X-Symantec-TimeoutProtection: 0 Return-Path: X-Original-To: info@ausheart.com.au Delivered-To: info@ausheart.com.au Received: from localhost (marlin.fishinternet.com.au [127.0.0.1]) by marlin.fishinternet.com.au (Postfix) with ESMTP id B5B1516BB7 for ; Sun, 6 May 2007 10:20:49 +1000 (EST) Received: from marlin.fishinternet.com.au ([127.0.0.1]) by localhost (marlin.fishinternet.com.au [127.0.0.1]) (amavisd-new, port 10024) with ESMTP id 16800-04 for ; Sun, 6 May 2007 10:20:35 +1000 (EST) Received-SPF: none (fathersonline.org: No applicable sender policy available) receiver=marlin.fishinternet.com.au; identity=mfrom; envelope-from="info@fathersonline.org"; helo=servervs1.bosweb.local; client-ip=150.101.126.110 Received: from servervs1.bosweb.local (eth3951.nsw.adsl.internode.on.net [150.101.126.110]) by marlin.fishinternet.com.au (Postfix) with ESMTP id 9F4592BBE4 for ; Sun, 6 May 2007 10:20:33 +1000 (EST) Received: from servervs1 ([127.0.0.1]) by servervs1.bosweb.local with Microsoft SMTPSVC(6.0.3790.3959); Sun, 6 May 2007 08:52:09 +1000 Thread-Topic: Mothers Day Special Reply-To: Message-ID: <2126EDFA46D04CB3879195EC4F9BCE42@bosweb.local> thread-index: AcePaAL7Cn5/vEpzT8iEOajQLs8pJg== From: To: Subject: Mothers Day Special Date: Sun, 6 May 2007 08:52:09 +1000 MIME-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: multipart/alternative; boundary="----=_NextPart_000_2977_01C78FBB.D4A8D840" X-Mailer: Microsoft CDO for Windows 2000 Content-Class: urn:content-classes:message Importance: normal Priority: normal X-MimeOLE: Produced By Microsoft MimeOLE V6.00.3790.3959 X-OriginalArrivalTime: 05 May 2007 22:52:09.0304 (UTC) FILETIME=[02FFD580:01C78F68] X-Virus-Scanned: amavisd-new at fishinternet.com.au X-NAS-BWL: Found match for 'info@fathersonline.org' on the allowed list (2342 addresses, 0 domains) X-NAS-Classification: 0 X-NAS-MessageID: 12287 X-NAS-Validation: {FF825B7A-B161-40BD-90F8-3582DAE91A1E} This is a multi-part message in MIME format. ------=_NextPart_000_2977_01C78FBB.D4A8D840 Content-Type: text/plain; charset="iso-8859-1" Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit Unable to read this email? Please click here Issue 246 - 7th May, 2007 Go to our website Here * Hello Friend * Grandads * Laughter * Single Dads * Special Feature * Thought of the Week * All You Need is Love * News & Info * Dad's Prayer * Help Us Hello Friend Mother's Day is almost upon us. The question is not as John F Kennedy said, 'It's not what your country can do for you but what you can do for your country.' We at the Fatherhood Foundation are responding to Mother's Day by running three Community Service Announcements for Mother's Day to encourage everyone in Australia to appreciate their mother this Mother's Day. I know a young man who is almost 21 years of age and has a wonderful mum, so I asked him to write a short song for his mother to express his appreciation. The song is simple but cuts to the heart of the matter. The words go like this: For all the time you've given me For all the love over the years, So you know what you mean to me I just want to say, 'Thank you'. So you know that you're dear to me I just want to say, 'Thank you'. Check out the three adverts which also include an interview with the family who sang and wrote this short song for the Fatherhood Foundation's Mother's Day Campaign at: http://www.fatherhood.org.au/mothers_tvRadio.html The young man on that interview, and who wrote the above song, responded to the question, "What does your mum mean to you?" with: "Through time and time again her example of never quitting and enduring through hard times has given me a stepping stone into my life and a foundation of what to build on for my future." They say that 'the hand that rocks the cradle rules the world'. When you look at the above statement you begin to realise the truth of it. Sadly we have a government economic system that seems so keen to chase women out of the home and back into the workforce and insistent that both parents should be at work and placing their children in childcare. The best child carer in the world can never replace the love of a mother or father. Robert Lewis, the founder of 'Men's Fraternity' says, "In twenty years time, not only will we have a society that is suffering a father-wound but we will also have a society that will be suffering a mother-wound." Motherhood has been devalued and in the process our children have been disregarded. Many times our children are pushed into long day care at a very young age because both mum and dad are working long hours just trying to get ahead. Our children may have more possessions but a lot less contact with mum and dad, and that is never a good thing. The greatest man that ever lived said, 'A man's life does not consist in the abundance of possessions.' That goes for our children too. How are we going to change this? What can you and I do about the devaluation of motherhood? Simple really! We as fathers must follow the golden rule of fatherhood. 'The greatest thing we can do for our children is to love our children's mother.' True change can then come, one mother and one family at a time. In 2003 the Fatherhood Foundation challenged the fathers of Australia to buy a Father's Day gift for the mother of their children. I bought my wife her very own, first mobile phone (she still uses it - must be time for a new one!). This touched her deeply because by doing this I was saying: you are my equal, you are important, you are unique and yes, you have your own mobile number. She was tickled pink and walked taller and stronger because of this simple and practical gift. I kicked myself for not having done it before. I don't know about you but I am a bit slow on the draw sometimes. This Mother's Day make sure you aren't slow on the draw. Lovework Make sure you honour your own mother as well as your children's mother this Mother's Day. Fathers must be leaders in the restoration of motherhood. It starts with a simple thank you and must be backed up with a lifetime of love. Yours for a great Mother's Day Warwick Marsh PS Some good news. We have started to renew our website at www.fatherhood.org.au and bring it fully up to speed. Our goal is to build the best and most comprehensive, interactive, resource-rich, fatherhood website in the world. A tall order with little money, but there's nothing like a challenge is there?? We should have our website finalised some time over the next few months as more funds become available, which brings me to my next point: If you wish to make a Tax Deductible donation it would be more than appreciated at this present moment. Please go to the 'Help Us' section. You can help us do the impossible, and together we just might pull it off. Our children deserve the best dads in the world. ___________________________________________________________ Warwick Marsh has been married to Alison for 31 years. He is the father of five children, four boys and one girl, ranging in age from 26 years to 14 years. Warwick is a musician, songwriter, producer and public speaker who likes to think he can still laugh at himself. back to top Grandads Children desperately need to know - and to hear in ways they understand and remember - that they're loved and valued by mum & dad. Gary Smalley & Paul Trent back to top Laughter back to top Single Dads In approximately 8 weeks, at the end of June, dads in distress will come to an end. To date dids has not had any success in securing Government funding to continue with this lifesaving work. A few emails and guest book posts from dids website are included below. They are just an example of what they receive day in day out. Tony Miller writes: Our 1300 number and mobiles ring incessantly. Broken dads continue to stream into our group meetings all over the country. Our website forum is inundated; our website received over 5 million hits last year. We actually received an award for it. All this is administered on a minimal budget with a handful of volunteers. Lifesavers in the true meaning of the word. What do I tell the bloke who rings up with a gun stuck in his ear because he hasn't seen his kids in 4 years or the second wife who is battling to keep her new marriage together with one hand and holding up her husband who is battling depression from not seeing his kids from his previous marriage with the other? On top of that they are trying to pay child support while keeping bread on the table for their new family. What do I say to the grandmum who has lost her son to suicide through a relationship breakdown and 4 years down the track is still being denied contact with her grandkids? What do I say to the 19 year old who hasn't seen her father since age 6 and now wants to seek him out? What do I say to the mum who wants dad to become more involved with his kids then he is? What do I say to the bloke who has given up on life because he feels he has lost everything? What do I say to the multitudes who are still struggling through the minefield of Family Court, Family Relationship Centres, and CSA etc? There is nothing I can say because I won't be here........... We operate a community based peer support program. The blokes we have as facilitators have been through the tragedy and the trauma of divorce and have come out the other end ALIVE. They know the pain, hurt, sorrow, bitterness and depression associated with it. They have all been through it and have come out of it and are moving forward. And they are passing on that knowledge to others less fortunate. The most dramatic life changes often occur through initiatives such as Alcoholics Anonymous, Narcotics Anonymous, Weight Watchers, etc, where there are multiple people invested in your success and to whom you feel accountable. It makes sense to apply the same principles that have been so successful in dealing with self-destructive habits in the dads in distress peer support model which engages men in creating their own self-guided community for personal growth. That's what it's about, a community of dads which in the end benefits our children. I am running out of time. Dads in distress run a suicide intervention training conference every year here in Coffs Harbour where we train around 40-50 volunteers in suicide intervention. These blokes go back out to your areas and become lifesavers. I cannot organise this years training because I don't know if we will have any funds to do it. We have many communities asking us to open new dids groups but again we don't know if we are going to be here to support them. If you feel dads in distress is a valuable asset to the community perhaps you can email your local MP or The Hon Mal Brough MP Mal.Brough.MP@aph.gov.au and ask him politely please, in your own words, to find that elusive funding box we are supposed to fit in. Regards Tony Miller dids Inc www.dadsindistress.asn.au ________________________ Tony, Thank you so much for all the work you are doing to help dads in distress because it has been ignored for too long. The country should be outraged at the treatment men receive at the hands of the family court and disgruntled ex-wives. My husband has not been able to see his only son for two years due to the bitterness of his ex-wife. She left the city in which they lived without telling him and when we finally made contact via mobile phone asking to see him she taunted him with. "You'll have to find us first". We have finally found them but she refuses all attempts for my husband to make contact with him. Sometimes I look at my husband and see a huge sadness...I don't need to ask him what's wrong; I know what it is...He is missing his son... My heart breaks for him. He is the most amazing stepparent to my four kids (my husband passed away) the only thing missing is his son. _____________________________ Just found the site. Sorry to hear you are having financial difficulties. This site needs to be funded by the government. They do a lot for the female side of separations but not a lot for the male. It has taken me a long time to find this site as no one in a govt dept could tell me of a support group for DADS. The site has a lot of useful information. I am not suicidal but I can imagine many dads could become so given stress I am going through. Don't want to be depressive. KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK _________________________ Last September my wife of 23 years told me that she wanted to separate, we would sell the house and "work out our problems" afterwards. I am very domesticated and quite often cooked, cleaned, did sewing for the kids etc and had a good job providing an excellent income. Five days later she told our 2 kids, 14 & 11, "your father and I have decided to separate, we are selling the house and you two are coming with me". The kids were absolutely devastated. Due to the mortgage payments and other bills I was unable to afford to move out until we sold the house. For five months I endured the no talking, the x going out with her 'friends' and expecting me to be there to baby sit, no meals, no food. I advised my x that I would be moving out at the end of Feb, as we had sold the house. She advised she would move the week before settlement. My daughter, now 15, told me that she wanted to move in with me as she felt that we had much more in common and that her mother had always treated her differently from her brother. When I told the x this she went berserk. My x decided to move out a week before I did, I came home and she had cleaned the place out, she left us our beds. She took everything else; all the food out of the cupboards, the lot, and my daughter came home from school and just cried knowing what her mother had done. I have not seen my son now for 3 weeks; I am denied any contact whatsoever. What can I do? I am getting desperate. ________________________________ Eleven men gathered together in a community house in Frankston on Wednesday night. All from different backgrounds but all ready and willing to share whatever was going on inside. After hearing an interview on ABC radio Wednesday morning my emotions began to race within me. Could I really make a difference? Questions like 'How could I help?' and 'Where?' jumped inside me. Then the number was given and through tears I frantically tried to find the nearest pen (I was driving) and wrote down the number. I was definitely stirred as I began to revisit old feelings. I contacted the number without any thought that tonight I could be a part of the solution. Had a great night and learned so much. _________________________________ Hi, I have read some stories and know exactly how you all feel. I have a 3 year old son to my ex who is making things really difficult. I feel like I am powerless and all I do is receive bills from CSA telling me I have to pay money to her. I have no say in my sons life and am constantly being told whether I can see him or not, and where and when I have to have him back by. All I really want is to be an equal part of his life, as my partner and I are trying to get on with our life together, but have these problems of money and how much time we get with my son. We own a house together, and are only now starting to live normally after having to consolidate all our debts. It seems there is no incentive for me to earn more money because the more I get, the more she gets in child support. I have just recently been promoted at my job and it is extremely unfair that she will benefit from this. Of course I will be spending more on my son now that I am earning more, but to have to pay it directly to his mother under the disguise of CSA is ridiculous. Can anyone give me any advice on how to come up with a workable, affordable and realistic solution to this? I am dealing with an extremely difficult person who is forgetting about her son and focussing on making it as hard as possible for me. Any advice would be much appreciated. back to top Special Feature POSITION : Mother, Mum, Mama, Mummy, Ma JOB DESCRIPTION: Long term, team players needed, for challenging permanent work in an, often chaotic environment. Candidates must possess excellent communication and organizational skills and be willing to work variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends and frequent 24 hour shifts on call. Some overnight travel required, including trips to primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and endless sports tournaments in far away cities. Travel expenses not reimbursed. Extensive courier duties also required. RESPONSIBILITIES: The rest of your life. Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily, until someone needs $5. Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly. Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat in case, this time, the screams from the backyard are not someone just crying wolf. Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, such as small gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets and stuck zippers. Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and coordinate production of multiple homework projects. Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks. Must be willing to be indispensable one minute, an embarrassment the next. Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices. Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst. Must assume final, complete accountability for the quality of the end product. Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and janitorial work throughout the facility. POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION: Virtually none. Your job is to remain in the same position for years, without complaining, constantly retraining and updating your skills, so that those in your charge can ultimately surpass you PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE: None required unfortunately. On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis. WAGES AND COMPENSATION: Get this! You pay them! Offering frequent raises and bonuses. A balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because of the assumption that college will help them become financially independent. When you die, you give them whatever is left. The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more. BENEFITS: While no health or dental insurance, no pension, no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and no stock options are offered; this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth and free hugs for life. Forward this on to all the Mums you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis, and let them know they are appreciated back to top Thought of the Week Fathers must be leaders in the restoration of motherhood. It starts with a simple thank you and must be backed up with a lifetime of love. Warwick Marsh back to top All You Need is Love In the End, Love Prevails The Washington Post By Abigail Trafford April 24, 2007 "Long-lasting love grows. Even unhappy couples get happier if they manage to stay together," says Laura L. Carstensen, director of the Longevity Centre at Stanford University. "Young people say, 'I don't want to settle. . . .' . An ongoing study of 156 couples at the University of California at Berkeley suggests that older people are better at resolving problems and keeping the flame of attachment alive than younger Romeos and Juliets. Many couples experience a renaissance once they are no longer focused on raising children and getting ahead in the workplace. "Older couples develop an ability to use positive emotions like affection more effectively, to calm themselves down, to negotiate conflict and to regulate emotions when they get into areas of disagreement," says Berkeley psychologist Robert W. Levenson, who conducted the study with Carstensen and John M. G ottman of the University of Washington... We may not be able to run as fast or hear as well, but we're better at what matters most: love. It was late afternoon. Nell Hamm, 65, and her husband, Jim, 70, were finishing up their 10-mile hike in California's Prairie Creek Redwoods State Park when a mountain lion attacked. The cat had her husband's head in its jaws as it dragged him to the ground. Nell screamed at the beast; she grabbed a log and started beating it on its back; then she slammed the end of the log into the animal's snout. Stunned and bleeding, the lion let Jim go and drifted away. "We love each other very much. We've been together for 50 years," Nell said in media interviews. "We were fighting for his life, and we fought together like we've done with everything." Ah, love! Ah, 50-year love! As a woman who knows the pain of divorce, I look wistfully at the Hamms as a romantic icon of long-lasting marriage. Thanks to his wife, Jim Hamm survived the attack, which occurred earlier this year. It's not easy to fight the good fight "together like we've done with everything." Aging poses new challenges for marriage. As the decades go by, the children grow up, the wrinkles get deeper and the libido weaker, will you really be there for better or for worse? How will you fight when the lion attacks -- whether the assault comes in a diagnosis of cancer, the loss of a job or a problem with a grandchild? As the Beatles put it for a whole generation that now has grey hair: "Will you still need me, will you still feed me, when I'm 64?" For the Hamms, the answer is an obvious yes -- and it turns out that they are not alone. To be sure, "living happily ever after" is more of a fairy tale sentiment than a reality of modern marriage -- after all, nearly half of wedding ceremonies are followed by a divorce procedure. But research is showing that for those who stay in marriages, the best indeed is yet to be. Relationships tend to get better with age; older couples are happier and more satisfied than younger couples. "Long-lasting love grows. Even unhappy couples get happier if they manage to stay together," says Laura L. Carstensen, director of the Longevity Centre at Stanford University. "Young people say, 'I don't want to settle. . . .' Settling is exactly what we need to do." Most studies of marriage focus on young couples and child-rearing. But researchers are beginning to investigate later-life marriage, and they are discovering the advantage of age in love. An ongoing study of 156 couples at the University of California at Berkeley suggests that older people are better at resolving problems and keeping the flame of attachment alive than younger Romeos and Juliets. Many couples experience a renaissance once they are no longer focused on raising children and getting ahead in the workplace. In this study, couples were divided between those 40 to 50 years old and those 60 to 70. The older couples had been married at least 35 years; the younger ones at least 15 years. Most were white, well-educated and upper-middle-class, reflecting the demographics of the university community of Berkeley. Researchers measured levels of satisfaction of both spouses in areas of potential conflict such as money, children, sex and religion, as well as in areas of pleasure such as spending time with children and grandchildren, socializing with friends and taking vacations. A preliminary snapshot of the responses showed that, 'old marriages have reduced potential for conflict and greater potential for pleasure', the initial report concluded in 1993. . . . 2007 Copyright The Washington Post For further information about marriage subscribe at: www.smartmarriages.com.au back to top News & Info The Manshine 2007 Men's Gathering is upon us. Held over the May Day long weekend (4th-7th May) at the Ewen Maddock Dam near Landsborough (behind the Sunshine Coast), this year's event promises to live up to its reputation as one of the premier men's gatherings in the region. Now in its 15th year, Manshine is well organised, professionally run, and rich with opportunities for men to replenish their masculine essence in a relaxed, safe and supportive way. In these busy times, many men tell themselves the story that they don't have the time to look after themselves, as we are too busy looking after business or tending to the needs of those we love. Consider that it may also be true that the best way to deal with a full life is to take a few days off to stand back, to reflect and to replenish. With our batteries recharged, we can approach life with a renewed vigour, and perhaps break through some old barriers that have kept us spinning our wheels where we should have been zooming down the freeway of life. Come along and check it out. It may be the best thing you ever did for yourself. * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * Gordon Dalbeys Sons of the Father Conferences NSW Conference 1: Sons of the Father at Gilbulla (Live-in conference) Date: 22-24 July 2007 (Limited places remaining) Location: Ellel Ministries centre Gilbulla 710 Moreton Park Road, Menangle, (near Campbelltown). Conference 2: Sons of the Fatherat Petersham Date: 30 June 1 July 2007 (Whole day Saturday & Sunday afternoon) Location: Petersham Assembly of God church 93 Audley St, Petersham, Sydney. To Register: Registrations for either event can be made by contacting Ellel Ministries Phone: 02-46338102 Email: info@ellel.org.au www.ellel.org.au Queensland Event: Sons of the Father at Somerset Dam (Live-in conference) Date: 13-15 July 2007 Location: Camp Somerset, Stanley Pocket Rd, via Esk, Queensland To Register: Phone: Men Transforming Men on 07-3876 8710 mtm.aust@bigpond.net.com www.mtmaustralia.org.au * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * MEN, LOVE, SEX & MARRIAGE A Fresh Look at Male Sexuality Saturday 16th June 2007 - 9am til 4:30pm A workshop for men with Noel Giblett Resources and Reflections on Manhood and masculinities Love: its joys and sorrows Sexuality: its delights and dark sides Marriage: fantasies and realities Venue: Workspace Unlimited Rear 139 Claremont Crescent, Swanbourne cnr. Franklin Street (near Swanbourne train station) Cost: Early Bloke registration (received before 1st June) $80 Last Minute Man registration (after 1st June) $100 Enquiries: Noel 0431 848 835 or noel@noelgiblett.com.au * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * Plan to train stay-at-home mums From July 1, more than 75,000 single parents with school children will be forced to look for work as part of the Government's welfare-to-work program. The budget on Tuesday will unveil more : http://www.news.com.au/story/0,23599,21675840-2,00.html ________________________________________________________ Dear Fatherhood Foundation Just wondering when the next good to be great course will be running (locally) Cheers Josh Editor's Note: There will be a Good to Great in Randwick commencing 5th September 07 For bookings please phone 9399 5959 or 4272 6677. If there is enough interest, a Good to Great will also be run in Wollongong commencing in September 07. Contact Warwick on 4272 6677 to register your interest or email info@fatherhood.org.au * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * Dear Fatherhood Foundation Greetings from New England, USA in the springtime ... Thanks for the 'men's group' prompting: I've been meeting with a group for about a decade; we call it: "Iron Sharpens Iron" ... Like you, it is a highlight of my week .... All the best Mark back to top Dad's Prayer Dear God Mothers are a gift from heaven to a world that needs nurturing. Fathers are a gift from heaven in a world that needs direction. Help me understand that without nurturing we will never have direction, And without direction we will never have nurturing. Help me understand the mystery of the partnership and the complementarity that a man and woman bring to each other and to their children. Help me live out this truth in the furnace of marriage. Help me understand that true love comes at a cost. It seems that many mothers have known this for quite some time. back to top Help Us Click here for more information about us Help Us! The Fatherhood Foundation is a Harm Prevention Charity. Fatherlessness and inadequate fathering has been proven to be a source of harm. The Fatherhood Foundation helps children by promoting excellence in fathering. Excellent fathers are in word and deed: responsible, involved, protective, loving and committed to the well-being of their children and their children's mother. If you would like to give financially to the Fatherhood Foundation Public Fund and receive tax deductibility: Fatherhood Foundation Public Fund (Name, address and amount details must be emailed for a receipt for tax deductibility) Westpac Branch Wollongong BSB: 032 695 A/C: 25-5558 Or mail cheque and address details to: PO Box 440 WOLLONGONG NSW 2520 AUSTRALIA The Fatherhood Foundation Public Fund is a public fund listed on the Register of Harm Prevention Charities under Subdivision 30_EA of the Income Tax Assessment Act 1997. You have received the fathersonline.org newsletter because you have subscribed, or you have been subscribed by a friend. If you do not wish to receive future emails, please click the UNSUBSCRIBE button below or send an email to info@fathersonline.org with the word UNSUBSCRIBE in the subject heading. back to top Click Here to Unsubscribe ------=_NextPart_000_2977_01C78FBB.D4A8D840 Content-Type: text/html; charset="iso-8859-1" Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit Fatherhood Foundation
Unable to read this email? Please click here
Issue 246 - 7th May, 2007 Go to our website Here


Hello Friend

 

 

Mother's Day is almost upon us. The question is not as John F Kennedy said, 'It's not what your country can do for you but what you can do for your country.' We at the Fatherhood Foundation are responding to Mother's Day by running three Community Service Announcements for Mother's Day to encourage everyone in Australia to appreciate their mother this Mother's Day. I know a young man who is almost 21 years of age and has a wonderful mum, so I asked him to write a short song for his mother to express his appreciation.

 

The song is simple but cuts to the heart of the matter. The words go like this:

 

For all the time you've given me

For all the love over the years,

So you know what you mean to me

I just want to say, 'Thank you'.

So you know that you're dear to me

I just want to say, 'Thank you'.

 

Check out the three adverts which also include an interview with the family who sang and wrote this short song for the Fatherhood Foundation's Mother's Day Campaign at: http://www.fatherhood.org.au/mothers_tvRadio.html 

 The young man on that interview, and who wrote the above song, responded to the question, "What does your mum mean to you?" with:

 

"Through time and time again her example of never quitting and enduring through hard times has given me a stepping stone into my life and a foundation of what to build on for my future."

 

They say that 'the hand that rocks the cradle rules the world'. When you look at the above statement you begin to realise the truth of it. Sadly we have a government economic system that seems so keen to chase women out of the home and back into the workforce and insistent that both parents should be at work and placing their children in childcare. The best child carer in the world can never replace the love of a mother or father.

 

Robert Lewis, the founder of 'Men's Fraternity' says, "In twenty years time, not only will we have a society that is suffering a father-wound but we will also have a society that will be suffering a mother-wound." Motherhood has been devalued and in the process our children  have been disregarded. Many times our children are pushed into long day care at a very young age because both mum and dad are working long hours just trying to get ahead. Our children may have more possessions but a lot less contact with mum and dad, and that is never a good thing. The greatest man that ever lived said, 'A man's life does not consist in the abundance of possessions.' That goes for our children too. How are we going to change this? What can you and I do about the devaluation of motherhood?

 

Simple really! We as fathers must follow the golden rule of fatherhood. 'The greatest thing we can do for our children is to love our children's mother.' True change can then come, one mother and one family at a time.

 

In 2003 the Fatherhood Foundation challenged the fathers of Australia to buy a Father's Day gift for the mother of their children. I bought my wife her very own, first mobile phone (she still uses it - must be time for a new one!). This touched her deeply because by doing this I was saying: you are my equal, you are important, you are unique and yes, you have your own mobile number. She was tickled pink and walked taller and stronger because of this simple and practical gift. I kicked myself for not having done it before. I don't know about you but I am a bit slow on the draw sometimes. This Mother's Day make sure you aren't slow on the draw.

 

Lovework

 

Make sure you honour your own mother as well as your children's mother this Mother's Day.

 

Fathers must be leaders in the restoration of motherhood. It starts with a simple thank you and must be backed up with a lifetime of love.

 

Yours for a great Mother's Day

Warwick Marsh

 

PS Some good news. We have started to renew our website at www.fatherhood.org.au  and bring it fully up to speed. Our goal is to build the best and most comprehensive, interactive, resource-rich, fatherhood website in the world. A tall order with little money, but there's nothing like a challenge is there??

 

We should have our website finalised some time over the next few months as more funds become available, which brings me to my next point:

 

If you wish to make a Tax Deductible donation it would be more than appreciated at this present moment.  Please go to the 'Help Us' section. You can help us do the impossible, and together we just might pull it off. Our children deserve the best dads in the world.

 ___________________________________________________________

Warwick Marsh  has been married to Alison for 31 years. He is the father of five children, four boys and one girl, ranging in age from 26 years to 14 years.  Warwick is a musician, songwriter, producer and public speaker who likes to think he can still laugh at himself.

back to top

Grandads

 

 

Children desperately need to know

 - and to hear in ways they understand and remember -

that they're loved and valued by mum & dad.

 

Gary Smalley & Paul Trent

 

 

back to top

Laughter

 

 

 

 

 

back to top

Single Dads

 

In approximately 8 weeks, at the end of June, dads in distress will come to an end. To date dids has not had any success in securing Government funding to continue with this lifesaving work.

 

A few emails and guest book posts from dids website are included below. They are just an example of what they receive day in day out.

 

Tony Miller writes:

 

Our 1300 number and mobiles ring incessantly. Broken dads continue to stream into our group meetings all over the country. Our website forum is inundated; our website received over 5 million hits last year. We actually received an award for it. All this is administered on a minimal budget with a handful of volunteers. Lifesavers in the true meaning of the word. 

 

What do I tell the bloke who rings up with a gun stuck in his ear because he hasn't seen his kids in 4 years or the second wife who is battling to keep her new marriage together with one hand and holding up her husband who is battling depression from not seeing his kids from his previous marriage with the other? On top of that they are trying to pay child support while keeping bread on the table for their new family. What do I say to the grandmum who has lost her son to suicide through a relationship breakdown and 4 years down the track is still being denied contact with her grandkids? What do I say to the 19 year old who hasn't seen her father since age 6 and now wants to seek him out? What do I say to the mum who wants dad to become more involved with his kids then he is? What do I say to the bloke who has given up on life because he feels he has lost everything? What do I say to the multitudes who are still struggling through the minefield of Family Court, Family Relationship Centres, and CSA etc? There is nothing I can say because I won't be here...........

 

We operate a community based peer support program. The blokes we have as facilitators have been through the tragedy and the trauma of divorce and have come out the other end ALIVE. They know the pain, hurt, sorrow, bitterness and depression associated with it. They have all been through it and have come out of it and are moving forward. And they are passing on that knowledge to others less fortunate. The most dramatic life changes often occur through initiatives such as Alcoholics Anonymous, Narcotics Anonymous, Weight Watchers, etc, where there are multiple people invested in your success and to whom you feel accountable. It makes sense to apply the same principles that have been so successful in dealing with self-destructive habits in the dads in distress peer support model which engages men in creating their own self-guided community for personal growth. That's what it's abou t, a community of dads which in the end benefits our children.

 

I am running out of time. Dads in distress run a suicide intervention training conference every year here in Coffs Harbour where we train around 40-50 volunteers in suicide intervention. These blokes go back out to your areas and become lifesavers. I cannot organise this years training because I don't know if we will have any funds to do it. We have many communities asking us to open new dids groups but again we don't know if we are going to be here to support them.

 

 If you feel dads in distress is a valuable asset to the community perhaps you can email  your local MP or The Hon Mal Brough MP  Mal.Brough.MP@aph.gov.au and ask him politely please, in your own words, to find that elusive funding box we are supposed to fit in.

 

Regards Tony Miller dids Inc

www.dadsindistress.asn.au

________________________

 

Tony, Thank you so much for all the work you are doing to help dads in distress because it has been ignored for too long. The country should be outraged at the treatment men receive at the hands of the family court and disgruntled ex-wives. My husband has not been able to see his only son for two years due to the bitterness of his ex-wife. She left the city in which they lived without telling him and when we finally made contact via mobile phone asking to see him she taunted him with. "You'll have to find us first". We have finally found them but she refuses all attempts for my husband to make contact with him. Sometimes I look at my husband and see a huge sadness...I don't need to ask him what's wrong; I know what it is...He is missing his son... My heart breaks for him. He is the most amazing stepparent to my four kids (my husband passed away) the only thing missing is his son .

_____________________________

 

 Just found the site. Sorry to hear you are having financial difficulties. This site needs to be funded by the government. They do a lot for the female side of separations but not a lot for the male. It has taken me a long time to find this site as no one in a govt dept could tell me of a support group for DADS. The site has a lot of useful information. I am not suicidal but I can imagine many dads could become so given stress I am going through. Don't want to be depressive.

 

KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK

_________________________

 

 Last September my wife of 23 years told me that she wanted to separate, we would sell the house and "work out our problems" afterwards. I am very domesticated and quite often cooked, cleaned, did sewing for the kids etc and had a good job providing an excellent income. Five days later she told our 2 kids, 14 & 11, "your father and I have decided to separate, we are selling the house and you two are coming with me". The kids were absolutely devastated. Due to the mortgage payments and other bills I was unable to afford to move out until we sold the house. For five months I endured the no talking, the x going out with her 'friends' and expecting me to be there to baby sit, no meals, no food. I advised my x that I would be moving out at the end of Feb, as we had sold the house. She advised she would move the week before settlement. M y daughter, now 15, told me that she wanted to move in with me as she felt that we had much more in common and that her mother had always treated her differently from her brother. When I told the x this she went berserk. My x decided to move out a week before I did, I came home and she had cleaned the place out, she left us our beds. She took everything else; all the food out of the cupboards, the lot, and my daughter came home from school and just cried knowing what her mother had done. I have not seen my son now for 3 weeks; I am denied any contact whatsoever. What can I do? I am getting desperate.

________________________________

 

Eleven men gathered together in a community house in Frankston on Wednesday night. All from different backgrounds but all ready and willing to share whatever was going on inside. After hearing an interview on ABC radio Wednesday morning my emotions began to race within me. Could I really make a difference? Questions like 'How could I help?' and 'Where?' jumped inside me. Then the number was given and through tears I frantically tried to find the nearest pen (I was driving) and wrote down the number. I was definitely stirred as I began to revisit old feelings. I contacted the number without any thought that tonight I could be a part of the solution. Had a great night and learned so much.

 

_________________________________

 

Hi, I have read some stories and know exactly how you all feel.  I have a 3 year old son to my ex who is making things really difficult.  I feel like I am powerless and all I do is receive bills from CSA telling me I have to pay money to her.  I have no say in my sons life and am constantly being told whether I can see him or not, and where and when I have to have him back by. All I really want is to be an equal part of his life, as my partner and I are trying to get on with our life together, but have these problems of money and how much time we get with my son.  We own a house together, and are only now starting to live normally after having to consolidate all our debts. It seems there is no incentive fo r me to earn more money because the more I get, the more she gets in child support.  I have just recently been promoted at my job and it is extremely unfair that she will benefit from this.  Of course I will be spending more on my son now that I am earning more, but to have to pay it directly to his mother under the disguise of CSA is ridiculous.  Can anyone give me any advice on how to come up with a workable, affordable and realistic solution to this?  I am dealing with an extremely difficult person who is forgetting about her son and focussing on making it as hard as possible for me.  Any advice would be much appreciated.

back to top

Special Feature

 

POSITION :

Mother, Mum, Mama, Mummy, Ma

 

JOB DESCRIPTION:

Long term, team players needed, for challenging permanent work in an, often chaotic environment. Candidates must possess excellent communication and organizational skills and be willing to work variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends and frequent 24 hour shifts on call. Some overnight travel required, including trips to primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and endless sports tournaments in far away cities. Travel expenses not reimbursed. Extensive courier duties also required.

 

RESPONSIBILITIES:

The rest of your life. Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily, until someone needs $5. Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly. Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat in case, this time, the screams from the backyard are not someone just crying wolf. Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, such as small gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets and stuck zippers. Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and coordinate production of multiple homework projects. Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks. Must be willing to be indispensable one minute, an embarrassment the next. Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices. Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst. Must assume final, complete accountability for the quality of the end product. Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and janitorial work throughout the facility.

 

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:

Virtually none. Your job is to remain in the same position for years, without complaining, constantly retraining and updating your skills, so that those in your charge can ultimately surpass you

 

PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:

None required unfortunately. On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

 

 

 

 

WAGES AND COMPENSATION:

Get this! You pay them! Offering frequent raises and bonuses. A balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because of the assumption that college will help them become financially independent. When you die, you give them whatever is left. The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

 

BENEFITS:

While no health or dental insurance, no pension, no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and no stock options are offered; this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth and free hugs for life.

 

Forward this on to all the Mums you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis, and let them know they are appreciated

back to top

Thought of the Week

 

Fathers must be leaders in

the restoration of motherhood.

It starts with a simple thank you

and must be backed up

with a lifetime of love.

 

Warwick Marsh

 

back to top

All You Need is Love

   

In the End, Love Prevails

The Washington Post

By Abigail Trafford

April 24, 2007

 

"Long-lasting love grows. Even unhappy couples get happier if they manage to stay together," says Laura L. Carstensen, director of the Longevity Centre at Stanford University. "Young people say, 'I don't want to settle. . . .' .

 

An ongoing study of 156 couples at the University of California at Berkeley suggests that older people are better at resolving problems and keeping the flame of attachment alive than younger Romeos and Juliets. Many couples experience a renaissance once they are no longer focused on raising children and getting ahead in the workplace.

 

"Older couples develop an ability to use positive emotions like affection more effectively, to calm themselves down, to negotiate conflict and to regulate emotions when they get into areas of disagreement," says Berkeley psychologist Robert W. Levenson, who conducted the study with Carstensen and John M. Gottman of the University of Washington...

 

We may not be able to run as fast or hear as well, but we're better at what matters most: love.

 

It was late afternoon. Nell Hamm, 65, and her husband, Jim, 70, were finishing up their 10-mile hike in California's Prairie Creek Redwoods State Park when a mountain lion attacked. The cat had her husband's head in its jaws as it dragged him to the ground. Nell screamed at the beast; she grabbed a log and started beating it on its back; then she slammed the end of the log into the animal's snout. Stunned and bleeding, the lion let Jim go and drifted away.

 

"We love each other very much. We've been together for 50 years," Nell said in media interviews. "We were fighting for his life, and we fought together like we've done with everything." Ah, love! Ah, 50-year love! As a woman who knows the pain of divorce, I look wistfully at the Hamms as a romantic icon of long-lasting marriage. Thanks to his wife, Jim Hamm survived the attack, which occurred earlier this year.

 

It's not easy to fight the good fight "together like we've done with everything." Aging poses new challenges for marriage. As the decades go by, the children grow up, the wrinkles get deeper and the libido weaker, will you really be there for better or for worse? How will you fight when the lion attacks -- whether the assault comes in a diagnosis of cancer, the loss of a job or a problem with a grandchild?

 

As the Beatles put it for a whole generation that now has grey hair: "Will you still need me, will you still feed me, when I'm 64?"

 

For the Hamms, the answer is an obvious yes -- and it turns out that they are not alone. To be sure, "living happily ever after" is more of a fairy tale sentiment than a reality of modern marriage -- after all, nearly half of wedding ceremonies are followed by a divorce procedure. But research is showing that for those who stay in marriages, the best indeed is yet to be. Relationships tend to get better with age; older couples are happier and more satisfied than younger couples.

 

"Long-lasting love grows. Even unhappy couples get happier if they manage to stay together," says Laura L. Carstensen, director of the Longevity Centre at Stanford University. "Young people say, 'I don't want to settle. . . .' Settling is exactly what we need to do."

 

Most studies of marriage focus on young couples and child-rearing. But researchers are beginning to investigate later-life marriage, and they are discovering the advantage of age in love. An ongoing study of 156 couples at the University of California at Berkeley suggests that older people are better at resolving problems and keeping the flame of attachment alive than younger Romeos and Juliets. Many couples experience a renaissance once they are no longer focused on raising children and getting ahead in the workplace.

 

In this study, couples were divided between those 40 to 50 years old and those 60 to 70. The older couples had been married at least 35 years; the younger ones at least 15 years. Most were white, well-educated and upper-middle-class, reflecting the demographics of the university community of Berkeley. Researchers measured levels of satisfaction of both spouses in areas of potential conflict such as money, children, sex and religion, as well as in areas of pleasure such as spending time with children and grandchildren, socializing with friends and taking vacations.

 

A preliminary snapshot of the responses showed that, 'old marriages have reduced potential for conflict and greater potential for pleasure', the initial report concluded in 1993. . . .

 

2007 Copyright The Washington Post

 

For further information about marriage subscribe at:

www.smartmarriages.com.au    

 

back to top

News & Info

 

 

 

The Manshine 2007 Men's Gathering is upon us.

Held over the May Day long weekend (4th-7th May) at the Ewen Maddock Dam near Landsborough (behind the Sunshine Coast), this year's event promises to live up to its reputation as one of the premier men's gatherings in the region.

Now in its 15th year, Manshine is well organised, professionally run, and rich with opportunities for men to replenish their masculine essence in a relaxed, safe and supportive way.

In these busy times, many men tell themselves the story that they don't have the time to look after themselves, as we are too busy looking after business or tending to the needs of those we love. Consider that it may also be true that the best way to deal with a full life is to take a few days off to stand back, to reflect and  to replenish. With our batteries recharged, we can approach life with a renewed vigour, and perhaps break through some old barriers that have kept us spinning our wheels where we should have been zooming down the freeway of life. Come along and check it out. It may be the best thing you ever did for yourself. 

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Gordon Dalbeys Sons of the Father Conferences

 

NSW

Conference 1: Sons of the Father at Gilbulla (Live-in conference)

Date:            22-24 July 2007 (Limited places remaining)

Location:       Ellel Ministries centre Gilbulla 710 Moreton Park Road, Menangle, (near Campbelltown).

 

Conference 2: Sons of the Fatherat Petersham

Date:            30 June 1 July 2007 (Whole day Saturday & Sunday afternoon)

Location:       Petersham Assembly of God church

                   93 Audley St, Petersham, Sydney.

To Register:   Registrations for either event can be made by contacting                                                 Ellel Ministries       Phone: 02-46338102

Email: info@ellel.org.au

www.ellel.org.au  

 

Queensland

Event:          Sons of the Father at Somerset Dam (Live-in conference)

Date:            13-15 July 2007

Location:       Camp Somerset, Stanley Pocket Rd, via Esk, Queensland

To Register:   Phone: Men Transforming Men on 07-3876 8710

 mtm.aust@bigpond.net.com

www.mtmaustralia.org.au

 

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

 

MEN, LOVE, SEX & MARRIAGE

A Fresh Look at Male Sexuality

Saturday 16th June 2007 - 9am til 4:30pm

 

A workshop for men with Noel Giblett

Resources and Reflections on Manhood and masculinities

 

Love: its joys and sorrows

Sexuality: its delights and dark sides

Marriage: fantasies and realities

 

Venue: Workspace Unlimited

Rear 139 Claremont Crescent, Swanbourne

cnr. Franklin Street (near Swanbourne train station)

Cost:  Early Bloke registration (received before 1st June) $80

          Last Minute Man registration (after 1st June) $100

Enquiries: Noel 0431 848 835 or noel@noelgiblett.com.au  

 

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

 

Plan to train stay-at-home mums

From July 1, more than 75,000 single parents with school children will be forced to look for work as part of the Government's welfare-to-work program.

The budget on Tuesday will unveil more :

http://www.news.com.au/story/0,23599,21675840-2,00.html

________________________________________________________

 

Dear Fatherhood Foundation

 

Just wondering when the next good to be great course will be running (locally)

 

Cheers

Josh

 

Editor's Note: There will be a Good to Great in Randwick commencing 5th September 07

For bookings please phone 9399 5959  or 4272 6677.

 

If there is enough interest, a Good to Great will also be run in Wollongong commencing in September 07. Contact Warwick on 4272 6677 to register your interest or email info@fatherhood.org.au

 

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

 

Dear Fatherhood Foundation

 

Greetings from New England, USA in the springtime ...

 

Thanks for the 'men's group' prompting: I've been meeting with

a group for about a decade; we call it:  "Iron Sharpens Iron" ...

 

Like you, it is a highlight of my week ....

 

All the best

Mark

 

back to top

Dad's Prayer

 

 

Dear God

 

Mothers are a gift from heaven

to a world that needs nurturing.

Fathers are a gift from heaven

in a world that needs direction.

 

Help me understand that without nurturing

we will never have direction,

And without direction

we will never have nurturing.

 

Help me understand

the mystery of the partnership

and the complementarity that

a man and woman bring to each other

and to their children.

 

Help me live out this truth

in the furnace of marriage.

Help me understand that

true love comes at a cost.

It seems that many mothers

have known this for quite some time.

back to top

Help Us

Click here for more information about us

Help Us!

The Fatherhood Foundation is a Harm Prevention Charity.
Fatherlessness and inadequate fathering has been proven to be a source of harm.

The Fatherhood Foundation helps children by promoting excellence  in fathering. Excellent fathers are in word and deed: responsible, involved, protective, loving and committed to the well-being of their children and their children's mother.

If you would like to give financially to the Fatherhood Foundation Public Fund and receive tax deductibility:

Fatherhood Foundation Public Fund
(Name, address and amount details must be emailed for a receipt for tax deductibility)
Westpac Branch Wollongong
BSB: 032 695
A/C: 25-5558

Or mail cheque and address details to:
PO Box 440
WOLLONGONG  NSW  2520
AUSTRALIA

The Fatherhood Foundation Public Fund  is a public fund listed on the Register of Harm Prevention Charities under Subdivision 30_EA of the Income Tax Assessment Act 1997.

You have received the fathersonline.org newsletter because you have subscribed, or you have been subscribed by a friend.  If you do not wish to receive future emails, please click the UNSUBSCRIBE button below or send an email to info@fathersonline.org with the word UNSUBSCRIBE in the subject heading.

back to top


------=_NextPart_000_2977_01C78FBB.D4A8D840--