Funny Mothers Quotes

My mother could make anybody feel guilty -- she used to get letters of apology from people she didn't even know. - Joan Rivers

Children are a great comfort in your old age - and they help you reach it faster, too.  - Lionel Kauffman

Mothers all want their sons to grow up to be president, but they don't want them to become politicians in the process. - John Fitzgerald Kennedy

The joys of motherhood are never fully experienced until the children are in bed. - Author Unknown

My mother loved children - she would have given anything if I had been one. - Groucho Marx

I know how to do anything - I'm a Mom. - Roseanne Barr

A suburban mother's role is to deliver children obstetrically once, and by car forever after. -  Peter De Vries

Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your rest home. - Phyllis Diller

Children seldom misquote you. They more often repeat word for word what you shouldn't have said. - Mae Maloo

No matter how old a mother is, she watches her middle-aged children for signs of improvement. - Florida Scott-Maxwell