Received: from beru.its.uow.edu.au ([130.130.68.31]) by anubis.ad.uow.edu.au with Microsoft SMTPSVC(6.0.3790.1830); Sat, 1 Sep 2007 16:46:15 +1000 Received: from febris-nat.its.uow.edu.au ([130.130.68.210] helo=febris.its.uow.edu.au) by beru.its.uow.edu.au with esmtp (Exim 4.63) (envelope-from ) id 1IRMkK-0000x4-1L for blane@uow.edu.au; Sat, 01 Sep 2007 16:46:16 +1000 Received: from servervs1.bosweb.local (eth3951.nsw.adsl.internode.on.net [150.101.126.110]) by febris.its.uow.edu.au (MOS 3.8.5-GA) with ESMTP id FPU83754; Sat, 1 Sep 2007 16:46:14 +1000 (EST) Received: from servervs1 ([127.0.0.1]) by servervs1.bosweb.local with Microsoft SMTPSVC(6.0.3790.3959); Sat, 1 Sep 2007 16:45:45 +1000 Thread-Topic: Fathers Day-Good News Reply-To: Message-ID: <888B0C9698764FC0BC88387943D77FB4@bosweb.local> thread-index: AcfsY7lXFsaydKsUQxGP7DaeDFOh0A== From: To: Subject: Fathers Day-Good News Date: Sat, 1 Sep 2007 16:45:45 +1000 MIME-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: multipart/alternative; boundary="----=_NextPart_000_70A2_01C7ECB7.8B0C7C10" X-Mailer: Microsoft CDO for Windows 2000 Content-Class: urn:content-classes:message Importance: normal Priority: normal X-MimeOLE: Produced By Microsoft MimeOLE V6.00.3790.4073 X-OriginalArrivalTime: 01 Sep 2007 06:45:45.0967 (UTC) FILETIME=[B964FFF0:01C7EC63] X-Junkmail-Status: score=10/49, host=febris.its.uow.edu.au X-Junkmail-SD-Raw: score=unknown, refid=str=0001.0A090201.46D90AB7.005B,ss=1,fgs=0, ip=150.101.126.110, so=2007-07-31 18:51:00, dmn=5.3.14/2007-05-31 Return-Path: info@fathersonline.org This is a multi-part message in MIME format. ------=_NextPart_000_70A2_01C7ECB7.8B0C7C10 Content-Type: text/plain; charset="iso-8859-1" Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit Unable to read this email? Please click here Issue 263 - 3rd September, 2007 Go to our website Here * Hello Brian * Grandads * Laughter * Single Dads * Special Feature * Thought of the Week * All You Need is Love * News & Info * Dad's Prayer * Help Us Hello Brian 'All in all it seems to go, but you don't know what you got till it's gone', first sung by Joni Mitchell in 1970 could well be the theme song of Sonora Dodd, the founder of Father's Day. Sonora Louise Smart Dodd was sixteen years of age when her mother died in childbirth with her sixth child. Sonora was her mother's only daughter and shared the burden with her father William in the raising of her five younger brothers. Sonora was so inspired by her father's sacrificial love for his children that she held him in great esteem. When she heard a church sermon about the newly recognized Mother's Day, Sonora felt inspired to give fatherhood recognition as well. She approached the Spokane Ministerial Alliance and suggested that her own father's birthday, Sunday 5th June, be the day to honour fathers. The Alliance chose the third Sunday in June instead and the first Father's Day in the world was celebrated on 19 June 1910 in Spokane, USA. Although President Coolidge supported the idea of a national Father's Day, it was not until 1966 that President Lyndon Johnson signed a presidential proclamation declaring the third Sunday of June as Father's Day in the USA. Australia and New Zealand celebrate Father's Day on the first Sunday of September. Seventy-six other countries around the world now celebrate Father's Day. Big things grow from small beginnings! David Blankenhorn, in the groundbreaking book, 'Fatherless America', said that, "Fatherlessness is the most harmful demographic trend of this generation." Ronnie Williams, aboriginal elder, poet, preacher, singer and storyteller from WA who passed away in 2004 said, "Why is it that white Australians greet each other as 'you old bastard'? Is it because they still suffer the rejection from their forbears in England as transported convicts and still carry the fatherhood wound deep in their sunburnt soul?" Almost 1:4 Australian children live in a home tonight without their biological father present in the home. In a survey a few years ago, the greatest fear young children had about growing up was not the atomic bomb, but that their mother and father were going to break up. Perhaps Dr Warren Farrell summed it all up in his brilliant book, 'Women Can't Hear What Men Don't Say', published in 2001. 'Father's issues will be to the early twenty-first century what women's issues were to the late twentieth century. For the first time in history, the sexes have an opportunity to redefine love, to create not a women's movement blaming men, or a men's movement blaming women, but a gender transition movement. In the past, we have been challenged by a paradox: political movements have been led mostly by unhealthy people, but few healthy changes have occurred without political movements. In the future, we are challenged with the possibility of a movement producing healthy changes being led by mostly healthy people. This will happen only if men do their homework, study their internal worlds, have the courage to take their perspectives to the external world, and invite women to join them. Men can't say what men don't know, and women can't hear what men don't say.' It has been interesting to watch the changes in attitude to men and fathers in Australia over the last seven years. Fathers were seen as optional extras by academics, politicians and most media commentators when Warren Farrell made his bold prediction. Father's Day 2007 is showing Mr Farrell to be a modern day prophet with an uncanny sense of timing. Hollywood is releasing movies with strong positive fatherhood themes at an incredible rate of knots. 'I am Sam' starring Sean Penn, 'Evelyn' with Pierce Brosnan, 'Life is a House', 'Finding Nemo', Dear Frankie', 'Pursuit of Happyness' and the brilliant Aussie movie starring Eric Bana, 'Romulus My Father'. The music world is doing much the same. Our poets and celluloid storytellers, the high priests of our modern culture, are tending to the father wound of our broken society. The sacrifice of Sonora Dodd's father in giving himself up for the purpose of raising his six children in the aftermath of the civil war was indeed a noble act. It is an act that every good father performs in one way or another when he puts his family first on a daily basis. This Father's Day, and for many to come, the words of Andre Dworkin will have a hollow ring to them because more Australian men are following in the footsteps of Sonora Dodd's father than ever before and putting their family first. The 'we' is becoming more important than the 'I'. Men are studying their internal worlds. Men are inviting women to join them in their struggle for true gender reconciliation. For the first time in history the sexes have an opportunity to redefine love. After all, the greatest thing a man can do for his children is to love his children's mother. Indeed, for our culture to prosper and succeed, we need fathers who are responsible, committed, loving and involved in the lives of their children. Our children know this, our women know this, and their voices are finally being heard by the media, academia and government of our land. The restoration of fatherhood in Australia is good news for all of us. Lovework It's not often we as fathers get a day to ourselves. Let's enjoy it! Make hay while the sun shines. Thank God for Sonora Dodd. Yours for more good news Warwick Marsh PS This article is derived from a longer article available on our website '29 August 2007 Media Release Restoration of Fatherhood': http://www.fatherhood.org.au/newsMedia.html Apologies for the delay last week in the distribution of our newsletter. Another glitch in the 'bosweb' system beyond our control. We do apologise for any inconvenience caused. These are the last days to register for the Sydney Good to Great course to be held in Randwick. If you know of any interested fathers in the Sydney region please forward this email to them. Have a great week and a great Father's Day! ___________________________________________________________ Warwick Marsh has been married to Alison for 32 years. He is the father of five children, four boys and one girl, ranging in age from 26 years to 14 years. Warwick is a musician, songwriter, producer and public speaker who likes to think he can still laugh at himself. back to top Grandads In response to our own request for comments on Grandads. Here's a piece from the archives: Issue No. 56 - 22nd September, 2003 The Backstops By Ron Hellyer The individualistic nature of man: proud, assertive, independent, capable, supportive, strong and loving. Whilst there are many more characteristics and men are individuals, a common thread weaves through all Australian fathers - fathers who by choice become fathers and by accident became fathers. This thread is RESPONSIBILITY. Responsibility as: o A provider o Teacher o Lover o Advisor o Watchman o Encourager o Driver, motivator o Spiritual leader Does every father accept these responsibilities? Many do, some do not, and some do not even know what they are and how to develop their responsibility skills. Where do these skills come from? In most cases, from our fathers and grandfathers, if not, from role models and societal expectations. I learnt so much from my father, particularly in managing money. His father was an alcoholic who died in his early fifties, so Dad developed his responsibilities through experience and sharing with his mates. Later, when he became a grandfather he continued his responsibilities in a new form. I took over the direct responsibilities of fatherhood and he became the backstop. He was someone I could bounce things off, ask his opinion, confer with and generally 'chew the fat'. With my children, he became the 'fun in life' figure, playing games, telling jokes and stories, engendering memories in my children's lives, teaching skills and helping to reinforce my role as a father. Grandfathers are so important to the responsibilities of fatherhood. They can support a struggling father and continue to inject life into a family at the same time. In a society failing to keep the family together, the role of Grandfathers (and grandmothers) is greatly downplayed. If you retired or are reaching retirement and haven't got a family nearby to support consider becoming an 'adoptive grandfather'. It?s not hard to find some young father struggling in life. But there has to be a breakthrough in the mentality 'I can do it myself' to 'I can do this with help'? Australian society needs the resurrection of the family. Grandfathers and all they can offer are a vital component of the future fatherhood of Australia. ____________________________________________________ Ron Hellyer has been married to Margaret for 28 years and is the father of five children (plus extras). Ron is management consultant based in Broken Hill, outback NSW. back to top Laughter Your Yearly Test It's that time of year to take our annual Dementia Test, to see how the grey matter is shaping up. Exercise of the brain is as important as exercise of the muscles. As we grow older, it's important to keep mentally alert. If you don't use it, you lose it! Below is a very private way to gauge your loss or non-loss of intelligence. Take the test presented here to determine if you're losing it or not. The spaces below are so you don't see the answers until you've made your answer. OK, relax, clear your mind and begin. 1. What do you put in a toaster? Answer: "bread." If you said "toast," give up now and do something else. Try not to hurt yourself. If you said, bread, go to Question 2. 2. Say "silk" five times. Now spell "silk." What do cows drink? Answer: Cows drink water. If you said "milk," don't attempt the next question. Your brain is over-stressed and may even overheat. Content yourself with reading a more appropriate literature such as Auto World. However, if you said "water", proceed to question 3. 3. If a red house is made from red bricks and a blue house is made from blue bricks and a pink house is made from pink bricks and a black house is made from black bricks, what is a green house made from? Answer: Greenhouses are made from glass. If you said "green bricks," why are you still reading these??? If you said "glass," go on to Question 4. 4. It's twenty years ago, and a plane is flying at 20,000 feet over Germany (If you will recall, Germany at the time was politically divided into West Germany and East Germany.) Anyway, during the flight, two engines fail. the pilot, realizing that the last remaining engine is also failing, decides on a crash landing procedure. Unfortunately the engine fails before he can do so and the plane fatally crashes smack in the middle of "no man's land" between East Germany and West Germany. Where would you bury the survivors? East Germany, West Germany, or no man's' land"? Answer: You don't bury survivors. If you said ANYTHING else, you're a dunce and you must stop. If you said, "You don't bury survivors", proceed to the next question. 5. Without using a calculator - You are driving a bus from London to Milford Haven in Wales. In London, 17 people get on the bus. In Reading, six people get off the bus and nine people get on. In Swindon, two people get off and four get on. In Cardiff, 11 people get off and 16 people get on. In Swansea, three people get off and five people get on. In Carmathen, six people get off and three get on. You then arrive at Milford Haven. What was the name of the bus driver? Answer: Oh, for crying out loud! Don't you remember your own name? It was YOU!! Now pass this along to all your friends and pray they do better than you. PS: just for your comfort 95% of people fail most of the questions!! back to top Single Dads To: The Single Fathers who have their children with them for Father's Day - we hope you enjoy it! Please spend as much time as you can with them considering your circumstances. To: The Single Fathers who unfortunately do not have access to their children on Father's Day. We know it is hard, but we want you to know that we at the Lone Fathers are fighting a battle on an ongoing basis for a 'rebuttable presumption of shared care' and we will never give up until this is achieved. We also want better laws on access arrangements to ensure that mothers and fathers do not prevent children having opportunities to access either parent, Father's Day being a prime example. We wish all dads a Happy Father's Day. Please don't stress if you cannot see your children. Give us a call or catch up with some friends or family members instead. Together we can make a difference. Kind regards Lone Fathers Association Australia www.lonefathers.com.au Barry Williams president@lonefathers.com.au 02 6239 4650 back to top Special Feature DADS DO MAKE A DIFFERENCE By Ilsa Cunningham 29 August 07, Illawarra Mercury Fatherhood is a learning process but taking an active role in the upbringing of their children can create a lasting bond. Warwick Marsh knows first-hand how painful it is to grow up without the constant love and support of both parents. Raised with long absences from both his mum and dad, Marsh decided no child of his was going to grow up in a similar environment. Instead the Berkeley man made a conscious effort to bond with his five children as early as possible. He achieved that through music: he formed a band with his wife Alison and five children and has travelled around the world playing in villages, churches and at concerts. They write their own music, and perform anything from rock to jazz, blues, rap and reggae. "Music was a great way to bond with the kids," Marsh says. "I don't particularly like rap, but Jonathan does so I've had to listen to it and now I can appreciate a good rap song" He also introduced a weekly family night, where they'd play games and enjoy each other's company. Marsh's commitment to fatherhood didn't stop there. Determined to spread the word about the importance of fathers in a child's upbringing, he established the Fatherhood Foundation in 2002. Offering support to fathers, the web-based organization has spread around Australia. "It's very tough on kids these days when 25 per cent of them grow up without their biological dad in the home," Marsh says. "Fatherlessness is associated with all sorts of problems like poverty, and children getting involved in drugs, sex crimes, mental problems, suicide and doing worse at school." He says the key to gaining the trust of your children is to bond with them early. Although it may seem difficult to find the time when working long hours, there are simple ways to spend valuable time with your child. When you have dinner, sit down together around the table and turn off the television. It's great for developing interpersonal skills, and is a good time to catch up on the day's events, particularly if people are in and out at different hours, he says. Look for opportunities to spend time with your children, like going shopping together, or helping them with their homework. Adopt a family hobby, do chores together, and don't be afraid to make mistakes. Fatherhood is all a learning process and no-one gets it right the first time, Marsh says. Sacha Molitorisz knows the pressures of being a father for the first time. The Sydney journalist and author of 'From Here to Paternity', says it took time to form a bond with his daughter Edie, who is almost two years old. "At times I had thoughts about missing the life I had, and it was exhausting and put a strain on the relationship," he says. "But when she was about one year old, there was a real turning point, and I started going, 'this is great.' She'd started walking and was not so dependent and became more playful, fun and engaging." Often fathers worry when they don't bond with their child immediately, but it will happen, Molitorisz says. If you do as much as you can each day, like bathing the baby, changing nappies and dressing the child, this can help create a bond, It can also take some pressure off the mother and give her much-needed time to rest. But it's not only the new mum who feels the pressure of a new baby, Molitorisz says. Post-natal depression in men is not commonly discussed and most people don't even know it exists, but it is relatively common. Dads might feel embarrassed to talk about it or seek help, but it's very important that treatment is sought. "Having a kid is such a tremendous change - your life is no long what it was afterwards," Molitorisz says. "It can take a major adjustment if you're mourning the life you had," he says. "All the things you were used to doing like partying and hanging out with your mates is gone and you can get into the frame of mind that it's gone altogether, which it isn't. It's important to focus on the positives." Although fatherhood is tough, it's a challenge worth experiencing. "I love it now and wouldn't change it for the world," he says. back to top Thought of the Week When I was a boy of 14 my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years. Mark Twain back to top All You Need is Love In Honour of Fathers Be Sure to Set the Bar High Sunday, June 17, 2007 Shanna Flowers I interrupt this Father's Day column to salute healthy and happy marriages. Why? Because strong men make strong marriages, and strong marriages make strong families. And strong families make strong communities. I'm not diminishing the contributions of singles, because I'm one. But when I look to the larger community and its future, it is personified in children. As a society, we've tried to diminish the role of dad in the well-being of families and children, to deem him irrelevant or unimportant. Tragically, too many men have gladly embraced that ill-conceived notion. Nationally, one-third of all children are being raised in single-parent families; that percentage is double for black children. Most of them are headed by women. Today, on Father's Day, set the bar high. All of us can see the devastating consequences of setting it low. Children are more likely to flourish in a household with a happily married couple. That's why the work of people such as Thomas and Towanda Penn and Samuel and Gail Thompson is so vital to our community. These couples, with more than six decades of marriage between them, are on the front lines of trying to enhance family and marriage. Five years ago they established a biblically based marriage enhancement group called FLAME -- Family Life and Marriage Enrichment. 'What makes a healthy and happy marriage'? The ability to communicate and resolve conflicts is key, Towanda Penn said. "If you can learn those things -- it's so many things involved in those -- you can work out anything." These seminars expose couples -- particularly men -- to what healthy relationships are all about. "A whole lot of men don't know what their roles are," said Samuel Thompson, an analyst with the state Department of Rehabilitative Services. "We know cars, computers, but we don't know relationships. "If you have fathers in position of leadership, gangs wouldn't exist," Thompson said. Penn added, "The salvation of the family is in the men coming home." Happy Father's Day, with a special nod to the ones handling their business as husbands at home. back to top News & Info LAST CHANCE TO REGISTER 'Good to Great' Fatherhood Mentoring Course 5th September 2007 The Fatherhood Foundation is excited to announce that the ten week 'Good to Great Fatherhood Mentoring Course' will commence in Sydney on 5th September 2007, three days after Father's Day. This is the first time that this course has been readily available to Sydney dads. Fortunately there are still a few places available for those brave fathers who are up for the challenge. Founder Warwick Marsh says, "The biggest challenge for fathers in Australia is to become the change we seek. Our children need our love. Children spell love T-I-M-E and 'Good to Great' is all about helping fathers create time for their children and lead by example. We invite dads who are interested in enrolling for the Good to Great Mentoring Course in Sydney, commencing 5th September 2007, to contact the Sydney campus at GracePoint Christian Church, 8-10 Soudan St, Randwick 02 9399 5959. This is also the location of the course. A free introductory DVD and course prospectus is available. For further details please contact the Fatherhood Foundation. 02 4272 6677 or info@fatherhood.org.au Enrolments for Sydney are filling fast and we encourage you to apply now to avoid disappointment." Warwick Marsh 0418 225 212 Good to Great 5th September - 28th November 07 Fatherhood Foundation 02 4272 6677 Wednesday evenings 7pm - 9.30 pm Cost - $250 includes workbooks, manual and resource materials info@fatherhood.org.au www.fatherhood.org.au ____________________ National Strategic Summit on Marriage Family & Fatherhood Tuesday 18th September 2007 Parliament House Canberra Spaces are limited! If you interested to attend this important gathering of key leaders from within the Marriage,Family & Fatherhood movement please contact Warwick Marsh on 02 42726677 or email info@fatherhood.org.au RSVP by Wednesday 12 September 2007 Firstly, the purpose of the National Strategic Summit on Marriage, Family and Fatherhood is to strengthen and support marriages and set a vision for the renewal of marriage in Australia. The National Strategic Summit will be the official launching pad for the release of the 'Marriage Manifesto' which is a call to the nation to value and treasure the relationships that we all hold so dear. Marriage is the foundation for our families and families are the foundation for our nation. The second purpose of the National Strategic Summit is to affirm fatherhood and motherhood and the importance of male and female. To this end we will release a groundbreaking research document called 'The Importance of Male and Female - 21 Reasons Why Gender Matters'. These documents will be a milestone in the progress of the marriage, family, and fatherhood movement. It is also critical for us to develop a true understanding of complimentarity of the genders and their important role in a healthy society. Gender Disorientation Pathology is something that healthy societies must avoid at all costs. As Arnold Toynbee said "civilisations die from suicide not murder". The National Strategic Summit is also your chance to connect with parliamentarians and decision makers in the lead up to the federal election that is to be held later in the year. Key speakers will be addressing important topics on family, fatherhood, motherhood and the vital role gender plays in healthy families and healthy individuals. Speakers and panellists that have been invited to contribute at the National Strategic Summit include Neil & Jane Rookes from the National Marriage Coalition, Byron & Francine Pirola from Celebrate Love, Mary Louise Fowler from the Australian Family Association, Chris Meney from the Marriage and Family Office, Babette Francis from the Endeavour Forum, Jack Sonneman from Federation for the Family, James Adams from Fathers in Families, Attorney General Hon Philip Ruddock, Shadow Attorney General Senator Joe Ludwig (TBC), Bill Muehlenberg from CultureWatch, and Peter& Jenny Stokes from Saltshakers (TBC), Ron Brookman from Living Waters, Richard Egan from Festival of Light and several others. It might be noted that all of these speakers are presenting freely and at their own cost as a service to the families and the nation of Australia. Please email: info@fatherhood.org.au or phone: 02-4272 6677 if you would like to attend this event as space is limited. ___________________________________ Letters I read with interest your summary of the Simpson's movie and the father figure represented by good ol' Homer. I haven't seen the movie but am familiar with Homer's deficiencies. I totally agree that modern men are portrayed as morons, sports junkies, sexually and socially inept, etc. Characters like Al Bundy, Ray Romano, etc. really sum up how the modern western world sees us. I was in the mood for an action flick last night and decided to rent out '300'. While the movie had more blood, gore and violence than Passion of the Christ (hmm), I was really inspired by the fatherly role model that Spartan warriors were for their sons, as well as the strong bond of love and passion between the warrior and his wife. While the life of a Spartan was quite brutal; the warrior's fierce love for his city and his family brought in a sense of humanity and purpose into his existence. The warrior's pride in his sons, and his willingness to outwardly show it, would be the greatest source of inspiration and self confidence these boys could ever have received. The spartan's extraordinary courage and his willingness to lay down his life for his beloved city & family is a truly inspirational role model, which actually has many parallels to the life of Christ. If you can get past the gore and fantasy element of the movie (in the line of Lord of the Rings), I'm sure you may find it quite inspiring'. The chord that this movie struck with my inner man makes me think that the core values of a Spartan warrior are something that a man truly aspires to have, but we seem to have this desire humiliated, ridiculed and beaten out of us by this effeminate, politically correct society. I even believe our women would truly appreciate their man living by these core values, which would no doubt strike a few chords in them with regards to a female's basic inner desire to be protected by her man, to the point of him laying down his life for her without a hint of hesitation. This may explain why so many women are drawn to the rough and tough sort, like fighters, footballers, etc. I would love to know what your views are on this movie, or some of the other readers. Hope to hear from you soon. Regards Alex Alex.Cavicchi@irwinconsult.com.au _________________________________ Dear Fatherhood Foundation Yesterday my aunt and I were visiting a church in Lincoln, Illinois and they had posters placed in many places throughout their building and school titled "One Hundred Ways to Praise A Child". Also on their poster was your organization's name and e-mail address. Thus, this request. This is a fantastic poster and we were wondering how we can get a copy of this. I've searched your web site but cannot find where I can find it to print it off. Thank you so much! Myra Lo Editors Note: Great to hear that our resources are being used so extensively. Like to get some ideas of words to use to encourage your child? Print off the poster, 'One Hundred Ways to Praise a Child' at: http://www.fatherhood.org.au/greatDads_tipsResources.html back to top Dad's Prayer Dear Father God Help me to be what my children expect me to be, which is what I know you to be. That would be a miracle. Miracles do happen But the impossible takes a bit longer. HAPPY FATHER'S DAY!! back to top Help Us Click here for more information about us Help Us! The Fatherhood Foundation is a Harm Prevention Charity. Fatherlessness and inadequate fathering has been proven to be a source of harm. The Fatherhood Foundation helps children by promoting excellence in fathering. Excellent fathers are in word and deed: responsible, involved, protective, loving and committed to the well-being of their children and their children's mother. If you would like to give financially to the Fatherhood Foundation Public Fund and receive tax deductibility: Fatherhood Foundation Public Fund (Name, address and amount details must be emailed for a receipt for tax deductibility) Westpac Branch Wollongong BSB: 032 695 A/C: 25-5558 Or mail cheque and address details to: PO Box 440 WOLLONGONG NSW 2520 AUSTRALIA The Fatherhood Foundation Public Fund is a public fund listed on the Register of Harm Prevention Charities under Subdivision 30_EA of the Income Tax Assessment Act 1997. You have received the fathersonline.org newsletter because you have subscribed, or you have been subscribed by a friend. If you do not wish to receive future emails, please click the UNSUBSCRIBE button below or send an email to info@fathersonline.org with the word UNSUBSCRIBE in the subject heading. back to top Click Here to Unsubscribe ------=_NextPart_000_70A2_01C7ECB7.8B0C7C10 Content-Type: text/html; charset="iso-8859-1" Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit Fatherhood Foundation
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Issue 263 - 3rd September, 2007 Go to our website Here


Hello Brian

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

'All in all it seems to go, but you don't know what you got till it's gone', first sung by Joni Mitchell in 1970 could well be the theme song of Sonora Dodd, the founder of Father's Day.

 

Sonora Louise Smart Dodd was sixteen years of age when her mother died in childbirth with her sixth child. Sonora was her mother's only daughter and shared the burden with her father William in the raising of her five younger brothers. Sonora was so inspired by her father's sacrificial love for his children that she held him in great esteem.

 

When she heard a church sermon about the newly recognized Mother's Day, Sonora felt inspired to give fatherhood recognition as well. She approached the Spokane Ministerial Alliance and suggested that her own father's birthday, Sunday 5th June, be the day to honour fathers. The Alliance chose the third Sunday in June instead and the first Father's Day in the world was celebrated on 19 June 1910 in Spokane, USA. Although President Coolidge supported the idea of a national Father's Day, it was not until 1966 that President Lyndon Johnson signed a presidential proclamation declaring the third Sunday of June as Father's Day in the USA. Australia and New Zealand celebrate Father's Day on the first Sunday of September. Seventy-six other countries around the world now celebrate Father's Day. Big things grow from small beginnings!

 

David Blankenhorn, in the groundbreaking book, 'Fatherless America', said that, "Fatherlessness is the most harmful demographic trend of this generation." Ronnie Williams, aboriginal elder, poet, preacher, singer and storyteller from WA who passed away in 2004 said, "Why is it that white Australians greet each other as 'you old bastard'? Is it because they still suffer the rejection from their forbears in England as transported convicts and still carry the fatherhood wound deep in their sunburnt soul?"

 

Almost 1:4 Australian children live in a home tonight without their biological father present in the home. In a survey a few years ago, the greatest fear young children had about growing up was not the atomic bomb, but that their mother and father were going to break up.

 

Perhaps Dr Warren Farrell summed it all up in his brilliant book, 'Women Can't Hear What Men Don't Say', published in 2001.

 

'Father's issues will be to the early twenty-first century what women's issues were to the late twentieth century.

 

For the first time in history, the sexes have an opportunity to redefine love, to create not a women's movement blaming men, or a men's movement blaming women, but a gender transition movement.

 

In the past, we have been challenged by a paradox: political movements have been led mostly by unhealthy people, but few healthy changes have occurred without political movements.

 

In the future, we are challenged with the possibility of a movement producing healthy changes being led by mostly healthy people. This will happen only if men do their homework, study their internal worlds, have the courage to take their perspectives to the external world, and invite women to join them. Men can't say what men don't know, and women can't hear what men don't say.'

 

It has been interesting to watch the changes in attitude to men and fathers in Australia over the last seven years. Fathers were seen as optional extras by academics, politicians and most media commentators when Warren Farrell made his bold prediction.

 

Father's Day 2007 is showing Mr Farrell to be a modern day prophet with an uncanny sense of timing.  Hollywood is releasing movies with strong positive fatherhood themes at an incredible rate of knots. 'I am Sam' starring Sean Penn, 'Evelyn' with Pierce Brosnan, 'Life is a House', 'Finding Nemo', Dear Frankie', 'Pursuit of Happyness' and the brilliant Aussie movie starring Eric Bana, 'Romulus My Father'. The music world is doing much the same. Our poets and celluloid storytellers, the high priests of our modern culture, are tending to the father wound of our broken society.

 

The sacrifice of Sonora Dodd's father in giving himself up for the purpose of raising his six children in the aftermath of the civil war was indeed a noble act. It is an act that every good father performs in one way or another when he puts his family first on a daily basis. This Father's Day, and for many to come, the words of Andre Dworkin will have a hollow ring to them because more Australian men are following in the footsteps of Sonora Dodd's father than ever before and putting their family first. The 'we' is becoming more important than the 'I'.  Men are studying their internal worlds. Men are inviting women to join them in their struggle for true gender reconciliation. For the first time in history the sexes have an opportunity to redefine love. After all, the greatest thing a man can do for his children is to love his children's! mother. Indeed, for our culture to prosper and succeed, we need fathers who are responsible, committed, loving and involved in the lives of their children.

 

Our children know this, our women know this, and their voices are finally being heard by the media, academia and government of our land. The restoration of fatherhood in Australia is good news for all of us.

 

Lovework

 

It's not often we as fathers get a day to ourselves. Let's enjoy it! Make hay while the sun shines. Thank God for Sonora Dodd.

 

Yours for more good news

Warwick Marsh

 

PS This article is derived from a longer article available on our website '29 August 2007 Media Release Restoration of Fatherhood': http://www.fatherhood.org.au/newsMedia.html

 

Apologies for the delay last week in the distribution of our newsletter. Another glitch in the 'bosweb' system beyond our control. We do apologise for any inconvenience caused.

 

These are the last days to register for the Sydney Good to Great course to be held in Randwick. If you know of any interested fathers in the Sydney region please forward this email to them.

 

Have a great week and a great Father's Day!

 

___________________________________________________________

Warwick Marsh  has been married to Alison for 32 years. He is the father of five children, four boys and one girl, ranging in age from 26 years to 14 years.  Warwick is a musician, songwriter, producer and public speaker who likes to think he can still laugh at himself.

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Grandads

 

In response to our own request for comments on Grandads. Here's a piece from the archives:

Issue No. 56 - 22nd September, 2003

 

The Backstops

By Ron Hellyer

 

The individualistic nature of man: proud, assertive, independent, capable, supportive, strong and loving.

Whilst there are many more characteristics and men are individuals, a common thread weaves through all Australian fathers - fathers who by choice become fathers and by accident became fathers.

This thread is RESPONSIBILITY.

 

Responsibility as:

o        A provider

o        Teacher

o        Lover

o        Advisor

o        Watchman

o        Encourager

o        Driver, motivator

o        Spiritual leader

 

Does every father accept these responsibilities? Many do, some do not, and some do not even know what they are and how to develop their responsibility skills.

Where do these skills come from?

In most cases, from our fathers and grandfathers, if not, from role models and societal expectations.

 

I learnt so much from my father, particularly in managing money. His father was an alcoholic who died in his early fifties, so Dad developed his responsibilities through experience and sharing with his mates.

 

Later, when he became a grandfather he continued his responsibilities in a new form.

I took over the direct responsibilities of fatherhood and he became the backstop.

 

He was someone I could bounce things off, ask his opinion, confer with and generally 'chew the fat'.

 

With my children, he became the 'fun in life' figure, playing games, telling jokes and stories, engendering memories in my children's lives, teaching skills and helping to reinforce my role as a father.

 

Grandfathers are so important to the responsibilities of fatherhood. They can support a struggling father and continue to inject life into a family at the same time. In a society failing to keep the family together, the role of Grandfathers (and grandmothers) is greatly downplayed.

 

If you retired or are reaching retirement and haven't got a family nearby to support consider becoming an 'adoptive grandfather'.

 

It?s not hard to find some young father struggling in life.

 

But there has to be a breakthrough in the mentality 'I can do it myself' to 'I can do this with help'?

 

Australian society needs the resurrection of the family.

 

Grandfathers and all they can offer are a vital component of the future fatherhood of Australia.

 ____________________________________________________

Ron Hellyer has been married to Margaret for 28 years and is the father of five children (plus extras). Ron is management consultant based in Broken Hill, outback NSW.

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Laughter

 

 

 

 

 

 

  Your Yearly Test

It's that time of year to take our annual Dementia Test, to see how the grey matter is shaping up.


Exercise of the brain is as important as exercise of the  muscles. As we grow older, it's important to keep mentally  alert. If you don't use it, you lose it! Below is a very  private way to gauge your loss or non-loss of  intelligence. 



Take the test presented here to determine if you're losing  it or not. The spaces below are so you don't see the answers until you've made your answer. OK, relax, clear your mind and begin. 

 

 
1. What do you put in a toaster? 

 

 

 


Answer: "bread." If you said "toast," give up now and do something else. Try not to hurt yourself. If you said,  bread, go to Question 2.
 
2. Say "silk" five times. Now spell "silk." What do cows  drink?
 

 

 

 

Answer: Cows drink water. If you said "milk," don't  attempt the next question. Your brain is over-stressed and may even overheat. Content yourself with reading a more appropriate literature such as Auto World. However, if you said "water", proceed to question 3.
 

 

 

3. If a red house is made from red bricks and a blue house is made from blue bricks and a pink house is made from pink bricks and a black house is made from black bricks, what is a green house made from?
 

 

 

 


Answer: Greenhouses are made from glass. If you said "green bricks," why are you still reading these??? If you said "glass," go on to Question 4.
   

4. It's twenty years ago, and a plane is flying at 20,000  feet over Germany (If you will recall, Germany at the time was politically divided into West Germany and East  Germany.)    Anyway, during the flight, two engines fail. the pilot, realizing that the last remaining engine is also failing, decides on a crash landing procedure.
Unfortunately the engine fails before he can do so and the plane fatally crashes smack in the middle of "no man's land" between East Germany and West Germany. Where would you bury the survivors? East Germany, West Germany, or no  man's' land"?
 

 

 


Answer: You don't bury survivors. If you said ANYTHING else, you're a dunce and you must stop. If you said, "You  don't bury survivors", proceed to the next question.
 

 

5. Without using a calculator - You are driving a bus from London to Milford Haven in Wales. In London, 17 people get on the bus. In Reading, six people get off the bus and nine people get on. In Swindon, two people get off and four get on. In Cardiff, 11 people get off and 16 people get on. In Swansea, three people get off and five people get on. In Carmathen, six people get off and three get on. You then arrive at Milford Haven. What was the name ! of the bus driver?
 

 

 

Answer: Oh, for crying out loud! Don't you remember your own name? It was YOU!!
 

 

Now pass this along to all your friends and pray they do better than you. 

 


PS:  just for your comfort 95% of people fail most of the questions!!

 

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Single Dads

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

To:
The Single Fathers who have their children with them for Father's Day - we hope you enjoy it!

Please spend as much time as you can with them considering your circumstances.

To:
The Single Fathers who unfortunately do not have access to their children on Father's Day.

We know it is hard, but we want you to know that we at the Lone Fathers are fighting a battle on an ongoing basis for a 'rebuttable presumption of shared care' and we will never give up until this is achieved. We also want better laws on access arrangements
to ensure that mothers and fathers do not prevent children having opportunities to access either parent, Father's Day being a prime example.

We wish all dads a Happy Father's Day. Please don't stress if you cannot see your children.

Give us a call or catch up with some friends or family members instead.
Together we can make a difference.

Kind regards
Lone Fathers Association Australia
www.lonefathers.com.au  
Barry Williams
president@lonefathers.com.au
02 6239 4650

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Special Feature

DADS DO MAKE A DIFFERENCE

By Ilsa Cunningham

29 August 07, Illawarra Mercury

 

Fatherhood is a learning process but taking an active role in the upbringing of their children can create a lasting bond.

 

Warwick Marsh knows first-hand how painful it is to grow up without the constant love and support of both parents.

 

Raised with long absences from both his mum and dad, Marsh decided no child of his was going to grow up in a similar environment.

 

Instead the Berkeley man made a conscious effort to bond with his five children as early as possible.

 

He achieved that through music: he formed a band with his wife Alison and five children and has travelled around the world playing in villages, churches and at concerts.

 

They write their own music, and perform anything from rock to jazz, blues, rap and reggae.

 

"Music was a great way to bond with the kids," Marsh says.

 

"I don't particularly like rap, but Jonathan does so I've had to listen to it and now I can appreciate a good rap song"

 

He also introduced a weekly family night, where they'd play games and enjoy each other's company.

 

Marsh's commitment to fatherhood didn't stop there. Determined to spread the word about the importance of fathers in a child's upbringing, he established the Fatherhood Foundation in 2002. Offering support to fathers, the web-based organization has spread around Australia.

 

"It's very tough on kids these days when 25 per cent of them grow up without their biological dad in the home," Marsh says.

 

"Fatherlessness is associated with all sorts of problems like poverty, and children getting involved in drugs, sex crimes, mental problems, suicide and doing worse at school."

 

He says the key to gaining the trust of your children is to bond with them early.

 

Although it may seem difficult to find the time when working long hours, there are simple ways to spend valuable time with your child.

 

When you have dinner, sit down together around the table and turn off the television. It's great for developing interpersonal skills, and is a good time to catch up on the day's events, particularly if people are in and out at different hours, he says.

 

Look for opportunities to spend time with your children, like going shopping together, or helping them with their homework.

 

Adopt a family hobby, do chores together, and don't be afraid to make mistakes. Fatherhood is all a learning process and no-one gets it right the first time, Marsh says.

 

Sacha Molitorisz knows the pressures of being a father for the first time.

 

The Sydney journalist and author of 'From Here to Paternity', says it took time to form a bond with his daughter Edie, who is almost two years old.

 

"At times I had thoughts about missing the life I had, and it was exhausting and put a strain on the relationship," he says.

 

"But when she was about one year old, there was a real turning point, and I started going, 'this is great.' She'd started walking and was not so dependent and became more playful, fun and engaging."

 

Often fathers worry when they don't bond with their child immediately, but it will happen, Molitorisz says.

 

If you do as much as you can each day, like bathing the baby, changing nappies and dressing the child, this can help create a bond,

 

It can also take some pressure off the mother and give her much-needed time to rest.

 

But it's not only the new mum who feels the pressure of a new baby, Molitorisz says.

 

Post-natal depression in men is not commonly discussed and most people don't even know it exists, but it is relatively common.

 

Dads might feel embarrassed to talk about it or seek help, but it's very important that treatment is sought.

 

"Having a kid is such a tremendous change - your life is no long what it was afterwards," Molitorisz says.

 

"It can take a major adjustment if you're mourning the life you had," he says.

 

"All the things you were used to doing like partying and hanging out with your mates is gone and you can get into the frame of mind that it's gone altogether, which it isn't. It's important to focus on the positives."

 

Although fatherhood is tough, it's a challenge worth experiencing.

 

"I love it now and wouldn't change it for the world," he says.

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Thought of the Week

 

 
When I was a boy of 14 
my father was so ignorant 
I could hardly stand to 
have the old man around. 
 
But when I got to be 21, 
I was astonished at how much he had
 learned in seven years. 
 
Mark Twain

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All You Need is Love

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

In Honour of Fathers

Be Sure to Set the Bar High

Sunday, June 17, 2007

Shanna Flowers

 

I interrupt this Father's Day column to salute healthy and happy marriages.

 

Why? Because strong men make strong marriages, and strong marriages make strong families.

 

And strong families make strong communities.

 

I'm not diminishing the contributions of singles, because I'm one. But when I look to the larger community and its future, it is personified in children.

 

As a society, we've tried to diminish the role of dad in the well-being of families and children, to deem him irrelevant or unimportant. Tragically, too many men have gladly embraced that ill-conceived notion.

 

Nationally, one-third of all children are being raised in single-parent families; that percentage is double for black children. Most of them are headed by women.

 

Today, on Father's Day, set the bar high. All of us can see the devastating consequences of setting it low.

 

Children are more likely to flourish in a household with a happily married couple.

 

That's why the work of people such as Thomas and Towanda Penn and Samuel and Gail Thompson is so vital to our community. These couples, with more than six decades of marriage between them, are on the front lines of trying to enhance family and marriage. Five years ago they established a biblically based marriage enhancement group called FLAME -- Family Life and Marriage Enrichment.

 

'What makes a healthy and happy marriage'?

 

The ability to communicate and resolve conflicts is key, Towanda Penn said. "If you can learn those things -- it's so many things involved in those -- you can work out

anything."

 

These seminars expose couples -- particularly men -- to what healthy relationships are all about.

 

"A whole lot of men don't know what their roles are," said Samuel Thompson, an analyst with the state Department of Rehabilitative Services. "We know cars, computers, but we don't know relationships.

 

"If you have fathers in position of leadership, gangs wouldn't exist," Thompson said.

 

Penn added, "The salvation of the family is in the men coming home."

 

Happy Father's Day, with a special nod to the ones handling their business as husbands at home.

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News & Info

LAST CHANCE TO REGISTER

'Good to Great'

Fatherhood Mentoring Course 

5th September 2007

 

The Fatherhood Foundation is excited to announce that the ten week 'Good to Great Fatherhood Mentoring Course' will commence in Sydney on 5th September 2007, three days after Father's Day. This is the first time that this course has been readily available to Sydney dads. Fortunately there are still a few places available for those brave fathers who are up for the challenge. 

 

 

Founder Warwick Marsh says, "The biggest challenge for fathers in Australia is to become the change we seek. Our children need our love. Children spell love T-I-M-E and 'Good to Great' is all about helping fathers create time for their children and lead by example. We invite dads who are interested in enrolling for the Good to Great Mentoring Course in Sydney, commencing 5th September 2007, to contact the Sydney campus at GracePoint Christian Church, 8-10 Soudan St, Randwick 02 9399 5959. This is also the location of the course. A free introductory DVD and course prospectus is available. For further details please contact the Fatherhood Foundation. 02 4272 6677 or info@fatherhood.org.au  Enrolments for Sydney are filling fast and we encourage you to apply now to avoid disappointment."

 

Warwick Marsh                   0418 225 212          

Good to Great 5th September - 28th November 07

Fatherhood Foundation        02 4272 6677          

Wednesday evenings 7pm - 9.30 pm

Cost - $250 includes workbooks, manual and resource materials

info@fatherhood.org.au                                    

www.fatherhood.org.au                                   

____________________

 

National Strategic Summit on Marriage Family & Fatherhood

Tuesday 18th September 2007

Parliament House Canberra 

 

Spaces are limited!

 

If you interested to attend this important gathering of key leaders from within the Marriage,Family & Fatherhood movement please contact Warwick Marsh on 02 42726677 or email info@fatherhood.org.au

 

RSVP by Wednesday 12 September 2007


Firstly, the purpose of the National Strategic Summit on Marriage, Family and Fatherhood is to strengthen and support marriages and set a vision for the renewal of marriage in Australia. The National Strategic Summit will be the official launching pad for the release of the 'Marriage Manifesto' which is a call to the nation to value and treasure the relationships that we all hold so dear. Marriage is the foundation for our families and families are the foundation for our nation.

The second purpose of the National Strategic Summit is to affirm fatherhood and motherhood and the importance of male and female. To this end we will release a groundbreaking research document called 'The Importance of Male and Female - 21 Reasons Why Gender Matters'.
These documents will be a milestone in the progress of the marriage, famil! y, and fatherhood movement. It is also critical for us to develop a true understanding of complimentarity of the genders and their important role in a healthy society. Gender Disorientation Pathology is something that healthy societies must avoid at all costs.
As Arnold Toynbee said "civilisations die from suicide not murder".

The National Strategic Summit is also your chance to connect with parliamentarians and decision makers in the lead up to the federal election that is to be held later in the year. Key speakers will be addressing important topics on family, fatherhood, motherhood and the vital role gender plays in healthy families and healthy individuals.
Speakers and panellists that have been invited to contribute at the National Strategic Summit include Neil & Jane Rookes from the National Marriage Coalition, Byron & Francine Pirola from Celebrate Love, Mary Louise Fowler from the Australian Family Association, Chris Meney from the Marriage and F! amily Office, Babette Francis from the Endeavour Forum, Jack Sonneman from Federation for the Family, James Adams from Fathers in Families, Attorney General Hon Philip Ruddock, Shadow Attorney General Senator Joe Ludwig (TBC), Bill Muehlenberg from CultureWatch,  and Peter& Jenny Stokes from Saltshakers (TBC), Ron Brookman from Living Waters, Richard Egan from Festival of Light and several others. It might be noted that all of these speakers are presenting freely and at their own cost as a service to the families and the nation of Australia.

Please email: info@fatherhood.org.au or phone: 02-4272 6677 if you would like to attend this event as space is limited.
___________________________________ 
  
Letters


I read with interest your summary of the Simpson's movie and the father figure represented by good ol' Homer. I haven't seen the movie but am familiar with Homer's deficiencies. I totally agree that modern men are portrayed as morons, sports junkies, sexually and socially inept, etc. Characters like Al Bundy, Ray Romano, etc. really sum up how the modern western world sees us.

I was in the mood for an action flick last night and decided to rent out '300'. While the movie had more blood, gore and violence than Passion of the Christ (hmm), I was really inspired by the fatherly role model that Spartan warriors were for their sons, as well as the strong bond of love and passion between the warrior and his wife. While the life of a ! Spartan was quite brutal; the warrior's fierce love for his city and his family brought in a sense of humanity and purpose into his existence. The warrior's pride in his sons, and his willingness to outwardly show it, would be the greatest source of inspiration and self confidence these boys could ever have received. The spartan's extraordinary courage and his willingness to lay down his life for his beloved city & family is a truly inspirational role model, which actually has many parallels to the life of Christ. If you can get past the gore and fantasy element of the movie (in the line of Lord of the Rings), I'm sure you may find it quite inspiring'.

The chord that this movie struck with my inner man makes me think that the core values of a Spartan warrior are something that a man truly aspires to have, but we seem to have this desire humiliated, ridiculed and beaten out of us by this effeminate, politically correct society. I even believe our women would truly a! ppreciate their man
living by these core values, which would no doubt strike a few chords in them with regards to a female's basic inner desire to be protected by her man, to the point of him laying down his life for her without a hint of hesitation. This may explain why so many women are drawn to the rough and tough sort, like fighters, footballers, etc.

I would love to know what your views are on this movie, or some of the other readers.
Hope to hear from you soon.

Regards
Alex
Alex.Cavicchi@irwinconsult.com.au

_________________________________

Dear Fatherhood Foundation

Yesterday my aunt and I were visiting a church in Lincoln, Illinois and they had posters placed in many places throughout their building and school titled "One Hundred Ways to Praise A Child".  Also on their poster was your organization's ! name and e-mail address.  Thus, this request.  This is a fantastic poster and we were wondering how we
can get a copy of this.  I've searched your web site but cannot find where I can find it to print it off.

Thank you so much!
Myra Lo

Editors Note:
Great to hear that our resources are being used so extensively. 
Like to get some ideas of words to use to encourage your child?

Print off the poster, 'One Hundred Ways to Praise a Child' at:
http://www.fatherhood.org.au/greatDads_tipsResources.html 
 

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Dad's Prayer

 

Dear Father God 
 
Help me to be what my children expect me to be, 
which is what I know you to be. 
That would be a miracle. 
Miracles do happen 
But the impossible takes a bit longer. 
HAPPY FATHER'S DAY!!

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Help Us

Click here for more information about us

Help Us!

The Fatherhood Foundation is a Harm Prevention Charity.
Fatherlessness and inadequate fathering has been proven to be a source of harm.

The Fatherhood Foundation helps children by promoting excellence  in fathering. Excellent fathers are in word and deed: responsible, involved, protective, loving and committed to the well-being of their children and their children's mother.

If you would like to give financially to the Fatherhood Foundation Public Fund and receive tax deductibility:

Fatherhood Foundation Public Fund
(Name, address and amount details must be emailed for a receipt for tax deductibility)
Westpac Branch Wollongong
BSB: 032 695
A/C: 25-5558

Or mail cheque and address details to:
PO Box 440
WOLLONGONG  NSW  2520
AUSTRALIA

The Fatherhood Foundation Public Fund  is a public fund listed on the Register of Harm Prevention Charities under Subdivision 30_EA of the Income Tax Assessment Act 1997.

You have received the fathersonline.org newsletter because you have subscribed, or you have been subscribed by a friend.  If you do not wish to receive future emails, please click the UNSUBSCRIBE button below or send an email to info@fathersonline.org with the word UNSUBSCRIBE in the subject heading.

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