Received: from beru.its.uow.edu.au ([130.130.68.31]) by anubis.ad.uow.edu.au with Microsoft SMTPSVC(6.0.3790.1830); Sun, 9 Sep 2007 09:41:27 +1000 Received: from febris-nat.its.uow.edu.au ([130.130.68.210] helo=febris.its.uow.edu.au) by beru.its.uow.edu.au with esmtp (Exim 4.63) (envelope-from ) id 1IU9vb-0001JN-0M for blane@uow.edu.au; Sun, 09 Sep 2007 09:41:27 +1000 Received: from servervs1.bosweb.local (eth3951.nsw.adsl.internode.on.net [150.101.126.110]) by febris.its.uow.edu.au (MOS 3.8.5-GA) with ESMTP id FRM63358; Sun, 9 Sep 2007 09:41:25 +1000 (EST) Received: from servervs1 ([127.0.0.1]) by servervs1.bosweb.local with Microsoft SMTPSVC(6.0.3790.3959); Sun, 9 Sep 2007 09:40:55 +1000 Thread-Topic: Happier Children Reply-To: Message-ID: <60A35129BF0A49CCAFB1B3E3E131695E@bosweb.local> thread-index: AcfycbMiMB9VN1HlRPuQLTiaPAqGpg== From: To: Subject: Happier Children Date: Sun, 9 Sep 2007 09:40:55 +1000 MIME-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: multipart/alternative; boundary="----=_NextPart_000_5B1C_01C7F2C5.84D09610" X-Mailer: Microsoft CDO for Windows 2000 Content-Class: urn:content-classes:message Importance: normal Priority: normal X-MimeOLE: Produced By Microsoft MimeOLE V6.00.3790.4073 X-OriginalArrivalTime: 08 Sep 2007 23:40:55.0479 (UTC) FILETIME=[B32F3470:01C7F271] X-Junkmail-Status: score=10/49, host=febris.its.uow.edu.au X-Junkmail-SD-Raw: score=unknown, refid=str=0001.0A090208.46E33326.008F,ss=1,fgs=0, ip=150.101.126.110, so=2007-07-31 18:51:00, dmn=5.4.3/2007-09-06 Return-Path: info@fathersonline.org This is a multi-part message in MIME format. ------=_NextPart_000_5B1C_01C7F2C5.84D09610 Content-Type: text/plain; charset="iso-8859-1" Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit Unable to read this email? Please click here Issue 263 - 3rd September, 2007 Go to our website Here * Hello Brian * Grandads * Laughter * Single Dads * Special Feature * Thought of the Week * All You Need is Love * News & Info * Dad's Prayer * Help Us Hello Brian As fathers and parents in today's topsy-turvy fast-paced world, we often think that we are not important to our children. A recent Associated MTV poll of 13 to 24 year olds asked the question, "What makes you happy?" The answer will surprise (or shock) many of you. The number one response was 'spending time with family'. Next was 'spending time with friends', followed by 'time with a significant other'. http://www.gmanews.tv/print/56803 The weekly email from the National Center for Fathering puts it this way: http://www.fathers.com/content/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id =382 Some other relevant findings: Nearly three-quarters of young people say their relationship with their parents makes them happy. When asked to name their heroes, nearly half of respondents mentioned one or both of their parents-with moms barely edging out dads. And overwhelmingly, young people think marriage would make them happy and want to be married someday. Most also want to have kids. If you have a teenager at home, you may be wondering, 'Whose kids did they poll? My teenager would never give those kinds of answers.' The results are certainly surprising given the tension that exists between many parents and their teenagers. On the other hand, these poll results are indicative of what's typical for teens and young adults. They would never admit it to us or to their friends-they have to keep up appearances of having an attitude or being 'cool.' Part of that is a reluctance to admit any dependence on mom or dad. But if they stop and think for a minute, they really do value our role in their lives and the importance of family. As psychologist Jean Twenge, author of 'Generation Me' and a professor at San Diego State University said, "It's good news to hear young people being realistic about what really makes them happy. Research has shown us that relationships are the single greatest source of happiness." Jean is right because almost nobody in the poll mentioned money as a primary source of happiness. Interestingly enough those young people who used drugs or drank alcohol were significantly unhappier than those who did not. This seems to echo what the greatest man who ever lived said, 'a man's life does not consist in the abundance of his possessions'. So what is our response as fathers? I don't know about you, but I feel guilty. It looks like I will have to spend more time with my children if that is what is going to make them happier. What is going on here? We just assume that we are no longer relevant to them and yet deep down we are very relevant, more that we can possibly imagine. Lovework What can I say? Make your children happier. Spending time with them is a great investment in their happiness and yours. Yours for happier children Warwick Marsh PS We had our first Good to Great session in Sydney last week. Mark Sewell, a board member from the Fatherhood Foundation, spoke to the men about goal setting from a family point of view. He shared his own personal and inspiring journey with those dads who have risen to the challenge of doing the course. It's going to be a great ten week journey and hopefully a new beginning for many families. We will keep you informed and bring you some inspiring stories as the journey unfolds. ___________________________________________________________ Warwick Marsh has been married to Alison for 32 years. He is the father of five children, four boys and one girl, ranging in age from 26 years to 14 years. Warwick is a musician, songwriter, producer and public speaker who likes to think he can still laugh at himself. back to top Grandads Three Types of Grandchildren By Bill Jackaman There are 3 types of grandchildren 1) The ones from well-adjusted parents who bring the kids, or let you visit and you can have an absolutely wonderful time, and Mum and Dad let you have it. . 2) The children from dysfunctional families. They need love so much but don't know how or where to get it. These visits hurt. 3) The children you don't get to see as there are problems with the parents. As much as the visits in (2) hurt, the lack of visits hurts even more. More on the 3 types later. ________________________________ Bill is the father of one child, and stepfather of 4 more. He and is wife Diana are the proud grandparents of 6 grandchildren ranging in age from 9 to 2. Bill is a computer technician with a firm in Melbourne. back to top Laughter Advertisement In City Shop: Guitar, for sale....... Cheap...........no strings attached. Ad.. In Hospital Waiting Room: Smoking Helps You Lose Weight ... One Lung At A Time! Seen on a bulletin board: Success Is Relative. More The Success, More The Relatives. When I Read About The Evils Of Drinking...I Gave Up Reading. My Grandfather Is Eighty And Still Doesn't Need Glasses... He Drinks Straight Out Of The Bottle. You Know Your kids Have Grown Up When: Your Daughter Begins To Put On Lipstick.. Or Your Son Starts To Wipe It Off. Sign In A Bar: "Those Of You Who Are Drinking To Forget, Please Pay In Advance." Sign In Driving School: If Your Wife Wants To Learn To Drive, Don't Stand In Her Way. Behind Every Great Man, There Is A Surprised Woman. The Reason Men Lie Is Because Women Ask So Many Questions. Getting Caught Is The Mother Of Invention. Laugh And The World Laughs With You, Snore And You sleep Alone. The Surest Sign That Intelligent Life Exists Elsewhere In The Universe Is The Fact That It Has Never Tried To Contact Us. Sign At A Barber's Shop in the City: We Need Your Heads To Run Our Business. A Traffic Slogan: Don't Let Your Kids Drive If They are Not Old Enough Or Else They Will Never Be. Sign In A Restaurant: All Drinking Water In This Establishment Has Been Personally Passed By The Manager. Sign On A Famous Beauty Parlor Window: Don't Whistle At The Girls Going Out From Here. She May Be Your Grandmother ! back to top Single Dads 13 August 2007 Herald Sun (Melbourne) Third of dads lack contact One third of separated fathers have little or no contact with their kids. And almost a quarter of Australian children - more than a million kids - have a natural parent who does not live with them, the latest ABS family characteristics snapshot shows. The 2006 census also shows one parent-families - which are overwhelmingly headed by women - now make up 15 per cent of all families. The lack of contact is despite a determined effort on behalf of separated dads to play a more hands-on role. According to the latest Child Support Agency figures, more than 21 per cent of parents applying for child support are now men looking after their kids as primary carer. This is up from just 7.5 per cent a decade ago. But experts have long argued part-time and supporting fathers need more help with their parenting role. In a groundbreaking new program, YMCA Victoria, Relationships Australia, Mensline and the Life Is Foundation is launching DadsLink to help fathers. DadsLink will bring fathers together to receive counselling, attend camps and just hang out. "We know many fathers have an enormously important role to play in their children's lives," YMCA Victoria chief executive Peter Burns said. "But we also know that many more fathers are struggling and wanting to learn more about how they can be a better dad, whatever their circumstances". Relationships Australia spokesman Tony Gee said positive parenting after separation "brings a whole set of challenges". These include managing relationships with spouses and changing relationships with their children, he said. Divorced dad Ross Clennett, 41, of East Bentleigh knows just how hard parenting can be after a relationship breakdown. His children were just two and four when he separated from his former wife Michelle. "It's a pretty difficult process particularly as the kids were so young," he said. He sees his children Nicola, now 6, and Guy, 8, six nights a fortnight. And he has a six-week-old son, James, with new wife Michelle Tickle. "I am a better dad now because I am more involved now than I was before - I was determined to make it work after the separation," he said. "Because I don't have the kids all the time when I do I am very conscious of being with them and doing things with them." back to top Special Feature Ways that Dads can Bond with their Baby By Warwick Shanks We often sell as one of the benefits of breastfeeding the close emotional bond that it helps the mother to form with the baby. Unfortunately this can sometimes have the unintended effect of making the father feel 'left out'. It is important to help the father to understand the many ways he can build a similar bond with the baby. As well as helping the father to not feel left out, this early bonding has huge benefits for society as a whole as when a Dad bonds early with his newborn many of the fathering decisions later in life become simple choices as the Dad sees no other option ? he wants to be involved as much as possible. Some suggestions for the father to 'bond' include: 1) Having skin-to-skin contact such as showering or bathing with the baby. There are many flow on effects from this including: a) Enabling the mother to have her own space for a while b) Baby and Dad sharing time alone, without the Dad feeling observed or judged c) Dad getting used to handling and holding his baby. 2) Wearing the baby in a sling, so that they can feel the heartbeat, smell the Dad, and feel safe and secure. 3) Having one-on-one time together as the baby grows, so that they continue to feel comfortable in each others company and build special memories together. I also strongly encourage Dads to talk about fathering with other Dads. Mums have a range of opportunities to discuss parenting with other Mums. In my experience men do like talking about their children, they just don't like to be the ones who start the conversation. As well as knowing that they are not alone in their experiences, being comfortable to talk to their mates about being a Dad, will also help them to talk about problems or challenges that they face as Dads. I strongly believe that if we can effectively deliver these key messages to fathers before their baby is born, we will see improved breastfeeding rates in mothers as well as considerable benefits to society from having more involved fathers. ______________________________________ Warwick Shanks is an accountant. He is married to Sharon and they have 4 children. They work together in promoting breastfeeding through the Australian Breastfeeding Association. back to top Thought of the Week Everybody today seems to be in a hurry. No one has any time to give to others: children to their parents, parents to their children, spouses to each other . . . World peace begins to break down in the homes. Mother Teresa back to top All You Need is Love From Smart Marriages E-Newsletter http://www.smartmarriages.com/app/Newsletter.Subscribe A woman in my online group was being very negative about her husband and the group leader told her to try to think of some positives, even if it were difficult. This is what she came up with. I thought it was touching. I just wanted you to see it. He was very helpful in the kitchen. He usually got home from work around 3 PM, and he usually made dinner for the family. I don't get home until around 5 PM. He did all the yard work, took care of all car maintenance, always called me if he was going to be late, instilled complete trust, did the lion's share of bill paying because I hate to write due to carpal tunnel syndrome, balanced the cheque book, fixed the toilet when it would break (regularly), painted the outside of the house. He usually remembered to put the toilet seat and lid down. He vacuumed occasionally. He spent lots of time with the kids. He bought advent calendars with chocolate behind each day for the kids every Christmas season. He laughed and joked a lot, and didn't like to be serious. He told me when I looked good. He learned to enjoy horses because our girls and I loved to ride. He was willing to try new dishes I prepared. He loved my lasagne. He went to church with the family every Sunday, even though he had trouble staying awake during preaching. Although he doesn't like classical music, he went to almost every concert our daughters played in when they were in youth symphony (4 years for one and 6 years for the other). He held my hand through 3 labours and deliveries, and whispered in my ear to encourage me. He lovingly dressed an open wound for me after surgery for a breast abscess after the birth of our 3rd. Four years later, he stood beside my bed as I was being wheeled to surgery to remove a breast due to cancer, and tears filled his eyes as they did mine. That was in 1989. He walked the floor for hours at night with a sleepless, cranky child. He spooned cereal and baby food into little mouths, and endured spit-up and baby poop on his clothing. He helped me take care of my mother as she was dying of cancer. Is this what you mean? It was difficult to get started, but look what I accomplished! I also have a huge lump in my throat and tears in my eyes right now. He was a fantastic husband! My sister told me he "adored" me, and I guess that's correct for a lot of the 26 years we have been married. Unknown back to top News & Info National Strategic Summit on Marriage Family & Fatherhood Tuesday 18th September 2007 Parliament House Canberra Spaces are limited! If you interested to attend this important gathering of key leaders from within the Marriage,Family & Fatherhood movement please contact Warwick Marsh on 02 42726677 or email info@fatherhood.org.au RSVP by Wednesday 12 September 2007 The National Strategic Summit on Marriage, Family & Fatherhood will be held at Parliament House, Canberra 9.30am to 6.00pm on Tuesday 18th September 2007. Firstly, the purpose of the National Strategic Summit on Marriage, Family and Fatherhood is to strengthen and support marriages and set a vision for the renewal of marriage in Australia. The National Strategic Summit will be the official launching pad for the release of the 'Marriage Manifesto' which is a call to the nation to value and treasure the relationships that we all hold so dear. Marriage is the foundation for our families and families are the foundation for our nation. The second purpose of the National Strategic Summit is to affirm fatherhood and motherhood and the importance of male and female. To this end we will release a groundbreaking research document called 'The Importance of Male and Female - 21 Reasons Why Gender Matters'. These documents will be a milestone in the progress of the marriage, family, and fatherhood movement. It is also critical for us to develop a true understanding of complimentarity of the genders and their important role in a healthy society. Gender Disorientation Pathology is something that healthy societies must avoid at all costs. As Arnold Toynbee said "civilisations die from suicide not murder". Please email: info@fatherhood.org.au or phone: 02-4272 6677 if you would like to attend this event as space is limited. ____________________________________ Letters Dear Fatherhood Foundation RE: Directions for Dads CD ROM What awesome material for Fathers (and families)! ... and in time for Fathers Day too, which was a real bonus. We talked about the best way of using the CD ROMs, whether as prizes in a Father's Day competition, etc, but finally decided to give them to two dads who in our opinion would be likely to make best use of the CDROMs. Both of them are very keen to be the best fathers they can possibly be. The Good to Great course sounds excellent, and the promo material VERY well done. The DVD especially brought it to life for me, and the Prospectus filled in some of the gaps. A bit too close for our dads to consider for this year, but I presume this will not be the last. When will the dates for 2008 be made known? Owen Editor's Note: Thanks for your response to our free offer. Good to Great Course dates are not in place yet for 2008. We are open to expressions of interest for this ten week course throughout Australia. Our resources are limited, facilitators must be trained, but we believe that interest is going to grow as will the finances to do it all! ___________________________________ Dear Fatherhood Foundation I recently attended a father/son mystery bus trip that encouraged the development of the relationship between father and sons. I have been looking since then for the same idea but with father/daughter items. Up to now, here in Tasmania, I have found no type of such thing. I was wondering if you had any ideas were fathers and daughters could gather together and develop their relationship. Any thing would help. Craig cnewman3@bigpond.net.au back to top Dad's Prayer Dear God It is a very humbling thought that my children are happier when I spend time with them. I just figured that as mine are all grown up they don't need me as much or want me. But it looks like I have been wrong. Help me make them happier by hanging out more with them. It seems to me it's the same as you and I. We enjoy hanging out with each other and as a result we are both happier for it. back to top Help Us Click here for more information about us Help Us! The Fatherhood Foundation is a Harm Prevention Charity. Fatherlessness and inadequate fathering has been proven to be a source of harm. The Fatherhood Foundation helps children by promoting excellence in fathering. Excellent fathers are in word and deed: responsible, involved, protective, loving and committed to the well-being of their children and their children's mother. If you would like to give financially to the Fatherhood Foundation Public Fund and receive tax deductibility: Fatherhood Foundation Public Fund (Name, address and amount details must be emailed for a receipt for tax deductibility) Westpac Branch Wollongong BSB: 032 695 A/C: 25-5558 Or mail cheque and address details to: PO Box 440 WOLLONGONG NSW 2520 AUSTRALIA The Fatherhood Foundation Public Fund is a public fund listed on the Register of Harm Prevention Charities under Subdivision 30_EA of the Income Tax Assessment Act 1997. You have received the fathersonline.org newsletter because you have subscribed, or you have been subscribed by a friend. If you do not wish to receive future emails, please click the UNSUBSCRIBE button below or send an email to info@fathersonline.org with the word UNSUBSCRIBE in the subject heading. back to top Click Here to Unsubscribe ------=_NextPart_000_5B1C_01C7F2C5.84D09610 Content-Type: text/html; charset="iso-8859-1" Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit Fatherhood Foundation
Unable to read this email? Please click here
Issue 263 - 3rd September, 2007 Go to our website Here


Hello Brian

As fathers and parents in today's topsy-turvy fast-paced world, we often think that we are not important to our children.

 

A recent Associated MTV poll of 13 to 24 year olds asked the question, "What makes you happy?"  The answer will surprise (or shock) many of you. The number one response was 'spending time with family'. Next was 'spending time with friends', followed by 'time with a significant other'. http://www.gmanews.tv/print/56803  

 

The weekly email from the National Center for Fathering puts it this way:

http://www.fathers.com/content/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=382  

 

Some other relevant findings:

Nearly three-quarters of young people say their relationship with their parents makes them happy. When asked to name their heroes, nearly half of respondents mentioned one or both of their parents-with moms barely edging out dads. And overwhelmingly, young people think marriage would make them happy and want to be married someday. Most also want to have kids.

 

If you have a teenager at home, you may be wondering, 'Whose kids did they poll? My teenager would never give those kinds of answers.' The results are certainly surprising given the tension that exists between many parents and their teenagers.

 

On the other hand, these poll results are indicative of what's typical for teens and young adults. They would never admit it to us or to their friends-they have to keep up appearances of having an attitude or being 'cool.' Part of that is a reluctance to admit any dependence on mom or dad. But if they stop and think for a minute, they really do value our role in their lives and the importance of family.

 

As psychologist Jean Twenge, author of 'Generation Me' and a professor at San Diego State University said, "It's good news to hear young people being realistic about what really makes them happy. Research has shown us that relationships are the single greatest source of happiness." Jean is right because almost nobody in the poll mentioned money as a primary source of happiness. Interestingly enough those young people who used drugs or drank alcohol were significantly unhappier than those who did not. This seems to echo what the greatest man who ever lived said, 'a man's life does not consist in the abundance of his possessions'.

 

So what is our response as fathers?

 

I don't know about you, but I feel guilty. It looks like I will have to spend more time with my children if that is what is going to make them happier.

 

What is going on here? We just assume that we are no longer relevant to them and yet deep down we are very relevant, more that we can possibly imagine.

 

Lovework

 

What can I say? Make your children happier. Spending time with them is a great investment in their happiness and yours.

 

Yours for happier children

Warwick Marsh

 

PS We had our first Good to Great session in Sydney last week. Mark Sewell, a board member from the Fatherhood Foundation, spoke to the men about goal setting from a family point of view. He shared his own personal and inspiring journey with those dads who have risen to the challenge of doing the course. It's going to be a great ten week journey and hopefully a new beginning for many families.  We will keep you informed and bring you some inspiring stories as the journey unfolds.

 

___________________________________________________________

Warwick Marsh  has been married to Alison for 32 years. He is the father of five children, four boys and one girl, ranging in age from 26 years to 14 years.  Warwick is a musician, songwriter, producer and public speaker who likes to think he can still laugh at himself.

back to top

Grandads

 

Three Types of Grandchildren

By Bill Jackaman

 

There are 3 types of grandchildren

 

1) The ones from well-adjusted parents who bring the kids,

or let you visit and you can have an absolutely wonderful time,

and Mum and Dad let you have it. .

 

2) The children from dysfunctional families.

They need love so much but don't know how or where to get it.

These visits hurt.

 

3) The children you don't get to see as there are problems with the parents. 

As much as the visits in (2) hurt,

the lack of visits hurts even more.

 

More on the 3 types later.

________________________________

 

Bill is the father of one child, and stepfather of 4 more. He and is wife Diana are the proud grandparents of 6 grandchildren ranging in age from 9 to 2. Bill is a computer technician with a firm in Melbourne.

back to top

Laughter

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Advertisement In City Shop:
Guitar, for sale....... Cheap...........no strings attached.

Ad.. In Hospital Waiting Room:
Smoking Helps You Lose Weight ... One Lung At A Time!

Seen on a bulletin board:
Success Is Relative. More The Success, More The Relatives.

When I Read About The Evils Of Drinking...I Gave Up Reading. 


My Grandfather Is Eighty And Still Doesn't Need Glasses...
He Drinks Straight Out Of The Bottle.

You Know Your kids Have Grown Up When:
Your Daughter Begins To Put On Lipstick.. Or Your Son Starts To Wipe It Off.

Sign In A Bar:
"Those Of You Who Are Drinking To Forget, Please Pay In Advance."

Sign In Driving School:
If Your Wife Wants To Learn To Drive, Don't Stand In Her Way.

Behind Every Great Man, There Is A Surprised Woman.

The Reason Men Lie Is Because Women Ask So Many Questions.  

Getting Caught Is The Mother Of Invention.

Laugh And The World Laughs With You, Snore And You sleep Alone.

The Surest Sign That Intelligent Life Exists Elsewhere In The Universe
Is The Fact That It Has Never Tried To Contact Us.

Sign At A Barber's Shop in the City:
We Need Your Heads To Run Our Business.

A Traffic Slogan:
Don't Let Your Kids Drive If They are Not Old Enough Or Else They Will Never Be.

Sign In A Restaurant:
All Drinking Water In This Establishment Has Been Personally Passed By The
Manager.

Sign On A Famous Beauty Parlor Window:
Don't Whistle At The Girls Going Out From Here.
She May Be Your Grandmother !

 

back to top

Single Dads

13 August 2007

Herald Sun (Melbourne)

 

Third of dads lack contact

 

One third of separated fathers have little or no contact with their kids.

 

And almost a quarter of Australian children - more than a million kids - have a natural parent who does not live with them, the latest ABS family characteristics snapshot shows.

 

The 2006 census also shows one parent-families - which are overwhelmingly headed by women - now make up 15 per cent of all families.

 

The lack of contact is despite a determined effort on behalf of separated dads to play a more hands-on role.

 

According to the latest Child Support Agency figures, more than 21 per cent of parents applying for child support are now men looking after their kids as primary carer.

 

This is up from just 7.5 per cent a decade ago.

 

But experts have long argued part-time and supporting fathers need more help with their parenting role.

 

In a groundbreaking new program, YMCA Victoria, Relationships Australia, Mensline and the Life Is Foundation is launching DadsLink to help fathers.

 

DadsLink will bring fathers together to receive counselling, attend camps and just hang out.

 

"We know many fathers have an enormously important role to play in their children's lives," YMCA Victoria chief executive Peter Burns said.

 

"But we also know that many more fathers are struggling and wanting to learn more about how they can be a better dad, whatever their circumstances".

 

Relationships Australia spokesman Tony Gee said positive parenting after separation "brings a whole set of challenges". These include managing relationships with spouses and changing relationships with their children, he said.

 

Divorced dad Ross Clennett, 41, of East Bentleigh knows just how hard parenting can be after a relationship breakdown.

 

His children were just two and four when he separated from his former wife Michelle.

 

"It's a pretty difficult process particularly as the kids were so young," he said.

 

He sees his children Nicola, now 6, and Guy, 8, six nights a fortnight. And he has a six-week-old son, James, with new wife Michelle Tickle.

 

"I am a better dad now because I am more involved now than I was before - I was determined to make it work after the separation," he said.

 

"Because I don't have the kids all the time when I do I am very conscious of being with them and doing things with them." 

back to top

Special Feature

Ways that Dads can Bond with their Baby

By Warwick Shanks

 

We often sell as one of the benefits of breastfeeding the close emotional bond that it helps the mother to form with the baby.  Unfortunately this can sometimes have the unintended effect of making the father feel 'left out'.  It is important to help the father to understand the many ways he can build a similar bond with the baby. 

As well as helping the father to not feel left out, this early bonding has huge benefits for society as a whole as when a Dad bonds early with his newborn many of the fathering decisions later in life become simple choices as the Dad sees no other option ? he wants to be involved as much as possible.

Some suggestions for the father to 'bond' include:

 

1) Having skin-to-skin contact such as showering or bathing with the baby.  There are many flow on effects from this including:

 

a) Enabling the mother to have her own space for a while

b) Baby and Dad sharing time alone, without the Dad feeling observed or judged

c) Dad getting used to handling and holding his baby.

 

2) Wearing the baby in a sling, so that they can feel the heartbeat, smell the Dad, and feel safe and secure.

 

3) Having one-on-one time together as the baby grows, so that they continue to feel comfortable in each others company and build special memories together.

 

I also strongly encourage Dads to talk about fathering with other Dads.  Mums have a range of opportunities to discuss parenting with other Mums.  In my experience men do like talking about their children, they just don't like to be the ones who start the conversation.  As well as knowing that they are not alone in their experiences, being comfortable to talk to their mates about being a Dad, will also help them to talk about problems or challenges that they face as Dads.

I strongly believe that if we can effectively deliver these key messages to fathers before their baby is born, we will see improved breastfeeding rates in mothers as well as considerable benefits to society from having more involved fathers.

______________________________________

 

Warwick Shanks is an accountant. He is married to Sharon and they have 4 children. They work together in promoting breastfeeding through the Australian Breastfeeding Association.

back to top

Thought of the Week

 

  
Everybody today seems to be in a hurry.
No one has any time to give to others:
children to their parents, 
parents to their children, 
spouses to each other . . .
World peace begins to break down in the homes.!

 
Mother Teresa 

back to top

All You Need is Love

 

From Smart Marriages  E-Newsletter

http://www.smartmarriages.com/app/Newsletter.Subscribe  

 

A woman in my online group was being very negative about her husband and the group leader told her to try to think of some positives, even if it were difficult. This is what she came up with. I thought it was touching. I just wanted you to see it.

 

He was very helpful in the kitchen. He usually got home from work around 3 PM, and he usually made dinner for the family. I don't get home until around 5 PM. He did all the yard work, took care of all car maintenance, always called me if he was going to be late, instilled complete trust, did the lion's share of bill paying because I hate to write due to carpal tunnel syndrome, balanced the cheque book, fixed the toilet when it would break (regularly), painted the outside of the house.

 

He usually remembered to put the toilet seat and lid down. He vacuumed occasionally. He spent lots of time with the kids. He bought advent calendars with chocolate behind each day for the kids every Christmas season. He laughed and joked a lot, and didn't like to be serious. He told me when I looked good. He learned to enjoy horses because our girls and I loved to ride.

 

He was willing to try new dishes I prepared. He loved my lasagne. He went to church with the family every Sunday, even though he had trouble staying awake during preaching. Although he doesn't like classical music, he went to almost every concert our daughters played in when they were in youth symphony (4 years for one and 6 years for the other).

 

He held my hand through 3 labours and deliveries, and whispered in my ear to encourage me. He lovingly dressed an open wound for me after surgery for a breast abscess after the birth of our 3rd. Four years later, he stood beside my bed as I was being wheeled to surgery to remove a breast due to cancer, and tears filled his eyes as they did mine. That was in 1989.

 

He walked the floor for hours at night with a sleepless, cranky child. He spooned cereal and baby food into little mouths, and endured spit-up and baby poop on his clothing. He helped me take care of my mother as she was dying of cancer.

 

Is this what you mean? It was difficult to get started, but look what I accomplished! I also have a huge lump in my throat and tears in my eyes right now. He was a fantastic husband! My sister told me he "adored" me, and I guess that's correct for a lot of the 26 years we have been married.

 

Unknown

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News & Info

 

National Strategic Summit on Marriage Family & Fatherhood

Tuesday 18th September 2007

Parliament House Canberra 

 

Spaces are limited!

 

If you interested to attend this important gathering of key leaders from within the Marriage,Family & Fatherhood movement please contact Warwick Marsh on 02 42726677 or email info@fatherhood.org.au

 

RSVP by Wednesday 12 September 2007


The National Strategic Summit on Marriage, Family & Fatherhood will be held at Parliament House, Canberra 9.30am to 6.00pm on Tuesday 18th September 2007.

 

Firstly, the purpose of the National Strategic Summit on Marriage, Family and Fatherhood is to strengthen and support marriages and set a vision for the renewal of marriage in Australia. The National Strategic Summit will be the official launching pad for the release of the 'Marriage Manifesto' which is a call to the nation to value and treasure the relationships that we all hold so dear. Marriage is the foundation for our families and families are the foundation for our nation.

 

The second purpose of the National Strategic Summit is to affirm fatherhood and motherhood and the importance of male and female. To this end we will release a groundbreaking research document called 'The Importance of Male and Female - 21 Reasons Why Gender Matters'.

These documents will be a milestone in the progress of the marriage, family, and fatherhood movement. It is also critical for us to develop a true understanding of complimentarity of the genders and their important role in a healthy society. Gender Disorientation Pathology is something that healthy societies must avoid at all costs. As Arnold Toynbee said "civilisations die from suicide not murder".

 

Please email: info@fatherhood.org.au or phone: 02-4272 6677 if you would like to attend this event as space is limited.

 

____________________________________

 

 Letters

 

Dear Fatherhood Foundation

 

RE: Directions for Dads CD ROM

 

What awesome material for Fathers (and families)!

 ... and in time for Fathers Day too, which was a real bonus.

 

We talked about the best way of using the CD ROMs, whether as prizes in a Father's Day competition, etc, but finally decided to give them to two dads who in our opinion would be likely to make best use of the CDROMs. Both of them are very keen to be the best fathers they can possibly be.

 

The Good to Great course sounds excellent, and the promo material VERY well done.  The DVD especially brought it to life for me, and the Prospectus filled in some of the gaps.  A bit too close for our dads to consider for this year, but I presume this will not be the last.  When will the dates for 2008 be made known?

 

Owen

 

Editor's Note: Thanks for your response to our free offer.

 

Good to Great Course dates are not in place yet for 2008. We are open to expressions of interest for this ten week course throughout Australia. Our resources are limited, facilitators must be trained, but we believe that interest is going to grow as will the finances to do it all!

___________________________________

 

Dear Fatherhood Foundation

 

I recently attended a father/son mystery bus trip that encouraged the development of the relationship between father and sons.  I have been looking since then for the same idea but with father/daughter items.

 

Up to now, here in Tasmania, I have found no type of such thing.  I was wondering if you had any ideas were fathers and daughters could gather together and develop their relationship.

 

Any thing would help.

 

Craig

cnewman3@bigpond.net.au

 

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Dad's Prayer

 

Dear God
 
It is a very humbling thought
that my children are happier 
when I spend time with them.
I just figured that as mine are all grown up
they don't need me as much or want me.
But it looks like I have been wrong.
 
Help me make them happier by hanging out more with them.
It seems to me it's the same as you and I.
We enjoy hanging out with each other 
and as a result we are both happier for it.
 

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Help Us

Click here for more information about us

Help Us!

The Fatherhood Foundation is a Harm Prevention Charity.
Fatherlessness and inadequate fathering has been proven to be a source of harm.

The Fatherhood Foundation helps children by promoting excellence  in fathering. Excellent fathers are in word and deed: responsible, involved, protective, loving and committed to the well-being of their children and their children's mother.

If you would like to give financially to the Fatherhood Foundation Public Fund and receive tax deductibility:

Fatherhood Foundation Public Fund
(Name, address and amount details must be emailed for a receipt for tax deductibility)
Westpac Branch Wollongong
BSB: 032 695
A/C: 25-5558

Or mail cheque and address details to:
PO Box 440
WOLLONGONG  NSW  2520
AUSTRALIA

The Fatherhood Foundation Public Fund  is a public fund listed on the Register of Harm Prevention Charities under Subdivision 30_EA of the Income Tax Assessment Act 1997.

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