Received: from beru.its.uow.edu.au ([130.130.68.31]) by anubis.ad.uow.edu.au with Microsoft SMTPSVC(6.0.3790.3959); Wed, 9 Apr 2008 15:58:33 +1000 Received: from febris-nat.its.uow.edu.au ([130.130.68.210] helo=febris.its.uow.edu.au) by beru.its.uow.edu.au with esmtp (Exim 4.69) (envelope-from ) id 1JjTKL-0006wU-C7 for blane@uow.edu.au; Wed, 09 Apr 2008 15:58:33 +1000 Received: from marlin.fishinternet.com.au (marlin.fishinternet.com.au [202.77.90.3]) by febris.its.uow.edu.au (MOS 3.8.5-GA) with ESMTP id JPO70415; Wed, 9 Apr 2008 15:58:31 +1000 (EST) Received: from COMP1 (unknown [118.67.218.7]) by marlin.fishinternet.com.au (Postfix) with ESMTP id 545E6DEB91 for ; Wed, 9 Apr 2008 15:26:42 +1000 (EST) From: "Fatherhood Foundation" To: "Lane, Brian" Subject: 13/05/2007 Real Men Date: Wed, 9 Apr 2008 15:28:38 +1000 Message-ID: <005601c89a02$92ae55d0$6401a8c0@COMP1> MIME-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: multipart/alternative; boundary="----=_NextPart_000_0057_01C89A56.645A65D0" X-Mailer: Microsoft Office Outlook 11 Thread-Index: AciaApA2seaTQzVGT/KJu23Z6ZnEiA== X-MimeOLE: Produced By Microsoft MimeOLE V6.00.2900.3198 X-Junkmail-Status: score=10/49, host=febris.its.uow.edu.au X-Junkmail-SD-Raw: score=unknown, refid=str=0001.0A150203.47FC5B09.0013,ss=1,fgs=0, ip=202.77.90.3, so=2007-07-31 18:51:00, dmn=5.4.3/2008-02-01 Return-Path: info@fathersonline.org X-OriginalArrivalTime: 09 Apr 2008 05:58:33.0675 (UTC) FILETIME=[BE8249B0:01C89A06] This is a multi-part message in MIME format. ------=_NextPart_000_0057_01C89A56.645A65D0 Content-Type: text/plain; charset="US-ASCII" Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit Unable to read this email? Please click here Issue 247 - 14th May, 2007 Go to our website Here * Hello Warwick <> * Grandads <> * Laughter <> * Single Dads <> * Special Feature <> * Thought of the Week <> * All You Need is Love <> * News <> & Info * Dad's Prayer <> * Help Us <> Hello Warwick I recently had the pleasure of hearing Dr Robert Lewis, from the USA, at the Regional Men's Day at the Yallah Roadhouse in Wollongong, near where I live. Robert Lewis is one of the best communicators on men's issues I have ever heard. Robert is a pastor and is highly tuned to the needs of men. Over the last few decades he has developed some great courses such as the twenty-four week course, 'Quest for Authentic Manhood'. The quest for Authentic Manhood challenges men to look deep inside and to discover their core identity as a man. The second study, Winning at Work and Home, explores the chief responsibilities and relationships that define a man's life. The third in the series is The Great Adventure, which puts a roof on the house of masculinity by creating an exciting vision of life through the discovery of their individual uniqueness, their identity and a satisfying life focus. Roberts is the first to admit that churches are not necessarily the most men-friendly places in the world. He believes that: Men need a safe place where they know they are not alone Men need a compelling vision Men need time to effectively process their manhood Men need practical applications they can use and taste success with Men need male mentors to encourage them through their manhood journey Men need a sacred moment to understand the spiritual implications of manhood Men need other men of like-heart and mind who understand all of the above and can help them on the journey Craig Porter, of Hangout Inc www.hangout.com first introduced me to the work of Robert Lewis and Men's Fraternity a few years back when he attended the National Strategic Conference on Fatherhood (NSCF). The NSCF was convened and organized by the Fatherhood Foundation at Parliament House, Canberra in 2003. Craig has a passion for men and mentoring and wants to help young boys in their transition to manhood. He loaned me his Robert Lewis CD series, 'Men's Fraternity'. Lewis blew me out of the water with his practical, well thought out, deeply spiritual messages to men. That's why it was such a privilege to hear him speak and meet him face to face last Saturday. I found Dr Robert Lewis to be both humble and very real and as Steve Messner sings, 'I like that about a man.' Let me share three simple thoughts Robert Lewis uses that define what a real man is: Real men reject passivity Real man accept responsibility Real men lead courageously and expect God's reward The bottom line is that God loves us and wants the best for us and I think the above definition of real manhood really takes some beating. Retreating into my cave is something I do very well. Rejecting passivity and accepting responsibility are probably my biggest challenges. Lovework Challenge yourself as a man to grow: by listening, learning and reading. Your family and yourself will be the ultimate benefactors. Yours for real men Warwick Marsh PS Dr Robert Lewis course resources are available from www.crsforums.info/mensfraternity ___________________________________________________________ Warwick Marsh has been married to Alison for 31 years. He is the father of five children, four boys and one girl, ranging in age from 26 years to 14 years. Warwick is a musician, songwriter, producer and public speaker who likes to think he can still laugh at himself. back to top <> Grandads ATTENTION MEN: before you criticise another, look closely at your sister's brother. Anon back to top <> Laughter During a visit to the mental asylum, a visitor asked the Director what the criterion was which defined whether or not a patient should be institutionalised. "Well," said the Director, "we fill up a bathtub, and then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty the bathtub." "Oh, I understand," said the visitor. "A normal person would use the bucket because it's bigger than the spoon or the teacup." "No." said the Director. "A normal person would pull the plug. Do you want a bed near the window?" back to top <> Single Dads Dad, I need MONEY by Guy Sweeting I thought it would have been a while longer before my 14 year old son Lachlan put that to me, but as a single father it was good he showed me a bit of maturity by not only presenting a problem, but providing an answer: window washing. There has though, been an interesting outcome to funds raised from this venture. His mother and I have agreed to put half of the money raised into his bank account to save for the future, while the other half he is free to spend. Lachlan has spent reasonably wisely by buying a cheap low memory MP3 recorder and a much needed helmet for the motorbike he received as a combined birthday and Christmas present (as mentioned in a previous article). Unfortunately, I had to ban him from riding his bike for a week when his form teacher rang to inform me he had been using condoms as water bombs at school. His mother and I have also banned him from buying any more condoms or else there will be no windscreen washing allowed. Thankfully, buying the MP3 recorder and the helmet came after buying the condoms, so from that I can safely gather hes learned his lesson. I do find startling though, how he was able to have the guts to go to the counter of a chemist and buy packets of condoms, let alone an attendant behind the counter at a chemist allowing boys that young to buy them. I have to add, he admitted another boy had encouraged him to buy the condoms and the other boy was even younger than Lachlan. The condom issue aside, Im proud, as a single father, to see my young son taking it on himself to come up with the idea of successfully making money by washing windscreens. There is bittersweet news on the bullying front for this school year though. While one bully who lived near my son has left the area, the other still poses a threat and is being monitored by both parents and the school. Otherwise, Lachlans school year is off to a much more promising start this year as he has already been able to enjoy metalwork, which has been one thing he has been really looking forward to. With a parent information night on tonight, it will be my chance to meet his teacher (who sounds pretty switched on) and get a complete run down of the year ahead. Ive got say Im looking forward to it. The year ahead that is. __________________________________________________________ Guy Sweeting is the presenter and producer of Channel Tens State Focus program and the single father of a teenage son. With this column, Guy explores many issues that face non custodial parents, fathers and kids. A great single parent resource with much more at http://www.singleparentbible.com.au back to top <> Special Feature Mother's Day Poem There was a hustle and a bustle And a wrapping -paper rustle, Sometime t'ward late Mid-morning At our house on Mother's Day We'd left the cards that we were making And the breakfast we were baking We'd left all that we were doing Left the kitchen's smoking ruin, To gather on your bed And tell you all the things unsaid Things we so often mean to say About this debt we cannot pay, We had made a Big long list (of all the things that you do for us) And then we boiled it Down to this (which we recite, in loving chorus) MUM: You pack my bag for school and brush my hair and teeth You sometimes take me to the pool And some other times, the beach You make me yummy stuff to eat And share your chocolates with me You put my sneakers on my feet And dress me up so prettily You take me shopping for cool things And pick my toys up off the floor You help our Daddy, when he sings And scare that nasty dinosaur! You help me draw my ABCs And teach me how to cook You show me all the funnest games And how to read a book And when I'm feeling sick You put your hand upon my head And make me feel much better Cuddled up in your big bed You feel so nice and smell so sweet And show me your heart cares When you wash my clothes and clean my room And guard my teddy bears This list is just a tiny peek At all the things you do One last thing... As you kiss my cheek My Mum My tender, loving Mum... I owe my life to you by Jason, Jeremy, Caitlin and Annabelle back to top <> Thought of the Week What's true of mountain climbing is true of manhood . . You can't climb the mountain of manhood disconnected from other men. Dr Robert Lewis back to top <> All You Need is Love Authors Counsel Couples with Special Needs Children Pittsburg Post-Gazette Wednesday, May 09, 2007 By Tina Calabro Over the past few years, numerous books have been written about raising children with special needs, but -- until now -- none that focus solely on the tremendous stress that such parenting adds to a marriage. Laura Marshak, a Squirrel Hill resident, and co-author Fran Pollock Prezant have filled that gap with "Married with Special-Needs Children: A Couples Guide to Keeping Connected" (Woodbine House, 2007). The book recently won an iParenting Media Award. My interest in this book is quite personal. As a parent of an 11-year-old son with disabilities, I have survived many of the marital struggles that come with the territory -- especially during my son's early years. I was depressed, anxious, and frequently arguing with my husband about our "special" child. A good friend urged me to talk to Dr. Marshak, a psychologist who teaches at Indiana University of Pennsylvania and has a counseling practice in the North Hills. That "conversation" lasted about three years. Now that I can look back on that period from a distance, it's interesting to read about the broad strokes of what my husband and I were going through. Like many mothers of young children with special needs, I had become quite consumed by the implications of the diagnosis (cerebral palsy) and what I could do to offset future problems. My husband, on the other hand, was much more accepting of our son's condition and inclined to take things day by day. Although we were both very committed to our son, we often disagreed about what was best for him -- so much so that I began to pull away from my husband and, increasingly, to manage the special needs care on my own. During counseling, Dr. Marshak offered a suggestion that changed my course: Rather than angrily "doing it all myself," why not gently teach my husband about my viewpoints. Although I initially blanched at the idea, I followed her wise advice. Over time, my husband and I got on the same page about our son's situation and have stayed there. No doubt, raising a child with special needs is one of the biggest challenges to a marriage. The divorce rate for such couples is somewhat higher than the already high national divorce rate (about 50 percent for first marriages; 75 percent for second marriages). In their comprehensive yet readable book, Dr. Marshak and Ms. Prezant, a former faculty member at Indiana University of Pennsylvania and a specialist in parent support, explain that the intense upheaval in the early years of special parenting can affect a marriage for a long time. As if that's not enough to deal with, couples often find themselves revisiting that intensity at certain junctures in the child's life, such as hospitalizations, school transitions, or when the child reaches adulthood. The authors -- both of whom have personal and professional experience with the subject -- describe the typical issues that couples encounter, such as differing styles of accepting a child's diagnosis, conflicts about who does what, and over involvement in the child's needs. These problems cannot be addressed by any single formula, say the authors. Instead, they offer couples information about the predictable pitfalls and strategies for finding some middle ground. Often, the demands of having a child with special needs exacerbates personality differences that may have already surfaced for the couple as a source of conflict. If the marriage was in serious trouble before the special needs came along, dissolution may be inevitable. But for a majority of couples, the authors say, the marriages are "good enough" and can be helped along with some attention to what the couple is going through in respect to the child's special needs. That was the case for my husband and me. We had a "good enough" marriage before our child with a disability came along. In my frustration, I believed that I would not be able to cope with my son's special needs and the accompanying marriage issues. But I was wrong. As Dr. Marshak observes about "good enough" marriages, the partners often discover that they "may not be on the same side of their arguments, but they are on the same side of life." So if you are frustrated with your partner, but have a "good enough" marriage, take a look at this book. You may see your marriage more clearly. Or consider professional counseling. Remember that it doesn't have to be couples therapy - mine wasn't. A professional counselor can help you view your situation with some objectivity and understand how to hang in for the long haul. Dr. Marshak welcomes invitations to speak to parent groups or to conduct book discussions. You can contact her at marshak@iup.edu. back to top <> News & Info If You Believe in the Family, COME TO WARSAW For World Congress of Families IV May 11-13, 2007 Who We Are: The World Congress of Families (WCF) was founded in 1997 by Dr. Allan Carlson (president of The Howard Center for Family, Religion & Society), when the first Congress convened in Prague. Since then, there have been Congresses in Geneva (1999) and Mexico City (2004). More than 3,000 pro-family activists from over 65 countries are expected in Warsaw this spring for World Congress of Families IV. World Congress of Families fosters an international network of organizations, leaders, legislators, scholars and activists seeking to restore the natural family as the fundamental social unit and seedbed of a civil society. Our Goals: To shift the public policy debate: From 'The Family as an obstacle to development' to 'The Family as the source of social renewal and progress' - From 'overpopulation' to 'under-population' as the demographic challenge of the 21st century - From 'The small family and voluntary childlessness as good' to 'The celebration of large families as a special social gift' - From 'religious orthodoxy as a threat to progress' to 'religious orthodoxy as the source of humane values and cultural progress.' Some of the Issues We'll Be Talking About In Warsaw: Gender Rights or Family Rights - Demographic Winter as the New Population Crisis - The Family Home as the Center of Upbringing and Education - Family Enterprises and Family Independence - The Effects of Marital Fidelity and Harmony on the Family - What's Wrong With Cohabitation' - The Harm of 'Same-Sex Marriage' - Media and the Family: Threats and Opportunities - How Abortion Undermines The Family - The Impact of Pornography on Family Unity. Why Warsaw in 2007; Europe is the battlefield and Poland is pivotal. Through demographic winter and the rule of an anti-family elite, Europe is almost lost to family values. The loss of Europe will have a devastating impact on the family in the Americas, Asia and Africa, as well as in international forums. Poland is a bastion of tradition, faith and family. WCF IV will draw pro-family advocates from across the European continent in what could be the beginning of a pro-family renaissance. A Unique Experience: You'll have an opportunity to make history while meeting people from around the world who share your values, exchanging ideas and strategies, hearing exciting speakers from five continents, helping to devise an international pro-family agenda and experiencing the wonder of Warsaw in the spring. Media Inquiries - Don Feder (508) 405-1337 or dfeder@rcn.com World Congress of Families - 934 N. Main St., Rockford, IL 61103. Phone: (815) 964-5819 or e-mail larry@worldcongress.org. For information on co-sponsoring WCF IV, contact Larry Jacobs at (815) 964-5819 or larry@worldcongress.org. * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * Gordon Dalbeys Sons of the Father Conferences NSW Conference 1: Sons of the Father at Gilbulla (Live-in conference) Date: 22-24 July 2007 (Limited places remaining) Location: Ellel Ministries centre Gilbulla 710 Moreton Park Road, Menangle, (near Campbelltown). Conference 2: Sons of the Fatherat Petersham Date: 30 June 1 July 2007 (Whole day Saturday & Sunday afternoon) Location: Petersham Assembly of God church 93 Audley St, Petersham, Sydney. To Register: Registrations for either event can be made by contacting Ellel Ministries Phone: 02-46338102 Email: info@ellel.org.au www.ellel.org.au Queensland Event: Sons of the Father at Somerset Dam (Live-in conference) Date: 13-15 July 2007 Location: Camp Somerset, Stanley Pocket Rd, via Esk, Queensland To Register: Phone: Men Transforming Men on 07-3876 8710 mtm.aust@bigpond.net.com www.mtmaustralia.org.au * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * MEN, LOVE, SEX & MARRIAGE A Fresh Look at Male Sexuality Saturday 16th June 2007 - 9am til 4:30pm A workshop for men with Noel Giblett Resources and Reflections on Manhood and masculinities Love: its joys and sorrows Sexuality: its delights and dark sides Marriage: fantasies and realities Venue: Workspace Unlimited Rear 139 Claremont Crescent, Swanbourne cnr. Franklin Street (near Swanbourne train station) Cost: Early Bloke registration (received before 1st June) $80 Last Minute Man registration (after 1st June) $100 Enquiries: Noel 0431 848 835 or noel@noelgiblett.com.au * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * Dad's Parenting Style holds the key to obesity Louise Hall Sydney Morning Herald If little children are overweight, it is probably their parents' fault -- right? Right. And most of us might guess that the mother, who deals more with young children and prepares their food, carries the greater responsibility. But when Australian researchers compared the body mass index of 5000 pre-school children with the parenting styles of their mothers and fathers, they found it was the fathers who made the difference. Mothers and fathers rated their parenting behaviour on warmth, control and irritability, and were classed by the researchers as either authoritative, authoritarian, permissive or disengaged. Children of fathers who allowed freedom without limits had a higher risk of being too heavy, while those whose fathers offered a "good balance between warmth, attention and discipline" were less likely to be overweight or obese. Mothers' parenting styles had no impact. The study, carried out at Melbourne's Centre for Community Child Health, may be the first of its kind. Co-author Jan Nicholson said: "Weight is related to diet and exercise and men potentially exert greater influence on the food available and the behaviour followed." http://www.smh.com.au/news/national/firm-dads-lead-way-for-kids-in-fat-fight /2007/05/05/1177788466104.html ________________________________________________________ Letters Dear Fatherhood Foundation I appreciate your recommending the book Boys passage Mans Journey. I have found the book & its advice invaluable. I am also keen to get a copy of his book for girls as my daughter is turning of age in a year or so. I see this information as so important that I am prepared to pay what ever is necessary. Thanks & Regards Michael * * * * * * * * * * * * * * Dear Fatherhood Foundation I have been enjoying your Mother's Day ad. Can you tell me the name of the song used for the ad and also the name of the artist? (the thank you one) I would like to purchase the song if it has been released. Hope you can help. Regards Heather back to top <> Dad's Prayer Dear God Help me climb the mountain of manhood. Help me find others that I can learn from, and who have climbed before me. Help me stay connected to the ones above and below me. Help me rest occasionally and enjoy the view. Oh, and one other thing How high is this mountain? back to top <> Help Us Click here for more information about us Help Us! The Fatherhood Foundation is a Harm Prevention Charity. Fatherlessness and inadequate fathering has been proven to be a source of harm. The Fatherhood Foundation helps children by promoting excellence in fathering. Excellent fathers are in word and deed: responsible, involved, protective, loving and committed to the well-being of their children and their children's mother. If you would like to give financially to the Fatherhood Foundation Public Fund and receive tax deductibility: Fatherhood Foundation Public Fund (Name, address and amount details must be emailed for a receipt for tax deductibility) Westpac Branch Wollongong BSB: 032 695 A/C: 25-5558 Or mail cheque and address details to: PO Box 440 WOLLONGONG NSW 2520 AUSTRALIA The Fatherhood Foundation Public Fund is a public fund listed on the Register of Harm Prevention Charities under Subdivision 30_EA of the Income Tax Assessment Act 1997. You have received the fathersonline.org newsletter because you have subscribed, or you have been subscribed by a friend. If you do not wish to receive future emails, please click the UNSUBSCRIBE button below or send an email to info@fathersonline.org with the word UNSUBSCRIBE in the subject heading. back to top <> Click Here to Unsubscribe ------=_NextPart_000_0057_01C89A56.645A65D0 Content-Type: text/html; charset="US-ASCII" Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable Fatherhood Foundation

 

 

Issue = 247 - 14th May, 2007

Go to our website Here<= /p>

 

 

 

 

Hello = Warwick

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I recently had the pleasure of hearing Dr Robert Lewis, from the USA, at the = Regional Men's Day at the Yallah Roadhouse in Wollongong, near where I live. = Robert Lewis is one of the best communicators on men's issues I have ever = heard. Robert is a pastor and is highly tuned to the needs of men.  = Over the last few decades he has developed some great courses such as the = twenty-four week course, 'Quest for Authentic = Manhood'.

 

The quest for Authentic Manhood challenges men to look deep inside and to = discover their core identity as a man. The second study, Winning at Work and Home, explores the chief responsibilities and relationships that define a = man's life. The third in the series is The Great Adventure, which puts a = roof on the house of masculinity by creating an exciting vision of life = through the discovery of their individual uniqueness, their identity and a = satisfying life focus.

 

Roberts is the first to admit that churches are not necessarily the most = men-friendly places in the world. He believes that:

 

Men need a safe place where they know they are not = alone

Men need a compelling vision

Men need time to effectively process their = manhood

Men need practical applications they can use and taste success = with

Men need male mentors to encourage them through their manhood = journey

Men need a sacred moment to understand the spiritual implications of = manhood

Men need other men of like-heart and mind who understand all of the above and = can help them on the journey

 

Craig Porter, of Hangout Inc www.hangout.com   first introduced me to the work of Robert Lewis and Men's Fraternity = a few years back when he attended the National Strategic Conference on = Fatherhood (NSCF). The NSCF was convened and organized by the Fatherhood = Foundation at Parliament House, Canberra in 2003. Craig has a passion for men and mentoring and wants to help young boys in their transition to = manhood. He loaned me his Robert Lewis CD series, 'Men's Fraternity'. Lewis blew = me out of the water with his practical, well thought out, deeply spiritual messages to men. That's why it was such a privilege to hear him = speak and meet him face to face last Saturday.

 

I found Dr Robert Lewis to be both humble and very real and as Steve Messner = sings, 'I like that about a man.'

 

Let me share three simple thoughts Robert Lewis uses that define what a real man = is:

Real men reject passivity

Real man accept responsibility

Real men lead courageously and expect God's = reward

 

The bottom line is that God loves us and wants the best for us and I think the = above definition of real manhood really takes some beating. Retreating = into my cave is something I do very well. Rejecting passivity and accepting responsibility are probably my biggest = challenges.

 

Lovework

 

Challenge yourself as a man to grow: by listening, learning and reading. Your = family and yourself will be the ultimate = benefactors.

 

Yours for real men

Warwick Marsh

 

PS Dr Robert Lewis course resources are available from www.crsforums.info/mens= fraternity 

______________________________________________= _____________

Warwick Marsh has been married to Alison for 31 years. He is = the father of five children, four boys and one girl, ranging in age from = 26 years to 14 years.  Warwick is a musician, songwriter, = producer and public speaker who likes to think he can still laugh at = himself.

back = to top

Grandads

 

 

ATTENTION MEN:

before you criticise another,

look closely at your sister's brother.

 

Anon

back = to top

Laughter

 

 

During a visit to the = mental asylum, a visitor asked the Director what the criterion was which = defined whether or not a patient should be = institutionalised.

 

 "Well," = said the Director, "we fill up a bathtub, and then we offer a teaspoon, = a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty the bathtub."

 

"Oh, I = understand," said the visitor.  "A normal person would use the bucket = because it's bigger than the spoon or the = teacup."

 

"No." said = the Director.  "A normal person would pull the plug.  Do = you want a bed near the window?"

back = to top

Single Dads =

 

Dad, I = need MONEY
by = Guy Sweeting

 <= /p>

I thought it would = have been a while longer before my 14 year old son Lachlan put that to me, but = as a single father it was good he showed me a bit of maturity by not only presenting a problem, but providing an answer: window washing. =

There has though, = been an interesting outcome to funds raised from this venture.  His = mother and I have agreed to put half of the money raised into his bank account = to save for the future, while the other half he is free to spend.  = Lachlan has spent reasonably wisely by buying a cheap low memory MP3 recorder = and a much needed helmet for the motorbike he received as a combined = birthday and Christmas present (as mentioned in a previous article). =

Unfortunately, I had = to ban him from riding his bike for a week when his form teacher rang to = inform me he had been using condoms as water bombs at school.  His mother = and I have also banned him from buying any more condoms or else there will = be no windscreen washing allowed.

Thankfully, buying = the MP3 recorder and the helmet came after buying the condoms, so from that = I can safely gather hes learned his lesson.  I do find startling = though, how he was able to have the guts to go to the counter of a chemist and = buy packets of condoms, let alone an attendant behind the counter at a = chemist allowing boys that young to buy them.  I have to add, he admitted = another boy had encouraged him to buy the condoms and the other boy was even = younger than Lachlan.

The condom issue = aside, Im proud, as a single father, to see my young son taking it on himself = to come up with the idea of successfully making money by washing = windscreens.

There is bittersweet = news on the bullying front for this school year though.  While one = bully who lived near my son has left the area, the other still poses a threat = and is being monitored by both parents and the school.  Otherwise, = Lachlans school year is off to a much more promising start this year as he = has already been able to enjoy metalwork, which has been one thing he = has been really looking forward to.

With a parent = information night on tonight, it will be my chance to meet his teacher (who = sounds pretty switched on) and get a complete run down of the year = ahead.  Ive got say Im looking forward to it.  The year ahead that = is.

__________________________= ________________________________ 

Guy Sweeting is the = presenter and producer of Channel Tens State Focus program and the single = father of a teenage son.  With this column, Guy explores many issues that = face non custodial parents, fathers and = kids. 

A great single parent = resource with much more at http://www.singleparentbibl= e.com.au

back = to top

Special = Feature

Mother's Day = Poem

 

There was a hustle = and a bustle

And a wrapping -paper = rustle,

Sometime t'ward = late

Mid-morning

At our house on = Mother's Day

 

We'd left the cards = that we were making

And the breakfast we = were baking

We'd left all that we = were doing

Left the kitchen's = smoking ruin,

 

To gather on your = bed

And tell you all the = things unsaid

Things we so often = mean to say

About this debt we = cannot pay,

 

We had made = a

Big long = list

(of all the things = that you do for us)

And then we boiled = it

Down to = this

(which we recite, in = loving chorus)

 

MUM:

 

You pack my bag for = school

and brush my hair and = teeth

You sometimes take me = to the pool

And some other times, = the beach

You make me yummy = stuff to eat

And share your = chocolates with me

You put my sneakers = on my feet

And dress me up so = prettily

You take me shopping = for cool things

And pick my toys up = off the floor

You help our Daddy, = when he sings

And scare that nasty = dinosaur!

You help me draw my = ABCs

And teach me how to = cook

You show me all the = funnest games

And how to read a = book

And when I'm feeling = sick

You put your hand = upon my head<= /p>

And make me feel much = better

Cuddled up in your = big bed

You feel so nice and = smell so sweet

And show me your = heart cares

When you wash my = clothes and clean my room

And guard my teddy = bears

 

This list is just a = tiny peek

At all the things you = do

One last thing... As = you kiss my cheek

 

My = Mum

My tender, loving = Mum...

 

I owe my life to = you

 

by Jason, Jeremy, = Caitlin and Annabelle

back = to top

Thought of the = Week

 

 

What's true of mountain climbing

is true of manhood . . =

 

You can't climb the = mountain of manhood

disconnected from other = men.

 

Dr Robert Lewis

 

back = to top

All You Need is = Love

 &nbs= p;

Authors Counsel Couples with Special Needs = Children

Pittsburg Post-Gazette

Wednesday, May 09, = 2007

By Tina = Calabro

 

Over the past few = years, numerous books have been written about raising children with special = needs, but -- until now -- none that focus solely on the tremendous stress = that such parenting adds to a marriage.

 

Laura Marshak, a = Squirrel Hill resident, and co-author Fran Pollock Prezant have filled that gap = with "Married with Special-Needs Children: A Couples Guide to = Keeping Connected" (Woodbine House, 2007). The book recently won an = iParenting Media Award.

 

My interest in this = book is quite personal. As a parent of an 11-year-old son with disabilities, = I have survived many of the marital struggles that come with the territory = -- especially during my son's early years. I was depressed, anxious, = and frequently arguing with my husband about our "special" = child. A good friend urged me to talk to Dr. Marshak, a psychologist who = teaches at Indiana University of Pennsylvania and has a counseling practice in = the North Hills. That "conversation" lasted = about

three = years.

 

Now that I can look = back on that period from a distance, it's interesting to read about the = broad strokes of what my husband and I were going through. Like many = mothers of young children with special needs, I had become quite consumed by = the implications of the diagnosis (cerebral palsy) and what I could do = to offset future problems. My husband, on the other hand, was much more accepting of our son's condition and inclined to take things day by = day. Although we were both very committed to our son, we often disagreed = about what was best for him -- so much so that I began to pull away from = my husband and, increasingly, to manage the special needs care on my = own.

 

During counseling, = Dr. Marshak offered a suggestion that changed my course: Rather than angrily = "doing it all myself," why not gently teach my husband about my = viewpoints.

 

Although I initially = blanched at the idea, I followed her wise advice. Over time, my husband and I = got on the same page about our son's situation and have stayed = there.

 

No doubt, raising a = child with special needs is one of the biggest challenges to a marriage. The = divorce rate for such couples is somewhat higher than the already high = national divorce rate (about 50 percent for first marriages; 75 percent for = second marriages).

 

In their = comprehensive yet readable book, Dr. Marshak and Ms. Prezant, a former faculty member = at Indiana University of Pennsylvania and a specialist in parent = support, explain that the intense upheaval in the early years of special = parenting can affect a marriage for a long time. As if that's not enough to = deal with, couples often find themselves revisiting that intensity at = certain junctures in the child's life, such as hospitalizations, school transitions, or when the child reaches = adulthood.

 

The authors -- both = of whom have personal and professional experience with the subject -- = describe the typical issues that couples encounter, such as differing styles of accepting a child's diagnosis, conflicts about who does what, and = over involvement in the child's needs.

 

These problems cannot = be addressed by any single formula, say the authors. Instead, they = offer couples information about the predictable pitfalls and strategies = for finding some middle ground. Often, the demands of having a child = with special needs exacerbates personality differences that may have = already surfaced for the couple as a source of = conflict.

 

If the marriage was = in serious trouble before the special needs came along, dissolution may be = inevitable.

 

But for a majority of = couples, the authors say, the marriages are "good enough" and can = be helped along with some attention to what the couple is going through = in respect to the child's special needs.

 

That was the case for = my husband and me. We had a "good enough" marriage before our = child with a disability came along. In my frustration, I believed that I = would not be able to cope with my son's special needs and the accompanying marriage issues. But I was wrong.

 

As Dr. Marshak = observes about "good enough" marriages, the partners often discover that = they "may not be on the same side of their arguments, but they are = on the same side of life."

 

So if you are = frustrated with your partner, but have a "good enough" marriage, take a = look at this book. You may see your marriage more = clearly.

 

Or consider = professional counseling. Remember that it doesn't have to be couples = therapy - mine wasn't. A professional counselor can help you view your situation = with some objectivity and understand how to hang in for the long = haul.

 

Dr. Marshak welcomes invitations to speak to parent groups or to conduct book = discussions. You can contact her at marshak@iup.edu. =

back = to top

News & = Info

 = ;

If You Believe in the = Family,

COME TO WARSAW

For World Congress of Families = IV

May 11-13, = 2007

 <= /p>

Who We = Are: The World Congress of Families (WCF) was founded in 1997 by Dr. = Allan Carlson (president of The Howard Center for Family, Religion & Society), when the first Congress convened in Prague. Since then, there have been Congresses in Geneva (1999) and Mexico = City (2004). More than 3,000 pro-family activists from over 65 countries = are expected in Warsaw this spring for World Congress of Families IV. World Congress of = Families fosters an international network of organizations, leaders, = legislators, scholars and activists seeking to restore the natural family as the fundamental social unit and seedbed of a civil = society.

 <= /p>

Our = Goals: To shift the public policy debate: From 'The Family as an obstacle to development' to 'The Family as the source of social renewal and = progress' - From 'overpopulation' to 'under-population' as the demographic = challenge of the 21st century - From 'The small family and voluntary = childlessness as good' to 'The celebration of large families as a special social = gift' - From 'religious orthodoxy as a threat to progress' to 'religious = orthodoxy as the source of humane values and cultural = progress.'

Some of the Issues = We'll Be Talking About In Warsaw: Gender Rights or Family Rights - = Demographic Winter as the New Population Crisis - The Family Home as the = Center of Upbringing = and Education - Family Enterprises and Family Independence - The Effects = of Marital Fidelity and Harmony on the Family - What's Wrong With Cohabitation' - The Harm of 'Same-Sex Marriage' - Media and the = Family: Threats and Opportunities - How Abortion Undermines The Family - The = Impact of Pornography on Family Unity.

 <= /p>

Why Warsaw in 2007; Europe is the battlefield and Poland is pivotal. Through demographic winter and the rule of an = anti-family elite, Europe is almost lost to = family values. The loss of Europe will have a devastating impact on the family in = the Americas, Asia and Africa, as well as in international forums. Poland is a bastion of tradition, faith and family. WCF IV will draw = pro-family advocates from across the European continent in what could be the = beginning of a pro-family renaissance.

 <= /p>

A Unique = Experience: You'll have an opportunity to make history while meeting people from = around the world who share your values, exchanging ideas and strategies, = hearing exciting speakers from five continents, helping to devise an = international pro-family agenda and experiencing the wonder of Warsaw in the = spring.

 <= /p>

Media Inquiries - Don = Feder (508) 405-1337 or dfeder@rcn.com =

World Congress of = Families - 934 N. Main St., Rockford, = IL 61103. = Phone: (815) 964-5819 or e-mail larry@worldcongress.org.

For information on co-sponsoring WCF IV, contact Larry Jacobs at (815) 964-5819 or larry@worldcongress.org. =

 

* * * * * * * * * * * = * * * * * * * * * * * *

Gordon = Dalbeys Sons of the Father Conferences =

 

NSW

Conference 1: Sons of = the Father at Gilbulla (Live-in conference)

Date: =            22-24 July 2007 (Limited places remaining)

Location: =       Ellel Ministries centre Gilbulla 710 Moreton Park Road, Menangle, (near = Campbelltown).

 

Conference 2: Sons of = the Fatherat Petersham

Date: =            30 June 1 July 2007 (Whole day Saturday & Sunday = afternoon)

Location: =       Petersham Assembly of God church

    &n= bsp;     =           93 Audley St, Petersham, Sydney. =

To Register:   = Registrations for either event can be made by contacting =             &= nbsp;      =             &= nbsp;           &n= bsp;    Ellel Ministries           = Phone: 02-46338102

Email: info@ellel.org.au =

www.ellel.org.au =  

 

Queensland =

Event: =          Sons of the Father at Somerset Dam (Live-in = conference)

Date: =            13-15 July 2007

Location: =       Camp Somerset, Stanley Pocket Rd, via Esk, Queensland =

To Register:   = Phone: Men Transforming Men on 07-3876 8710

 mtm.aust@bigpond.net.com =

www.mtmaustralia.org.au =

 

* * * * * * * * * * * = * * * * *

 

MEN, LOVE, SEX & = MARRIAGE

A Fresh Look at Male = Sexuality

Saturday 16th June = 2007 - 9am til 4:30pm

 

A workshop for men = with Noel Giblett

Resources and = Reflections on Manhood and masculinities

 <= /p>

Love: its joys and sorrows

Sexuality: its delights and dark sides

Marriage= : fantasies and realities

 <= /p>

Venue: Workspace = Unlimited

Rear 139 Claremont Crescent, Swanbourne =

cnr. Franklin Street (near Swanbourne train = station)

Cost:  Early = Bloke registration (received before 1st June) = $80

    &n= bsp;     Last Minute Man registration (after 1st June) $100

Enquiries: Noel 0431 = 848 835 or noel@noelgiblett.com.au  

 

* * * * * * * * * * * = * * * * * *

Dad's = Parenting Style holds the key to = obesity

Louise Hall Sydney = Morning Herald

 

If little children = are overweight, it is probably their parents' fault -- right? Right. And = most of us might guess that the mother, who deals more with young = children and prepares their food, carries the greater responsibility. But when Australian researchers compared the body mass index of 5000 = pre-school children with the parenting styles of their mothers and fathers, = they found it was the fathers who made the difference. =

Mothers and fathers = rated their parenting behaviour on warmth, control and irritability, and = were classed by the researchers as either authoritative, authoritarian, permissive or disengaged. Children of fathers who allowed freedom = without limits had a higher risk of being too heavy, while those whose = fathers offered a "good balance between warmth, attention and = discipline" were less likely to be overweight or obese. Mothers' parenting = styles had no impact.

The study, carried = out at Melbourne's Centre for Community Child Health, may be the first of its kind. = Co-author Jan Nicholson said: "Weight is related to diet and exercise and = men potentially exert greater influence on the food available and the = behaviour followed."

http://www.smh.com.au/news/national/firm-dads-l= ead-way-for-kids-in-fat-fight/2007/05/05/1177788466104.html=

 

__________________________= ______________________________

 

Letters

Dear Fatherhood = Foundation

 

I appreciate your = recommending the book Boys passage Mans Journey. I have found the book & its = advice invaluable. I am also keen to get a copy of his book for girls as my daughter is turning of age in a year or so. I see this information = as so important that I am prepared to pay what ever is necessary.  =

 

Thanks & Regards =

Michael =

 

* * * * * * * * * * * = * * *

 

Dear Fatherhood = Foundation

 

I have been enjoying = your Mother's Day ad.

 

Can you tell me the = name of the song used for the ad and also the

name of the = artist?

(the thank you = one)

 

I would like to = purchase the song if it has been released.

 

Hope you can = help.

 

Regards<= /font>

 

Heather<= /font>

 

back = to top

Dad's = Prayer

 

 

Dear God

 

Help me climb the
mountain of manhood.

Help me find others that I can learn from,

and who have
climbed before me.

Help me stay connected to the ones above and below = me.

Help me rest occasionally
and enjoy the view.

Oh, and one other thing

How high is this mountain?

back = to top

Help Us

Click here for more information about us

Help Us!

The Fatherhood Foundation is a Harm Prevention Charity. =
Fatherlessness and inadequate fathering has been proven to be = a source of harm.

The Fatherhood Foundation helps children by promoting excellence  in fathering. Excellent fathers are in word and = deed: responsible, involved, protective, loving and committed to the = well-being of their children and their children's = mother.

If you would like to give financially to the Fatherhood Foundation Public Fund and receive tax = deductibility:

Fatherhood Foundation Public = Fund
(Name, address and amount details must be emailed for a receipt for = tax deductibility)
Westpac Branch Wollongong
BSB: 032 695
A/C: 25-5558

Or mail cheque and address details to:
PO Box 440
WOLLONGONG  NSW  2520
AUSTRALIA

The Fatherhood Foundation Public Fund  is a public = fund listed on the Register of Harm Prevention Charities under = Subdivision 30_EA of the Income Tax Assessment Act 1997.

You have received the fathersonline.org newsletter = because you have subscribed, or you have been subscribed by a friend.  = If you do not wish to receive future emails, please click the UNSUBSCRIBE = button below or send an email to info@fathersonline.org with the word UNSUBSCRIBE in the subject = heading.

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