have come from 1 Peter 5:7: "Casting all your care upon Him, because He cares about you." The first stanza and refrain read: Be not dismayed whate'er betide, God will take care of you; Beneath His wings of love abide, God will take care of you. God will take care of you, Through ev'ry day, o'er all the way; He will take care of you, God will take care of you. Victor M. Parachin is a writer from Tulsa, Okla. He has written for numerous publications. back to top <> Thought of the Week No man should have to die alone. Rob Feeney back to top <> All You Need is Love It Takes One to Tango Many people believe that a good relationship requires equal effort from both husband and wife. And so, if your spouse is unwilling to change or invest more in the marriage then the relationship is doomed to lack-lustre intimacy, or even steady deterioration. While it is certainly the ideal to have both spouses fully invested and contributing to the marriage, it is not necessary to make a positive and substantial improvement. You can make a difference on your own. How does this work? On this simple principle: if one person changes, they change the dynamic of the relationship and this spontaneously leads the other person to change too. Actually, everybody knows this principle. We just don't access its power to make positive change. How does this work? Let's say your spouse comes home in a really good mood and is being loving and attentive towards you, but you respond by criticising, ignoring or bringing up a touchy subject. We all know how easy it is to kill the positive mood of the other. In fact, this happens all too often; we start out well, but then one of us strikes a small but fatal blow and all of sudden, the good will and positive vibes vanish. In a flash that tentative warm romantic atmosphere turns into an icy wind. One person can most definitely influence the relationship and do so very effectively! Equally so, this principle applies in the positive as well. When your spouse is narky or withdrawn, don't react with your typical comeback. Nagging, criticising or shutting down yourself only perpetuates the cycle of moodiness and diminishes your intimacy. Rather try responding with a more loving gesture. Think about what would help your narky or withdrawn spouse feel loved and do that instead. Perhaps a sympathetic 'I can see you've had a bad day; is there anything I can do to help'? or 'You look like you need some time to yourself right now; why don't you take some time out and I'll handle things here'? Maybe your spouse needs to hear your affirmation and appreciation. Maybe no words are necessary, just silent companionship while you each read the paper or watch a TV show. Whatever way you choose to respond in love, be assured: you can change your marriage for the better with the simple act of changing yourself. All change starts from within. So before we say 'why must I change first', remind yourself: the only person holding you back from changing is yourself! August 2007 C 2007 Celebrate Love Australia. Authors: Francine & Byron Pirola To subscribe to Smart Loving E-newssheet go to: http://www.celebratelove.com.au/html/sl_archive.html back to top <> News & Info The Wild at Heart Boot Camp is booked out! ____________________________________________________ Good to Great Fatherhood Mentoring Course Graduation - Wednesday 28th November 2007 Twenty-five men graduated last Wednesday from Good to Great. Awards were presented by Mayor of Randwick, Bruce Notley-Smith and Mark Sewell, CEO Warrigal Care. Below are some comments expressed by the graduates: 'I know that it has helped focus a lot of what I attempt to do with my family and enabled me to engage with them in an even greater way.' 'I liked everything. It helped with my whole life, wife, kids and family.' 'Excellent diverse speakers and valuable homework.' 'I was able to share ideas with other fathers on the subject of fathering.' 2008 dates for Good to Great will be released early next year. ___________________________________________________ Suicide Workshop An Opportunity For You To Embrace! LifeForce is presenting you with the opportunity to receive a day of our esteemed training in Suicide Prevention free of charge. Please find attached a flier providing you with the details of the workshop to be presented at Corrimal on the 5th December 2007 The workshop is designed for all community members to help them support their colleagues, families and friends. This program not only provides education on what to do in the crisis of suicide but also how to intervene on a daily basis. We look forward to welcoming you to the training session. If interested please call ASAP Sureka Schmidt Program Administrator Lifeforce Suicide Prevention Program Direct: 02 9804 5223 _____________________________________________________ STRENGTHENING FAMILIES CAMPAIGN What Happens When Children Are Denied Equal Shared Parenting Psychological and Health Problems - Greater Behavioural Problems. Single parent children are 3 to 4 times more likely to have emotional or behavioural problems. - Greater Psychological Problems. 84% of teenagers hospitalised for psychiatric care come from single parent homes - Higher Suicide Rate. 75% of teenagers who commit suicide are from single parent homes. - More Drug Abuse. Children from father-absent homes are: twice as likely to use drugs (including alcohol), and 4.3 times more likely to smoke. - Greater Frequency of Sleep Disorders. Single parent children have more trouble falling asleep, more nightmares, and night terrors. - More Persistent Feelings Of Betrayal, Rejection, Rage, Guilt, Pain. Father-absent children experience greater levels of these feelings which last for years with a renewed intensity at adolescence. - Lower Self-Esteem. Children from single parent households suffer from lower self esteem - especially girls. In whose interest is it, for the current situation to continue? traks@tpg.com.au ______________________________________________________ Weddings trend is costly http://www.news.com.au/business/money/story/0,25479,22847415-5014088,00.html _____________________________________________________ Letters Dear Fatherhood Foundation Just wanted to let you know about a bit of a journey that I have been having. I went on-line to see if I could find out how to do a 13th birthday party for my son. As the search went on I eventually ended up with the words, 'rite of passage'. I am not sure if that is how I found Neil Porter's article or not. I then contacted you and Mr. Porter responded with a helpful email, but said that he was right in the middle of a move. Going forth with prayer, knowing God would lead me, I opened a drawer of books that have been given to my husband that he hasn't gotten to yet. There was a book by Brian Molitor about a boy's passage. I picked it up and flipped through, and was absolutely floored by God's loving response to my prayer. It was EXACTLY what I needed. We have no idea where the book came from-my husband says that I gave it to him. Anyway, I was just back on your website and see that you are affiliated with him! We are so exited about having our Rite of Passage Ceremony and the continuing mentoring of our son. We are even going to begin calling him Andrew (manly) after calling him Drew all his life. Keep up the good work. Tracy-from California back to top <> Dad's Prayer Dear God We cannot comprehend your plan. We do not understand your ways. Sometimes, as it says in Lamentations, 'You lead us by a way of darkness and not light!' and yet 'the light shines through the darkness and the darkness comprehended it not'. So, as Bob Dylan sang 'Shine your light, shine your light Shine your light on me, Cos I just can't make it by myself I'm a little too blind to see'. back to top <> Help Us Click here for more information about us Help Us! The Fatherhood Foundation is a Harm Prevention Charity. Fatherlessness and inadequate fathering has been proven to be a source of harm. The Fatherhood Foundation helps children by promoting excellence in fathering. Excellent fathers are in word and deed: responsible, involved, protective, loving and committed to the well-being of their children and their children's mother. If you would like to give financially to the Fatherhood Foundation Public Fund and receive tax deductibility: Fatherhood Foundation Public Fund (Name, address and amount details must be emailed for a receipt for tax deductibility) Westpac Branch Wollongong BSB: 032 695 A/C: 25-5558 Or mail cheque and address details to: PO Box 440 WOLLONGONG NSW 2520 AUSTRALIA The Fatherhood Foundation Public Fund is a public fund listed on the Register of Harm Prevention Charities under Subdivision 30_EA of the Income Tax Assessment Act 1997. You have received the fathersonline.org newsletter because you have subscribed, or you have been subscribed by a friend. If you do not wish to receive future emails, please click the UNSUBSCRIBE button below or send an email to info@fathersonline.org with the word UNSUBSCRIBE in the subject heading. back to top <> Click Here to Unsubscribe ------=_NextPart_000_0025_01C83738.A4962A20 Content-Type: text/html; charset="us-ascii" Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable Fatherhood Foundation

 

 

Issue = 276- 3rd December, 2007

Go to our website Here<= /p>

 

 

 

 

Hello & Welcome = Friend

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It is so easy to get discouraged. The words of that famous poem, Don't Quit, describe it well:

 

'Life is queer with = its twists and turns

As every one of us = sometimes learns,

And many a fellow = turns about.

When he might have = won had he stuck it out.

Don't give up though = the pace seems slow -

You may succeed with = another blow.

Often the goal is = nearer than

It seems to a faint = and faltering man;

Often the struggler = has given up

When he might have = captured the victor's cup;

And he learned too = late

when the night came = down

How close he was to = the golden crown.

Success is failure = turned inside out -

The silver tint of = the clouds of doubt,

And you never can = tell how close you are,

It may be near when = it seems afar,

So stick to the light = when you're hardest hit -

It's when things seem = worst that you mustn't quit.

http://www.thedontquitp= oem.com/index.htm

 

Discouragement and = seeming failure come to us all. It's not what happens that counts, but how = we deal with it that really matters. If we build our life on sand, the first = storm that comes will knock us over. We have to build our lives on the = Rock.

 

Many who see the = light at the end of the tunnel are praying and hoping that it is not a train = coming through the tunnel, about to run them = over.

 

Sometimes in life we = feel that we have been run over too many times to even get back up and start = moving again. That is where having a good foundation is really = important.

 

One man who no doubt = felt this way was JC Penney. Os Hillman www.marketplaceleader.org  tells his story:<= /p>

 

J.C. Penney is a name synonymous with department store. He first launched his chain of = "The Golden Rule" stores in 1907. In 1910 his first wife died. Three = years later, he incorporated as the J.C. Penney Company. In 1923 his = second wife died giving birth to his son. In 1929 the stock market crashed and = he lost $40 million.

 

By 1932, he had to = sell out to satisfy...creditors. This left [Penney] virtually broke. ...Crushed = in spirit from his loss and his health suddenly failing, Penney wound = up in a Battle Creek, Michigan sanitarium. One morning he heard the distant singing of employees = who gathered to start the day with God: Be not dismayed, whate'er = betide, God will take care of you.... Penney followed the music to its source = and slipped into a back row. He left a short time later a changed man, = his health and spirit renewed, and ready to start the long climb back at = age fifty-six.

 

By 1951 there was a = J.C. Penney store in every state, and for the first time sales surpassed = $1 billion a year.

 

JC Penney's full = story is found in our Special Feature.

 

In the last week of = our most recent Good to Great course we were talking about how men often = 'lead lives of quiet desperation' (Thoreau). In our discussion we all agreed = that 'no man is an island' (John Donne) and that we all need each other. Rob = Feeney, course facilitator, said something very profound, "No man = should have to die alone!"

 

The Fatherhood = Foundation is determined to provide a place of inspiration and encouragement for = men. A safe place, if you will; a cyber space for truth and love; a place = to be honest and yet encouraging; a place of inspiration amidst the = perspiration and a light on the hill - a reflection of our Father's = love.

 

Lovework=

 

Read the Special = Feature this week, the full story of JC Penney and the inspirational hymn that = saved his life. If that doesn't inspire you - nothing = will.

 

Yours for not = quitting

Warwick = Marsh

__________________________= _________________________________ =

Warwick Marsh has been married to Alison for 32 years. He is = the father of five children, four boys and one girl, ranging in age from = 26 years to 14 years.  Warwick is a musician, songwriter, = producer and public speaker who likes to think he can still laugh at = himself.

back = to top

Grandads

 

Impossibilities = vanish

when a man and his = God

confront a = mountain.

 

Dr Robert A = Schuller

back = to top

Laughter

 

Two elderly women were out driving in a large car - both = could barely see over the dashboard. As they were cruising along, they = came to an intersection. The stoplight was = red, but they just went on through.
The woman in the passenger seat thought to herself "I must be = losing it. I could have sworn we just went through a red light."
After a few more minutes, they came to another intersection and the = light was red again.
Again, they went right thro ugh The woman in the passenger seat was = almost sure that the light had been red but was really concerned that she = was losing it.

She was getting = nervous At the next intersection, sure enough, the light was red and they went on = through. So,she turned to the other woman and said, "Mildred, did you = know that we just ran through three red lights in a row? You could have killed = us both!"

Mildred turned to her and said, "Oh, crap, = am I driving ?"

 =

back = to top

Single Dads =

 

 

   =

 

A Matter of Belief and a Matter of = Hope?

By = Chris.

 

This article is not = about the indescribable pain or feelings of hopelessness or sadness and = depression that seems to haunt the whole subject of marriage break up and the = fate of the children of those unions.

 

This and subsequent = articles are about belief and they are about hope; they are about prayer and = about focusing on the main game.

 

This story happens to = be about the lessons learnt by a Dad; I have little doubt that these lessons = could equally apply to a Mum.

<= /p>

If I can use an = analogy, imagine you are in a canoe and are paddling peacefully downstream = when suddenly ahead you see a fork in the river; to the left there are = roaring, dangerous rapids that spell disaster; to the right lie calm waters = and a safe onward journey.

 

Here's the thing; if = you focus your attention on the rapids and how to avoid them and you allow = those thoughts to occupy, dwell and grow in your mind, my belief is that = your chances of being drawn into them are increased dramatically. = However, if your attention and focus is on how you will reach the calm waters, = then you are far more likely to achieve that = goal.

 

The 'Main Game' in = this analogy is clear, to greatly increase the probability of achieving = your goal.<= /p>

 

A wise and kind man, = the pastor at the church I attend, once told me that divorce is not the = work of God neither is anything that we do that contributes to it. =

 

It was with those = thoughts as the foundation of my thinking that I set out on the journey to = firstly attempt reconciliation with my wife following our separation and = then, when that did not work, to focus on achieving a full Shared Care = arrangement.

 

It has been a battle, = through the full gambit of Domestic Violence allegations, hurtful spreading = of rumours, family and friends divided, community counseling sessions = and unsuccessful attempts at reconciliation, hopes risen only to be = dashed, interviews with Court appointed counselors and social workers = culminating in a Trial.

 

Just this week, in = the Federal Magistrates Court two days after the trial, the Judgment was handed = down; we have a Shared Parental Responsibility and Equal Shared Time = arrangement.

 

I don't look upon = that outcome as a personal victory but it is for my daughter. My feelings are = bitter sweet, I hold no feelings of anger or hurt towards my ex-wife and am looking forward to spending more time with my little girl and to = have her know that she is loved and cared for by both of her parents equally. = But I am saddened that yet another family has been so = damaged.

 

Over the coming weeks = I want share with you some of the details of that journey; the support that = was given and the steps that I took to arrive at the calming waters of a = full Shared Care arrangement. I look forward to having you join = me.

back = to top

Special = Feature

 

The = Hymn That Saved J.C. Penney

Written by Victor M. = Parachin

 

Nothing in James Cash = Penney's early life indicated his name would one day become a household word = across the United = States. Born in 1875, he grew up on a small farm in Kentucky. His father was a minister in the Primitive Baptist Church. Both parents were committed Christians who instilled a deep and = abiding faith in their children.

While James was a = young teenager, his father became the victim of church politics and was = removed as the minister. The ensuing financial hardship meant that James had = to leave school and take a job to help support the family. He began to = work as a store clerk. Although Penney did not realize it at the time, this = modest start would prove to be providential and propel him into an = illustrious career as a retailer.

 

After working in = various stores, Penney was able to purchase a one-third interest in a dry = goods store in Kemmerer, Wyo., a mining town of less than a thousand people. The date was April 14, = 1902. Penney and his wife lived in a tiny apartment above the store. Their furniture included a large, empty dry goods box for a table and = smaller boxes for chairs. Penney's young wife wrapped their firstborn infant = in a blanket, allowing him to sleep under a counter while she worked = alongside her husband to serve their customers.

 

From that humble = beginning, J.C. Penney would eventually preside over 1,700 stores. He would = lead the country's largest chain of department stores, each one bearing his = name. The influence of Penney's godly parents became evident with the = growth of his business. He described his chain as "The Golden Rule = Store," based on the words of Jesus in Matthew 7:12: "Therefore, all = things whatsoever ye would that men should do to you, do ye even so to = them" (KJV).

 

Although Penney's = enterprise made him incredibly wealthy, his life was not devoid of setbacks and troubles. Beginning in 1929, a series of events nearly cost Penney = his life. When the Great Depression struck the country, it came at a = time of great financial vulnerability for Penney. While his stores continued = to do well, Penney had been adding outside interests, and these were = proving to be extremely costly. In order to finance these outside interests, he borrowed heavily.

 

In addition, Penney = was becoming a major philanthropist, giving generously to organizations = and individuals. The Depression prompted banks to request repayment of = his loans sooner than Penney had anticipated. Suddenly cash flow was = tight, and Penney found it difficult to meet payment schedules. Constant and unrelenting worry began to take a toll on Penney. "I was so = harassed with worries that I couldn't sleep and developed an extremely = painful ailment," he said.

 

Concerned about his deteriorating health, Penney checked himself into the Kellogg = Sanitarium at Battle Creek, = Mich. It was the Mayo Clinic of its era. Dr. Elmer Eggleston, a staff = physician, examined Penney and declared that he was extremely = ill.

 

"A rigid = treatment was prescribed, but nothing helped," Penney recalled. He was = attacked by the twin demons of hopelessness and despair. His very will to live = was rapidly eroding. "I got weaker day by day. I was broken = nervously and physically, filled with despair, unable to see even a ray of hope. I = had nothing to live for. I felt I hadn't a friend left in the world, = that even my family had turned against me."

 

Alarmed by his = rapidly deteriorating condition, Dr. Eggleston gave Penney a sedative. The = effect quickly wore off, and Penney awakened with the conviction that he = was living the last night of his life. "Getting out of bed, I wrote farewell letters to my wife and son, saying that I did not expect to = live to see the dawn."

 

However, Penney awoke = the next morning surprised to find he was alive. Making his way down the = hallway of the hospital, he could hear singing coming from the little chapel = where devotional exercises were held each morning. The words of the hymn = being sung spoke deeply to his condition. Penney entered the chapel and = listened with a weary heart to the singing, the reading of the Scripture = lesson, and the prayer.

 

"Suddenly = something happened," he recalled. "I can't explain it. I can only = call it a miracle. I felt as if I had been instantly lifted out of the = darkness of a dungeon into a warm, brilliant sunlight. I felt as if I had been transported from hell to paradise. I felt the power of God as I had = never felt it before."

 

In a = life-transforming instant, Penney knew that God was there to help. "From that day = to this, my life has been free from worry," he declared. "The = most dramatic and glorious 20 minutes of my life were those I spent in = that chapel that morning."

 

The hymn which spoke = so eloquently and miraculously to J.C. Penney - God Will Take Care of = You.

 

The hymn God used to = save Penney's life was written by Civilla Durfee Martin. Not much is = known about the hymn writer. She lived from 1866 to 1948, writing the hymn in = 1904. The inspiration for the words may have come from 1 Peter 5:7: = "Casting all your care upon Him, because He cares about = you."

 

The first stanza and = refrain read:

Be not dismayed = whate'er betide,

God will take care of = you;

Beneath His wings of = love abide,

God will take care of = you.

God will take care of = you,

Through ev'ry day, = o'er all the way;

He will take care of = you,

God will take care of = you.

 

Victor M. Parachin is = a writer from Tulsa, = Okla. He has written for numerous = publications.

back = to top

Thought of the = Week

 

No man should =
have to die = alone.

 

Rob = Feeney

back = to top

All You Need is = Love

It Takes = One to Tango

 

Many people believe = that a good relationship requires equal effort from both husband and wife. = And so, if your spouse is unwilling to change or invest more in the marriage = then the relationship is doomed to lack-lustre intimacy, or even steady deterioration.

 

While it is certainly = the ideal to have both spouses fully invested and contributing to the = marriage, it is not necessary to make a positive and substantial improvement. = You can make a difference on your own. How does this work? On this simple = principle: if one person changes, they change the dynamic of the relationship = and this spontaneously leads the other person to change = too.

 

Actually, everybody = knows this principle. We just don't access its power to make positive change. = How does this work? Let's say your spouse comes home in a really good mood = and is being loving and attentive towards you, but you respond by = criticising, ignoring or bringing up a touchy subject. We all know how easy it is = to kill the positive mood of the other. In fact, this happens all too = often; we start out well, but then one of us strikes a small but fatal blow = and all of sudden, the good will and positive vibes vanish. In a flash = that tentative warm romantic atmosphere turns into an icy wind. One = person can most definitely influence the relationship and do so very = effectively!

 

Equally so, this = principle applies in the positive as well. When your spouse is narky or = withdrawn, don't react with your typical comeback. Nagging, criticising or = shutting down yourself only perpetuates the cycle of moodiness and diminishes = your intimacy. Rather try responding with a more loving gesture. Think = about what would help your narky or withdrawn spouse feel loved and do = that instead. Perhaps a sympathetic 'I can see you've had a bad day; is = there anything I can do to help'? or 'You look like you need some time to yourself right now; why don't you take some time out and I'll handle = things here'?

 

Maybe your spouse = needs to hear your affirmation and appreciation. Maybe no words are = necessary, just silent companionship while you each read the paper or watch a TV = show.

 

Whatever way you = choose to respond in love, be assured: you can change your marriage for the = better with the simple act of changing yourself. All change starts from = within. So before we say 'why must I change first', remind yourself: the only = person holding you back from changing is = yourself!

 

August 2007 © = 2007 Celebrate Love Australia. Authors: Francine & Byron Pirola

 

To subscribe to Smart = Loving E-newssheet go to:

http://www.= celebratelove.com.au/html/sl_archive.html

back = to top

News & = Info

 = ;

 

 

 

 

 

 

  

 <= /p>

The = Wild at Heart Boot = Camp is = booked = out!

__________________________= __________________________

 

Good to = Great Fatherhood Mentoring = Course

Graduation - = Wednesday 28th November 2007

Twenty-five men = graduated last Wednesday from Good to Great.

Awards were presented = by Mayor of Randwick, Bruce Notley-Smith and Mark Sewell, CEO Warrigal Care. = Below are some comments expressed by the = graduates:

 

'I know that it has = helped focus a lot of what I attempt to do with my family and enabled me to = engage with them in an even greater way.'

 

'I liked everything. = It helped with my whole life, wife, kids and = family.'

 

'Excellent diverse = speakers and valuable homework.'

 

'I was able to share = ideas with other fathers on the subject of = fathering.'

 

2008 dates for Good = to Great will be released early next year.

__________________________= _________________________

 

Suicide = Workshop

An = Opportunity For You To Embrace!

 

LifeForce is = presenting you with the opportunity to receive a day of our esteemed training in = Suicide Prevention free of charge.

Please find attached = a flier providing you with the details of the workshop to be presented at = Corrimal on the 5th December 2007

The workshop is = designed for all community members to help them support their colleagues, = families and friends. This program not only provides education on what to do in = the crisis of suicide but also how to intervene on a daily basis. =

We look forward to = welcoming you to the training session.

 <= /p>

If interested please = call ASAP

Sureka Schmidt =

Program = Administrator

Lifeforce Suicide = Prevention Program 

Direct: 02 9804 = 5223

__________________________= ___________________________

STRENGTHEN= ING FAMILIES CAMPAIGN

 

What Happens When = Children Are Denied Equal Shared Parenting

Psychological and = Health Problems

 <= /p>

- Greater Behavioural Problems. Single parent children are 3 to 4 times more likely to = have emotional or behavioural problems.

- Greater = Psychological Problems. 84% of teenagers hospitalised for psychiatric care come = from single parent homes

- Higher Suicide = Rate. 75% of teenagers who commit suicide are from single parent homes. =

- More Drug Abuse. = Children from father-absent homes are:

twice as likely to = use drugs (including alcohol), and

4.3 times more likely = to smoke.

- Greater Frequency = of Sleep Disorders.  Single parent children have more trouble falling = asleep, more nightmares, and night terrors.

- More Persistent = Feelings Of Betrayal, Rejection, Rage, Guilt, Pain.  Father-absent children = experience greater levels of these feelings which last for years with a renewed intensity at adolescence.

- Lower = Self-Esteem.  Children from single parent households suffer from lower self esteem - = especially girls.

In whose interest is = it, for the current situation to continue?

traks@tpg.com.au =

__________________________= ____________________________

 

Weddings trend is costly

http://www.news.com.au/business/money/story/0,2= 5479,22847415-5014088,00.html<= /p>

 ____________________= _________________________________

Letters

 

Dear Fatherhood = Foundation

 

Just wanted to let = you know about a bit of a journey that I have been having.  I went = on-line to see if I could find out how to do a 13th birthday party for my son.  = As the search went on I eventually ended up with the words, 'rite of = passage'.  I am not sure if that is how I found Neil Porter's article or not.  I = then contacted you and Mr. Porter responded with a helpful email, but said that he = was right in the middle of a move.  Going forth with prayer, = knowing God would lead me, I opened a drawer of books that have been given to my = husband that he hasn't gotten to yet.  There was a book by Brian Molitor = about a boy's passage.  I picked it up and flipped through, and was = absolutely floored by God's loving response to my prayer.  It was EXACTLY what I = needed.  We have no idea where the book came from-my husband says that I gave it to = him.  Anyway, I was just back on your website and see that you are = affiliated with him!  We are so exited about having our Rite of Passage = Ceremony and the continuing mentoring of our son.  We are even going to = begin calling him Andrew (manly) after calling him Drew all his life.  Keep = up the good work.

 

Tracy-from = California

back = to top

Dad's = Prayer

 

 

 

Dear God

 

We cannot comprehend your plan.

We do not understand your ways.

Sometimes, as it says in Lamentations,

'You lead us by a way of darkness
and not light!'

and yet

'the light shines through the darkness

and the darkness comprehended it not'.

 

So, as Bob Dylan sang

'Shine your light, shine your light

Shine your light on me,

Cos I just can't make it by myself

I'm a little too blind to see'.

back = to top

Help Us

Click here for more information about us

Help Us!

The Fatherhood Foundation is a Harm Prevention Charity. =
Fatherlessness and inadequate fathering has been proven to be = a source of harm.

The Fatherhood Foundation helps children by promoting excellence  in fathering. Excellent fathers are in word and = deed: responsible, involved, protective, loving and committed to the = well-being of their children and their children's = mother.

If you would like to give financially to the Fatherhood Foundation Public Fund and receive tax = deductibility:

Fatherhood Foundation Public = Fund
(Name, address and amount details must be emailed for a receipt for = tax deductibility)
Westpac Branch Wollongong
BSB: 032 695
A/C: 25-5558

Or mail cheque and address details to:
PO Box 440
WOLLONGONG  NSW  2520
AUSTRALIA

The Fatherhood Foundation Public Fund  is a public = fund listed on the Register of Harm Prevention Charities under = Subdivision 30_EA of the Income Tax Assessment Act 1997.

You have received the fathersonline.org newsletter = because you have subscribed, or you have been subscribed by a friend.  = If you do not wish to receive future emails, please click the UNSUBSCRIBE = button below or send an email to info@fathersonline.org with the word UNSUBSCRIBE in the subject = heading.

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